Olivia stood in the alleyway for at least 5 minutes after Alex had turned and left. She truly wasn't good enough for Alex. Perhaps everything would end today and Alex would think her completely mad.

When she finally returned to the station, Casey and Elliot were there waiting for her.

SQUAD ROOM

"So what did she say?" Elliot asked hopefully.

"I…I didn't really say anything. Not yet."

"Liv, I know I completely made things ten times more nerve wrecking for you but, do you want me to go talk to her and explain what's really been bothering you? She'll feel horrible about accusing you of things but you need to open your mouth and talk Olivia, come one you can't hide it. You want to--" Casey said perching on Elliot's desk.

"You're right," Olivia interrupted, "it's my thing; I should have had the courage to just talk to my own girlfriend without turning to all of you. I'm sorry, you guys have been so great trying to help me with this anxiety…I keep going back and forth, one minute I'm so ready and the next minute, I'm scared out of my mind that she'll laugh in my face."

"You know she wouldn't do that Liv. What happened then if you didn't talk to her?" Elliot asked.

"I'm meeting her in Central Park, I should go and locate my guts and just do it."

Munch sauntered over.

"Hey Liv, umm just be you, I know she loves you…even if my track record isn't perfect. I think I've…well, I've discouraged you unknowingly. But hey, I can recognize two people who love each other; and well…you deserve to be happy, Alex will understand everything."

"Thanks Munch, that means a lot."

"Liv, honestly you should just tell her straight up. No nonsense. Just be real." Fin moved to stand next to his partner as he spoke to a pale looking Olivia. "And don't worry so much, the woman does love you, I mean she'd have to, to agree to meet you even after she thought you were banging Novak."

"FIN!" Casey livened up.

"What? It's true, that's what Alex thought." He shrugged.

"Yeah, well, there's better ways of putting it." Casey crossed her arms and frowned.

"Guys, can we just leave it? El, let Cragen know I have to go try and put my life back together."

"Yeah, sure…and good luck, partner." Elliot smiled.

"Yeah, Good luck, you chicken!" Munch laughed even after Fin smacked him in the shoulder.

"Oh and don't forget, you told me to remind you…your desk drawer." Elliot said pointed to her desk.

"Oh, yeah, thanks El."

With that, she smiled sadly at her worried and hopeful co-workers/family. She grabbed her jacket and opened her desk drawer; she gathered her belongings she left.

BRIDGE

The cab deposited her on Central Park E Drive and she walked along the wide walkway that led to the bridge. As she got closer, she could see Olivia standing near the middle of the bridge to one side. The detective wore her leather jacket and the sun made her olive complexion glow. Alex hated her for looking so gorgeous when she wanted to be mad at her.

On the walk back to her office she'd confirmed that she had jumped to the conclusion that Casey had been trying to protect Olivia's trust without lying to her.

She was still mad at Olivia for even making her think something was going on but she was curious about her lover's behavior. Olivia had become too secretive about what was going on in that pretty head of hers and she had just clamed up on her. To top it off, the Detective hadn't even given her a god damn clue while they were standing around in a windy alley either. No, instead, she was out in Central Park after begging Donnelly for the afternoon off; to meet Olivia on a bridge. At least, she was thankful she'd brought her light jacket this time and she'd get some answers out of her suspiciously acting girlfriend.

She moved to lean against the stone railing of the bridge next to Olivia so that their shoulders brushed and she stared into the water below.

"Ok, I know you're not cheating…but what's been going on Liv? How did it get to the point where I would even think that you were cheating?"

"I haven't been forthcoming about what's really been going on in my head Lex, that's why. And I'm so sorry you had to think I was cheating on you for you to get me to open up." Olivia stuffed her hands in her pockets and didn't look at Alex. She was still fearful that Alex wouldn't want this.

"Just tell me what's going on, please? You know you can tell me anything, granted I might yell and throw you off this bridge but it's a risk you'll have to take." Alex smiled slightly as Olivia finally turned and gave her a small smirk.

"You remember this bridge?"

"How could I forget? We shared our first kiss right here, in broad day light I might add."

Olivia smiled at the memory. "Yeah, we had a jogging date…in our short shorts and tank tops, completely sweaty, and we stopped to rest here…looking into the water at our reflection, the way we looked side by side…" she looked at Alex in the reflection in the water as she spoke. "…and I don't know who turned their head first, but we kissed…" A tear slid down Olivia's cheek. Lately she had little say when those tears would come.

"Liv…" Alex touched her shoulder lightly and rubbed Olivia's back comfortingly as she leaned over and kissed Olivia's cheek. The emotional detective leaned away slightly, not able to continue if Alex got any closer.

"Alex, that's the day I realized that, I-I…I didn't just love you…I was completely head over heels in love with you, so never doubt my love." Olivia stuttered slightly and it pulled at Alex's heart strings.

"Well, then we share something there." Alex smiled trying to reassure Olivia. "That day I knew I was in love with you too Liv."

"You did?"

"Yes, Olivia, you know I love you more than anything. Don't doubt my love baby, do you think I'd up and run away from you or something? I love you Liv…maybe I should have told you that I knew I was in love with you then…I guess I thought you knew. I'm so in love with you Detective Benson."

"Are you really Alex?" Olivia looked at the attorney next to her with pleadingly hopeful eyes.

The look on Olivia's face almost broke her heart in two.

"Liv? What's this about baby? You…do you really doubt my love for you?" She was genuinely curious about how Olivia really felt.

Moments ticked by and Olivia's body got even more tense. Alex was about to summon comforting words, but Olivia finally spoke.

"All this…this confusion, is my fault…I shouldn't doubt you, it's all so unnecessary but it's so hard to tell you what's been on my mind, Lex. I never even thought I could want anything like this, I don't think I deserve….I don't want you to tell me…that…you don't…God, what happens when you realize you can do better?"

Olivia turned away to hide her face that was contorting with emotion and Alex moved up and embraced her from behind never missing a beat.

Turning in the ADA's arms, she let Alex hold her close as she just buried her face in Alex's neck and held the ADA against her. Alex held her close, kissing Olivia's hair and rubbing her back gently.

"Liv, tell me what's been going on, you're scaring me."

Minutes ticked by until Olivia finally pulled away and leaned over the railing again, pulling Alex by the hand to stand next to her.

She spoke to their reflections as she began.

"You know what's funny? It scares me how much I love you. I'm supposed to be brave and ready to face anything." She took a deep breathe and continued. "You said some things earlier…you had a right to and I see now why you'd think I was disinterested in you even though it's far from the truth."

They turned and blue met brown as Olivia continued.

"I stare at you, not because I wish I wasn't with you but because I can't believe you're with me…I try to stay so far out of your way in the morning when we're getting ready because Alex, I don't ever want you to get tired of me…I don't want you to regret having me around or wish I wasn't there." Olivia eyes shone with sincerity as she spoke.

Alex recognized this as the woman whose mother drank herself to death, the woman who struggled with her identity because of what her 'father' had done to her mother. This was the Olivia she held on the nights when it all became too much for the courageous Detective and she'd cry so silently in her arms. This Olivia brought tears to Alex's eyes, this Olivia breaks her heart when she sees her emerge from her usually strong lover, and this is the Olivia she would never let go of, no matter how much Olivia tried to pull away and hide her.

Olivia continued, "I'm no one and you're who everyone wants, you're Alexandra Cabot, you're on the political fast track to success. What right could I possible have to…to want anything from you?" Olivia asked as if she expected Alex to validate her question.

"Olivia, you are everything to ME…you complete me Liv. What has you thinking about things in this way all of a sudden?" Alex asked as she reached out and rested her hand on top of Olivia's on the stone railing of the bridge.

Olivia looked down at Alex's hand on hers and smiled sadly.

"I woke up one morning, maybe 2 or 3 weeks ago, and you were holding me so close, your hair surrounded me, your body clung to mine while you held me from behind in your sleep…I laced my fingers with yours and I had a crazy notion that morning, and ever since I've been trying to figure out how to get it out of my head or deal with it. Alex, I'm so scared of what you'll say...I asked not only Elliot, but Fin and Munch…then I turned to Casey, you know, to get another woman's opinion..."

"Liv, I'm getting so confused, what is this all about?"

Olivia just shook her head a little as if to say if I stop now it would never come out.

"…I-I'd sometimes stare at your hand in the moonlight when it would sneak through the space between the curtains in your bedroom while you slept…and just think…ha, can you believe I thought that you'd want to be with me forever? I mean…who am I right?" Olivia laughed completely humorlessly as her thoughts scattered. "Alex, I couldn't help but imagine…" Olivia choked up and opted for actions instead of words. She pulled her hand from under Alex's and reached into her jeans pocket.

Olivia took Alex's hand and turned to stand face to face with the blond ADA. Alex locked eyes with Olivia and she only broke eye contact to look down at her hand in complete shock as Olivia slid a diamond ring onto her finger. The Detective took a hold of both of the attorney's hands and held them to her pounding chest.

"…I couldn't help but imagine what a symbol of my love for you would look like here on your finger."

She tentatively looked into Olivia's eyes and then down at the ring again.

Olivia still held Alex's other hand to her hammering chest as she lifted Alex's newly adorned hand to examine it and she kissed each knuckle before speaking.

"Do you know that last night I slipped this ring on your finger while you slept and your hand, to me, looked more beautiful than ever in the moonlight? I knew it was right…but how could I think something like that? I shouldn't even think about asking you to get an apartment with me because I don't like to see us go back and forth between our separate places. I don't deserve you Alex…but I can't risk losing you either…I can't risk you thinking that just because I'm a coward and hid these feelings from you, that I don't love you with every beat of my heart."

Alex looked at Olivia, mesmerized by the way the tears on Olivia's cheek reflected the sun and the sincerity in her eyes. All she could do was smile at Olivia through her own tears and speechlessness as Olivia continued.

"I have no right, no place in your world, but I can't go another day without letting you know what is on my mind…Alexandra Cabot, will you give my life meaning, will you make me the happiest woman in the world?…Lex, will you hold me in your heart always? Baby, marry me?"

"Oh my god…I can't believe I thought you…I never stopped to think…oh my god…" Alex laughed nervously in her completely shocked state.

Olivia smiled sadly and began to pull away.

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Will Alex say yes? Or… How evil am I? hmm…

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