Note: Thank you for the encouraging reviews, alerts, favorites! If you feel like pulling your pitchfork from the shed at the end of this chapter just keep in mind that I don't write unhappy endings for these characters. As always my esteem and thanks go to the fantastic trio of MioneAlterEgo, Angela6257, and thepixiesmademedoit for their support, friendship, willingness to listen to me yammer on, and for corrected me when I have made any number of assaults against the English language. I appreciate each and every supportive review and thanks for reading along.
Chapter 4
"Actions speak louder than words, Kensi. And yours say you want out and you don't care about talking to me about it."
"You make it sound like I need your approval, Deeks."
"Not my approval. But I would have thought after three years that I deserve more than a by your leave."
"Since that actually means I would have been asking for your permission, then it does sound as though you think I should ask for your approval."
"Fine. Not my approval or permission. But why didn't you talk to me about this?"
"First, because this isn't 1832 and I don't answer to you. Second, I was trying to work through some details before talking to you. And third, I didn't think you would freak out like this."
"'Freak out'? I think I have a right to be mad."
Although Deeks didn't remember much from the night before, he did remember the location of the Fire Water Saloon. A short walk from his step dad's beach house, the bar had a colorful hand painted sign affixed over double wood doors. Kensi followed Deeks into the empty bar, pausing in the doorway to let her eyes adjust. On first glance the Fire Water Saloon looked like a typical bar with a pool table, long line of stools at the bar, and a few booths in the back.
When she could see clearly again, Kensi turned to Deeks, watching as his eyes drifted over the bar, searching for any recognition or clue that might bring back his missing memory from the night before. When he looked at her, shaking his head briefly, she knew it was all still a mystery to him.
"We're not open."
The man behind the counter spoke in a friendly but final manner. Kensi stepped forward, flipping open her badge. "Agent Kensi Blye, NCIS."
Cautiously curious, the man put down the glasses he'd been stacking and turned his full attention to them. Kensi saw the glimmer of recognition in his eyes as they fell on Deeks.
"You know him?" Kensi asked, gesturing to her partner. The man nodded.
"Sure I know him. He was in here last night. And the police were in here asking about him this morning. I'll tell you what I told them. He was here, ordered a drink and within a few minutes a blond woman sat down with him. Never seen her before. They had a couple more drinks, seemed to be having a good time, and then they left together."
Nodding, Kensi knew that version matched what was in the case file. "How long were they in here?"
"Maybe half an hour. Not longer than that."
"Did you notice anyone put anything in his drink, or hers? Did they ever leave their drinks unattended?"
The bartender shrugged. "I couldn't tell you. I serve them up, I don't keep watch of people's drinks. It's possible someone did. We were busy last night."
"Was anyone watching them? Did anyone ask about either of them after they left?"
Again, a shrug. "Not that I know of. I called my staff after the police were here and they didn't notice anything out of the ordinary either."
Deeks swore softly, catching her attention. Kensi met Deeks' eyes, knowing she saw her frustration mirrored there. They weren't getting any further than the police. At least they still had the lead on the footprint at the beach house. But it wasn't much. Not with a woman strangled, no murder weapon, inconclusive blood test results from Deeks, and no other suspect or motive for murder.
"If you think of anything, give me a call, please," Kensi requested, handing over her card to the bartender. She and Deeks turned to leave and were just at the door when the bartender called them back. "It may not be connected, but I heard this morning that the market next door had some vandalism last night. Some guy leaving the bar in a hurry crashed into the owner taking out the trash and they got into a fight, broke a window. You might want to talk to him."
Kensi nodded her thanks and Deeks followed her out of the bar. He shifted nervously and Kensi laid a hand on his arm to try and reassure him. "We've got a lead to follow, Deeks. And we've got the footprint. There's something else at work here and we'll figure it out."
Deeks have her a lopsided but worried smile. "In my head I know we will. But a woman is still dead and I'm somehow involved. And even though I feel bad about that I keep thinking about you leaving. And that seems to be a much bigger deal right now."
"A bigger deal than you going to prison for murder? Let's deal with the clear and present danger of your incarceration first, Deeks," Kensi said, trying to laugh past the intensity in Deeks' eyes. She moved to walk past him on the sidewalk but Deeks caught her hand in his, lacing their fingers together.
Kensi stopped, her breath catching at the warm feel of his hand tightening around hers, so tight that it almost hurt. And then he let go and she felt a lump catch in her throat, making it impossible to speak. She wanted to reach back for his hand but she shoved the impulse away. The gesture was a kind of sign but in the past few days she'd learned to mistrust signs. Just when she thought she understood the unsaid, the implied, and the taken-for-granted with her partner, it had been turned upside down.
She'd tried to take a leap with Deeks before. On Friday she'd tried to open up, to show him how much he meant as her partner. But he'd left her, he'd run away without looking back to see what he left behind. And even though she could be fearless about putting her life on the line, she refused to put herself out there for Deeks to disappoint her again.
Briskly straightening her spine, Kensi entered the market next to the Fire Water Saloon, noting the spider web cracked window next to the front door. The man behind the counter sported a black eye and swollen nose and was all too eager to talk once Kensi stated their interest.
"Yeah, there was a strange guy here last night. I was outside closing up and taking out the trash when he crashed into me. I told him to watch it and he blew up. Started screaming at me, he pounded on me and shoved me against the window. Then he took off down the street towards the pier."
"Did you get a good look at him?" Deeks asked. The shopkeeper shook his head.
"It was really dark and he was wearing a hooded sweatshirt. He was a pretty tall guy, white, pretty big. I called the police but they didn't seem too interested in a run of the mill assault. They said they'd send someone over later today to get my statement."
Thanking the shopkeeper, Kensi and Deeks returned to the sidewalk. She knew what Deeks was thinking without having to ask. What lead should they follow now?
Kensi glanced up and down the street, trying to consider their next move. When her phone rang Kensi was quick to answer it, hoping to get another clue to follow. She spoke to Nell for a few minutes, then hung up to pass the new information on to Deeks.
"Looks like Shellie Stern isn't a resident here either. She's from San Diego and has filed a couple of assault charges against her boyfriend, a guy named Paul Willis. He has some theft and misdemeanor charges, nothing too big. But the San Diego police are investigating him as part of a ring of drug dealers pedaling a new date rape drug down there. And she's dropped the assault charge every time. Last one was a week ago," Kensi reported.
Flipping through the new file Nell sent, Kensi handed her smart phone to Deeks so he could see the driver's license photos of Shellie Stern and Paul Willis. Deeks squinted for a second, then his face relaxed in unmistakable recognition.
"I do know her," Deeks whispered. He looked up at Kensi, clearly relieved to have some memory. Kensi remained hesitant, worried what that memory might reveal. But she had to know, had to ask.
"What do you remember?"
"She just sat down next to me, ordered the same thing I was drinking. She seemed really charged up, I figured her for just being really outgoing. I didn't really want to have a conversation with her but she was really persistent," Deeks replied. He paused then, searching for another strand of memory.
"Anything else? Anything about her boyfriend?" Kensi asked softly, wanting to try and gently pry the memories from Deeks' brain. He shook his head.
"Nothing else. This is so frustrating. Why can't I remember?" Deeks rubbed a hand over his jaw thoughtfully. "San Diego is only an hour away. Maybe she got in a fight with her boyfriend and she took off? And her boyfriend followed her and found her talking to me?"
"Maybe. Nell and Eric are running searches on him to try and see if we can locate him," Kensi replied. "He graduated from theft to drug dealing. Murder may not have been much of a leap."
"So now we wait?" Deeks asked. Kensi nodded.
"We need some results from Nell and Eric to follow. And the Oceanside Forensics Department is running your blood work again to see if that new date rape drug is there. It's so new that law enforcement is still developing protocols for identifying it."
Deeks groaned and shook his head, a ghost of a smile lifting his lips. "Man, the guys are never going to let me live it down if some jealous boyfriend took me out with a date rape drug."
Kensi put her hands on her hips and observed Deeks with a wide grin. "I think the guys are the least of your problems. What makes you think I'm going to let you live it down? Not to mention it might not have been the jealous boyfriend. It could have been the little blonde girlfriend."
Sighing dramatically, Deeks shared her grin. And Kensi had to admit that it felt good to share a light moment, even with the severity of what they were dealing with. And when her stomach growled loudly, Deeks' smile widened further.
"You hungry or something?"
"Yeah, somebody pulled me out of bed before the crack of dawn. I didn't have time for breakfast."
"Then I suppose that somebody should buy you some lunch," Deeks replied, gesturing towards the water. "Come on, there's a great fish and chips place at the pier."
Following Deeks willingly, they walked a couple blocks towards the oceanfront, sloping down towards the sand to a food stand with a line a dozen people deep. Kensi glanced at the sign over the window where customers ordered food, her eyebrows raised in skepticism.
"'The Tin Fish'? Really? Because I want my fresh fish to taste like it came from a can. That doesn't sound at all appetizing, Deeks," Kensi remarked.
"Don't be a hater until you try the food. The name is tongue-in-cheek. The food is amazing."
Shrugging her disbelief but content to try it anyway since Deeks was buying, Kensi let him order their food. And she had to contend that he was right, the food was undeniably delicious. They walked and ate, stopping about halfway down the pier to where the waves just began to break on their way towards shore, the height and curve perfect for surfing. Kensi leaned on the wood railing, watching as over a dozen surfers waited out on the water for a wave worth catching.
Deeks leaned on the railing next to her, his elbow nudging hers. She didn't move away, just reached over and snagged a French fry from his plate. Instead of glaring, he merely smiled and held the fries out for her to take more.
"This seems like a really nice place," Kensi remarked. "Do you come here a lot?"
"Occasionally. My step dad has pretty much held on to the property for me. Which is nice, considering."
"'Considering'? Considering what?"
"It's kind of a long story," Deeks hedged. Kensi turned to lean her back against the railing so that she could more easily look at Deeks head on. She adopted a casual stance but she was barely able to reign in her curiosity. It seemed very important that Deeks tell her what he seemed hesitant to share.
"I've got all afternoon. Or until we get another lead," Kensi replied. Deeks studied her carefully, as if he were weighing all his options, then finally nodded.
"My mom married Gary when I was thirteen. He was really good to us. He sent me to a private school, to music lessons, helped pay for my education. But he also made sure I earned my own money and that I learned the value of struggling a little. He even helped me get into college and law school."
"He must have really let you struggle if you became a stripper to make ends meet," Kensi replied, the words out before she really thought about them. Deeks sighed, a barely contained smile tugging at his mouth as he shook his head, clearly wishing he'd never revealed that secret of his past to her.
"He would have helped me then if I'd asked. But it didn't feel right, taking his money," Deeks replied, the memory of his youthful pride clearly still a strong one.
"He sounds like a good guy," Kensi replied, the broached the question that was on her mind. "Why haven't you talked about him before?"
"I haven't talked about him before because when I was a second year law student my mom got in a car accident that left her technically still alive, but brain functionally dead. And she was in the accident with the man she was having an affair with."
Kensi felt her jaw drop at this surprising news. Deeks had a past she was totally unaware of. For a second she was angry because he'd never told her. But directing the focus of her anger back at herself, she felt the guilt surge. He'd never told her, but then she'd never asked. But she could ask now.
"Your mom, is she still alive?"
Deeks quietly stared out at the ocean for a few minutes before he turned his head to look at her. "She was completely brain dead without any hope of her recovery. Her will didn't leave any specific instructions. Gary was understandably upset about the affair and didn't want to make the decision about taking her off of life support in anger so he let me decide. She died ten years ago."
"I don't know what to say," Kensi said quietly. Deeks shrugged as if to say it didn't bother him, when clearly even a decade later it still did.
"You don't have to say anything. I didn't say anything because I didn't want you to look at me like that," Deeks replied, scrutinizing her face. "Like you pity me."
"I don't pity you, Deeks. Compassion and understanding are not pity."
"Neither are they usually feelings in Kensi Blye's emotional toolbox," Deeks replied sharply. Kensi reeled back, stung at his words.
"Hey, what have I done to deserve that?" Kensi replied, unable to hide the hurt she felt. Deeks pressed his mouth together, unwilling to answer, and she pressed on. "This after you ran away on Friday, practically gave up on our partnership, after you—"
Abandoned me. Kensi caught the words before she spoke them but Deeks shot a glance at her, knowing her well enough to know what she'd almost said.
"I did not abandon you, Kensi. I needed some air, I needed a few days to clear my head. I thought you were the one leaving me for another job. A weekend away doesn't mean forever."
"I didn't know that! You just left without a word and I didn't hear from you. Besides, I wasn't leaving NCIS, not without you!"
"And I didn't know that either!"
They both halted then, realizing their voices had reached a volume that might attract attention. Deeks caught her eye, a flash of regret passing over his face.
"You weren't going to leave without me before, but what about now?"
Kensi shook her head helplessly. "I don't know. I honestly don't."
Deeks turned away from her so she couldn't see his face, couldn't see how her words had affected him. She didn't know if he was angry or sad, or just simply resigned. When he didn't turn back she realized she desperately needed some space of her own.
"I'm going to go get some water," Kensi mumbled, walking several hundred feet further down the pier to the built in bait shop on the north side of the pier's wooden railing. Buying two bottles of water, Kensi was heading back towards Deeks, the sun shining brightly in her eyes and making her squint.
What she saw had her dropping the bottles of water and running from a dead stop, her feet pounding on the wooden planks of the pier. A large man wearing a hooded sweatshirt was struggling with Deeks, his hands around her partner's neck. And he'd managed to lift Deeks up and off his feet, pushing him back and over the railing of the pier.
Kensi was still too far away to do anything but watch in horror as the man let go with a final shove and Deeks' footing and balance tipped and he disappeared over the wood railing, falling to the ocean below.
To be continued