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A Different Me

"What?" Ross stared at him stunned.

"Oh god…" Chandler dropped into a chair; he couldn't believe he had just done that.

"She's…. she's your sister?" Ross stuttered. "How is that possible?"

"Ross, you can't tell her…. Please…you can't tell her!"

"Tell her what? That you think she's your sister!"

"She is…." He whispered, looking down.

"How!" Ross didn't know what was going on, he didn't know whether to take him seriously or not. "Chandler, if this is one of your jokes…."

"Its not!" He insisted. "I was adopted…"

"Adopted?"

"Yeah, my Mom and Dad…they went to school with Rachel's parents and they didn't want me so they gave me up to them…"

"Wait…what? So you're her actual brother?"

"Unbelievable isn't it?"

"Yeah…" He said quietly, sitting down. "How long have you known?"

He shrugged, playing with the fabric at the bottom of his shirt. "My Mom told me about them when I was 18 and I went to meet them but it never worked out…."

"So, you've known all this time that you were Rachel's brother?"

"No, no not until they turned up the other week…"

"When you freaked out during dinner!" Ross remembered the night. "I thought they both were acting weird…."

Chandler nodded slightly but still didn't look up at him, he didn't know what to say or do. In a way he was glad someone knows but now he was worried Rachel was going to find out.

"Are you going to tell her?" Ross questioned, breaking the silence that had settled over them.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because there would be no point…"

"Chandler, she's your sister!"

"No, not really…" He sighed. "She doesn't even know about me…. We never do the kind of stuff you and Mon do… and we didn't have a childhood together!"

"But that wasn't your choice…or hers…" He pointed out. "And you can have what me and Mon have…. If you tell her!"

"No!"

"Chandler!"

"No, Ross, I can't!" He stated. "If I tell her then she's going to hate her parents…or she might not even believe me!"

"So, what now? You're just going to pretend you're just friends and nothing more?"

Chandler was silent for a minute, thinking about what he was just asked before he slowly looked up at him. "Yeah…."

"Okay…" Ross sighed loudly. "I won't say a word to anyone."

"Really?"

"Yeah…I promise." He nodded. "So, uh I guess we need to talk about what happened earlier."

"Oh, no we don't…" Chandler claimed, standing up.

"What? Come on, we've got to sort this out!"

"Ross, I really do not want to talk about it, okay?"

"Why not!"

"You kissed my Mom because you've got the hots for my sister and because she was all over some over guy!" Chandler explained. "Would you want to talk about it!"

"No, I guess not…" He replied. "But we're cool right?"

"Yeah, don't worry about it…" Chandler told them. "Just don't do it again!"

"I won't!" He promised.

"Good…and thanks…"

"No problem…." Ross smiled before laughing slightly.

"What?"

"Nothing just thinking about something…"

"What?"

"Well, I like your sister and you like mine…"

"Wait? What?" Chandler stopped him. "I don't like your sister."

"Oh come on."

"I mean, I like her as a friend…"

"Oh, please!" Ross laughed again. "You love her!"

"I do not!" He insisted. "Hang on, a minute ago you were sure I was in love with Rachel!"

"Oh, nah…I just said that hoping you wouldn't get to mad at me if you thought that was the reason behind it…" He admitted. "But your reaction did get me worried slightly…"

"Oh…" He frowned slightly before he shook his head. "Well, I don't love Monica either!"

"Its so obvious!"

"No it is not!" Chandler resisted the urge to stamp his foot.

"Alright, calm down…" Ross laughed again.

"She's my best friend!" He claimed. "And that's it!"

Ross stood laughing and just smiled at him. "Well, maybe that's the best person to love…your best friend."

"Ross…"

"No, hear me out…" He stopped him. "You and Mon tell each other everything, you're always hanging out and stuff…Maybe friendship is the main the key to true love."

Chandler stayed silent, just thinking about that statement.

"Y'know I'd be okay with it…" Ross told him.

"You would?" He frowned slightly.

"I trust you…. I know if you two ever got together it would be because you care about each other not for an alternative motive…."

"Yeah…but I uh…I don't like her like that so…" Chandler said inconvincibly.

"Oh yeah, I know….I was just saying if you did…"

"Which I don't…" He stated again.

"Okay, man…" He smiled knowingly before standing up. "Well, I guess I should head off…"

"Oh right, yeah…" Chandler stood to and following him to do the door. "Thanks, for listening and stuff…"

"No problem…" Ross nodded. "And I promise, I won't tell anyone."

"Great, thanks…I really appreciate it…"

"What are friends for?" Ross gave him a small smiled before turning and leaving. "I'll see you tomorrow…"

"Yeah bye…" Chandler called out before closing the door and collapsing into a chair. What a night!

XxXxX

"All right, you know Paolo?" Phoebe started to tell Ross and Monica glancing at Joey and Chandler as they headed out for the exit of the coffee house.

"I'm familiar with his work, yes…" Ross replied

"Well, he made a move on me…."

"What!" They all exclaimed, Chandler and Joey forgetting the table they needed to pick up, re-joining them again.

Chandler and Ross exchanged looks as Phoebe informed them all on what happened. Chandler hated feeling like this, he wanted to protect her, make Paolo pay but he knew he couldn't. He had no right to act all protective over her, he made a choice not to get involved in her life as a brother, now he had to live with it.

"Well, you've got to tell her!" Ross told Phoebe.

"What, no! I can't!" Phoebe replied. "She'll hate me!"

"Pheebs, if you don't tell her now then she'll find out some other way…" Chandler added. "Think how she'll feel then."

"You're right!" Phoebe agreed. "Oh but how am I going to tell her!"

"How about we all tell her…" Chandler suggested.

"What about our table?" Joey asked.

"That can wait!" Chandler rolled his eyes. "This is more important."

They all looked at him curiously, noticing the way he changed around Rachel lately. Monica was the first to look away, feeling jealousy rise inside of her. While Joey looked from Ross to Chandler, wondering what would happen if what he was thinking was correct.

"Uh, yeah I guess we can tell her together…" Phoebe nodded.

"Okay, we'll do it tonight…after she finished work." Monica sighed.

"Right…yeah sure…no problem…" The other agreed just in time before Rachel came back other, joining the conversation.

XxXxX

"Tell her!" Ross said, standing in the guys' apartment with Chandler.

"No!"

"Chandler, you're her brother!"

"No, I'm not…" Chandler replied. "Not really anyway."

"Yes you are, more then you think!" Ross stated, he had watched how Chandler had acted around her over the last week and he knew, no matter how much he tried to deny it, he care about her just as a friend but as a brother.

"Ross, I made a choice to be her friend so that's what I'm going to do!"

"You don't need to stick to it!"

"Yes I do!"

"Why!"

"Because….because to many people will get hurt!"

"Like who?"

"My parents, her parents, her, Jill, Amy!" Chandler listed. "Me!"

Ross was quiet for a minute. "What if you don't… what if everything works out fine."

"Well, it won't will it?"

"How do you know that?" Ross questioned. "Chandler, you've got three sisters who would all probably love a big brother to look after them…"

"And what are they going to say when they find out what their parents did?"

"They have a right to know, if they can't forgive them for it then maybe they don't deserve forgiveness…" Ross replied. "Anyway, I thought you didn't care about them?"

"I don't, I care about Rachel…and Jill and Amy, even though I've never meet them…" He sighed quietly. "I've seen Rachel with her Dad, I've seen how close they are….Why mess with a relationship like that?

"What about having a relationships with siblings…. that's a pretty close relationship."

"You don't get it, do you!" He said frustrated. "They find out who I really am, then I could end up losing everything!"

"No you won't…"

"She'll hate her parents for lying, she'll hate me for lying…my parents are already scared I'll ditch them for them…. It's…its just to much to risk."

"Chandler, it might not work out like that…" Ross said softly.

He shook his head slightly, telling him, he wasn't going to change his mind. "At least this way, I'm part of their lives… even if it is just as a friend."

Ross sighed in defeat but before he could say anything Joey came bursting through the door.

"Quick, you've got to see this!" He told them. "Rachel throwing his stuff of the balcony."

Ross and Chandler glanced at each other before following Joey back into the girls' apartment where Monica and Phoebe were trying to discretely look out the window at Rachel and Paolo.

"How's it going?"

"I think we can safely say their over…" Monica commented, just as Paolo climbed back in, leaving Rachel stood out there alone.

Chandler took no notice on him, he continue to stare at Rachel's back as she hugged her arms around herself tightly looking out onto the New York skyline. His little sister was hurting and he needed to do something about it.

He shook his head. No, not sister! Friend!

He retuned his attention back to his friends, just as Ross was slamming the door in Paolo face.

"You think someone should go out there?" Joey gestured towards the balcony.

"Uh, yeah sure…" Monica and Phoebe quickly moved towards the window before Ross stood them.

"Maybe…maybe Chandler should go?"

"What?" Chandler's head snapped up to look at him warningly

"Why Chandler?" Monica asked, looking at him quickly before back to her brother.

"Uh, well because he's a guy…." Ross stumbled for an excuse. "And uh, he knows what its like."

"He does?"

"I do?"

"Sure, remember…remember in college…" Ross started. "Remember your girlfriend made a pass at me and I…uh…I had to tell you…remember?"

Chandler glared at him, knowing what he was up to. "Oh yeah, how can I forget that!"

The other three looked from one of them to the other, unsure what was going on.

"Oh!" Phoebe guessed that Ross knew about Chandler's feelings for Rachel and wanted him to go out there to comfort her.

"Pheebs?" Monica looked at her curiously.

"Maybe it would help her if Chandler went out there…. y'know he's a guy…" Phoebe commented. "He can show her that not all guys are like that and that Paolo isn't worth it."

They all stared at her and both Monica and Joey finally caught onto her hint.

"Yeah, maybe that would be best…" Monica reluctantly agreed, trying to ignore the jealousy she was feeling.

"Okay, then off you go…" Phoebe pushed Chandler towards the window.

"Fine…" He sighed, sending Ross an unhappy glare.

"What are you doing?" Joey pulled Ross aside. "It should be you out there! He's going to swoop in and take her!"

"No, he's not…" Ross shook his head.

"Ross, I'm telling you, he likes her!"

"He doesn't…" Ross stated. "He's got his eye on someone else…"

Joey looked at him confused for a moment before following his glaze to Monica.

"Monica!" He exclaimed.

"Yeah?" She looked over at them.

"Uh, nothing…" He smiled innocently, causing her to frown slightly before going back to her conversation. "He likes her!"

"Well, I think so…" Ross replied. "He won't admit it but I can see he does."

"Wow…" Joey replied stunned. "So, uh why did you send him out there to the women you love?

"Because he'll be able to help her…"

"If you say so…" Joey shook his head and walked away.

Ross sighed and glanced out onto the balcony, he was hoping Chandler helping Rachel with her problem would convince him to tell her the truth, he knew deep down it was what he wanted.

Rachel gave Chandler a sideward glance, he had stood there, leaning on the wall of balcony next to her for 2 minutes and still hadn't said a word.

Chandler continued to stare ahead of him, trying to work out what to say to her. He couldn't believe Ross did this to him.

"Just give us the word and me, Ross and Joe will go and knock some scene into him…" He finally managed to break the silence.

Rachel looked at him again, surprised by what he said but smiled, thinking it was one of his jokes.

"Now that would be fun to see…"

"I'm serious…" He told her.

"What?" She looked at him. "No, Chandler! I don't want you guys to get into trouble!"

He shrugged. "Okay, want me to call immigration instead?"

She let out a laugh. "No, I don't want you to anything….I'll be okay."

"Well, okay if you're sure…" Chandler replied, not sure what else to say.

"I am…" She gave him a small smile. "So, you got the short straw then…"

"Actually they thought I'd be the best person for you to talk to…"

"Oh really? Why?"

"I dunno, something about me knowing what its like and be able to show you not all guys are jerks…" He told her.

"I know not all guys are jerks…" She stated. "You three guys have helped me out a lot…"

"Monica made us…" He teased, causing her to laugh slightly. "Hey, I got you to smile!"

"Yeah, I guess you were the right man for the job…" She remarked a few tears forming in her eyes. "I can't believe how stupid I've been…"

"Oh, come here…" He said softly, pulling her into his arms. "You weren't stupid…he is…"

"Why would someone do something like that?" She whispered. "And with my friend."

"I don't know, Rach…" He sighed. "But he's not worth it…you're going to find an amazing guy who will love you and never do anything to hurt you…"

"No, I'm not because I'm swearing off guys!"

"What?" He pulled back slightly and looked at her. "Don't do that just because of one jerk…"

"I'm not doing because of one jerk…" She told him. "It was the same with Barry, I just don't want to go through that again…."

"Well, maybe when you stop looking for love, it will come and find you…"

She was quite for a while. "Yeah, maybe you're right…"

"You know, one day you'll find the right guy for you and everything is going to perfect…"

"I hope so.." She smiled at him. "You really did know what to say…"

"I just said what I felt…" He shrugged, looking down at the ground.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Have you ever been in love?"

"What?" He let out a small laugh.

"Have you ever been in love…y'know proper love, the love that you know will last forever…"

"Uh…I…I don't really know…" He shrugged, seeking a glance at their friends in the apartment, his eyes lingering on Monica for longer then they should have.

"You don't know?" She frowned, not catching him glance.

"Well, maybe…. Maybe I found have been if I would have let myself fall…"

"What does that mean?"

"It means I got scared of what I was feeling so ignored them…" He translated with a small smile.

"Well, maybe its not to late…" Rachel told him. "Maybe you can still tell her."

"Yeah, maybe…" He smiled. "But not just yet…"

"Why not!"

"Well, there's a lot of the stuff happening in my life at the moment…" He explained. "I just don't think it would be fair to her…"

"Maybe she could help you through it…"

"She is…" He smiled. "She knows a lot of whats happening… and she's being my friend…and anyway I still don't know how she feels about me."

"Well, you'll never know until you say something…" She said before heading towards the window. "Come on, let's all watch a movie or something…"

"Yeah…" He said quietly, thinking about what she said before realising he was alone, he shook his head before climbing back inside to join the others….

XxXxX

It had been 3 weeks since Rachel and Paolo broke up and everything seemed to going well. Ross was excited about his baby, which even took his mind off the crush he had on Rachel, much to Chandler's relief. Rachel was looking for a job that was more challenging then surviving coffee while Joey and Phoebe were the same as normal. Monica and him were as close as ever, always hanging out, talking and just having fun. While Ross was still trying to convince Chandler to tell Rachel the truth about who he was, he found it easier to be around her. Even though he still acted more protective then he use, he was able to move past it all and concentrate on being her friend.

Everything was going great until one night, Rachel retuned from spending the day with her parents….

"Rach, honey... are you okay?" Monica asked, after they all had finished dinner and now were sitting around talking, when she noticed Rachel had hardly said a word.

"Uh, yeah sure…"

"What's going on?"

"I uh…I think my parents are breaking up…" She said slowly.

"What!"

"Why would you think that?" Ross asked.

"Well, they kept fighting…" Rachel told them. "And then when we all left the room, they start fighting again about some guy called Alexander James…"

Chandler looked up at her, frowning slightly.

"You don't remember anyone called that when we were growing up, did you?" She asked Ross and Monica, they both shook their heads.

"Who is he?" Phoebe asked.

"I don't know…My Mom kept saying she wished she stayed with him and that she knew what he was like now…" She sighed loudly. "And my Dad, kept saying it's been over 20 years…that he wouldn't care anymore…"

"I'm sorry, Rach…" Monica said sympathetically.

"Maybe its not what you think…" Joey said.

"Yeah…" She looked at Chandler. "What was it like when your parents first started to break up?"

"Uh, well I don't really remember…" He looked down. "I spent a lot of the time trying to ignore…it guess it worked…."

"Well, your Dad cheated on your Mom, right…" She continued, unaware how uncomfortable he was. "Did you notice before or anything?"

"Walking in on him and the pool boy was a big hint…" He tried to joke.

"Oh…" She frowned slightly, unsure what to believe about her parents now.

"Look, Rach my parents would have never worked, they never loved each other…" He told her. "If your parents do, then they should be fine…"

"But what about this guy?" She questioned.

"I bet he's not who you think he is…" Chandler told her. "I bet he just some distant relative or something…"

"I hope so…"

"Well, I better get going…" He said standing up.

"What? Why?" Monica asked, looking at him.

"I've got a early start tomorrow and I'm quite tried, so…" He gave her a small smile. "I'll see you in the morning…"

Ross frowned, watching him leave as the others called various goodnights to him.

"You don't think I upset him, do you?" Rachel asked, once he had closed the door behind him.

"Nah, I'm sure, he'll be okay…" Ross told her. "But I'm going to check on him."

He left the apartment and walked into the guys' to find him pacing around the room.

"Chandler, what was that about?" Ross asked. "Did you know that guy or something?"

"Yeah, kind of…" He said quietly, looking up at him. "That's me…."

TBC

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