Here's for the only reader I've got, ahah. Thanks Londonpunker14 for sticking around & reviewing and everything.
This is my favorite chapter so far, mostly because it has the most waited moment ever: Zack's reaction
Chapter 4: Hello Again
Today is yesterday's tomorrow, which means Zack's coming to AMG, which means I'm not looking forward to step into the building. That's why I've asked Faith to meet me in a coffee shop near the office. I can't go anywhere further from the building. My break only lasts for half an hour. Plus, I can see who's getting into the building without being noticed from here. I wonder if it makes a stalker out of me. I'd say it does but I don't mind. I just want to see him before I have to face him. I want to know if he changed even just a tiny bit or if he's still the same handsome boy I fell in love with all these years ago. I have to know how he looks like. I have to know how hard it'll be to look at him.
"You know that stalking is punished by the law, right?" Faith points out as she takes a seat next to me. It asks a lot out of me to tear my eyes away from the window and glance at her. I don't like the smile on her face. It reminds me of high school, when she went through her 'Miss-know-it-all' phase. Gosh, I hated that time. She leaded me into a few disasters with her bad advices.
"I'm just watching random people walk down the street." I lie, evidently. I couldn't even describe anyone in that street. All I'm seeing is AMG's building. My focus is on the gates and my vision seems to be blurry all around that point.
"And here I was, thinking you were waiting for an ex-boyfriend of yours to show up on said street." Faith humors me now. I can't believe she's doing that. She's not supposed to mock me. She's supposed to support me through it all. That's what sisters are here for.
"If you want to see him, just go back to work."
"I can't face him just yet."
"Listen, he may not want to talk to you ever again but it won't kill you."
"I miss him, Faith. I spent the last three years missing him and now, I have a chance to make it right. I just… I want my best friend back." I've finally said it. It took me a long time to admit it to myself and even longer to say it out loud. I spent the last year trying to be fair to my present by ignoring my past but I can't do it anymore. It's not going to be easy but I'll change the past into the present. It's worth a try. I have nothing to lose anyway.
"If there's one thing I know for sure, it's that you and Zack will work it out." Faith assures and I envy her confidence. She believes that Zack and I are meant to be together. She doesn't say it in so many words but her acts reveals more than she realizes. I used to share her beliefs but not anymore. I'm with Luke now and I just want to be friends with Zack. I just don't know if that's even possible. We've never been just friends before. There has always been something more.
"I hope you're right." I murmur before turning back to the window, just in time to see a car stop next to the building. Someone gets out of it and I forget to breathe for a minute. I can't see his face and he looks nothing like my Zack but I know it's him. No other guy can speed up my heartbeat with a simple glimpse at his back.
There's a voice in my head telling me to take Nano on his offer and spend the day outside of the office but I don't want to listen to it this time. I'm going to step out of this damn elevator and face Zack for the first time in three years. It's not going to be easy but I'm going to nail it. I don't care if it takes me a lifetime, I'll have my friends back. No matter what it takes, I'm going to get my old life back. The bell rings to signal the opening of the doors. The air gets caught in my throat as I notice Zack standing there. I take in a deep breath and walk out of the small room. Everything happens so fast after that. Rian stops talking and just stares at me. Zack turns around to see what he's looking at. The smile on his face fades away like snow in a sunny day. I start to walk in their direction. Zack shakes his head and leaves. I'm left here with Rian. I won't break down. Not yet.
"Don't look so defeated." Rian says from next to me and bumps his shoulder against mine. He's smirking and I don't like that. It's like he knows something that I don't. He probably does know a lot more than I do but it's not the point.
"A polar bear couldn't defeat me." I lie without ease. I've never been that good of a liar, really. My friends have always been able to call me out on my stories. They knew when I was going to lie even before I opened my mouth. According to Alex, I blink a few times in a row when I get ready to say something I don't mean.
"Looks like Zachary Merrick is stronger than a polar bear."
"I've heard that he works out a lot nowadays." I try to joke but miserably fail. Rian just stares at me with his eyebrow knitted together and I wonder what he's thinking about right now. I think my failed attempt of a joke came out wrong and made me sound like a desperate fangirl desperately looking for information on the band of her dreams.
"It's his way to put all worries aside." Rian says with a weak smile. Somehow, it doesn't surprise me. I always wondered why he didn't join a team back in high school but I didn't try to push him into one either. Selfishly, I didn't want him to become the star of a playground.
"After you left, he… he was a mess. He didn't get out of his house or talk to anyone for weeks. He barely ate at all, for that matter. It came to the point that we had to watch him to make sure he wasn't doing anything stupid. You really fucked him up and he can't go through that again."
"I fucked up big time and I hurt him bad! I know that, okay? It's been killing me for the last three years now and I really don't need you or Jack to remind me of what I did all the freaking time!" I spit out through gritted teeth, partly because I don't want everyone to hear what I have to say but mostly because I have no right to yell at him. He's just trying to protect his best friend. I'd do the same if someone messed up with Faith. Actually, I'd probably kill them with bare hands.
"I just wanted you to know why he won't let you fall back into his life without a fight."
I couldn't be happier to have so much work to do. I won't have much time to think about anything and it's exactly what I need right now. There are a lot of things I'll have to figure out eventually but I can't do it just yet. I'm not ready to give up on Zack yet but I'm not ready to face the situation either. I won't make the same mistake twice. I won't run away this time. With that decision made, I grab my bag and make my way to the elevator. It's a good thin I'm thin as I barely manage to slip in through the doors before they close. I could have wait but I can't be bother. The less time I spend in the office, the better. I lean against the wall and wait for the bell to ring but instead, it's a phone that I hear and it makes me jump out of my skin. Here stands Zack, clutching at his phone like his life depends on it. I open my mouth to say something but decide otherwise when I see the look on his face. It's going to be a lot harder than I thought.
Fourteen years old Kahlan sat on the beach, knees brought against her chest to lean her chin on it. She couldn't believe their summer holidays were coming to an end. The last two weeks had gone faster than the last two months but time always went faster when she was with her best friend. She wished they had spent more time together over the summer but she had been an idiot and chase a guy who wasn't worth any of it. It took her a long time to realize who was worth everything she had to offer but now that she figured it out, she had to forget about it. She'd never have him. She just couldn't take the risk to lose him. Not now, not ever.
"It's getting late." Zack announced but sat next to her anyway. He had been looking for her all around the small town they had been staying at for the last two weeks but he should have known that she'd be on the beach. She loved to sit there and watch the sunset. She said it was the best of time to reflect on life. He only followed her there because he loved to sit next to her.
"It's never too late." Kahlan replied, eyes focused on the ocean in front of her. It was their last night in California and she wanted to make the most out of it. As long as it didn't involve a crazy night out or anything like that. She wasn't much of a partier and it wasn't just because she was just over fourteen. She heard the recognizable click of Zack's camera and turned her head around to look at him.
"Are you going to get back with Elizabeth?" Kahlan asked softly after a few seconds of silence. The girl was as fake as Pamela Anderson's boobs but Zack seemed to like her a lot so she'd try to get along with her if he asked her. She'd do anything for him; even befriend the devil.
"Looks like it's only you and me again." Zack answered with a shrug before taking one last picture of the landscape. He looked down at her and felt these butterflies his grandfather had told him about, the ones supposed to appear with that one girl only. He always thought Kahlan could be his one and only but it had never appeared as obvious as tonight.
"Just like it should be." He whispered to himself and took his camera back to snap one more picture. He focused the lens on her face and pushed on the button before she could react. He wanted to remember the moment when he realized just how beautiful she was, with her blonde hair falling freely on her shoulders and her blue eyes reflecting the moonlight. It didn't take her long to notice him and hide her face in her hands. He put the camera down and took her hands in his, lacing their fingers together.
"Are you going to kiss me?" Kahlan asked with a light blush on her cheeks. Zack just stared at her for a few seconds with a smile tugging at the end of his lips. Then, he leant down and pushed his lips against hers. It was soft, sweet and slow. Everything a loving kiss should be. Everything a first kiss should be.
The elevator comes to an abrupt stop and I grab the closest thing to my hand not to fall. Sadly, the closest thing turns out to be Zack's arm and judging by the look on his face, he does not like that. I let go of him as quickly as possible but it doesn't seem to be quick enough. I have to get away from him now but it appears to be kind of hard to do when stuck in a closet seize lift. I take a look at the control board, trying to get us moving by hitting a couple of buttons like 'open doors' or 'level 1' but it doesn't work to the least. It looks like there is no intercom or phone or anything like that. All I can see is an emergency button. I'm trapped in an elevator with an ex-boyfriend who seems ready to call me. If that's not an emergency, then I don't know what is.
"I'll call Nano to tell him we're stuck here." I sigh as I look through my bag to find my phone. I really need to get a smaller bag one day or learn to put my phone in my jacket's pocket or something like that. It'll save me a lot of trouble.
"Do you think he's going to use his secret powers to get us out of here?" Zack asks with no humor in his voice. It sends chills up my spine but it's not good chills. It's more like "Gosh, he's an ass" kind of chills. I don't like it.
"I think he knows who to call to get us out of here." I answer wisely and with calm. I'm proud of myself. I'm not going to get into his game. I'm just going to let him be whoever he wants to be today. If that's a twat, then bring it on.
"Can't you just call the fire department?" He marks a point. I could have called the fire department. They are, after all, here to help. I'm not going to tell him he's right. I still have my pride and I'm sure Nano will handle the situation from there.
"Firemen don't fix lifts."
"They get cats down trees."
"Hey Nano, the lift seems to be out of service and I'm trapped into it." I announce without letting him time to greet me over the phone. Time is precious right now. I don't have any to waste with small talk.
"We know. We called for help already. It should be fixed in about an hour."
"Zack's in there with me." I don't know why I feel the need to point that out. It's not like it was going to change anything. They won't be able to work faster because of All Time Low's bassist.
"Just don't kill each other." Nano laughs and hangs up without waiting for an answer. The situation is everything but funny. Zack is staring at me with such intensity that I'm wondering if he's not trying to blow my head off. I'm lucky that the killing glare is only working in movies but I still hope they'll get us out of here in no time.
"They're working on it."
We've been stuck in there for two hours and a half hour now. Two and a half hour of complete silence and it's getting old now. Zack won't even look at me for more than a second. It looks like he's mentally slapping himself in the face every time he catches himself glancing my way. I expected him to hate me and maybe want to kill me but not to just ignore me. I don't know how to deal with oblivion but I know how to deal with anger. As strange as it sounds, I wish he yelled at me right now or through reminisces of my phone at my face. I wish he had some kind of reaction, just so I'd know that he still cares. It'd be better than this.
"Faith told me that you moved to California." I say to break the heavy silence and kind of surprise myself with the mention of Faith. I know that she kept in touch with the guys after I took off but she tries not to mention them too often. I used to ask how they were doing at first but then it got too painful. Selfishly, I didn't want to know that they were moving on and having a good life without me.
"Your sister should try to keep her mouth close for a change." Zack literally spits the words out but I see the shadow of a smile on his face. I used to be jealous of his connection with Faith. I knew that there was nothing more than friendship between them but I felt like we had lost our own connection after that kiss on the beach. I later found out that they only bonded because of me. Zack needed to talk about his confusion and Faith was happy to talk to him about mine.
"Why did you move there?" I should try to think before I talk. It'll save me a lot of trouble and probably some embarrassing moments too. I used to wonder why he had moved to Huntington Beach two years after I had left for Palo Alto. A part of me wanted it to be because he thought about giving us a second chance but when he didn't call, I stopped hoping for him to love me again.
"Why did you move back here?"
"I got a job here. That's how we got trap in that stupid lift together, remember?"
"You could have taken a job nearer to Palo Alto." He points out, not knowing just how right he is. I got a few offers better than the one I got at AMG but I didn't want to break things up with Luke. I just can't tell Zack about it.
"You didn't answer my question." I try to change the subject but I have no hope. If there's one thing to know about Zachary Merrick, it's that he'll always want to have the last word and he actually has it, most of the time.
"You didn't give me an honest answer."
I look at my watch and sigh heavily. I'm never going to believe Nano's word, ever again. He said the elevator would be fixed in about half an hour and it had been more than three hours now. We can't even call him back because Zack decided that it was okay to crush my phone out of frustration. We could use his cellular but he ran out of battery an hour ago. Today couldn't have been any better, really. I missed an important meeting with Crossing Coldwater and my ex-boyfriend destroyed my phone. I don't know how I'm going to explain that one to Luke. I could just say the truth and leave the 'ex-boyfriend' part out of the picture. I can already hear Faith telling me that I should tell him about Zack. I tried to talk to him about my past on many occasions but I never managed to get through it. It was just too hard for some reason.
"I wanted to be closer to you." Zack breathes out, which startles me a little bit. Not because I didn't expect him to talk but because his word doesn't make much sense to me. He needs to be more precise on the why, how and when. I can't figure anything out without these precious details.
"You wanted to know why I moved to California." He adds and I guess it's to dismay the confusion on my face but it doesn't work at all. I should say something, anything. I have so many questions running through my head but none of them wants to come out of my mouth. I just don't understand.
"Why did you come back?" Zack asks again after a few seconds. I consider telling him about how Luke's job at the hospital but I realize now that it's not a truthful reason, no more than my job at AMG. I didn't come back to follow my boyfriend. I came back to see what could be saved from the ruins of my old life.
"I wanted to be closer to you."
PS: I'm going on Holidays sometimes next week so I don't know when I'll be able to have the next chapter up. Within two weeks, that's for sure