Jamie and I left our house with Lucas about an hour later. Lucas and I let Nathan say goodbye to Jamie after he came downstairs and then we just left. I didn't want to clean anything else up, and I didn't even want to look at Nathan anymore. He was just disappointing me.

I had planned on staying longer. I wanted the two of them to have their time together. I wanted Jamie to tell Nathan all the stories that he told me he wanted to tell him, but he just couldn't. I didn't want to stay there with Nathan pouting and Lucas fuming and me crying. And with Jamie just sitting over there wondering what the hell was going on with his family. It was best to just get him out of there.

Nathan called that night and wanted to talk to Jamie. I wouldn't let him. Jamie had cried in the car on the way back to Lucas's wondering why he couldn't be with Nathan. He finally calmed down when I stopped for ice cream and bought him a new video game to play with his Uncle Lucas and Skills. Nathan fought me on it, but I told him that he had already made Jamie cry enough that day, and I didn't want it to start again. He hung up after he realized he wasn't going to get his way. But I'm not surprised.

Now here I am, getting ready to leave work for the weekend. I get to spend it with Jamie, and I'm so excited. I feel like ever since the Nathan fiasco, we haven't had time to be together. He's been with Lucas and Lindsey a lot, and that's okay with me. He needs some kind of male figure in his life, and that's fine that it's his uncle. Lindsey is only in town for a few more days, and she loves him too so I'm glad they're spending time together before she leaves. I love the face that so many people love my son, but sometimes, I just want him to myself.

I'm picking my bag up and checking the desk for anything I might have forgotten to put in it when the door swings open and Lindsey comes in. "Hey! I have been sitting in the parking lot waiting for school to end so I could come talk to you!"

"Hello yourself." I chuckle and lean back on my desk. "What's up?"

"Lucas and I spent the whole morning planning an intervention," she announces, passing me a piece of paper.

And there it is. Everything we need to do. The facts and tips are on here. Even phone numbers of people in the area we can call if we need help. I'm glad she put those on here because we'll probably need all the help we can get.

"See?" She points to a spot on the paper. "Luke listed people that can be there with us and if you think of any more, you can add them. We have all the points that we need to make to him as to why he needs to get sober right here," she says, her finger moving towards another spot, "and all you have to do is figure out when you want to do this!"

She looks so pleased with herself, and she really should be. This is a great help to me. I've been wondering how we're going to do this, but I haven't had the courage to look for myself. I'm afraid of what I'm going to read or see. I don't want it to say how wrong I've been by telling him what I've told him or by doing what I've done.

"Lindsey, thank you!" I throw my arms around her, my bag bashing me in the back. I ignore that and just hug her for a bit longer. I want her to know how much I appreciate this. "You have helped me out so much!"

"Hey, Haley, we're friends," she reminds me. "I love Nathan and I love you and Jamie. Of course I'm going to help you out."

"Well hopefully it works," I reply.

"It will. I'm sure of it!" she exclaims. "Nathan loves you so much. That was obvious from the first moment I met him...he's just lost right now. He just needs someone to tell him where to go, and I'm sure that this is the way to do it. We'll get all these people together who love him and need him, and we'll tell him that."

"I've tried that, Linds," I admit. "I've tried to tell him that we love him and we need him and he just keeps saying that he doesn't have a problem." I shrug. "I don't know what else to do if he won't listen to any of the people on this list." I hold up the paper I still have.

"Are the names we put down here okay?" she asks worriedly. "Luke said he didn't think it should be a big thing considering how private Nathan is so if not all these people need to know then we can take them off."

"Well, some of them might not need to be on there. Like Tim? He and Nathan haven't spoken in a few months so that's probably not necessary."

"Yeah, Luke just figured that he would mention people who used to be close to Nathan. From what he said they were really close."

"Oh they were," I agree. "But after I came along, it kind of diminished and then Tim went to another school for senior year and I got pregnant with Jamie. But while they were in college they started hanging out again...and then the whole NBA thing happened so Tim kind of backed off. He wanted Nathan to be the best player he could and he didn't want to hold him back. So I guess in a way he was being a great friend for that." I look at her and she nods. "To be honest? I never cared much for Tim. He's a little...creepy."

She laughs out loud at that. "I've heard stories from Lucas. I totally agree with that statement." She plops down in a desk and I put my bag down and sit it on top of my own desk. I think she wants to talk now - she's got her girly gossiping face on so I'm going to go for it. It'll be nice just to talk with her for a while, and not about Nathan's problem. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." I smile at her, letting her know whatever she wants to ask me is fine.

"How did you feel the day you and Nathan got married? How did you know he was the one when you were that young?"

"Are you and Luke..." I trail off, not wanting to butt into issues that aren't mine. I don't want to be nosy. Nosy people tend to piss me off, so I don't want to be one of them.

"No!" she says a little too loudly and I give her a questioning look. She lowers her voice and speaks again. "It's that that I don't want to be. He's just never asked...and I love Lucas, but I feel like I'm still so young, and I don't know if he's the one."

"I see." I lean back in my chair and think about all the good times a bit before I answer her. There are so many and they started so long ago...Nathan kissing me that first time in front of my old house, the day he kissed me in the rain after I found the porn on his computer, the way he asked me to marry him and the way he looked that day with his wet hair all sexy and shaggy, the time Lucas got in that car wreck and Nathan was the one who took me to him, the night he gave me a little purple flower when nothing about it had gone the way I wanted, the way he professed his love to me on TV instead of accepting his scholarship offer to Duke, the day Jamie was born, the day we moved out of his mom's house and into our apartment with Lucas right before college started, when Jamie started walking and Nathan ran out immediately to buy a new video camera to record it all, Nathan and the Cobras winning the championship, and Nathan getting drafted into the NBA and kissing me senseless after it happened.

"Haley?" Lindsey waves her hand around. "What are you smiling about?"

I sigh as the smile falls from my face. Back to reality. "All the good times I had with Nathan before all of this crap," I answer, shaking my head.

"Ah." She nods. "See what I mean? It's so obvious to me just by the look on your face that Nathan is the one for you. How did you know that?"

"I just...everything always comes back to him, you know? Whenever anything ever happened to me, he was the first person I thought of to tell. He's the first person I think of when I wake up in the morning, and the last person I think of before I fall asleep. He's an amazing father to our son and he always protects me. I don't think there's one reason as to why he's the one for me," I tell her. "He just is. I felt it in my heart when I was seventeen years old, and I still feel it today."

She smiles, and I know she must be feeling that with Lucas. That kind of hurts because he used to be in love with Peyton, but if Lindsey is the girl he ends up with, then I'll be happy. She's a sweet girl. "Through everything?"

"Through everything," I confirm. "Even when all the bad stuff was going on...me leaving in high school and all that? He was still the one for me. I still knew that. And I still feel the same way even though he's going through all this. Just because things are hard doesn't mean my feelings are going to go away."

"Even if things don't work out?" she questions. "If you and Nathan don't make it out on top, if you can't be who you used to be...he'll still be the one?"

"Always."

And that's the truth. No matter what happens, Nathan will always be my first and only real love. I will feel that for the rest of my life. I know that. He's the father of my son, and truly my best friend besides Lucas. He's just everything to me, and he will always be the one.

On the way to be with Jamie, I think back to my conversation with Lindsey. I'm glad she brought all that up with me. I really am. It kind of made me realize my priorities besides keeping Jamie safe. My marriage and saving it is also a big priority. Nathan is the one, and I don't know what I'll do if our marriage does fail. Marrying him was the best thing I've ever done even though we've been through all of this hurt.

We've been through everything together. We've been through the for better or for worse, and the sickness and health. We've been through the for richer or poorer, and we've stuck by each other for all of that. Times have always been hard, but Nathan is the person who I chose to spend my life with, and I still want that. We just need to get him back on track.

I know I've been spending days going back and forth between what I want. Some days I know that I want Nathan for the rest of my life, and other days I'm totally set on getting him out of our lives. We don't need him dragging us down. But today, after talking with Lindsey and telling her about how Nathan's the one for me through everything, I know what I want. I know I want Nathan to be well and sober, and then he can start being my husband again. It's what I want. I don't want to lose Nathan.

When I reach Lucas's house, I smile when I pull into his driveway. He and Jamie are sitting on the swing out on the front porch, which I remember Lucas doing with his mom quite frequently back in high school. I remember him doing it with his Uncle Keith too. It warms me right now knowing that Jamie has Lucas. He's a great uncle, just like Keith was.

After I take my things into the house and change into jeans and a t-shirt with our college on the front and Nathan's number on the back that I used to wear to all his games, I join them on the porch. I scoop Jamie up as soon as I see him and plant kisses all over his face. He's squirming in my grasp, and I know he is too old for this, but I can't help it. I feel like I never see him these days. "I missed you!" I squeal.

"Mommy!" he groans and pushes me away a little. He doesn't make me put him down though, and I'm glad. He's growing up and I know he isn't one for cuddling with his mommy much anymore, but it makes me happy when he does let me.

"You know you missed me too, Jamie!" I tickle him and set him down and he goes back to sitting by his uncle. That's fine. His uncle is apparently so much cooler than his own mother these days. He played basketball! That's Jamie's attitude anyway. Jamie adores the game, just like all Scotts. I know that's part of the reason he and Nathan are so close - the love of the game. And it does worry me sometimes, but I love that they can bond over that. It's really special that they share that.

"A little," he admits reluctantly and then launches into a story about what he and Lucas did after Lucas picked him up from school. Apparently they played Rock Band on the Playstation. Jamie is a whiz on that contraption too. He puts me to shame. I suck and Nathan has told me that for years.

"That kid kicked my butt, Hales," Lucas informs me, smiling at me. "Did Lindsey go see you today?"

"Yeah, she did," I reply, leaning up against the porch frame. "I'm really glad you two did that before you went and got him." I motion to Jamie who has moved to the driveway and is trying to shoot a basketball into the hoop which is like four times bigger than he is. Too bad he doesn't have that one that Luke bought him not too long ago. Nathan broke that.

"I'm glad to do it and you know it. It's time we get him back. I miss my brother."

"We all miss him, Lucas. It's so weird, you know? We know where he is and what he's doing but it's not the Nathan we all know and love so we still miss him...even though he's right here." Well, that made more sense in my mind. I just kind of rambled it out there.

He looks confused for a minute, but then just chuckles, watching Jamie throwing the ball up in the air. "I think I get it."

"Oh Luke, you've known me like my entire life. I know you understand what I'm saying. You get it when no one else does."

"Me and Nathan," he says and that's the truth. He and Nathan were the two that always got me. It's just a Scott thing.

I ignore him, unsure of what to say to that. "So has Jamie said anything to you about his daddy?" I laugh when he chucks the ball at the backboard and it just comes straight back to him. Oops.

"He asks about him a lot actually. I think he asks me instead of you because he's seen you cry over Nathan so many times. He picks up on it Hales, you know?"

"I know." I sigh and move over to the seat beside him. "I don't want him to see me like that. I just can't help it anymore. But thank you for being there for him. I really do appreciate all you've been doing."

"Aw." He puts his arm around me and pulls me against him in a comforting big brother sort of way. "If you ever need anything, you know I'm here. You're my family, and I'd do anything for you. I'd do anything for Jamie and Nathan too. You know that."

I nod and lay my head on his shoulder. "Sometimes I wish we were still in high school," I tell him honestly. "I wish it were you and me against the world again the way it was for so many years. Everything would be so much simpler. Except for you and your girl problems," I tease, nudging him with my elbow. He rolls his eyes and I go on. "But then I look at my son, and I realize that my life wasn't complete until he came along. I never knew how much I needed someone that I hadn't even met."

"He needs you too," Lucas acknowledges. "And for the record, that's how Nathan feels too. He told me that a few days after he was born, and you sent him on a diaper run. He stopped in at the cafe, and I asked him how things were going, and he told me exactly what you just did. He never knew he would need a person that much."

"If he needs him so much, why does he not understand he has a problem when he looks at Jamie? Shouldn't he be able to realize things aren't right when the one person he needs most isn't there with him?" I wonder out loud.

"He's in denial. And he's hurt."

"But if he's hurt, then he needs to know why he's hurting," I counter. "He should understand that to stop hurting, he needs to get his life back on track. He can have it all back, Luke! I was thinking on the way over here that once he's better, I want him as my husband. I don't want a divorce or anything. I want him."

"That's why we worked on the intervention thing," he reminds me again. "Because we all want Nathan back. I want my brother and Jamie wants his dad and you want your husband. We all want different things out of Nathan, and I'm telling you right now, I will not settle until we all have what we want." I open my mouth to tell him thanks, but he holds his hand up to stop me. "I know what you're going to say. But you don't have to thank me...I told you we're family and I'd do anything for you."

"And I'd do anything for you," I say, smiling. I don't know how I got so lucky to have him in my life. He's the best. "Now I think Jamie might want to go play with you. He's looking a little...distraught." Luke's eyes follow mine to where Jamie is pouting and stomping his foot on the ground.

"It's the height problem," he says, standing up. "Got it from his mommy."

"Shut up, Luke!" I cry, crossing my arms. "I can't help it!"

"Yeah, yeah," he mutters. "I don't understand how he is so short with a father as tall as Nathan is."

"Just go play with him," I order, laughing at his teasing, even though it's all at my expense.

The next morning, Jamie and I wake up early and decide to walk around town and get some breakfast and then head to the park. I'm holding his hand as we're crossing the street when I see a familiar blonde head on the sidewalk where we're headed. "Mama?" He tugs on my hand. "We know her right?"

"We sure do," I say, smiling. Oh gosh, it's been a long time and I didn't expect to see her, considering she moved in with her boyfriend in South Carolina two years ago. "Deb!" I flag her down.

She stops and pushes her sunglasses back on her bright blonde hair. "Haley?" She blinks a few times and then her eyes move to Jamie. "Jamie! Oh my God!" She stoops down to get eye level with him. "Come give your grandma a hug!"

"I knew I had seen her before!" he exclaims, looking up at me. I smile at him and urge him forward.

Nathan's mother hugs Jamie and I can tell it's a bit awkward. She hasn't seen him in a long time. When he was first born, Nathan and I were living with her, so she watched him all the time. When we went off to college, she visted often. Nathan always said it was because she didn't want to be alone in her big house, so we were thrilled when we found out she had a boyfriend and was going to live with him. We knew she wouldn't be alone anymore. Our excitement died down when she informed us he lived out of state. Jamie wouldn't know his grandmother anymore, but there was nothing we could do to stop her. It was her choice, and neither Nathan nor Karen wanted to tell her not to go...so we let her go.

I'm shocked to see her. I had no idea she was coming and she calls me out on that when she stands up. "Surprised?" She smiles a warm smile, and it's nice to see. Deb is sometimes nice to me and sometimes not. She's very protective of Nathan, and if she doesn't like something I'm doing, she makes it known. Obviously I haven't done anything wrong in her eyes...yet.

"I...well, yeah!" I cry out, moving forward to let her hug me. "It's great to see you! What are you doing here?"

"Haley..." Her smile fades and I realize then that she knows about Nathan's state. When she heard about his accident, she came to see him but he wouldn't let her, so she left crushed. "I know that Nathan's...sad," she improvises when she realizes that Jamie's eyes are wide and alert to everything, and that his ears are alert as well.

"How did you find out?" I ask, straightening out my clothing after our hug.

"Lucas told Karen and she gave me a call," she explains. "I know that maybe you didn't want me to know yet, but I figured it was time I came back to town. I'm here indefinitely," she informs me. "I don't know how to do this, but I want to help Nathan. And help you and Jamie."

"Thank you." I take Jamie's hand and we move over to a bench in front of a store, Deb following us. Once we're situated, I speak again. "Where are you staying?"

"The beach house," she answers. I remember then that she never sold it. Good for her. It's going to come in use now.

"I see. Actually, I'm glad you're in town. Lucas and Lindsey planned Nathan's intervention," I say quietly. I understand that Jamie doesn't know what that means, but I don't want him repeating it. "You were on the list of people, so please don't think that I wasn't going to call you."

She shakes her head. "I didn't think that at all," she defends, and maybe I was wrong in saying that. But things with Deb have always been tense, and I guess I kind of feel the need to defend myself to her. "Karen said she'd spoken to Lucas about it, and that there was going to be one but she wasn't sure when. I figured I would just come in now and see where my services were needed."

"That's really great of you. I don't know where you can start," I admit to her. "I don't even know where to start. You know that Nathan told me that he can't be the same person he was, and that Jamie and I should just leave. So we did."

"Oh Haley." She sighs, shaking her head again. "I didn't know it had come to that. I knew there were serious problems, but I had no idea the two of you weren't staying there any longer."

"I'd been thinking about it a long time. I just never had the guts to do it, and then when Nathan spoke the words, it was like a light bulb went off, and I knew we had to get out of there. It was best for Jamie. I don't want him around Nathan's...sadness."

She smiles sadly. "I'm sorry it's come to this."

"Me too." We sit in silence for a moment, and there's so much more I'd like to tell Deb. She's his mother and she deserves to know all this, but Jamie's right here, and I've probably said too much already. "Let me get Jamie breakfast and take him to the playground and then I'll take him somewhere so you and I can talk," I suggest. "There's so much I'd like to talk to you about, Deb, but I can't with him right here."

"He's being unusually quiet," she says, more for Jamie's benefit than mine I'm assuming, because she tickles him as she says it. "I understand that he hasn't seen me in a while, so we're going to make up for lost time! What do you say, Jamie?"

He smiles shyly and looks up at me. I nod at him. "Sure!" He kind of jumps up like he is finally done sitting quietly and moves closer to his grandma. "You can come play Rock Band with me and we can play ball and you can help with my Legos!"

She laughs and looks genuinely excited. "I'd love to!"

A few hours later, after Jamie gets chocolate chip pancakes and we spend some time at the playground, I drop him off at Brooke and Peyton's place. Peyton is at the studio, but Brooke is more than happy to watch him. She loves that little boy to pieces.

I drive out to the beach house. Deb told me that she had unpacking to do, so it would be easy to just meet there. I let myself in after she yells at me from the upstairs window to do so. It's so strange walking in this house. I haven't been here for years...not since before we went to college. Nathan and I snuck out for the evening. Deb was watching Jamie, and we wanted some time alone. I remember just walking along the beach, holding hands and talking about how great Jamie's life was going to be.

I try to control my tears as I take in the setting around me. I walk into the living room. There are pictures of Nathan everywhere, and there's some of me and him, and then some of all three of us. They're painful to look at. I can't believe they're still up. No one has stayed in this house for a long time. I think Dan was probably the last person to actually live out here. I know Deb put them up after he moved out to make it more homey in case someone did end up coming to stay here. It never happened, but the pictures never came down. And neither did any of the memories that happened in this house. They're all still here - clear as a bell in my mind.

Deb comes down the stairs and then greets me with another hug. "You look tired, Haley," she comments as she walks into the kitchen.

"Well I can understand that," I respond, not at all offended as I follow her. "I am tired." I'm emotionally and physically exhausted, but that's to be expected, I think, with a situation like mine.

"Would you like a cup of tea or something?" she offers, moving to the cabinet hanging by the refrigerator.

"Oh no," I decline, "I'm alright."

"Nervous?" she guesses.

"I don't know," I admit. "We haven't seen each other in a long time, and I just wish it was under different circumstances that you were coming back here. Not because your son is an alcoholic."

"Or sad?" She smiles, referring to how we disguised his alcoholism in front of Jamie.

"Or sad," I repeat. "Deb, I don't know how things got so messed up." I sit at the table and watch the water drip out of the faucet as she begins to make tea. "One day Nathan was going into the NBA and the next he's passed out in a wheelchair."

"I feel as if..." She pauses and pinches the bridge of her nose. "I feel as if this is my fault. I had those problems for years, Haley, and you know that. I was in rehab a few times for having unhealthy addictions. I used pills and alcohol to cover up the problems in my life, and Nathan's doing the same."

I take a deep breath, letting what she just said sink in. I've never really thought of that before. I've never blamed anyone for Nathan's addiction, and I'm not about to. That's not my right, but of course what she's saying does make a lot of sense. It was Nathan's choice to start drinking, but he did that knowing what his mother went through, and he did that knowing that he had a higher risk of becoming an alcoholic.

I could put the blame on Deb. I really could, but I won't do that. She doesn't need to hear that. I know that when I tell her it's not her fault, she will still feel incredibly guilty, and I'm not about to do that to her. She's come here to help him, and she is the one person who can really understand what he is going through. It's a good thing she's here.

"Maybe he is," I agree with her. "But it's not your fault he decided one day to pick up a bottle of alcohol. It was his choice, and he made that knowing full well that his family has a history of alcoholism and that it can mess people up." I pat her hand when she sits at the table with me. "Don't blame yourself for his choices, Deb."

She nods, covering my hand that is still on top of hers with her other one. "Can I just say that you're handling all of this so well? You have a grace about you, Haley, and you're doing a great job despite the situation you're in."

"I have to." I shrug. "At least I have to try to handle this well. I can't have Jamie parentless."

"You're right." She leans back and crosses her arms. "Nathan's missing out on that little boy, I'll tell you that much."

"Well hopefully he'll come out of this, and he won't miss out anymore," I point out. "Jamie is missing him terribly and I know that Nathan misses him."

"We need a course of action," she announces after she goes on for a few minutes about how precious and perfect my son is. That's always wonderful to hear. "I know you guys have the intervention planned, and I'd like to hear more details on that when you get the chance. For now, have you emptied the house of all the alcohol?"

"No," I tell her softly. "I didn't want to upset him anymore than I already have. I know he can't go out and get more, and I know there's not much left in that house. That's what Luke said anyway...I think he's checked it out. But I never took what he has in there out."

"Okay, well we need to do that," she says. I know she's right. I don't know why I didn't do it before. I didn't want to upset him anymore, I guess, and honestly, I don't think I had the courage. "I'll go with you," she offers. "It will give me a chance to see my son."

"Yeah, that'd be a big help. I need you to brace yourself before we go, though. He's not the same Nathan. He's a big mess, physically and emotionally, Deb."

"I think I can handle it," she says, standing up to get her tea.

I certainly hope she can. I lived with it for four months, and I can still barely handle it. Hopefully she's stronger than I am.