"Look Cas, I'm good," Sam said as he used his crutches to hobble himself down the steps of the bunker. "I want to heal on my own this time. I want to remind myself that I'm still human."

Dean sighed as he plopped down in one of the seats in the Men of Letters library. Thankfully the bookcase had only fallen on one of his legs, breaking it. Unfortunately, Sam was being a stubborn ass and wouldn't let Cas heal him.

"Call out if you need anything," Cas said to Sam as he hobbled away towards his room.

Dean sat in the comfy chair for a second before pushing himself up. "Cas…" he trailed and moved to stand directly in front of his best friend. "I need you to hit me."

"Dean?" Cas questioned, his voice dropping lower as he spoke his name.

"No, Cas," Dean began. "I feel fine, but I let Sam get hurt. I have to learn not to do that. You need to hit me, preferably where Sam won't see."

"No, Dean," Cas said with a shake of his head, stepping back. "Why would you ask me to do something like that?"

"I thought I could count on you," Dean said, advancing towards his friend again.

"You can, but not in that way," Cas said and stepped cautiously down the steps, away from Dean.

"Come on, Cas," Dean was practically pleading. "I need to be punished."

"Not by my hand, Dean," Cas said with a shake of his head. "I'm not your father."

This brought Dean up short. Cas must have seen what his father had done to him and what Dean then did to himself. Did Cas think he was gay? Did he think he was bi? Hell, Dean didn't even know what he was, but right now he needed to be beat. He deserved to be beat.

Dean studied Cas for a minute before grumbling and shoving past him towards his own room. He knew now that Cas would not let him out of the bunker because he knew Cas would stop him before he found anyone to beat him up. He opened the door to his room quickly and slammed it shut hard, making the door rattle on its hinges.

He ripped his jacket off before flopping down on his bed. He roughly pulled his phone from his pocket and plugged it into his headphones that were sitting on the nightstand next to him. Dean scrolled through the songs quickly before settling on "Whole Lotta love". He turned the music up loud, trying to block out all the thoughts of his dad that came rolling back into his mind like waves on the beach.

He could feel himself getting frustrated and he knew one way to handle that. Dean quickly unzipped and unbuttoned his pants, kicking them off of himself. He thought for a second before taking the headphones off long enough to remove his flannel and t-shirt. As the headphones settled back into place, he shimmied out of his underwear and grabbed his member which was already standing at attention.

Dean gripped his painfully hard erection and slowly began to stroke it. He knew that he couldn't go too fast or none of his stress would be released. His hand was moving up and down before pinching the end, pulling at it slightly. He sighed at the pleasant sensation that was spreading all over his body. He caressed his meatus with his rough, calloused hands sending bouts of pleasure down to his toes.

As the pressure began to build up, he could feel his hand working up and down his member faster and faster. Stroking harder, rougher than before until finally he felt the sweet release. His cum went straight into his hand even covering himself and the sheets in the thick white fluid. Dean groaned as he came and shuddered from the pleasure overwhelming his body. He laid there, not moving for what felt like hours until he regained his composure.

He began to slow his breathing as his eyes began to open. His eyes started on the ceiling until moving downwards towards the door where Cas stood like a statue. Dean jumped up out his bed, not bothering to cover himself as he shouted, "Cas! Ever heard of knocking?"

"I have heard of it, Dean," Cas began, his eyes landing directly on Dean's member. "I just did not think it was relevant after our conversation."

"It's always relevant," Dean growled out before pointing towards the door. "Get out." Cas nodded his head like a kicked puppy and began to turn until Dean noted the abnormal bulge in his pants. "Wait…" Dean began and Cas turned back around to face him. As Dean studied him, he noted the shorter dark hair and facial hair. Cas's old host had to have been at least 10 years older than himself and he knew right then what he wanted from Cas. "Come here," Dean ordered and waved Cas forward.

"What is it?" Cas asked as he stepped closer and closer to Dean.

Dean's breathing picked up as his eyes trailed down the length of Cas's body. He chewed on his lip before speaking, "Instead of beating me, I know something else you can do."

"What?" Cas asked, his innocent face lighting up.

A sly grin came to Dean's face as he stepped up closer to Cas and grabbed his blue tie. "This," Dean spoke before planting a firm kiss to Cas's lips. Dean felt Cas kissing him back timidly at first before Cas forced his tongue inside of Dean's mouth, taking what he wanted.

Cas turned Dean around and bent him over the bed quickly as he undid his belt. Dean couldn't help but feel excitement since Cas was probably not going to use lube and he knew it would be more painful that way. Dean had started to become impatient until Cas had finally pulled down his pants and underwear, shoving himself inside of Dean.

Dean groaned at the pain that he felt at the stretch of his asshole so quickly. His hand quickly went to his own erection, stroking himself with the rhythm that Cas was pulling out and going in with. Dean's body was rocketing forward with each of Cas's powerful thrusts. When Cas came, it hurt Dean with the amount of power behind it.

Dean practically screamed out in pain at the sensation and the climax sound Cas made was unlike any other he'd ever heard. He came suddenly with just the sound Cas made before falling limp onto the bed. He was exhausted all of a sudden even though not much work had been done by the two of them. Why had he let an angel have his way with him? He should have known it was going to hurt.

As Dean laid there not moving, he felt Cas climb in bed next to him and settle down into his memory foam mattress.

"Good night, Dean," Cas said as his head hit the pillow.

"Good…" Dean trailed before sleep enveloped him.

"It was an accident, dad," Dean pleaded with his father as he held the shotgun at an awkward angle.

"You fuck up all the time!" John snapped and advanced on Dean quickly. Dean backed up just as fast until his back hit a wall. John grabbed the shotgun from his hand and tossed it aside. "How are you supposed to take care of Sam when you can't even shoot that thing?"

"It… It looked like a little girl…" Dean trailed.

"Well that 'little girl'," John began, exaggerating on those two words. "Has killed five people already and is now going to kill another because of your mistake."

"I'm… I'm sorry, dad," Dean mumbled, fighting back the tears that wanted so desperately to come forward.

"Sorry is all I ever hear from you!" John snapped and thrust his fist forward into Dean's stomach. "Why can't you do anything right? Why can't you be more like Sam?" His father took his fist back, winding up before coming forward again.

Dean woke up gasping, pulling his knife from underneath his pillow and jumping out of bed. His eyes survived the room quickly and found it empty besides Cas tucked in bed. Dean sighed heavily and gingerly placed the blade back underneath his pillow. His eyes landed on where Cas slept and he took in this beautiful man lying in his bed.

"Beautiful?" Dean asked himself out loud, but as he studied the evenness of Cas's breathing he knew right then that Cas was indeed beautiful. The only problem was that Dean was all wrong for Cas and that was why he couldn't let anything like that happen again.