4. Tales of A Perverted Alien

Usui showed up at Maid Latte two days later. When he walked in, she greeted him automatically out of habit.

"Welcome back, Master!"

He stood there, looking dazed. And then he laughed. It was just as humiliating as the first time.

All her coworkers expressed their condolences for his trouble and wishes for him to get better, which Usui accepted, first with bemusement and then with growing frustration when more and more kept coming. He didn't like the attention, she knew, and having all these waitresses he didn't know being so familiar with him was clearly getting to him. When she worried he would start getting rude, Misaki hustled him into the back for some privacy.

She took him in. At least he didn't look any worse for having moved back home. He was in a suit, but seemed to have lost the coat somewhere along the way and his tie was loosened. (So long of making sure students followed dress code had Misaki itching to straighten it.) His remaining bruises had been expertly covered with foundation. His hair was even messier than usual and full of gel, as if someone had tried to slick it back into order and he'd gotten fed up and mussed it. Of course, it only made him look even more handsome.

She led him to the locker rooms, the only private place during working hours. She took a seat on the changing bench and cut to the chase.

"Why are you here?" she demanded.

"Igarashi told me to come."

She eyed him. "You're lying."

Usui looked impressed. "You're right. Actually, I overheard part of your conversation the other day and couldn't help myself."

He'd overheard her talking to Igarashi? Again? What were the odds of that? Or had that been Igarashi's plan, part deux? Either way, Miyabi Gaoka's President sure had a knack for getting things done indirectly, so that there was no risk of accountability falling back on him. But if Usui had heard them…

"How much?"

"Hm?"

"How much of our conversation did you overhear?"

Usui shrugged. "Very little actually. More of Igarashi's henchmen kept showing up and getting in the way. It's hard to listen in when people keep trying to shove you down the hall."

So that's why there were so many. It hadn't been because of her at all.

"I'm surprised you didn't beat them up."

Usui raised his eyebrows. Now it was Misaki's turn to shrug. "You did before. Igarashi and I were having a… disagreement. You barged in and, well, we left after that." No way was she going to admit he'd saved her. If he wanted boasting privileges, he was going to have to remember that little detail on his own.

"Was it the same kind of disagreement I overheard this time?" There was a hard edge to Usui's voice. Misaki looked at him sharply.

"You could say that. You heard us fighting then?"

Usui nodded. Misaki shifted on the bench. "Now I'm really surprised you didn't try to beat anyone up."

But should she be? She had to remind herself again that she was a stranger to him. A stranger that kept popping up and causing trouble. She remembered Igarashi's words about her needing to catch Usui's interest the right way in order to get his cooperation. But what was the "right way" in Usui's case? She still didn't know how she'd managed it the first time.

Usui rubbed at his hair. "Well, you don't seem the type who likes being rescued if you can help it. And I heard you pin him, so I knew you weren't in any real danger."

"How could you possibly tell who pinned who from out in the hall?"

He cocked his head. "Superior senses?"

When she snorted, he winked at her. "Don't worry. If you needed me, I'd beat up a whole army of henchmen to get to you."

Misaki scowled to counterbalance her blush.

"But you seem very committed to helping me," he went on, "even though I still don't really understand our relationship." He flashed her a look that warmed Misaki but made her wary at the same time. Abruptly he took a seat facing her on the bench.

"How do you feel about me?" he asked.

"You're a perverted, outer space alien," Misaki answered promptly.

Usui laughed and leaned nearer. "I think someone isn't being honest," he whispered, and he was so close to the truth it wasn't even funny. "Can't you tell me, Misa-chan? Please? I promise it will be our little secret."

Like her job had been their secret. Like her fear of ghosts, or her worries about money, or her mother's health…. He'd kept it all between them and never once used it against her. But now those secrets were gone along with everything else that had been between them.

Misaki scooted back. "You don't want to know," she said.

"But I do," insisted Usui. He tried to take her hand but she pulled away.

"No. I mean you really don't want to know. I was going to, well…"—confess to you—"before and you stopped me. You said it wasn't the right time and asked me to wait."

She could tell he was surprised by this, but after a second he regrouped and said mischievously, "That may be, but I bet I can guess what your answer would have been."

That made Misaki mad. It was irrational, but it did. He didn't remember anything about her anymore. How dare he presume to know something like that now! It was like having a stranger tell her how she felt.

She stood, stomping away to put some much-needed distance between them.

"You can guess all you want but you'll never know for sure now, will you, you idiot!" she yelled at him. "Because you had to go and play hero! Because you didn't get yourself out of the way!" She felt tears burn her eyes and tried to turn around before he could see, but of course it was too late.

She heard him get up and felt hands close around her arms, trying to draw her into a hug, but she shook him off and refused to face him until she got herself back under control. She was sick and tired of crying like this. She had never cried this much in her life and the fact that it was over someone like him… Is this what love did to a person? Make them an overemotional mess?

"Why are you here?" she asked again, proud that she was able to keep her voice steady. "Did you just come to bug me?" That would not have been out of character for him, after all.

She glanced at him, and was taken aback by the frustration she saw in his eyes, the way his gaze hardened and his hands clenched into fists.

"I… I want to remember," he admitted.

So, for his supposed devil-may-care attitude, it was starting to get to him. That would help out a lot.

Misaki met his eyes squarely. "Then I'll help you," she said.

Usui gave her a grateful smile and all the tension seemed to dissipate. It wasn't really gone though. He'd just bottled it back up.

When he took her hand, she didn't yank it back this time. At least not until he tugged her close and said, "Why don't we seal this deal with a kiss?"

She smacked him. It felt good to be back on old ground again.

That Sunday, Usui returned to Maid Latte. The café was closed, and Misaki used the chance to have everyone come and give his or her best memories of Usui to Usui. She hoped, if bombarded with a continuous stream of stories, Usui's memory might be jogged.

It was worth a shot.

Subaru and Erica went first. They told him all about the butler competition he'd competed in with Misaki and how hard they'd worked on all the trials. Usui kept a glazed expression throughout their story, as if trying to picture it, and things were going well until Subaru mentioned how Misaki stumbled off the stage platform and Usui had gotten hurt trying to save her.

"Ah. So you're also klutzy," he said to Misaki, who had been hovering, tense, behind his chair. He nodded solemnly, as if it made perfect sense.

"This isn't about me!" she snapped. "And anyway, you were the stubborn one who insisted on continuing!"

"That's true!" said Erica. "And Misa-chan was very sweet about it. Halfway through the final round she admitted to the judge that you were injured, and when he tried to say she was being weak, she told him off in front of everyone and had you taken to the hospital."

"And didn't she make him dinner too?" asked Subaru. "I thought Manager mentioned something about that."

Usui raised his eyebrows at Misaki, who blushed and said, "C-clearly this story isn't working. Who's next?"

It only got worse after that. Honoka made Misaki leave the room for her talk with Usui, and when Misaki leaned against the door to try and eavesdrop, all she heard was evil chuckling. Manager was sweet but more embarrassing than helpful. She went on and on about how cute the two of them were together, and how just watching them would make the flowers of moe burst into bloom. Eventually she dissolved into rapturous giggles and had to be ushered from the room.

"You were taken with my beauty at first sight," Aoi said to Usui when it was his turn. "You thought I was so cute, you accosted me in the changing room and Misaki had to fight you off me."

"T-that's not true!" Misaki said when Usui turned that deadpanned look her way. "W-well, I mean, you did assault him. But that was because you knew he was a guy!"

"Oh my," tittered Honoka.

Even the idiot trio tried their best to jump-start his memory. But by then Usui was at his limit for the day and had more interest in mocking them then listening to any stories they tried to tell. When the three burst into tears at being referred to for the fifth time as, "stupid steamed buns," whatever the hell that meant, Misaki decided to call it a day.

"But we'll continue this tomorrow at Seika," she told him as they walked to the subway station. "There are a lot more people there you can talk to. And you've spent more time at school then the café. Maybe that will help."

Usui had been pretty zoned out until then, overloaded by praise and history he couldn't recall no doubt. But at that he smiled and ruffled her hair, and Misaki felt herself relax under his touch. It felt so good she couldn't even work up any ire over it.

Truth was, she missed him. Missed his teasing and his knowing looks. It was painful to stand next to someone and feel like they still weren't quite with you. Painful, and confusing.

Monday Usui met up with her in the student council room after school. If possible, things went even worse than the day before. Shizuko gave him a full list of his stats, both in sports and academics, and then Sakura brought in some girls he'd rejected to remind him of how popular he was. This turned very awkward when several of the heartbroken girls re-confessed to him and Usui rejected them all over again, just as bluntly as he had before. Misaki scolded him for his coldness then ushered the girls out, but couldn't help being secretly pleased that for all his experience with females being erased, he still only seemed to only be interested in her.

Yukimura was no better. He sat there in tense silence for over three minutes, blushing and fiddling with his uniform before finally bursting out, "You stole my first kiss!" and fleeing the room. Kanou tried to hypnotize Usui into remembering, and while it did nothing for Usui, Misaki, who found herself listening to Kanou's words a little too closely, suddenly remembered where she'd left her watch three years ago.

"Woof!"

"What the hell do you mean, 'Woof'?" hissed Misaki.

Shintani slouched in his chair, crossing his arms and looking away from a blank-faced Usui who sat across from him. "That's all I have to say. Woof. If he doesn't get it, then oh well."

They talked to several others: Admiring guys from Usui's class, old teachers, even an infatuated lunch lady who'd stayed late to prep ingredients for next day's lunch. Nothing helped.

Misaki, feeling desperate, took him up to the roof. The sun was beginning to set and there was a nice fall breeze that tugged playfully at their clothes, but she knew even without asking that it held no meaning for him.

"Shit."

She prowled the roof, trying to reign in her dissatisfaction and think of what else she could do. But there was nothing, absolutely nothing.

The crinkle of a wrapper sounded deafening in the quiet of the evening. Misaki whirled in time to see Usui pop a lolli into his mouth.

"Where did you—"

Usui raised an eyebrow. "The puppy gave it to me."

"Puppy?"

"You know, the boy who barked at me."

"You're not supposed to eat candy on campus," Misaki told him, but her tone was hollow.

"Even if I share it with you?"

He held it out to her, as if some sticky, half-eaten lollipop could ever count as bribery. He'd done this before too, and it had been gross and childish and sweet as hell. Or maybe the sweet part had been when he'd wrapped her in his arms and whispered that he wouldn't let her run away from him.

She shook her head and sighed. "You need it more than I do."

"I wonder about that." Usui popped the candy back into his mouth. "You know, Ayuzawa, if this is too hard for you—"

"I am not giving up!"

Usui looked taken aback by her ferocity, but then smiled and came over to stand next to her. "I was only going to suggest taking a break, that's all. Let all the information I've been given absorb some. See if anything surfaces on its own."

It made sense, but Misaki didn't like it. She'd never been the most patient of people, and with something like this… just waiting around would drive her insane.

And where would Usui be during that time, while he absorbed things and waited? Would he stay at home? Would he still visit her? Did she want him to if he couldn't remember her?

"Just… let me try one more thing," she said.

"Hm? What?"

She took a strengthening breath. "Come home with me."