Demons

Chapter four

After meeting Yugi in the park yesterday and revealing his secret to him, Ryou was filled with dread of seeing his friend again. At the moment, Ryou was sitting in his sofa holding a big pillow to his chest, biting on his lip as he always did when he was deep in thought or worried. Yugi was coming over soon but Ryou was not sure if he wanted to see him, right now he was thinking that he never wanted to see Yugi again. Not now when Yugi knew this about him. How should he act?! Would their friendship forevermore be filled with tension and weird, stiff conversations?!
Ryou buried his head into the pillow he was holding and squeezing his eyes shut. Trying to think of what to say to Yugi when he arrived, but he could not come up with anything. He desperately wanted to tell his friend everything, but did not have the guts. And he really did not want to dig up old wounds. He clearly remembered what happened to him in the past, and why he is the person he is today. But he did not want to try to remember, he wanted to pretend that everything was just a very bad dream and that nothing really happened.
Ryou sighed and squeezed his right arm with his left, as hard as he could. He had hurt himself half an hour ago, and now his arms were wearing twenty-four new cuts. He had done it to calm himself, stilling his inner turmoil. It did help, but now Ryou felt the anxiety sneaking up on him again.
Suddenly the doorbell rang, and Ryou jumped, lifting his head from the pillow with a start. His brown eyes widened. "Oh no, he's here already!" He stared at the door, like he was expecting Yugi to come in any second although it was locked. It rang again, and this time it was followed with a knock. Ryou did not move.

"Ryou-kun? It's me Yugi."

The white haired boy lowered his eyes to the pillow, but did not make any move to open the door.

"Ryou-kun, please open the door." Yugi pleaded though the wood.

Ryou took a deep breath and stood up; he slowly went to the door and laid his left hand on the handle and the other hand on the door lock. He hesitated.

"Ryou-kun… please."

Ryou frowned but opened the door with a click and then he slowly backed away, his hands shaking a little. The door began to open and revealed the three coloured haired boy, with a worried look on his face.

"Hi." Yugi said with a small smile, looking relieved. He stepped in and closed the door behind him.

Ryou did not meet his eyes. "Don't look at me like that, Yugi-kun."

Yugi frowned a little. "What?"

"Don't look at me with pity." He said irritated and finally looking up.

"I- I wasn't, I'm just worried about you, my friend."

"You don't have to be worried," He said and walked to the sofa he was sitting on just recently, "I'm quite fine actually." He finished and sat down.

Yugi walked after him and sat down on the other end of the sofa, facing him.

"I don't believe you, Ryou-kun. You can stop pretending. I know, remember?"

"I nearly wish you didn't." Ryou thought to himself.

A heavy silence fell; neither really knew what to say. Yugi tried several times to say something, but he never did. The way the short boy opened his mouth all the time, reminded Ryou of a fish. Finally, Yugi dared to break the silence.

"Ryou-kun…" He whispered, looking up at the boy on the other side of the sofa. "Why?"

Ryou twiddled with the end of his long white hair, not looking at his friend. "I don't think you really want to know…"

"Tell me." Yugi said.

"I- I… It's hard, Yugi. I never told anyone before!" Ryou said and buried his face in his hands.

"I know it must be hard, Ryou-kun. But you can trust me." Yugi said softly and watched as Ryou took a deep breath, looking terrified.

"It happened seven years ago… I was twelve." He began, his voice nearly breaking. "I… it happened so fast, and I didn't have the time to react!" He took a short pause. "I was walking home one late afternoon; it was January the 3rd … it was winter, cold and dark. S-suddenly… a large man showed up out of nowhere, he- he grabbed me. Lifting me up with one arm and covered my mouth with the other…" Tears were rolling down Ryou's cheeks now and he hugged his legs to his chest. "The man took me to his house that lay just there, and- and I was terrified!" Ryou sobbed. "He forced me down on the bed, and I- I remember that the sheets were reeking of sweat and of old man. I w-was begging him to let me go, I was crying and I t-told him I was only a child!" Ryou said with a pained voice. "He destroyed me, Yugi… again and again..." Ryou broke down at last, and he cried the way only a tormented soul could.

Yugi couldn't move, he was shocked by what Ryou just said. He was crying and did not want to believe the horrible thing that happened to his kind and innocent friend. He slowly moved towards Ryou and rapped his arms around him. He held him carefully like glass, afraid that his dear friend would break if he held him too tightly. He had no words now, what do you say to a friend who had been tormented so brutally and heartlessly?
Nearly three hours went by before Ryou said anything again. He lay with his head in Yugi's lap, a blanket wrapped around him.

"He threatened to kill me and my family if I told anyone." Ryou whispered, and Yugi looked at him. "He had thrown a very small amount of money on me afterwards… as some sort of payment for my innocence and childhood, I guess." Ryou sighed when Yugi started to stoke his hair in comfort. "I was ill for a week after that, and I barely spoke to anyone, not even to my twin sister, Amane." He took a short pause. "I felt… sullied, and I still do."

"Ryou…" Yugi began.

The white haired boy interrupted him. "I smelled his scent on me no matter how many times I bathed, and scrubbed my skin raw. He was groaning inside of my head and he was crawling under my skin, and I tried to cut him out… but he didn't go away." Ryou closed his eyes. "I made my first suicide attempt three weeks after the rape… but it failed. My sister broke into my locked bedroom and found me unconscious on the floor. I was bleeding heavily and I had swallowed all the pills I could find in the house…" Ryou opened his eyes again. "My parents tried to make me well, and the doctors and physiatrists tried to make me well… I pretended that I was feeling better and later they loosened their hold on me." Ryou frowned and tears started to appear in his eyes again.
"Three years after my rape… something else happened." He whispered, and Yugi had to lean down to hear what Ryou was saying. "My mom and Amane had been away shopping and on their way home, they…they collided with a truck and the driver was drunk." He sobbed quietly. "My mom died i- instantly they said, and Amane died a short while a- afterwards on the way to the hospital…" He turned around and pressed his face into Yugi's stomach.
All Yugi could do was to hold him again, trying to comfort him. He felt saddened for Ryou, but he also felt strong hatred for the men who ruined Ryou's life. Yugi also hated the fact that he was so helpless right now. He desperately wanted to take away Ryou's sorrows and make him happy and cheerful, but he had no idea how.
Yugi stroke his hand over the crying boy's hair. "I will make you well again." He said and hugged his friend. "I promise you that."

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