4
Fiara's words had gotten me excited. Too excited to focus my mind inward in meditation. All I could think of was the knowledge I would gain by communing with great Jedi who had gone before me. I remembered back to our first day at the Learning Center on Corellia and the busts and statues of the Jedi. I wondered which master I would be able to contact. Perhaps a Skywalker or Corran Horn, a native Corellian. I could picture their statues in my mind, and I focused on them, as if I thought I could call them to me without any training.
After a while, the images in my mind began to shift, and I heard the murmur of voices. The images came into better focus, and I saw Jedi I recognized from the gallery at the school. Before me stood Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin, Luke and Ben Skywalker, Yoda, Jaina Solo, and even Mace Windu. But they weren't in corporeal forms. They were Force ghosts. I remember being so ecstatic that I almost fell out of my somewhat meditative state. I yearned to learn whatever I could from them, because I was sure that the accidental link would be broken soon. To my astonishment, it stayed long enough for the masters to study my astral Force projection. One by one, they looked me over, sizing up my strengths and weaknesses. Yoda spoke first. "Much fear I sense in him. Secret Padawan he is." "He does fear the inevitable discovery and its consequences," Luke concurred. Jaina turned away, as if she were about to leave a room. "He is beyond my help," she said, and she faded away. Obi-Wan nodded. "I have already had my share of failed students," he said, with a sideways glance at Anakin, who was still examining my Force-self. Obi-Wan too turned and faded. Yoda watched him go, and with a forlorn look on his face, followed him. "No!" I called out. "Stay! Please! You have to teach me! Don't you see? I found you on my own! I'm worthy!" "No," Ben said. "You didn't find us. We came to you, because we heard how desperate you were to learn from us. But I think none of us shall come again. You are a Padawan riddled with risk of falling to the Dark Side. Already you have broken the Jedi Code many times. You've even taken a life," he continued, referring to the Ithorian. "At best," said Luke. "You will become a Gray Jedi. A maverick and a wild card." He and Ben faded. I called out again. "If you help me, I won't fall!" I cried. "Please," I whimpered, as I began to shed tears. I realized the old Jedi were just like the new. Bureaucrats to their very core. So set in their ways that they abandoned one of their own.
All except Anakin and Mace. They had both remained silent the entire time, simply taking in everything they could about me. And so it continued, until even Anakin whispered, with a touch of regret in his voice, "I'm sorry, Konrad." Then he faded, leaving me with Master Windu. Finally, he said "You know why they're leaving don't you?" "They think I'll fall," I said. "They think I have too much fear." "They know it," Master Windu replied.
I couldn't fathom that the vaunted Jedi masters of old would just abandon a Padawan to a fate they saw to be inevitable. "They speak of fear," I said. "But they leave and refuse to teach me because they are afraid. They're all afraid, every one of them, that I'll become a Sith." Master Windu looked down and allowed himself a smirk. "You're absolutely right," he said. "You may yet become a Sith, but you'll at least be a clever one." And he too turned. "WAIT!" I yelled, and he stopped. He turned back to me. "I know what it is to master one's inner darkness," he said. "And I would help you." "But?" I asked. He looked down again. "But I spent most of my life mastering my own. I don't know if I can teach you well enough." And he turned to leave again. "You don't know or you're afraid to find out?" I retorted. He turned back to me again. "Both," he said. "If it were one or the other, I wouldn't hesitate to help you. But as it is, I fear the form of Vaapad would be too much for you. But on the other hand, you might become as exceptional as I was. And the uncertainty combined with the fear is why I can't teach it to you." He turned away again. "Then I'll teach myself," I stated defiantly. He whirled back to face me. "Do you have any idea how dangerous that would be?" he asked. "Those are your options, Master Windu," I said calmly. "Either you teach me, or I go down that road on my own." Anger flashed across his face. "Who do you think you are, giving a Jedi Master an ultimatum like that?" he demanded. "What's your decision?" I pressed. He suppressed his anger and sighed. "Your master intends to teach you to commune with Jedi spirits," he said. "When you have mastered that technique sufficiently, contact me, and I will do my best to supplement your training." I smiled. "Thank you, Master Windu. You are truly better and nobler than the rest in my eyes," I said. "We'll see," he said, as he faded.
My eyes snapped open, and I found Fiara and Meena both near me, with worried looks on their faces. "Konrad," Meena said. "Are you alright? You were shouting in your meditation, and we couldn't bring you out of it." I realized I was sweating, and my hands were shaking uncontrollably. "Master," I said to Fiara. "I saw them. I saw the Jedi masters. I spoke to them." Fiara gasped. "But I haven't taught you to commune with them yet," she said. "I know," I replied. "They said they came to me." "You said you spoke to them," Meena said excitedly. "What did they say?" "I-I don't know," I lied. "I couldn't quite understand them."
After some time, I calmed down enough to engage in a sparring match with Meena. We made our way to the cargo hold, with Fiara behind us. I ignited my blade and assumed my opening stance. Meena flicked her blade on as well, and offered me a salute with it. "So you've decided to master the second form, Makashi," I said. "At least I've committed myself to a form," she said. "Because I hardly consider Niman to be a form. It's merely scraps of other forms jumbled together, resulting in the inevitable death of the non-committal practitioner." "That's quite the lecture, sister," I answered. "But we both know you chose Makashi in a misguided attempt to finally be my better in lightsaber to lightsaber combat. What will you do, I wonder, when you aren't facing off against a lightsaber?" Meena simply smirked and assumed the trademark Makashi opening stance, holding her blade with one hand, pointed down at her side, as she turned her sword-side to me.
She flashed forward at me, employing Makashi's signature elegant, fluid movements and blade manipulation. Despite the form of Soresu being developed to defend against blaster fire, I found it to be a very effective counter to my sister's Makashi. Makashi emphasized short, quick, surgical fencing strikes, while Soresu was, at its core, designed to be a fluid, close shield around the wielder, using quick, short strokes to parry blaster bolts. It was easily adapted to parry a blade, as Meena soon realized.
Fiara would call out questions and instructions from time to time from her seat on the cargo crates at the edge of the room.
We found ourselves dueling to a stalemate. Every opening left in my defense was quickly sealed off, but it left me little time to attack. Eventually, Meena tried to employ some strategy against me, by switching away from her preferred Makashi and utilizing what little Ataru she knew. Both forms suited her well, as she was naturally quick and agile, perfectly able to master Makashi's elegance and Ataru's agility.
By using Ataru, she hoped to extend her reach inside of my Soresu guard, which she might have, had I not suddenly begun to use Ataru as well. It must have been entertaining to watch, what with my sister and I engaging in an almost dance-like duel. For every flipping strike, there was a spinning parry, for every acrobatic slash, an equally impressive dodge.
Finally, we crossed sabers in the middle of the room. Both of us used our wide base to put every ounce of strength into overpowering the other. I could feel myself slipping ever so slightly backward and realized how much energy I had used during that day. The duel with Fiara had taken quite a bit, and so had my meditation. But this duel had taken the most out of me. The sheer focus required to use Soresu effectively, followed by the physicality of Ataru had all but drained me. This had to be the endgame, and I was no longer going to throw duels to Meena. I pushed her backward with a Force Push, which achieved the desired effect. Meena staggered backward, still on her feet, but now startled and momentarily disoriented. I lunged forward and swung my blade down with both hands. It hit Meena's with a crackle, and she dropped her blade. I called it to me with the Force. She stood at the point of the purple blade, panting, her brown hair wet with perspiration. "I yield," she muttered. I switched my blade off and tossed her blade back to her. Fiara came over, clapping her hands. "Excellent display, both of you. Not only did you display solid fundamentals, you elaborated on your forms as well, rather than simply using rote techniques." She looked at Meena. "Your Makashi is coming along nicely Meena," she said. "But your brother has taught you something very valuable today. Every form is weak to at least one other form's application, be it orthodox, or, in Konrad's case, unorthodox." She looked at me. "Magnificent, Konrad. You adapted well throughout the duel. And your coups-de-grace was very nice as well. But I was disappointed to see that you didn't use the Saber Throw." I smiled. "I don't think I'll be using that technique again until I've gotten much better at it. "Where did you learn of it?" Fiara asked. "I saw the swordmaster and a visiting Jedi practicing it once, during the waiting," I said. "So I watched them and listened. Then I practiced it on my own." "Well," Fiara said. "I've seen it used very effectively. I wouldn't give up on it so lightly. Especially since you merely need to fine-tune it."
We spent the rest of our journey training in both the physical and metaphysical aspects of the Force. We came out of hyperspace in the near Hoth and got busy packing our kits. They consisted of thermally insulated clothes and various other supplies to counter the harsh environment of Hoth.
We made planet-fall a short time later, and after completing the necessary procedures at the spaceport, we donned our new clothing and set out to meet Fiara's contact in the colony. I had made sure my borrowed lightsaber was hidden by my attire, yet easily accessible. Fiara had secured a blaster pistol for me to keep up my façade as a distant relation of hers that she had called in for the mission. I kept it holstered at my hip, hoping I wouldn't ever have to use it in front of anyone. I had never used one before, and I didn't want to be out fighting Wampas with one or more locals in tow, where I'd be forced to use the pistol instead of the lightsaber.
We found our way to the contact, Dax LeCharde, who was a man who had been living in the colony his whole life. I think he was a mayor or some sort of elder. Whoever he was, he had the details of our mission. He lived in a little hab-unit toward the middle of the town that was painted a bright purple, presumably to stand out from the snow. We found the door slightly open, and Fiara stepped cautiously inside. No one in their right mind lives on Hoth and keeps their door open, I thought. Fiara whispered to us to enter quietly and be on our guard. We crept in slowly and quietly, shutting the door behind us. All the lights were on in the domicile and either the man was very messy, or there had been a struggle here. Fiara took out her lightsaber and turned the blade on. Meena and I followed suit. After searching the home for a while and finding nothing and no one, we decided to leave and come back another time. But I could tell Fiara still thought something was wrong. I felt it too. The door just made no sense. It would have been closed, I thought.
I saw Meena trip over something as we left. She had gotten her foot caught in some sort of metal circle, like a door-knocker on the floor. I pulled on it, and a section of the floor lifted up on hinges. I couldn't see for the darkness, so I stuck my lightsaber blade down through the opening. "There are stairs," I said. "There's a basement." Fiara came over and led us down the stairs. I heard Fiara gasp before I got to the bottom, so I jumped the last few. Illuminated by the light of Fiara's blade was Dax LeCharde. He was slumped over at a desk, with a lightsaber stab wound in his torso.