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We Shoulda Picked Florida

Kagome stood awkwardly at the door, bracing herself to push the doorbell. She sighed. She wasn't supposed to be here. She was supposed to be at home, forgetting about her stupid trip. And that stupid jerk she was currently married to.

She was just supposed to go on with her life as though the trip had never happened.

But, seeing as she was here at the aforementioned stupid jerk's house, it was clear that the divine order of the universe didn't seem to like her.

"Hurry up and ring the fucking doorbell," Sango seethed.

Kagome sighed again. If the divine order of the universe didn't seem to like her, it hated Sango. Out of the four of them now (Sango, Inuyasha, Miroku and Kagome), Sango surely hated their situation the most.

Inuyasha may have been a jerk but Kagome did find him cute. And he had been bearable during the trip. She might have even grown to like him. Maybe she will grow to like him.

But Sango...

Somehow, in a drunken state, Sango had managed to find the type of man she hated the most and not only marry him but get impregnated by him.

Kagome was surprised Sango's rage didn't seem to set the earth she stood upon on fire.

She finally reached for the doorbell but Sango's impatience beat her to the punch. Sango rang the doorbell about seven times before banging on the door and screaming for someone to answer the fucking door already.

The door swung open. "What the fuck is your problem?" Inuyasha snapped, gold eyes burning with irritation.

"What the fuck took you so long?" Sango snapped as if Inuyasha was the one she had a problem with.

Kagome sort of tuned out as they barked at each back and forth. She absentmindedly noted how similar they are. But her focus was more or less on Inuyasha.

It appeared he had been interrupted mid-shower. And Kagome liked what she saw. Water dripped down his washboard abs into the forbidden zone which was just barely covered with a small white towel. Kagome bit her lip and couldn't believe she had no memory of the conception of the child growing inside of her. But aside from his good-looking body, Kagome's eyes were also drawn to his face.

Even though his eyes were narrowed in irritation, they were the prettiest shade of gold. And the way the wet silver strands clung to his face and back, Kagome felt her face heat up.

"Where the fuck is that good-for-nothing bastard?" Sango called, trying to peer over Inuyasha's shoulder.

Inuyasha scowled, "My question exactly. I told the fucker you two were coming here and he suddenly had errands to do."

"That bastard!" Sango snapped, clenching her fist, "Does he think he can get away from me that easily? After not only impregnating me but hanging up on me? If he thinks he can ditch me to raise his seed on my own, he's got another thing fucking coming to him!"

Inuyasha smirked, "I like the sound of that."

"C-can we come inside now?" Kagome managed.

Inuyasha blinked, "Oh yeah. Sure." He beckoned for them to come inside. "We definitely need to talk about this whole pregnancy thing."

Kagome sighed, mind reeling back to reality. "Like there's much else to say," she muttered as Inuyasha headed upstairs, presumably to finish his shower and get dressed.

Sango dumped herself onto one of the green sofas, still steaming. Not sure if this much was obvious, but she'd been in a seemingly permanent bad mood ever since she find out that she was pregnant. Kagome gingerly joined her, looking around.

After a silence, Sango sighed, looking up at all the family portraits. "Seems like he's a momma's boy."

Kagome blinked, "What?"

"Inuyasha," Sango replied, gesturing at all the pictures of Inuyasha smiling next to his mother. "Seems like a big time momma's boy."

Kagome continued to examine the furniture and all the thousands of pictures of Inuyasha. "I'll take you one up and say that this is his mother's house."

Sango tried not to snicker.

Kagome did not look at Sango when she replied, "Your husband lives here too."

"Don't call him that."

Kagome sighed. How did she and Sango get into this mess?

"So you're the unlucky baby mamas?"

Their heads whipped to the sound of an unfamiliar voice. There stood an redheaded, thirteen year old boy with bright, condescending green eyes drinking a glass of milk.

Despite themselves, Kagome and Sango couldn't help but note how cute he was.

"Hello," Kagome began, "I'm Kagome Higurashi and this is Sango Takahashi. And yes, we're the baby mamas. You are...?"

"Shippo Kitsune," he replied, "I'm Inuyasha's cousin. And yes, in case your were wondering, this is oba-chan's house."

Shippo stood there momentarily, his eyes flitting to them. He sighed, "We don't have a TV right now because oba-chan figured out that Miroku knew how to override the parental controls."

Sango and Kagome exchanged looks.

"She was worried about you?" Kagome asked.

Shippo snickered. "Not even. She was worried about Inuyasha."

Kagome and Sango shared yet another look.

"But yeah, me too. I guess," Shippo added, taking a seat in between them. "I honestly don't know what Izayoi oba-chan will do when she finds out about this." He gestured at Kagome's stomach, despite the fact she wasn't showing yet. "Blame Miroku, probably. Maybe even evict him. She's never much cared for Miroku."

"I can see why," Sango replied, tone laced with disdain.

Kagome groaned. "So, let me get this straight. My husband and the father of my child lives with his overprotective mother who will most likely hate me?"

Shippo nodded, "God sure loves you."

Kagome buried her face in her hands.

Shippo looked off to the side. "Um, how did all this happen? I mean, I know how it happened. We got that far in health class. But why? Out of all of the guys in Las Vegas, why Inuyasha and Miroku?"

Before Kagome could answer, Sango replied, "Because alcohol impairs judgement. Simple as that."

"Oh, makes sense," Shippo replied.

Kagome sighed, "Why, are they bad guys?"

"Are they bad guys?" Shippo repeated incredulously, "Are they-"

"Oi, runt. Shut up," Inuyasha cut in, appearing in the hallway and, unfortunately for Kagome, fully dressed.

Shippo gave Inuyasha a look. "What? I was just warning them about what they've gotten themselves into."

Inuyasha glared as Sango muttered, "It's too late for that."

Shippo stared at Inuyasha for a few moments as Inuyasha glared. Before blinking, "Oh. You want me to leave?"

Inuyasha nodded.

Shippo smirked, "Nah, this sofa is so comfortable."

"Don't you have some videogame to nerd over? Or some girlfriend to not have?" Inuyasha seethed.

Shippo glared, "That didn't even make any sense."

"Leave or I'll make your body unidentifiable to the police," Inuyasha threatened.

"You'd rot in jail, leaving Kagome to raise your baby all on her own, over little ol' me?" Shippo remarked, though he got up.

Inuyasha didn't respond just watched him go with an intense glare. As soon as Shippo was gone, he relaxed some. "Okay, we need to discuss our next steps here. I apologize, on Miroku's idiotic behalf though he doesn't deserve it, but we have to figure out our next steps before my mother gets-"

"INUYASHA, HONEY! I'M HOME!"

Inuyasha groaned as Shippo's laughter rang through the house.

Fun times at the Taisho household.

Sorry about not updating this in ages, but, to be honest, I completely forgot about this story...

*Groan* I shouldn't ever have this many stories active at a time...

Anyways, thanks guys for waiting ever so patiently for this dunderhead to update,

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