"You can't use the toilet 'til the train starts movin', Ma'am. Just a few moments, I promise." the train attendant wiped his leaking nose, then pointed to Calico with a smile.

"Watch your mum, boy. Make sure she don't use it. Wash your face."

Calico nodded him away, catching a glimpse of John glancing suspiciously at she and Sherlock through his compartment door. She almost greeted him but the door slid shut, causing her to be reminded quickly of where they were.

"He's gone?" Sherlock whispered. Calico nodded swiftly.

"He's gone, the door's shut, it is John's compartment. You stalker..." she recited in a low voice. Sherlock chuckled, opened the door, and stepped into the small quarters. He shut the door nearly all the way, but stopped to peer down at Calico for another moment.

"Now, you keep watch out here while I handle business. You do have the guns I've given you?" he asked, wiping stray lipstick from the corner of his mouth. She fought a smile.

"I'm not a child, Sherly..."

"And you're sure you'll be alright all by yourself...?"

"Yes."

"Remember to take off the coat, it's warm in here."

"Just go. Hurry on!" she ushered, closing the door and looking at her feet. She smiled and laughed under her breath.

She then sighed and began wiggling out of the extra layers of clothes Sherlock had forced her into. When she was down to just her normal clothes, a man with a gun gripped tightly in his hand walked into Mary and John's compartment. At the exact same time, the lights went out, and two more men emerged with clear malicious intent.

Before she could get to her own pistol, two shots rang from behind her, causing the men to crumple on top of each other.

Sherlock placed a hand on her shoulder and grinned at her.

"Boy, that escalated quickly." Calico whispered, crossing her arms behind her back and giggling. Sherlock snorted.

"Moriarty's men are all idiots. It took all of three minutes to do my work."

"Not too stupid, one just went into..." Sherlock placed a silencing finger on her lips and slid the door open. John and Mary, both on their feet with the window fully opened, gaped at them.

"Calico!"

"Holmes!"

"Distraction!" Sherlock yelled, picking up Calico and tossing her at John. She flailed her arms to avoid any intimate contact with him.
She saw Sherlock push Mary off of the train out of the corner of her eye, and she had to suppress a giggle. John brought them both to their feet, rolled his eyes, and looked around.

He quickly noticed his lack of wife, narrowed his eyes at Sherlock, and moved his hand away from Calico's shoulder.

"Did you just kill my new wife?!"

Sherlock raised his hands and shook his head. Calico grimaced.

"John, don't worry, I timed it perfectly."

"Have you killed my wife?!" John repeated, pushing Calico aside and launching himself at Sherlock, bringing them to the ground. He wrapped his fingers around Sherlock's neck and screamed at him. Calico attempted to separate them (mostly because the compromising position the two were in was very awkward, what with Sherlock wearing makeup and all).

The door slid open again to reveal a large man behind a rifle, pointed at Sherlock. They all froze and looked at him with wide eyes.

He pulled the trigger and was lit on fire immediately after, causing a panic among Moriarty's men.

Calico reached over and shut the door. Sherlock kicked off John, reached under his skirt, and pulled out a chain. He secured the door, turned back around, and pulled off his skirt.

John and Calico both shared a look of shock.

"Say, where did your shirt go?" she asked, lips curling into a slight smile. Sherlock shook his head, reached out the window, and sighed.

"Let's... let's get a move on." he panted over his shoulder. John turned to Calico with accusing blue eyes and a frown.

"You're explaining this to me when we get to some sort of safety." he scolded, climbing out of the window. Calico pouted, but followed them outside none the less. John kept anxiously looking over at her to make certain she didn't harm herself. She smiled reassuringly.

Sherlock finally slipped smoothly into a different compartment, followed by John. Calico clumsily jumped in and landed on the floor, squeezing into the spot between Sherlock and the seat. She silently thanked the heavens that he was so thin, because she barely fit as it was. A sudden barrage of gun shots had her slightly terrified, but she soon adjusted.

"Ow, don't move so much! It makes me nervous!" she gritted as Sherlock handed John a pistol.

"No complaining, you wanted to come."

"I did not! -"

"Make it count, Watson!" John sat up and shot at Moriarty's men while they reloaded their weapons. Calico wiggled uncomfortably, causing Sherlock to pinch her thigh.

"Keep still."

"But he's shooting at the man when it's obvious he should be shooting at the thing holding the train together! You said to make it count!"

"Don't you lecture me, girl. I have more experience than you in this sort of thing." John scolded, turning to look at Calico with a shake of his head and a firm look. He turned back around, however, and shot where she directed.

Plopping down in the nearly shredded seat was their cue that it was safe to stand up. John wrinkled his nose and looked at Calico.

"Why are you here? This is dangerous. You ought to be with Mary. Don't you agree?" he asked with a frown. Calico pointed to Sherlock with her thumb. John directed his attention to his old friend, who responded with a sniff and a turn of his head.

"Well, I'd like to have something nice to look at is all. I mean you had Mary last time." he mumbled, large eyes locked on the ceiling. John buried his face in his hands to stifle a laugh.

"Holmes, that's a terrible reason."

"I thought it was a good one. Besides, she said she wanted to visit Paris one day, and Simza is in Paris. Why not kill two birds with one stone?"

"I wish you would answer my questions." John gritted, holding his abdomen as the carriage moved over rocky roads. Sherlock shrugged, his hands neatly placed in his lap.

"What questions?" he asked in an attempt to play stupid. Calico rested her head on Sherlock's shoulder and curled her fingers around his hands.

"Please?" she asked, cocking her eyebrows. Sherlock attempted to ignore her, but found it increasingly difficult. Her expression was simply unfair.

"Oh, alright. I asked the Cabby to take us to the Romanies' village. That's where Simza is right now." Sherlock said, looking over at John with a slightly defeated expression. Calico smiled and released Sherlock, but John shook his head.

"No, I want to know why you really dragged her into this. I know it's for more than her being - er - easy on the eyes." John said, rolling his eyes and waving his hands. The carriage lurched forward, causing him to cover his mouth and lean out the window.

"There's honestly no reason I could think of, but it's a bit late to send her to my brother's."

Sorry for lack of updates on everything. I've been busy. XD