Chapter Four:
The early morning sky was gray, and was currently pelting down rain. The air coming from my ragged breaths were frozen the minute they left the warm confines of my lips.
It was a normal day. Just like any other.
Except for me having to make the hardest decision of my life.
I have read Jane Eyre, hundreds upon hundreds of times. But up until now I haven't really understood Rochester's and Jane's tie.
They describe it as a string. Tied from one of their ribs to the corresponding rib of their love. And if they should ever leave each other, that tie would break leaving them bleeding.
I could feel mine now attached to Jacob. As we walked together to the perimeter line, I could feel it humming. Trying to remind us of how much we needed the other.
Tears rolled down my face, and without needing to look, I knew he was in the same, if not worse state I was.
My hand in his only reinforced the link. It felt right. Sacred. But oh so delicate.
Making the choice for us to meet the pack, it felt as if I was ripping all my internal organs out, one by one.
He hadn't made it any easier. He had begged me, cried with me, even shouted at me, for us to fight. For us not to meet their demands. That he could protect me.
But I couldn't let him do that. He had a family, as I did. Billy and the whole pack was his family.
He had said to me, not moments before that our link, our love was deeper than any of them. That he could learn to live without them if it came to it.
I couldn't let him do that. If I had agreed, the decision would have eaten him up. Above all, Jacob was a lover. Of life, of me, of family. Making him turn away, would be taking away part of who he was.
I was so cold, and I couldn't stop shaking. My whole body felt like ice, like that acute pain right before you go numb.
We were close. I could hear the wolves on the other side. See Sam's outline as he paced, back and forth. Waiting.
I stopped. Jacob kept going for half a step, but when my hand fell out of his, he froze, and turned.
The clock in my head told me that we had forty seconds. Forty seconds to say, whatever we had to.
His eyes were red and puffy. The easy, glorious smile he had worn not a day before when he had tackled me in the garage, was now set in a deep frown. The expression was of someone in great pain.
He came to me, and wrapped him long, hot arms around me. We just squeezed.
Thirty seven seconds.
I felt him pepper my neck with kisses as a deep whine escaped him. He began to shake.
I pulled him back.
Thirty two seconds.
I looked into his eyes, filled with agony, and I kissed him. I put all my fears, passion and strength into him, and demanded a response.
He growled and kissed me harder.
Twenty three seconds.
We broke apart panting.
"I love you Jacob. I love you. I always have. I love you." I whispered into his lips.
I felt a hot tear land on my cheek.
"I love you too Ness. Oh god sugar, I love you."
Suddenly he pulled away and gripped my shoulders tight.
Eleven seconds.
"I will be with you. Soon. No force on this godamn planet will change that. I love you. Don't move on. Don't forget me. Please god don't forget. I love you sugar. I am not giving up!"
Six seconds.
With a feral growl he hugged me as hard as he could, taking my breath. I held on for dear life.
Three seconds.
A howl ripped from his lungs as he shifted, and he ran into the forest, crossing the barrier.
I fell to my knees. My heart was bursting.
I heard the wolves grab him, and tow his quivering furry mass away.
The string in my rib was barely hanging on.
I stayed. I listened. I prayed. I wept.
It wasn't over. I wouldn't give up. I am broken right now, I had hurt. But soon, I would rise. And I would get him back.
I stayed in the clearing, watching the trees wave. They seemed to mock me. They seemed to call, "It doesn't matter, and you don't matter."
Eventually I heard two fairy light steps approach me. I didn't look up. I could smell her.
"Oh Nessie."
She dropped to me, and gathered me in her arms. My body was numb, and I was shivering uncontrollably.
"Oh darling, oh baby." She rocked me in her arms.
Moments later, I heard footsteps. Accompanied by more footsteps. I felt the earth vibrate as they all came near.
My Mother released me, into the huddled mass of my family. I felt eight sets of arms hold me, whispering in my ear of how much I was loved, how much they cared for me.
Two thought came to mind as I was held.
One, the werewolves were wrong about us. My family never drank blood from humans, and never hurt anyone. The love they brought to the world was vivid and intense. How anyone couldn't see it was beyond me.
And the second thought was the only comforting thing I could hold onto.
I could still feel him. On the other side of the thread. We were still one. And that, surrounded by family, was enough.
I heard Jasper take me into his arms, murmuring soothing nonsense into my ear with that low southern twang.
And I let it calm me. I let my family help me.
I fell, into a deep, dreamless sleep.
I awoke on my bed. Jasper was thrumming his fingers along my back, and Mom and Dad were lying beside me.
My internal clock told me it had been two days. Two days of complete shut-down.
My body was clammy, and flushed. There were bottles of ice everywhere around my body.
I turned my head slowly. Dad's eyes glowed into mine.
Without thinking about it, I pressed my fingers onto his pale chest, and let him in, and in turn saw we had to show me.
Apparently I had been in a deep fever, and had not three hours ago, been thrashing and speaking gibberish. I felt my Dad's fear for me, his love, and his deep hatred for the pack.
I saw Jacob's thoughts from so long ago when he took them from Sam. I saw my mother laying on the forest bed after Dad left. I felt his physical pain from seeing me in a similar state.
Then I saw the packs thoughts. Even head deep in worry, he had listened. Because he knew I'd need to see.
I closed my eyes and let myself drift into the memory of Jacob's head. Let the familiar feel run through me, until I was inside of him. Listening to his past.
I slid inside of him, and felt the scene around me.
My hands were bound, or I guess his, hands were bound, and I was facing a panel of six elders. The whole pack was behind him, watching and judging.
I felt Jacobs panic and need to be with me. It was almost too painful to bear.
"I usually start things with good evening, but since it is anything but, I will start with the offense."
The man who spoke had deep set in wrinkles, and an old weathered face that reminded me of dried tobacco. I searched, well, he searched, the man's face for any sign of tenderness. Understanding, neither of us could find any.
"Jacob Black, you have been found to have lied not only to the pack, but your elders. You have lied about a crime in this world more horrifying or devious then I have seen in almost fifty-some years. You have been found to be in a romantic relationship, voluntarily with a vampire.
"Half-Vampire." We both said at once.
The man didn't acknowledge the interruption.
"Now, the vampires, specifically the cold-one who is named Edward Cullen, is listening in. He is in all of our minds. But no worry, we are going to block him out when he has heard what we allow him too."
I felt Jacob's connecting the dots. How Dad would let me in, and he suddenly realized that I was there with him. I could feel his love for me bubble over, and envelope me. I let him feel my affection for him, and felt the shudder in his heart as he accepted and cherished.
"I speak to you know Edward. You're daughter, the abomination they call Reneseme,"
I could feel Jacobs anger rip forth, and tried to soothe him.
"Is the monster in this case. She has bewitched this young soul into believing he loves her. By the end of tonight, he will no more be under that disgusting notion."
Jacobs's heart accelerated as the words were spoken. "No, no, no, Ness!" His thoughts jumped into my own.
"Now, because we don't have the power to make him forget her or the feelings your daughter falsely placed, we will do the best we can. But be assured, he will not touch her, or accept her anymore."
The old man smiled grimly.
"We do have ways to accomplish that, human as they may be."
Jacob was searching for me in his head, trying to feel my presence. He let me see all of his fear, and his dead determination not to fall victim to their ways. "I love you, I love you, I love you…" He chanted in his head.
A very small woman beside the speaking man, whose eyes had glazed over from years of cataracts, raised her hand into the air.
"Do not try to contact him, for he will not wish to see you, or her."
The woman waved her hand, and four elders rose, and began walking towards Jacob. I felt his horrified mind reel, but steel a wall up in anticipation for what was to come. "I love you Ness, I won't move on, wait for me, I love you!" This time it was spoken aloud.
"I love you too Jacob, god I love you. I'll wait! I will always wait!" I screamed into his mind.
The old man spoke with a hint of bitter hatred.
"Goodbye, and may you rot in the hell that you are in."
Jacobs vision started to crackle, franticly I looked around, trying to look for any hope.
As I was being swept out, I saw Billy.
He was hunched over, sobbing.
Hey! What do you think? What does the Counsil have up their sleeve. And why have we suspiciously not heard from Sam? Hmm? Ideas? Well, as always, tomarrow Ill post the next chapter, and just a head's up, its long! Sorry, I kind of got carried away. Anywho, Im looking for a Beta reader. What do you say? You'll get access to the chapter before any one else! Eh, eh? ;) Leave a review telling me if you want to and we'll talk.
See you tomorrow!