Hi everyone!

I know, finally another chapter for you guys. Laxus wasn't really cooperating on this one lol. Throw in everything else going on…yea, it's been busy.

But! Here it is, the next chapter for your reading pleasure. I will confess, Cobra really…I love that guy lol.

Enjoy!

Chapter 4 – Of Leviathans, Hockey Masks and Ukes

Cobra skidded to a stop outside the large tree that had, in his mind, mystically grown big enough to house the old pink haired bat. His hands dropped to his knees as he desperately sucked oxygen back into his burning lungs. He'd ran the whole way there, silently praying that the stupid impetuous…Albeit fucking Beautiful oaf didn't keel the hell over before he could get back. Mavis that had been such a stupid move. Why the hell had he kissed him? Why the fuck had he kissed him back? He let out a growl of frustration as he pushed himself to stand and made his way up to the door. His fist came up to knock but found it suddenly yanked open to reveal the scowling old bird's face. Why the hell the woman always looked as though she just sucked a sack full of lemons through the ass of a polar bear was beyond him. He didn't like her, not that he disliked her. It was more a trust issue. She smelled…funny, as if familiar but not and her thoughts were always completely closed off to him. Like Laxus' had been…

"Why the hell have you brought your stench to my door step? If you're lost then go back the way you came."

The woman made to close the door in his face but he quickly slid the tip of his shoe in the narrowing opening, earning a deeper scowl. Ok. He had anger issues but this woman took the fucking cake. "I'm not fucking lost. I need your help ya old biddy so pull your panties out of the thousand year old knot they're in."

What seemed like surprise flashed in her blood red eyes, her scowl slipping for just a millisecond? "Well why did you just say so you moron?" She grumbled as she stood aside to permit him entrance. "Not like I'm a damn mind reader. Hurry up because I don't have all day."

Cobra gave a roll of his eye and barely managed to slip past her without gagging. He was pretty sure she reeked of Makarov and…Is that fucking baby oil? He gave a visible shudder, there were things he really didn't want to fucking know and that topped the list. He gave a shake of his head to rid himself of the thoughts and images that were raping his poor cerebral matter. He had come here for a purpose and he didn't have time to waste. "I…" He paused as he saw her come into his line of sight. How exactly was he going to word this shit without giving everything away? Coming out with 'So I kissed your boyfriend's grandson and I think he might be dying now' just wasn't exactly being non-descript about his predicament.

"Spit it out or get lost."

His lip curled up in anger at her indignant tone. She really was a mean, old, nasty broad with a huge fucking chip on her shoulder. "Why the hell are you so fucking mean to everyone? Ya might have some better boyfriend choices if you weren't so fucking crass."

"Says the idiot standing in my house with maroon hair, reeking of formaldehyde and a certain Lightning Dragon Slayer."

Cobra opened his mouth and shut it just as quick. How the fuck could she smell all of that? He was so screwed. So much for keeping Laxus out of this shit. That was the last thing he needed, this old hag going back and telling the damned guild master. He was pretty sure his asshole had just sealed itself shut with a big giant strip of I'm fucked six ways to Sunday. It made him wonder why Laxus had failed to mention this bitch had a nose stronger than theirs. The asshole had to know and yet let his ass run all the way here. He was going to kill him if he wasn't already dead by the time he made it back. "Whatever. I need something to treat poison."

The old woman studied him for a moment before she moved off towards a shelf. "Went and poisoned someone? Why not just let them keel over so we can be rid of your ass quicker?"

"Why don't you gag yourself with that giant fucking stick up your ass and just get me what I need?" The words came out quicker than he could catch them. She'd royally pissed him off but he could feel the ass whipping coming on. She was probably going to turn on his ass, kill him and then dispose of his chopped up remains in some dark place where he'd never be found. Hell she's probably had a man eating crotch with teeth and that's why no one came to visit her ass except for Makarov. He was so little, she probably used his ass as floss. Cobra, you really are a sick son of a bitch. He saw her turn and he inwardly cringed, anticipating her attack. He was sure her skirt was going to fly up and she would sail across the room with some type of leviathan creeping out from between her legs. He was dead. No one would ever hear from him again, not that any of the stupid asses would bother to come looking.

"I don't see the rush," The older pinkette sneered as she made her way over to drop a vial in his palm. "He's a slayer so his body should naturally fight it depending on how far you went so he's got time."

Cobra couldn't help but flinch when the glass hit his hand and he blinked as he studied the clear bottle with its milk contents. She didn't kill him but was instead giving him…what? Was that a tip? Or was it really a nefarious plan to make him comfortable while she unhinged her mouth? He looked up and it hit him for the first time the woman easily towered over him. It had to be the leviathan that made her body its home. "Wh-why the hell are you helping me?"

She gave him a casual shrug of her thin shoulder. "My grandson seems to like you enough to rub his filthy smell on your ass. Now get the hell out, I've got shit to do."

He blinked at the woman, watching her hurry off to a cluttered desk in the corner. Did she just say… her grandson? His mind stuttered and words completely failed him. That could only mean he really was screwed. She wasn't going to kill him. She was going to take this shit back to Makarov, the entire guild would know and he'd die of the ultimate humiliation. Or Laxus would kill him for it getting out in the first place. Not that this was entirely his fault but still. "Could…"

Porlyusica looked up from the book she'd opened. "I won't go saying anything so stop soiling your pants. No one wants to smell your crap and it ain't my business who that boy spends his ti-"

"I'm not shitting myself you stupid old bat!" He bellowed, cutting the woman off. He should be glad she wasn't going to say anything. But instead, he was just annoyed. It had to be the woman just irritated him. The way Short Circuit does. He let out a frustrated sigh and turned for the door. "But…thanks."

"Yea yea now get the hell out of my home."

Cobra gave her one last glance before he opened the door and quickly set off back across town. He suddenly felt stupid. And nervous. And excited. As he jogged his way through the woods back towards the guild, he realized he didn't really have a clue as to where he was going. Use my nose. Who gave directions like that? A Six foot, two inch asshole that smelled like heaven and tasted like the best fucking poison he'd ever put in his mouth. Perhaps it was his inexperience, but even recalling the feel of that tongue wrapping itself around his made his toes curl and his cock twitch in his pants. Then there was that god forsaken soul. Out of anyone, Laxus was definitely the last person he would have thought to be the owner. It stirred him in ways that even his well-read mind had trouble putting into words. He hated that the most because it only left one thought. Laxus was going to be the poison that was going to kill his ass.

Laxus finally got the front door key in the lock after dropping the damn things only five times, slamming his head into the door, tripping up the steps. How the hell did someone even trip UP a set of three steps? I'm such a fucking idiot. Instead of flashing home and giving himself time to calm the fuck down before the little one eyed bastard got there, he'd made himself walk. It was more of a power walk or sprint but who the hell was counting. He'd made sure to mark the trail occasionally and every time he'd questioned just why the hell he was bothering. It wasn't like the guy was going to show. Not after he attacked his ass in the gym. Then seeing him outside, the guy had actually looked scared as hell. And then the shitass just had to go getting all flustered and blush. That alone had about undone him. A uke. A goddamn, gorgeous ass uke with enough spit fire to burn his ass quicker than anything Natsu could produce. He was so fucked because he had zero chances of resisting that crap.

A growl of frustration ricocheted out of his mouth as he struggled to get the door open. "Oh come on you stupid piece of shit! WHY ME?" If he wasn't so angry or scared he might break something further, he'd throw his big ass down on the ground and throw a colossal size temper tantrum. Or at least fry something with his lightening. It wasn't like the thing ever stuck but it seemed to fall into line with everything else going wrong. Life was out to get him, he was a thousand percent sure of that fact. Finally the door gave, or rather he suddenly realized he'd been pulling instead of pushing as he stumbled across the threshold. He only barely managed to avoid greeting the entry way table with his forehead by an inch or two as he righted himself. He wasn't a clumsy person but suddenly he was two left feet and two left hands. He was pretty sure it definitely was NOT the time to go running through the house with a pair of scissors. Or a knife. Or sword. Or my fucking dick for that matter. The image of him tripping and breaking his cock flashed in his head, making him cringe. Yea. That definitely wasn't going to happen. And it was all the little fucker's fault. If the guy wasn't so fucking good looking and didn't taste so damned good, he'd be right as rain.

Why did I invite him over again? The question repeated itself in his head as he carefully climbed the steps to the second floor of his rustic home. He didn't need a repeat of outside and he definitely didn't need to fall down the things. How awkward would that be? Finally kissed the guy only to have him come and find his stupid ass dead at the bottom of the stairs. Or maybe that's what needed to be. He'd be put out of his fucking misery and that delectable little uke would get his just reward for being the cause of said misery. Opening the bedroom door, with no hassle mind you, he quickly pulled his shirt off and tossed it in the laundry bin. The thought of showering came to mind and his lips thinned in anger. It wasn't like he was getting ready for a date. So just why in the hell was he fussing? Why the hell was he fucking nervous and excited? The guy was just coming over to give him the antidote for poisoning his ass.

Laxus' fingers lifted to his mouth, poking at his lips and trying hard to not think about the way those oddly soft, plump lips had felt beneath his. They didn't feel numb and he didn't feel sick. Ok so maybe his stomach did feel a little tossed at the prospect of having the guy there. Alone. Away from the prying eyes of everyone at the guild. But the thought that he could get poisoned from just a kiss sent his mind in another direction. What about his cum? He wasn't a bottom but holy hell did the thought of making that little shit come completely undone with his mouth set his junk to full mast. Would he taste as good as his mouth did? Would he taste better? Have you lost your fucking mind completely, he poisoned your ass with just a kiss and you're standing here fantasizing about sucking him off? Maybe he should run around just so he could trip, fall and hopefully break his dick completely off. Well that decides that. A fucking shower it is. Just maybe if he released a little tension before the guy got there, he could clear his head a little enough to not fucking kill himself.

Or not. The moment he lifted his foot to pull his shoe off, he lost his balance and fell into the closet door. Now he'd have to fix that damn thing. And the dresser drawer. All he'd wanted was a pair of boxer briefs. That was it and he didn't think it was too much to ask but the drawer was against him in that. It stuck and both knobs were pulled clean off on his third try. He ended up having to break the track to get the thing out, spilling the contents all over the floor. He'd left them there with a wave of his large hand. If he bent down, he would have probably broken a hip or something. But now, he stood there in his bathroom staring at the floor of his shower. He was almost afraid to step into the thing. The words Death Trap were practically written all over the place in neon letters. Seriously Laxus? You're being a fucking pussy. Just get in the damn thing and wash your ass. He raised a foot to step in but paused. Second guessing himself, he reached over and grabbed a hand towel from the rack and threw it on the shower floor. Just for good measure. Better safe than sorry.

Cobra muttered a curse under his breath as he broke free from the tree line only to go deathly still as his eye lifted to catch sight of the large rustic home that loomed in front of him. Two stories with a wraparound porch that was home to a set of wicker rocking chairs and a few potted plants. One plant in particular caught his attention and a small smile crept up onto his face. Nightshade. Not many people grew it due to its toxic nature and the Light Socket seemed like the last person to be interested. Yet, the planters flanking both sides of the front door were filled with the deadly blooms. He could only chalk it up to the moron not realizing what they were. His fingers tightened around the vile he'd been carrying and he forced himself to climb the steps. His heavy booted footsteps sounded ominous against the wood as if they too were spelling his doom. The only thing missing was creepy fucking music or someone whispering "Ch-ch-ch-ch-ah-ah-ah-ah." I swear that motherfucker answers this door wearing a damn hockey mask, I am killing his ass. Machete or not. He raised his hand to knock only to let out what could only be taken as the girliest scream known to mankind when the door was flung open.

Laxus had smelled him before he heard the guy. He'd even been stupid enough to look out the side light on the door. The enthusiastic anxiety returned with a vengeance. So bad, he physically had to stop his stupid ass from jumping up and down like a stupid ass school girl. What the fuck was wrong with him? So the guy actually showed up. He was just bringing him an antidote for poison, even though he didn't feel like he needed it. If he was going to feel the effects, surely it would have hit by now. His body hardened and he let loose a curse under his breath as he waited to hear the footsteps on the porch outside. Apparently the shower hadn't helped. OR! WHAT IF THAT'S THE POISON'S SIDE EFFECT? Really Dreyar? That's a really stupid fucking idea, more like the poison's affecting your brain cell count. He waited for the knock to come, as patiently as he could but his anger got the best of him a whole fraction of a second in. He jerked the door open and any words he would have had were cut off by a feminine sounding screech as he watched the Poison Dragon Slayer stumble backwards.

This is going to fucking hurt. It was the only thought that filled Cobra's head as he felt his foot caught the edge of the porch. If he didn't die from the impact or the thorough humiliation he was sure to come, he was officially submitting his name for the next spokesperson for Playtex. Or is it Kotex? It really didn't matter right then, it would be for some stupid woman's feminine hygiene product. He just knew his dick had morphed into a damn vagina. When did my life become such a cluster fuck? The chance to answer his own question never came as he felt arms slip around him and he found himself turned before hitting the ground. The landing was way too soft and the groan he heard definitely was not his own. He didn't need to open his eye to know just what the hell broken his fall. Oh come the fuck on! I'm so fucking dead. He wasn't sure if dying was a good thing or not. Just one good inhale in, that Rain drenched spice rack with its hints of citrus and electrical charge filled his nose and he knew. Ending his life would be for the best. "We really fucking need to stop ending up like this," He groaned as he pushed himself up only to realize he was straddling Earthland's version of Thor. Not practically. Oh no. Literally and all it took was feeling the long, length of arousal pressed against him to send him scrambling off of the guy with no offer to help him up.

Laxus could only curse and thank any and every god that could possibly exist when the smaller man moved. Not because he was heavy. Sure his back didn't feel so well and he was sure something was probably fucking broken or seriously bruised. Or bruised and broken. I'll probably have a fucking colostomy bag by the day's end. But having him that close, pressed against him. It had taken every ounce of willpower he hand to keep from flipping the sexy ass little shit right there on the front lawn. "I really fucking hate you," he breathed as he laid there staring up at the sky for a moment.

The poison slayer let out a sarcastic laugh. "Yea, well the feelings completely fucking mutual Ass Bag."

"Whatever," Laxus groaned as he rolled over and pushed himself up. He really just needed to go crawl his ass in bed and go to fucking sleep. Just when he got to thinking the day couldn't get any worse, Karma fucked him in the ass to show him just how wrong he was. Without lube because that's just how Karma rolled in his life. "We really need to get in the damn house before someone comes along. You screamed loud enough to wake the fucking dead."

"Well if you didn't go around scaring the shit out of people! Baka!" Cobra sneered as he dusted the legs of his black jeans. Why had he even bothered with going home to shower and change before coming was still way beyond his own comprehension. He'd thought getting his rampant thoughts out of his system that he'd be ok. But oh no. He just had to go landing on top of the asshole. It was all his fault really. Not that it mattered. He was too close even in the guy's open yard. There was no way in hell he could go in that house. The guy was fucking sex on two legs. And oh my fucking god are his legs ni- What the fuck are you thinking? Drop the shit off and run. Run Cobra. Run as fast as your legs will carry your ass and don't fucking look back. "You go the hell in," He grumbled as he moved just close enough to hold out his hand to offer the vial. "I'm going the fuck home where I belong."

The lightning dragon slayer looked down at the open palm and eyed the vial for a moment before looking back up. He could smell the nerves and fear wafting off the other slayer in tidal waves. His fingernails dug into his palms as he took in the anxious shifting. This was his out. Just let the little fucker leave and all will be right in the world. He survived. They could go back to living their peaceful existence. And you can go back to pulling one off every night. Sounds like heaven Dreyar, go for that option. Laxus let out a sound of frustration as he grabbed the Poison Slayer's hand and pulled him towards the house. "Nope. We're talking."

Cobra stumbled as he was pulled forward, panic rising into his throat to cut off the sound of his own voice. Oh fuck me. He's going to kill my ass. FUCK! Why didn't I just let the old bat kill me? Death by leviathan snatch sounds heavenly compared to what he will do to me. He gave a yank back, in attempt to dislodge himself and got absolutely nowhere. The sheer warmth of that large hand gripping his traveled up his arm and spread like a damn wildfire. It was only then that he realized there were no thoughts, nothing coming from the tall blonde. Just that useless fucking static that drove him insane. It only confirmed that the guy was able to block him. And he wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. Given the situation, he'd prefer to hear his death coming. But then who the fuck doesn't like surprises. Oh. I know. This guy. Right fucking here. "Would you let me go, you overgrown Vulcan dick?" He bellowed as he was pulled through the doorway. Too soon he knew that door would close and if he made it out, he'd be crawling with limbs missing.

"I said we needed to…" Laxus' words died on the vine when he turned to close the door. He really did have every intention of talking. He did. He'd basically attacked the poor little fucker and now he'd had a taste… Where the fuck does that leave us? It wasn't exactly how this crap was supposed to happen but it had. And fuck him if he didn't crave more. The guy was ten kinds of off limits. A guild mate, another dragon slayer (a poisonous one at that) and a cocky little criminal bastard to boot. He needed to just tell the guy it was all a mistake and to just stay the fuck away. Anger that flared in that solitary amethyst orb, the twinge of fear that mixed in and Mavis help him, that slight dusting of embarrassment on his caramel cheeks. "You really need to stop doing that shit," he thought aloud and moved in before he could second guess anymore. He pushed at the door before bringing his hands up to grip the sides of the Poison Dragon Slayers head. As he moved in to capture those gasp-parted lips, he didn't miss the way that eye widened or the sudden flush of crimson on those high ass cheek bones. But one sweep of his tongue over those soft, supple lips and he knew he was a goner. If this was going to kills his ass, he might as well drink more from the source so he went with a smile and no regrets.

The wall of static dropped and Cobra found himself swallowed whole by the flame igniting thoughts and the tidal wave that was the Lightning Dragon Slayer's soul. His brain misfired rendering him frozen for a moment before he could comprehend that this was bad. It was so bad. But fuck me it's so damn good. His hands pushed at the wall of chest despite his lips all too willing invitation. His taste buds craved the flavor that washed over him as his mouth was invaded. He tried in vain to suppress the soft squeak of a moan that was pulled up as the more knowledgeable tongue swept his into a dance as if to show him the way. Cobra. You need to really get the fuck over this. It's a trap. He's going to eat your ass and spit you out. Eat my as…WHAT THE FUCK! Stop grabbing his shirt! NO! Don…you're so fucking easy. He caved as he felt the static electricity pull through his hair as the large man turned, bringing him along. It felt like it shocked him down to his toes, setting every single nerve ending on fire. And holy fucking god did he like it. His hands betrayed him as they slid up that gorgeous fucking chest, feeling the muscles flex beneath the fabric of the simple white t-shirt. Just fucking kill me already…

Addiction. The lightning dragon slayer just knew that was what this was and Cobra was the drug. There was no other explanation. The taste, the feel of the smaller frame that fit so perfectly against him. He'd questioned his actions for a fraction of a second but then the resistance melted. A moan of approval slipped when he felt those thin fingers feather across the back of his neck. Somewhere, deep in the darkest recesses of his bleach infested mind there had to a cyanide bleeding demon holding his sanity hostage. His self-control was nowhere to be seen as his hands slid down to palm the firm ass he'd been only dreaming about for months. He was drowning in the other slayer's shy touch, the seemingly unsure way the man's tongue slid against his. His fingers curled around the perfectly rounded orbs of Cobra's ass and easily hoisted him up and if it were possible, his body hardened further. There was no making it much further than the stairs, he couldn't wait. He needed more, needed to replace the fantasies that had plagued him for months now. Just kissing him proved his imagination to be severely lacking in every aspect. Where he'd envisioned a more confident partner, Cobra was more farouche. Nervous even despite the excitement he could feel coursing through his toxic veins.

The maroon haired man waited for sheer panic to set in when Laxus pressed him down against the stairs. But it didn't come, instead he was a slave to the inferno blazing inside of him. Great, you find someone who your ass doesn't kill and you become a fucking whore. Yea. Pretty much but then this was all new territory for him and he found himself unable to resist. It was better than anything he'd dreamed when he felt those large, strong hands sliding up his sides and that sinful mouth broke their kiss to trail over his chin. His legs parted way too easy, thank fucking Mavis he wasn't a skirt wearing chick because that shit would just complete his trollop image. But good lord was he cursing his jeans when the large blonde's hips flexed up against him. The material between his hard cock and the massive hard on Laxus was sporting only add mind stuttering friction. He found himself wanting the material gone and judging from what he was hearing from the Adonis above him, the desire was the same. Only one thought stayed his trembling hands from slipping down to rectify that. Am I really fucking ready for that? You're in the middle of your first make-out session so let's go really trampy and rip his clothes off. Stupid cunt… I swear.

Laxus nipped and licked his way over the most mouthwatering skin he'd ever tasted. His lungs couldn't get enough of that heady garlic, almond musk scent. And the soft whimpers and mewls emanating from the man's lips were music to his ears. He definitely would never have pegged the overly abrasive dragon slayer for a shy, blushing uke but good god was it driving him insane. He felt those trembling, unsure hands slip down only to pause, the already racing pulse under his tongue sped up and it gave birth to a confident grin. His lips traveled up to one of those sexy as hell point ears he hated so much and had to steady himself as the smaller male shuddered beneath him. He flicked his tongue over the fleshy bottom lobe, capturing the single gold hoop between his teeth. The gasp he was rewarded with only spurred him on. His hand came up to grasp one of Cobra's hands and he couldn't help but grin at the small amount of resistance he felt. "You're allowed to touch," He breathed into his ear before sliding his tongue up the outer edge of his ear.

Cobra fought every urge to moan. He wouldn't do it. I will resist. I will not give into his sexy fucking voice and evil tricke- oh fuck me. The twitch his cock gave when Laxus' larger fingers closed his own around the throbbing erection his palms had itched the touch. The massive tidal wave of chills that raced down his spine from that husky voice in his ear. Neither of those compared to the toe tingling, mind blowing shock to his system that came when he felt electricity hit the tip of his ear. His eyes rolling back far enough to see out the back of his head hadn't been enough. No. The fucker just had to go adding his lightning into the mix. And why the fuck does that make my dick want to explode? A loud cry of pleasure burst from his mouth, shocking him to his core. Oh god…fuck now I even sound like a BITCH! His free hand flew to his mouth, clamping over it tightly. There was no way in hell he was going to make a sound like that again. He was a fucking dragon slayer. Not some cheap ass prostitute getting her brains fucked out in a back alley for a couple of jewels.

Laxus felt those small fingers tighten around his length and he couldn't have given any shits about the fabric that separated him from that warm palm. Not when the guy had just let out the sexiest sound he'd ever heard. His hips flexed, pressing himself into that grip and he had to hold himself back. He wanted nothing more than to rip every last stitch of clothing from them both and lose himself inside the tight, hot heat of the Poison Dragon slayer's ass. No. He wanted to play with him a little more. He wanted to completely undo the guy, making him a quivering mass of jello in his hands. He pulled the hand from the man's mouth. "Don't cover that shit up," he growled in his ear. "I wanna fucking hear you." To punctuate his sincerity, as if it needed to be done, he repeated his actions. His tongue slid up the outer edge of that pointed ear and he channeled just enough magic to send an arc of electricity from the tip of his tongue to the tip of Cobra's ear. He had to thank the stars above for self-control because the sound that erupted from those addictive fucking lips and the roll of those slender hips up into him nearly sent him over the edge.

"Hey Lax...us. Uh. Wow."

Cobra stilled at the familiar sounding voice. He didn't need to look to know that one Lucy Heartfilia was standing there. Way to kill the fucking moo-what? Shut the fuck up and be happy she came! He opened his eyes, not even realizing they'd been closed, to find a seriously pissed off looking Laxus frozen above him. While the thoughts he heard from him were colorful and quite amusing, they all boiled down to the guy was seriously contemplating killing her ass right about then. He pulled his hand slowly from between them, as if that would somehow NOT let her see where it had been. You're a real fucking idiot Cobra. He heard the lightning dragon slayer's muscles tense as if ready to pounce and for the sake of the small blonde woman, he laid his hand on the man's arm. "Don't fucking kill her," he whispered just loud enough for him to hear. "Scare her ass but don't kill her." He didn't want to see the girl die, he liked her but he had to question that when she spoke, or rather whined, her mind's thoughts.

"Why the hell is everyone around here getting laid but me and Natsu?"

Laxus was going to strangle her. He really wanted to but then Cobra was right. He couldn't very well kill his little "sister." But why the fuck was life out to get him? What had he done that was so wrong, bad enough to piss Karma off this much? He let out a frustrated sigh and begrudgingly pushed himself off of the Poison Dragon Slayer. Looking at the guy laying there, his lips swollen from kissing, jeans pulled tight over the bulge, that light dusting of pink over his cheeks and the faint blood marks littered across his throat. Fuck me but he's so goddamn sexy. He slowly turned to level a glare at the celestial mage who stood just inside the now opened front door. Wordlessly, he moved towards her and grabbed the back of her shirt. He ignored her squeal and demands to be put down when he hefted her up and carried her one handed out onto the porch. "Little bit," he started as he set her down. His voice was eerily calm, betraying the voice in his head screaming for her head. He pulled the door closed and glanced at her for a moment before lifting his hand. "This is how normal people act when they go to a friend's house." He knocked on the door and paused for a moment before knocking again. "Oh! Would you look at that? No one's answering," he mocked in a high pitched tone of voice. "I guess nobody's home. That means I need to turn around and go my happy ass home." He turned and placed his hands on her shoulders to spin her about. "Now off you go," he said as he gave her a little shove towards the steps.

Lucy stumbled forward a little but stopped and whirled back around to face the larger blonde. Her lip poked out as her eyes widened in what appeared to be sadness. "But…but you are home," she pouted.

Laxus blinked at her. Fuck me really? Goddamn it to hell! Why the fuck does she always fucking do this to me? Oh! Because I fucking cave like an idiot every fucking time she does. Screw her and her fucking Puss In Boots pout! I have sex on legs laying on my goddamn steps and I just really want to fuck him. His own thoughts added to his aggravation. There he went with all the fucks again. "Really? You didn't even fucking knock Lucy! I love you but come the fuck on!" He bellowed. He didn't really mean to yell at her, he didn't. She was his last shred of sanity most of the time and knew him better than anyone else. He had already claimed her as kin; that was how much he loved her. But seriously? "Weren't you the one who said I needed to make a move? I did and…and…" It hit him that the little shit he was referring too was just inside the door and probably just heard what he said. Great. Way to go Dreyar! You're batting a thousand. Now the asshole knows you've been crushing on his ass. Just go throw yourself off a really tall building and be done with it.

Once the sexual fog lifted from Cobra's poor, befuddled brain, he found himself contemplating just what the hell he should do. What if Alice went back and told her loud mouth fiancé what she'd seen? The thought made him groan. He needed to get the fuck out of there and fast. Before he actually really did grow a pussy and start bleeding all over the damn place. The lightning dragon slayer's thoughts did make him pause. Ok and chuckle because who the hell would have thought a pout could be the man's kryptonite? I'll have to remember that shi…no. Don't remember shit because we're going fucking home so you can take a midol before your fucking cramps hit. As if to prove himself right, his cheeks warmed knowing Laxus had apparently been dealing with the same attraction he had. Knowing the guy had apparently discussed it with Lucy was confusing. He couldn't decide if it was a good or bad thing but apparently she'd kept that secret safe. There was hope yet. It was one less thing he needed to pile onto the Oh Shit stack he was sitting on. Pushing himself up, he quickly righted himself and opened the front door. "Alice, it's all good. I was just leaving anyways."

"Oh no! I'll go," Lucy blushed as she waved her hands and backed off of the porch. "It looks like you were…enjoying yourselves."

"We we're," Laxus scowled. "So you going is a great idea."

Cobra sighed and brushed past the Lightning Dragon slayer, pausing only when he felt a large hand brush against his. He hated the fact that something so subtle reignited the doused flames. He needed to give Lucy a really big fucking thanks and kiss for that little interruption. It had moved so quickly, his head was still spinning and he was no closer to figuring out if that was what he truly wanted. "I'll see ya later Short Circuit," he mumbled as he stepped from the porch and chanced a glance at the celestial mage. The fact that he didn't find condemnation or surprise…or disgust in her doe eyes gave him just the slightest bit of comfort. "Thought you were going on a mission though."

The blonde female frowned and looked away. "In the morning, something came up."

Laxus saw the deep frown that settled on the other slayer's face and knew it had nothing to do with being interrupted. As much as he wanted to smack her around for lack of manners, it dawned on him that she was not the type to just barge in. "Why don't the three of us go back inside? I'll make some tea and we can…talk."

The maroon haired man pulled his head out of her thoughts and glanced back at Laxus. There was no fucking way in hell he was going back in that house. Even the rampant thoughts running through Lucy's head couldn't sway him to do so. So she and Flame ass had another argument. It did give him a small amount of satisfaction to know he'd pissed the fire-retarded piss ant off. It didn't sit well however that the fucker apparently jumped her ass for taking the liberty to invite him on the mission. But he couldn't stick around. The overgrown bug zapper was her brother. He could sort her out. Cobra's assistance wasn't needed. What he needed was to get as far away from this place as possible and not contemplate what would have happened had she not interrupted. "Look," he said softly. That alone kind of made him pause. He wasn't a nice person goddamn it! "He…he's a dick so stop fucking worrying about it. He'll get over it." He saw her eyes widen a fraction just before he heard her mentally thank him. Not that he wanted her thanks. He didn't. He really didn't. He gave a shake of his head and resisted the urge to look back at the beautiful mountain of muscle that had just been pinning him to the stairs moments before. "You know where I am if you need to vent," He tossed at her before he forcibly strolled long enough to get past the brush on the trail back into town. From there, his feet took off and he ran as if the hockey mask and machete were chasing his ass.

Laxus pulled the pot off of the stove and carefully poured the water into the two cups he had placed out. He hadn't said a word since they'd come into the house, but then neither had she. He was grateful for the silence. It allowed him to collect himself and put things mentally back into place. His lips still held the faint taste of the man and he could still smell him as if he were there. It made absolutely no sense to him. He'd always been able to resist temptation. He never needed to be with anyone yet he stood there in his kitchen, yearning to have the little blushing ball of hatred pressed against him again. Blushing. What the fuck? He does that shit on purp… His thoughts came to a halt and he stared down into the tea tinted water. The guy couldn't be. Could he? "Little bit?"

Lucy's head peaked from around the door frame, an apologetic smile on her face. "Need help?"

He mindlessly dropped three cubes of sugar into one of the cups and drizzled a spoonful of honey before giving it a stir. "Maybe," he sighed as he picked the cup up and held it out for her to take. He pushed the thought away and decided to go the distracted route. "So, what did Natsu do this time?"

The blonde hummed her approval as she took a sip from the cup. "Well. Usual stuff," She started as she set the cup down long enough to crawl onto the stool at the breakfast bar. "He got mad at me for inviting Cobra out on our mission. Jealous I guessed so I tried…well…tried to assure him he didn't have anything to worry about and…yea…"

Laxus watched the slightest hint of pink flush across her sun-kissed cheeks. He wasn't ignorant to her problems. They'd talked numerous times about them. She loved the guy, they were planning a wedding and she just wanted to connect with him. He could kind of understand her feelings there. It was natural to want to be intimate with the person you're with. Oh you wanna be intimate with the guy alright. The thought of punching himself in the face flashed across him mind but he thought better of it. The jealousy wasn't overly new either. Natsu had gotten his panties in a fucking twist all because Lucy had hugged him. But then maybe the idiot wouldn't get jealous if he just sealed the fucking deal already. "Has he given you a better answer as to why the hell he wants to wait?" He questioned before quickly adding. "I mean, I'm glad he's at least trying to be a little fucking mature on that front. If I had it my way, I'd break his dick if he didn't respect your ass."

She gave a halfhearted laugh. "No breaking his dick, dear brother. I will kind of need that at some point."

"Not really," he shrugged. "There's always insemination for procreation later."

Lucy blinked and gave a slight shudder. "That's…that's gross. I don't want to be a virgin for forever Laxy."

"I don't know," Laxus chuckled. "I'm personally a fan of that option. I don't really want my little sister corrupted." Or hurt, he thought. The flame fucker could barely make it through a mission without her getting busted up. It was kind of pathetic and beyond worrisome.

"I'm a Fairy Tail mage Laxus," she deadpanned. "There's no hope for being innocent."

Ok so she had a point there. Just taking his pervy best friend and the stripping Ice Princess into account, that was enough to ruin an innocent person's view of the world. Throw in the rest of the crazies in their guild, corruption was ensured. Don't forget to include yourself in that Jackass. Hey! I wasn't…yea. Whatever. You were definitely molesting that poor guy. "You think it's possible Erik's a virgin?" The question slipped before he'd had time to catch it.

Lucy spit out her tea in a choking fit, the liquid spraying all over his clean counters. "Wha- God Laxus! Give a girl a heads up before you say something like that," she wheezed.

A full bellied laugh erupted from Laxus' lips as he reached for a towel. He hadn't really been trying to kill her, despite his earlier thoughts. "Sorry. That…just kind of slipped out there."

"Why would you even think that?" She questioned as she wiped the excess liquid from her face and hands. "I mean, from what I saw he definitely didn't look like a virgin."

His lips pursed in thought, images flashing through his head. It would explain the nervous fear he had. But no. That couldn't be true either. He'd been nervous. "He kisses like…" His words died as the thought hit him. The guy had said he'd inadvertently poisoned the last person he'd kissed and then was scared shitless when he thought he'd done the same to him. The uncertain touches, the overtly shy way he tongue seemed to explore rather than jumping in…the way he ran the fuck out of here. His eyes widened as the knowledge slammed into his brain like a runaway train. Erik, the Poison Dragon Slayer, was a grade A virgin. Sure, one could easily have sex without kissing. He'd done it. More times than he cared to admit. Ok so he tended to do it a lot, he didn't really care to kiss a random one night stand. Or with any of the fuck buddies he'd had. That was just something he tended to reserve for committed relationships with. And apparently that one sexy ass, maroon haired uke…the blushing uke. That thought officially sealed the deal in his head. "Little bit," he groaned before he slammed his head down on the counter. "I'm a fucking idiot and I seriously owe that asshole an apology."

And we finally have kissing! I have to admit, Cobra was way too much fun writing this chapter. I hope you guys enjoy him as much as I did. Him and his little blushing ukie self muwahaha.

A huge thank you to my triplet, Gemnika for pushing me when I need it and assuring me that it's perfectly ok to be head over heels for Cobra as a Uke LOL. I love you!

Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed. You guys crack me up and I love the suggestions and support. You guys kick ass!

Don't forget!

~MidLu Week, October 2015~

GemNika and I have decided that it's high time Midnight gets some love. So, we've created MidLu Week. The dates are from October 25, 2015 – October 31, 2015. And here are the prompts:

Day 1: Birthday

Day 2: Clock

Day 3: Pin-Up

Day 4: Copy

Day 5: Silence

Day 6: Makeup

Day 7: Halloween

There was such a great turnout for CoLu week (hosted by Dragon'sHost and Eien ni Touko) that we wanted to see if we could get the same affection for our favorite Narcoleptic Reflector mage.

~BixLu Week, November 2015~

GemNika and I have officially lost our goddamn minds. So, we've created BixLu Week, and decided that it should begin on All Souls Day. What better day to give our favorite Seith mage some lovin'? The dates are from November 1, 2015 – November 7, 2015. And here are the prompts:

Day 1: Fix

Day 2: Hidden

Day 3: Home

Day 4: Doctor

Day 5: Vendetta

Day 6: Fluffy

Day 7: Space

Please let me know if you're planning on writing for either of these pairing weeks, so I can make sure to check out your stories! Get those fingers to the keyboard and get to work! I know I'm extremely excited to see what you all write!

Until next time, please don't forget to R & R!

Big Hugs,

Princess Nana