A/N: Don't own Harry Potter
Awkward Moments At Hogwarts 4
Draco: Professor I was wondering if you could help me with something?
Snape: What is it Malfoy?
Draco: How do I pick up chicks?
…
Snape: What?
Draco: Ya know, how to make it with the ladies
Snape: Draco I don't think this appropriate subject, why don't you ask Crabbe or Goyle?
Draco: Professor, not to be rude, but have you seen them? No way they would know how to get girls
Snape: How about Blaise?
Draco: Are you assuming just because he's black he had sex?
Snape: Lupin?
Draco: No way am I gonna take advice from a werewolf
Snape: Your father?
Draco: I don't think he has gotten that much action…
Snape: I'm just saying this seems better if you talked to someone your age
Draco: But Weasley asked McGonagall about it and she gave him advice!
Snape: Really? Well then I must beat McGonagall in any way, so I'll do it!
Draco: YAY
Snape: Okay Draco pay attention cause I'm only gonna say this once
Draco: Right! (takes out quill and paper)
Snape: Never call a girl a mud-blood
Draco: I would never go for that kind
Snape: Right, I knew that
Draco: Then why did you mention it professor?
Snape: UHHHHH…Let's move on. Don't stalk outside her dorm
Draco: But I heard this vampire kid did that and it worked for him—
Snape: No! Just don't do it! Umm, try to be in the same house as her
Draco: What if I'm not?
Snape: Then…wait who are ya trying to get?
Draco: I don't see how that's relevant?
Snape: Is it Miss Granger?
Draco: GOD NO! I would never be in love with a mud-blood
Snape: Draco…
Draco: IT'S NOT HERMONIE!
Snape: Alright, whatever. Be your charming self
Draco: Do I have to? (whines)
Snape: YES! Don't disobey me boy. Girls like it when you're ch-ch-charming
Draco: Got a frog in your throat professor?
Neville Longbottom: TREVOR!
Snape: He said FROG Longbottom! Ten points from Gyrffindor, now leave!
(Neville leaves)
Draco: Okay professor, so how should I ask a girl out?
Snape: What do you mean?
Draco: Oh you know, should I say "Hey baby, why don't I make like Salazar and Sylther inside of you?" or "Just like the Slytherin common room, how 'bout my snake in your dungeons?"or "You look like you'd be a good Quidditch player. Want to ride my broomsti—"
Snape: Okay Draco, that's enough! I don't think I can help you achieve…that sort of goal. Now I might be old, but I know that girls this age don't like guys who are so…forward. (Mumbles) they also don't like guys who actually care about them and aren't mean bullies who act like they are great heroes
Draco: What was that professor?
Snape: UHH—Nothing! Now move along, I have—I have detention to deal with
(Draco leaves and walks by Hermione Granger)
Hermione: Draco, is that a wand in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
Draco: Well Granger, I don't have any muggle money, but I do have a sickle and two knuts.
(Hermione slaps in the face)
…..
(Snape comes up and slaps him with a book then walks away saying "Ten points from Gyrffindor!")
Thnaks to all the reviews they have been great :) Keep em coming. I would like to thank Harry Potter Pickup Lines on Facebok; read em, really funny! Hopefuly new chapter soon with break and all.