My bedroom door handle wasn't warm when I grabbed it. Keeping my pillow pressed against my face, I squinted to try and make out anything downstairs but flames made it an impossible task: they had consumed the front hall, crept up a quarter of the stairs and scorched the walls.

Joe stirred when I slammed the door. I crouched beside him and said in a calm voice "There's a fire downstairs. Take my phone," I pressed it into his palm. "and call nine-one-one. Tell them my address and that we can't get to the door. Can you do that?"

He nodded – beautiful brown eyes widened by terror and a touch of childish excitement – and repeated everything back to me. When he had the phone to his ear I moved to the other side of the room. The carpet beneath my feet was warm from the fire below. Stored on the top shelf of the wardrobe for nostalgia's sake was a coil of rope from my climbing endeavours. Keeping one ear on Joe's steady but scared voice, I cursed in spite of myself when I looked out the window: flames were escaping from the broken lounge window and licking the wall below this one – we weren't getting out that way.

Joe listened while I instructed him to keep his pillow over his mouth and nose. The fire department were on their way but I had decided that if we stayed in that room then we wouldn't make it out. With the rope over my back and Joe in front of me I tapped him on the shoulder once…twice…three times then jerked the door open. The heat had doubled in intensity and the fire had devoured its way two thirds of the way up the stairs; snakes of a brilliant orange were striking out at our feet as we propelled ourselves into the bathroom.

"Listen to me Joey," I began. Kneeling next to him, I started tying the rope just at his waist then looped it around both legs and secured it at his waist. "I need you to hold on here," I positioned his hands in front of him. "and not let go until your feet touch the ground."

The window opened outwards and I lifted Joe onto the sill, kissing his forehead before retreating back a few steps. "Hold on." I wrapped the other end of the rope around my foot once to secure it. "Now lean back a bit." When there was enough tension I said "Just walk down the wall Joe. You'll be okay, I've got you."

The heat from the hall had melted any excitement from his face; he was close to tears now. "Jessie." he cried, his chin quivering as his shoulders slipped out of my view. "You'll be fine." I soothed.

It took three-hundred-and-seventy-six seconds for Joe to reach the ground. With every minute my right hand became more raw and numb. Each second added heat and noise from the fire to the room. And the next moment always brought further certainty that I was going to die. I was coughing so hard that keeping a grip on the rope became a laborious task. Joe wouldn't be able to undo the knot I'd tied so climbing out was my only option and I knew I wouldn't be able to. I manoeuvred myself onto the counter and threw the rope down so Joe could move away.

"Stand as far away…from the…from the house as you can." I shouted down to him between coughs. "Use the phone to…call your dad – if he doesn't answer try Uncle…Frank – and tell him what's…going…on!"

"Okay!" he called back and I saw his figure retreat by the light from downstairs.

The cool night air didn't do much to abate the effect the smoke was having on me and it was difficult to get any as smoke was heading out the open window and contaminating it. I tried to gage the distance between the window and the ground to work out if I could lower myself down but thinking was becoming harder.

Distant sirens sounded as Joe shouted up to me "They didn't answer!" in a distraught voice.

"Help is…coming Joe. Go to the…front of the…the house."

The bathroom was indistinct now; smoke was pouring in from the gap above the door that I'd always put off fixing. I couldn't take two breaths without coughing and my head lolled to the side: I no longer had the strength to hold it up. I think I remember hearing Joe shouting before deeper male voices joined in but then nothing.

TmWtMwTmWtMw

Blue and red flashes decorated my vision. Everything sounded fuzzy. Something uncomfortable was covering my mouth and nose and a rough blanket covered my body. When I found the motivation to open my eyes I found a low ceiling above me with cupboards covering the wall. My observation only made it that far because a mass of blonde hair interrupted me.

"You're awake!" Joe exclaimed in relief and excitement.

I could only nod as he hugged me. A paramedic interjected at that point; she made me drink nearly two litres of water as she checked me over. The whole time I watched the fire crews bring the last of the blaze under control. The hazy sky was being touched by dawn and a light spray of rain was falling. I vacated the gurney when I was given the all clear – if I had any trouble breathing I was to go straight to hospital – and settled Joe on it, making him as comfortable as possible so he was soon asleep. Lyn, the paramedic, promised to keep an eye on him as I wandered towards what used to be my home.

Both lower front windows were smashed and had thick layers of soot surrounding them which headed upwards. The door was the worst. Now open, it was like a black hole. I couldn't make out anything inside; not the stairs or the hall or the window at the end. A fireman warned me to keep back and I numbly nodded, wrapping my arms around myself after wiping away a tear that had escaped.

"Jess? Jess!" I turned in time to make out Tuck's face before his shoulder was all I could see. "What happened? I had an alert put of your address ages ago and when I got a call…" he trailed off and hugged me tighter but I shoved him away.

"Where the hell where you?" I demanded. Unfortunately I sounded a lot less aggressive than I had intended to due to my hoarse voice but I continued anyway. "Where have you been for over twelve hours that you couldn't check your phone?"

"I…the fire was less than an hour ago. What are you talking about?" he said perplexed.

Instead of answering him I grabbed his shoulder and turned him to face the ambulance. "Your son. It's Friday…was Friday, you were supposed to pick him up from school! He could have been killed. Where have you been?"

"No." he breathed. "That was today: after my date with Lauren I was going to…" he rubbed his palm over his face. "but the apartment was flooded so I cancelled yesterday and…oh God, Joe."

Damn my feelings for him but my anger melted away. As I drew in a breath to say something comforting someone else shouted my name.

"Jessie, I'm so sorry I got here so late, I was…busy. What happened?" FDR said quickly as he hugged me. "A tranqu' dart, really Tuck?" he hissed over my shoulder.

"Wait, what?" I rasped, pushing him away.

It didn't take them long to shamefully admit the events of the last couple of days.

"What the…hell has gotten into the pair of you? Never mind, it's bloody Lauren." I said with contempt. "Do you have any idea how much this has affected the people around you? Do you see the damage this whole thing has done in in less than two weeks? It's like you don't care about anything anymore except who wins Lauren."

"Jessie you know how much you mean to me!" FDR insisted. "You're my little sister; we're the orphans that stick together."

My laugh – more of a sob if truth be told – turned into a coughing fit and I waved the guys away when the both took steps towards me.

"My parents didn't die you idiot!" I snapped. Upon reflection, this was a really bad way to tell them the truth. "They left me! Nana told me when I turned twenty-one. I'm not an orphan FDR, I'm just unwanted. I was born in Scotland, they were young…" Another coughing fit shook me. "They won the damn lottery and decided they wanted to travel rather than raise a kid so they…they left me with Nana and Grandpa with the paperwork sorted, the money to raise me and instructions for schools and stuff and took off! They haven't heard from them since. Your parents loved you FDR - you know that. You got to meet them, to know them; mine jumped at the first opportunity to get rid of me."

They took some time to process what I'd said and a realisation dawned on Tuck.

"When you turned twenty-one?" I nodded. "And you ran away to Scotland so your Nana phoned me and had me track you down. God, we never did figure out why you left." He ran his hand over his face – pain was written there and I could tell that he wanted to say something more or to hug and comfort me. I'd be lying if I say I didn't want that just as much.

"Jessie-" FDR started but I shook my head.

"No! I'm done with both of you! You knew how much I depended on you both for stability and you lose your heads over a woman. You let it corrode your friendship and you," I pointed at Tuck. "let Joe suffer for it. I'm through with it all…I'm just through."

As I walked passed them Tuck called after me, "Jess, where are you going to stay?"

"Grandpa's coming down to pick me up: he actually answers his phone." I told them without turning round.

Seeing that Joe was still asleep I walked around the ambulance and sank down onto the sidewalk. With tears of loss, abandonment and self-pity streaming down my face I sat in the rain until the old beige car showed up. Nana didn't talk to guys but came straight over to me. Clinging to her like I used to when I was a kid, I let her bundle me into the car.

I couldn't bring myself to look out the window and see the two men watching us drive away. The only thing I was sure of was that I'd never felt as alone and helpless since I was twenty-one: staying in a youth hostel in Scotland after finding out that my parents had abandoned me. But back then Tuck had found me, he'd saved me; this time he was the reason my heart was in tatters.

Sorry this one was so short.

As always:
Read, enjoy and…review?
Much love, apologies and thanks,
Liv.