While yelling at a band that couldn't come up with it's own lyrics, TwilitisVictim fell out of an extremely tall tree, hit her head while falling, landed on her spine o n a root, and then proceeded to roll down a hill (also covered with roots) then started laughing hysterically for the next four minutes. Oh? No, she's fine. We just thought you'd find that interesting...In fact, after the hysterics were over, she climbed right back up, and did a backflip of the same branch to show it who's boss....anyhoo here's the chapter-let's see what's going on with Edward and Tanya shall we?

Jacob: *lets out breath and stops plugging nose since Alice left to go "tickle some midgets"* Bella, what was that you were saying about Edward? And who's Tanya?

Bella: Tanya is a frie-well i guess more than a friend now but you know what i mean- is a friend of Edward's. I got a text from Edward saying that he was dumping me for her and that they were going to go "play"-

Jacob: Eww

Bella: Let me finish!......oh right I was done *grins sheepishly* ((A/N:Wait that doesn't even make any sense-last time I checked, sheep don't grin...back to the story))

Jacob: I oughtta kick his sorry ((keep it G-rated))...butt for all he's done to you!

Bella: Wait no! I still lov- no, nevermind, he can go die in a hole for all I care.

Jacob: Let's go!

Bella: Let's?

Jacob: Yeah, I'm not leaving you all alone with Alice on the loose! She might mistake you for a migdet...even thought she is one herself.

Bella: I call shot-gun!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

After a quick trip to the mousetrap section of Bed, Bath, and Beyond in South Korea...

Jacob: Ooh! Motorcycles!

Bella: I now know what the "Beyond" means.

Jacob: Shiny...*runs off*

Bella: Sure just leave me to face the vampires all by myself, that works. *walks down the mousetrap aisle, sees Edward and Tanya* Woah, did not need to see that!

Edward: *puts on clothes at vampire speed* Bella!...uhh...ummm

Bella: Yeah? *skeptical*

Edward: Bella, I...I...I... What I did was horrible. I hate myself. I don't know what got into me!

Bella: Silly Edward! You already said all that in New Moon!

Edward:???

Bella: Save it. I've heard all that before. Day after Italy remember?

Edward: Bella, I love you!!!

Tanya: Ohhh no he di-int! *snaps "z"*

Alice: *appears out of nowhere with armfuls of midgets* Ohhh yes he di-id!

Tanya: Well you can go to Jolly Pirate Donuts and take a two-hour s***!! for all I care ((For those of you who watch "Torretes Guy"-XD!!!!!))

Alice: *drops midgets* You wanna mess?!

Tanya: Let's go!

Bella: Go die in a hole, Edward!

Edward: Anything for you my love! *dies in a conveniently placed hole*

Bella:...That was easy.........*snaps out of it* Jacob!

Jacob: Yes, shiny-I mean...what?

Bel la: We can go now.

Jacob: That was fast.

Bella: Exactly what thought.

Ok, I've pretty much run out of things to say here so I'm just gonna make them leave now.

Back at home...

Jacob: So...

Bella: So...

Jacob: So what did exactly happen to Edward?

Bella: He died in a hole.

Jacob: Oh well now that that's all cleared up.

Bella: Jacob, I love you

Jacob: I love you too.

OK back to crazy Alice!!! Thank you guys sooo much for reading this so far. I've had a bunch of ideas jumbled up in my head for a while and now that I've gotten this great of a response (two reviews in under an hour on the first chapter) I think I'm going to pursue some of them.