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"Can I help?" Lorelai asked as she leaned against the counter in Luke's apartment, a glass of wine cradled in her hand.
Luke looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "Is this a real offer or are you going to tell me you've been diagnosed carpal tunnel again?" he asked.
"I'm just trying to be interested in the things you're interested in," Lorelai explained. "I can't help it if I'm not good at those things."
Luke could see she was making a real effort to fix what had been a sore spot between the two of them in the past and nodded. "Want to peel the potatoes?" he asked.
"Sure," she nodded. "Show me how?"
"I've already shown you how."
"I know, I just like how you show me," Lorelai said. "Forget pottery, they should have had a cooking lesson in Ghost."
Wanting to humor her and also wanting to be closer to her, Luke wordlessly turned down the temperature on the stove, reached for a potato peeler and the bowl of potatoes and turned to Lorelai. "Ready?" he asked.
She nodded and took the peeler and a potato out of his hand. As she turned to the sink, he placed the bowl on the kitchen table and stepped directly behind her. He could feel her body become more alert as he rested his hands on top of hers, gently gliding the peeler of the potato and dropping the skins into the sink. She sighed in pleasure, and murmured, "If all school was like this I never would have dropped out."
He dropped his hands to her waist and pressed a kiss to her neck, his breath hot against her ear. "I'll give you a thorough report on your progress later," he breathed.
Lorelai felt her heart rate speed up, and just as she was about to abandon the potatoes, Luke's phone rang. "Keep peeling," he pressed one more kiss to the back of her head before he went to answer the phone.
"Hey April!...how was your day?"
Lorelai sighed and continued to peel the potatoes as she listened to Luke's side of the conversation with his daughter. She had to admit, it was heartwarming. Luke obviously cherished his role as a father, and she'd never have thought she'd seen him wearing bracelets or discussing Harry Potter books. Even now as he talked over the phone, she could hear the pride and genuine interest in April that she'd never heard from him before. Maybe a touch with Rory, who he loved like his own, but had always had that line he couldn't entirely cross. Probably because she'd been standing in the way, but she was trying to work past that.
"Yeah, she's here, we're about to start dinner."
Lorelai looked up, wondering what April had asked. They were obviously talking about her now.
"We'll see if we can do that, I'll have to check with her though…I'm sure she'd love that…yeah, hang on."
Luke turned to her and held the phone out. "She wants to talk to you," he said.
Lorelai froze, then turned to look at him with uncertainty written across her features. "Are you sure?" she asked.
"Yeah," he said. "She won't bite, she likes you."
"It's not her I'm worried about," Lorelai replied, dropping the peeler into the sink and washing her hands.
"Hey," he said, resting a hand on her shoulder. "It's fine. I want you to talk to her."
Still not entirely sure, Lorelai took the phone hesitantly. Her face was filled with nerves and tension, but Luke was amazed to hear her normal, chipper tone when she spoke. "Hi, April!"
"Hey, Lorelai!" her voice came across the end of the line. "I'm so glad you're there and working things out with Dad!"
It was the first time Lorelai had heard him addressed as such, and she couldn't help but smile at the sight of Luke, who'd gone back to his cooking. He really was succeeding at this teenage daughter thing.
"Well, we're working things out," Lorelai said. "Hey, how's your camp?"
"It's great!" April exclaimed. "We went on this field trip to the Boston Museum of Science today, and they explained their new exhibit on genetic testing of prehistoric remains to find connections to homo sapiens."
"Wow, that sounds…fun," Lorelai hoped that was the right adjective.
"So I was just telling Dad that we should all go on a boat trip," April said. "I know it was just supposed to be me and him, but now that you're back together you should come too."
"Oh, honey, that's really sweet of you," Lorelai said. "But I think your dad was hoping to spend some time alone with you."
"Oh," April's voice sounded dejected. "Okay."
"But we'll find something else to do," Lorelai said quickly. "You'll be here for two weeks, right?"
"Yeah," April said.
"Well, maybe the three of us could check out the new park in Litchfield," she suggested. "They have all sorts of activities, mini golf and stuff like that."
"That would be fun," April giggled. "I can't wait to see Dad playing mini golf."
"Well, if it's anything like when he plays regular golf, we'll need to make sure to spoil him that night," Lorelai replied. "And hey…" She paused for a moment, looking at Luke before she took a leap of faith. "Maybe you and I could go get our nails done or something. Leave the manly man to sort his tools."
Luke turned to glare at her, but she could see the smile threatening to work its way forward.
"That would be so much fun!" April exclaimed. "I've never had a manicure before, my mom always said they're not necessary."
"Oh," Lorelai said, suddenly remembering that there was a mom very much involved in this picture. A mom who hated her. She'd have to think of some Anna approved girly activities to take part in with April. "Well, we can figure out something else."
"Thanks, Lorelai, I can't wait!" April said excitedly. "Listen, I have to go because they're talking to us about the pros and cons of genetic modification of different plant species during dinner tonight."
"Okay, well, uh…bon appetite," Lorelai said.
"Lorelai?" April said, her voice somewhat unsure.
"Yeah?"
"I'm really glad you're back," April said. "Dad seems happy."
Lorelai smiled as she looked at Luke. "I think he is, sweetie," she said.
"Bye, Lorelai!"
"Bye." Lorelai hung up the phone and placed it on the table before she moved to Luke, wrapping her arms around his stomach from behind. "That's one great kid you've got there," she murmured into his ear.
Luke shrugged. "Doesn't have much to do with me," he said.
"I disagree," Lorelai murmured. "She worships you, Luke. I could tell just from that one conversation."
"She's pretty special all on her own," Luke said proudly.
Lorelai squeezed him one more time before she stated, "I think it's in the DNA."
"Did she ask you about the boat trip?" he asked curiously as she resumed her task of peeling potatoes.
"Oh," Lorelai said. "Um, yeah, but I told her you probably wanted that to just be the two of you."
"You can come if you want," Luke said. "It's not going to be the big trip I was planning, just a night or two."
She smiled appreciatively. "I love that you're including me, Luke, I really do," she said. "But you guys need some time to yourselves. I get that. As long as I'm let in some of the time I'll be fine."
He nodded. "I know," he said.
"And I kind of suggested to April that maybe she and I could spend some time together," Lorelai said hesitantly. "If it's okay with you."
Luke nodded. "Yeah, I think it's great," he said. "I mean, you're going to be her stepmother, you need to…" He froze as he realized what he'd said.
"It's okay, Luke," she said. "We're still in this weird, really happy, but still have things to figure out bubble. We both know where we want this to end up."
"I know," he sighed. "It's just so easy to think things are how they were."
"They're not," Lorelai said, turning to him. "They're better."
Luke considered that for a moment. "Yeah, I guess they are," he said.
"Look," she said, holding out a potato to him. "How'd I do?"
He offered her a warm smile as he examined the potato, then met her gaze. "Amazing," he told her.
"Really?" she cried happily.
"Really," he confirmed.
Lorelai smiled proudly. "I did have a good teacher," she relented.
"Make sure you thank him properly."
"I will be sure to do that." She washed her hands and then reached for her wine. "So it sounds like Anna has some pretty strong opinions about what activities April does or does not partake in."
"What do you mean?" Luke asked.
"Well, when I suggested we go for manicures April said her mom thinks they're not necessary," Lorelai said. "And while I do want to have fun with April and tarnish that whole evil stepmom stereotype that I refuse to be part of, I don't want to do it by helping April do the things Anna won't let her do."
"That's a fair point," Luke said.
"I mean, it's a tale as old as time, right?" Lorelai said. "The mom gets jealous because the stepmom does the fun stuff while the mom gets stuck with the everyday. That's not fair to Anna."
"You're right," he said, reaching for his beer and turning to look at Lorelai. "I'm trying here, Lorelai."
"I know you are, I'm not saying you're not," she said quickly. "But Christopher wasn't ever involved in Rory's upbringing. He never even had any legal rights to her. This whole co parenting thing is completely foreign to me too."
"I guess I'll have to call Anna," Luke said, pinching the bridge of his nose. He knew she was going through a lot, but the woman he'd dated years ago was very different than the one she'd become.
"I'm not trying to tell you what to do," Lorelai said. "I'm in the backseat, I get it. You and Anna call the shots. But I just think the three of us should at least be on the same page about where boundaries are for April. Especially now that she's a teenager and we're going to be facing things like curfews and driving."
"I'll call her this week," Luke promised.
Fear flashed in Lorelai's eyes as she nodded. "Okay," she said.
Luke reached out and pulled her closer. "It'll be okay," he promised. "I've grown a lot, I've learned a lot. I'm not going to let her push me around like I did last time."
"Okay," Lorelai said. "I want to believe you, Luke, I really do. And I believe that you're trying. I think, maybe, it's just going to take time for me to really know it."
"I've got time," Luke promised.
"And wine?" Lorelai asked, holding her empty glass up to him.
"And wine," he confirmed. "You staying over?"
"Why, you need me out of here before the strippers get here?" Lorelai teased.
"No, I need to know when to switch you to coffee if you're going to be driving," Luke replied as he refilled her glass.
"Leave the bottle, mister, I'm not going anywhere," Lorelai said.
Luke obliged by filling her glass more than he usually would have.
"Trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me?" she asked.
"Nah, I like my women caffeinated, not intoxicated."
She laughed. "How about a little of both?" she asked.
"Throw in some crazy and she's the perfect woman," Luke replied.
"Why, Luke Danes, who would have thought you'd be such a smooth talker with the ladies?"
"They didn't call me Butch for nothing," Luke informed her.
"Hey, did you have a letterman jacket?" Lorelai asked.
"Yeah, why?"
"Nothing, just trying to picture it," Lorelai said. "The All American Luke Danes, all the guys wanted to be him, all the girls wanted to be with him. Heads turned as he walked down the hall. Crowds parted in order to make room for his looming presence."
"It wasn't like that," he said.
"Really?" she asked.
"Nah, I just stuck to my own group of friends," Luke shrugged. "And Rachel and I went out for most of high school, so girls weren't interested."
"It was probably more because they knew you were taken," Lorelai pointed out.
He shrugged. "Whatever," he said. "You couldn't pay me enough to go back."
"Me neither," Lorelai said. "Who would have thought, Stars Hollow's athlete of the year would have ended up with Hartford's scandal girl."
Luke offered her a sympathetic smile. "It must have been hard," he said softly. "Kids can be cruel."
"It wasn't so bad," Lorelai said. "I mean, thank god for the baggy sweaters from the eighties. But by the time junior year started Rory was pretty well defined. I kept going to prove a point."
"That is not surprising," he said.
"And there was this one girl, Missy Tompkins, who kept spraying this really potent cleaning solution on my locker because she knew it made me sick," Lorelai said. "But then I puked on the floor in front of her locker to get her back."
"Again, not surprising," he laughed. "You're amazing, you know that?"
"For puking in front of Missy Tompkins' locker?" Lorelai asked.
"No," he laughed. "For having a kid so young. And not only that, but doing it on your own and still going to school, no matter what people thought of you. Raising Rory when you had nothing to start with. The Dragonfly. Giving me another chance. Wanting a relationship with April, and willingly participating in her upbringing after what I put you through. And to still be here, sitting with me, flirting and smiling, you're just…amazing."
Lorelai smiled self consciously. "We both know I've had my moments," she said.
"Yeah, but I guess I never really thought about everything you went through as a teenager," Luke said. "Going to school pregnant and growing up overnight must have been so overwhelming."
"You know something about growing up quickly," Lorelai said softly.
"Yeah, I guess I do," Luke said, sitting down at the table and placing a plate in front of them.
"As much as my parents drive me crazy, they've always been there for Rory," Lorelai tested the waters. "It must be hard, with April."
"It is," he nodded. "And with you. They would have loved you."
"I hope so," Lorelai whispered.
"My mom was a lot like you," he offered.
Lorelai smiled curiously. Luke had rarely shared information about his mother with her, and she didn't want to push it too far. "So she was exceptionally beautiful and loved by all."
"She was," he laughed. "She could make me smile. And when something was bugging me she wouldn't stop talking until I talked to her about it. She loved movies. I remember her and my dad, every Saturday night, would go to the movies, just the two of them. On Sunday mornings we'd get the complete Victoria Danes analysis of whatever we'd seen the night before. Not that I cared, but that didn't seem to stop her."
Lorelai tilted her head to the side. "You never told me your mom's name was Victoria," she said.
He shrugged. "I guess it just never came up," he said.
"My middle name is Victoria," she said.
"I know. Talk about coincidence, huh?"
"Yeah," Lorelai said, biting into her dinner.
"I always thought if I ever had a daughter, that's what I would name her," Luke said. "I don't know, maybe that's cheesy…"
"It's not," Lorelai assured him. "It's a beautiful name, in my very unbiased opinion."
He smiled and shook his head. "Well, it's a moot point now," he shrugged. "April doesn't really look like a Victoria."
"No, she doesn't," Lorelai agreed. She pushed her chicken around her plate for a moment before she almost whispered, "Maybe someday there will be another Victoria Danes."
Luke looked up at her with a small smile on his face. "Maybe," he said, his eyes holding her gaze.
"Hopefully."
"Hopefully," he nodded in agreement.
They smiled at each other for a long moment before she looked around the apartment. "So what are the chances of you modeling your letterman jacket for me tonight?" she asked, trying to lighten the mood.
"None."
"Come on, Butch," she said in a singsong voice. "It would just mean the world to me to wear your jacket."
"Eat your dinner."
"You gave me your pin," Lorelai continued, batting her eyelashes at him. "Will you go steady with me?"
"If you don't stop right now I won't make you coffee in the morning."
"Fine, mood killer," Lorelai sighed.
"Thank you."
"So onto more important things," Lorelai said. "Mini golf."
"Mini golf?"
"Mini golf," Lorelai confirmed.
"Since when is mini golf an important topic?" he asked.
"Since your daughter and I decided it would be a nice outing for the three of us," Lorelai said. "Now, Luke, I know that you may have some PTSD issues when it comes to golf. But April will be there, so you're going to have to keep the cursing and the scotch consumption to a minimum."
"Well, your father won't be there, so that shouldn't be a problem."
"I'm sure you could speak about the Greeks," Lorelai said. "April would probably appreciate that, but it would probably be a lateral move since I would begin drinking at that point."
"How about we start our own golf traditions?" Luke suggested.
"That sounds nice," Lorelai said. "You might have outdone yourself this time, Cool Hand. This chicken pesto is outstanding."
"I'm glad you like it."
"Where'd you find the recipe?"
"I made it up," he shrugged.
"You made it up?" she asked, incredulous.
"Yeah, it's no big deal."
"Wow, I wish I could do that," Lorelai said. "Unless there are Pop Tarts or frosting involved, I'm pretty much tapped out. Hey, do you think now that I can peel a potato I can make up a real recipe?"
"Why don't we move on to carrot peeling and see where that takes us?" he suggested.
"As long as you use the hands on approach I think it will take us very far," she confirmed.
XXXXX
"Okay, we've got half an hour before we have to leave, which means I can get at least three cups of…" Lorelai's voice trailed off as she waltzed into the diner and realized that Luke was not anywhere to be seen. "Where are you?"
"Luke left an hour ago," Kirk reported from the counter.
"He left?" Lorelai repeated. "Where did he go?"
"He didn't disclose the location to me, but I presume it was somewhere relatively important," Kirk reported. "Luke is not known to leave the diner unless it is relatively important. Or unless he's going to see you. But as you can plainly see, Luke is not with you, so therefore it must have been a relatively important matter."
"Thanks, Kirk," Lorelai said slowly. She dropped her purse on the counter and pulled out her cell phone, frowning at the lack of messages. She and Luke were supposed to drive to therapy together, but she also knew that they were planning on discussing April today. If he'd left, maybe he'd gotten scared of the whole situation. She'd thought they'd made progress, but maybe she'd pushed too far after taking to April on the phone the night before.
She moved around the counter and poured herself a cup of coffee into a to go cup, not paying attention to the world around her. She sipped the coffee slowly, sputtering when she felt a familiar hand on her shoulder, tugging her out from behind the counter.
"Jeez, Lorelai, didn't you hear me?" Luke asked, having materialized out of nowhere.
"Please, if a bag of flour squashes me like a bug you'd miss me too much to care what the insurance company says," Lorelai replied.
"Well, stay out from behind the counter and you won't be attacked by falling bags of flour," Luke said. "You ready to go?"
"Yeah," Lorelai said, following him out to his truck. "Hey, where were you?" she asked when he'd merged onto the highway.
"What?"
"When I got to the diner, where were you?" she asked.
"Oh, Liz had a question about something important, so I stopped by her place," Luke replied.
"Is everything okay?" Lorelai asked.
"Well, with the exception of TJ explaining to me in great detail how they're trying to have another kid, everything's fine," Luke said.
Lorelai raised her eyebrows. "Another kid?" she asked. "Wow."
"Yeah, Liz keeps yammering about her biological clock and fertility and a bunch of other stuff I don't want to know," he continued.
"Yeah, that clock is ticking," Lorelai murmured.
"You okay?" Luke asked, glancing over at her.
She flashed him a smile. "Yeah, just pre-Abby nerves."
"You sure?"
"Yeah," she said as he pulled into the parking lot and shut off the engine. "This is it, Luke. In there, today, we're going to face this last huge obstacle."
"I'm nervous too," he assured her.
She sighed and reached for the car door. "Let's just get it over with," she requested.
"Hey," Luke put a hand on top of hers and she looked at him expectantly. "I love you."
She smiled. "I love you too."
Ten minutes later, they were seated in Abby's office, and, having exchange pleasantries and updates about their week, were silent.
Finally, Abby noted, "It sounds like you guys have already started talking about how April is going to be involved in your future."
"We did," Lorelai said. "And I feel good about it."
"That's good," Abby said. "But maybe we should focus on how her appearance has affected the past."
Luke nodded and ran a hand over his hat.
"Lorelai?" Abby prompted.
Lorelai nodded and turned to look at Luke. "I want you to know," she said. "Before we start this, I know that none of this is April's fault. I like her, Luke, I really do, and I don't want anything I say to be interpreted otherwise."
He nodded. "I know," he said.
"Okay," Lorelai said. "I guess, just going back to the very beginning is the question of why you didn't tell me about her in the first place."
"Well, she came into the diner all demanding and rambling about DNA and science fairs," Luke said. "She pulled a hair off my head and then she was gone. But she'd told me who her mom was, and I figured…I don't know, I thought it was a possibility that she was my kid, but the Anna I had known would have told me. So I figured it wasn't necessary to tell you. But then I got curious, so I went to the science fair just to see what the results were."
"But Luke, I would have gone with you," Lorelai said. "You'd been there for me, so strong and supportive during the months when Rory was gone. I could have done that for you. I would have gone to that science fair with you so you wouldn't have had to do that on your own. It must have been so overwhelming."
"It was," Luke admitted. "But I think the way things were with Rory at the time may have been part of the reason I hid April."
Lorelai narrowed her eyes at him. "What?" she asked.
"You were so sad, Lorelai," he said. "And April came in and I just couldn't add any more stress to your life, not without being sure. By the time I was sure, Rory was back and you were spending so much time with her, I just didn't want to ruin that."
"It wouldn't have ruined it," Lorelai whispered. "Luke, this was a huge moment for you. We were going to get married, I was going to be your wife. When you agree to marry someone, you agree to tell them when you get huge, life altering news."
"I know, it was wrong," Luke said.
"But we worked past that," Lorelai said. "I had accepted it, and with April's birthday party there was a point in time where I thought it would all work out."
"Me too," he said, thinking back to that perfect day. Lorelai had saved the party, his daughter had been ecstatic, and he had been able to picture many, many more moments between the three of them like that.
"So what happened?" Lorelai asked.
"Well, Anna said that she wasn't exactly comfortable with April spending time with you," Luke murmured. "And at the time, I didn't have any paternal rights for April. I was scared that if I pushed back she'd take April away."
"So you pushed me away," Lorelai said. "Instead of explaining that and trying to fight for custody, you let her call the shots. I mean, for god's sake, Luke, you cancelled our wedding!"
"Postponed."
"Cancelled," Lorelai replied. "Postponed would have been, 'Hey, let's wait until August.'"
"You offered!"
"Because it was the only way to help!" Lorelai shouted. "I didn't know what else to do, Luke! Last time I tried to tell you how I felt you dumped me in the middle of the market. I couldn't push you, I was trying to give you time!"
"I know," Luke said. "I guess I was pretty self absorbed at that time."
Lorelai sighed. "Look, what's happened has happened," she said. "Maybe it was partially my fault, for letting it build up inside of me. But you should have been there, you should have noticed!"
"I'm sorry I didn't," Luke murmured. "I'm sorry I hid her, I'm sorry I pushed you away. I'm sorry for all of it."
"Thank you," Lorelai whispered. "I know you are."
Abby scooted forward in her seat. "I think there's another layer of this that we need to discuss," she said gently. "Looking into the future, I want you both to think about how you want Lorelai to be involved in April's life. Obviously her mom is going to have a major role in her life, but April is part of your family too. I want you to think about what that's going to look like, and how you're going to work as a team with Anna."
Lorelai swallowed hard as she turned to Luke. "Well, we kind of talked about this last night," she said. "And for me, I guess, I want to just be involved. I know that I won't have a say in things like custody arrangements or medical decisions or big things like that. But I do think that when April is staying with us, I should have some sort of presence and not just be the extra body in the room. And if April does come to me for advice about anything, which I hope eventually she'll be comfortable doing, I want to know that I can give it to her without having to ask you or Anna for permission. I get that she has two parents who love her and are there for her and are communicating about what's best for her. I'm glad of that, for her sake. I'm not trying to take Anna's place at all. I just think that we can find a way that I could have a role in April's life. Not just as your girlfriend or wife, but as a supplemental parental unit."
"That's fair," Luke said. "I want those things too. And in regards to Anna, I feel more comfortable talking to her about these things. Legally, she can't keep April from me, and now that I know what it's like to be without you, really be without you, I'm willing to fight her harder if I have to. I know April wants you to be part of her life. She adores you."
"Why do you think Anna's so hesitant to have April spend time around me?" Lorelai asked. "Did you ever figure out why?"
Luke sighed and leaned back in his seat. "No, I never got some confirmation," he said. "But I think she might have been threatened by you."
"Threatened by me?" Lorelai said. "Why?"
"Well, you're like the teenage whisperer and April kept going on and on about how great you are, and I think it may have made Anna a little jealous," Luke cleared his throat. "And I can kind of relate, because when I did see you start to spend time with April, I started to feel like maybe she'd eventually like you more than she liked me."
"What?" Lorelai asked. "Luke, you're her father."
"I know, but we both know that I'm not the most fun guy in the world," Luke said. "I was still getting to know April, and when I saw how you just effortlessly planned a perfect party at the last second and started chatting away with April, it felt like the two of you didn't even need me."
"I thought I was helping," she whispered.
"You were," Luke said. "But I just didn't want to get lost in the shuffle."
Lorelai sighed. "I raised a teenage girl, Luke. I was a teenage girl. That's all that was. I wanted to help you and make the day special for April. I was never trying to take anything away from you, or from Anna."
"I know that now," he said. "And I want you to have all of those things, really, I do. You're not just an extra person, Lorelai, for all intents and purposes you're her stepmother. That means something."
"Let's try to think of something else that doesn't involve the connotation that I have wrinkles on my face and a cauldron in the basement," Lorelai requested.
Luke smiled, but reached out to touch her knee. "We're good?" he asked.
"I want to be, Luke," she whispered. "And if it was just the two of us, I'd completely believe that we were ready to take each other's hands and jump off that cliff. But it's not just us."
"Anna," he said knowingly.
"Anna," Lorelai confirmed. "I don't know what I did or why she hates me or resents me. But we have to reach some sort of agreement with her. I can't be constantly second guessing myself whenever I interact with April. She has to accept this, Luke, because if she doesn't…"
Her voice trailed off and Luke frowned. "What?" he asked.
Tears filled Lorelai's eyes and she looked up at the ceiling to gather strength. "If Anna can't accept my presence in April's life then I have to walk away," she said, her voice shaking.
"What?" Luke asked. "No!"
"I do, Luke!" she insisted. "If it comes down to you choosing between me and April, I won't even make you choose. We both know that if you chose me over your daughter then you're not the kind of man I could be with anyway."
"No," Luke repeated, more forcefully this time. "You're not going to walk away, we're not going to let Anna ruin this. She has no say over who I decide to live my life with."
"She's April's mother, Luke," Lorelai said.
"And I'm her father," Luke replied. "I'll talk to her, we'll work this out. We're not letting this go, not this time. We haven't fought through everything just to let her stand in the way."
Lorelai crossed her arms over her chest. "I know you believe that," she said. "And I hope it works out that way. But I just can't be fully okay with it until I know where she stands."
Luke stared at her for a moment before he reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone.
"What are you doing?" Lorelai narrowed her eyes as he flipped it open.
"Calling Anna, right now," he said.
"Luke," Abby interjected. "That's a bit presumptive. Why don't you go home, take some time to process what you and Lorelai have talked about, and then call her when you're a little calmer."
Luke turned to look at Lorelai. "I want you to know," he said. "I want to make this better for you."
"I know you do," she murmured. "But Abby's right. Let's go home, and you can call her from there."
Luke looked at her carefully before he nodded. "Okay," he said. "I just…you have to know, Lorelai, I'll do everything I can to make this work. I'm not giving up this time."
She nodded sadly. "I know you won't," she said. "I just wish it was that simple."
"Why don't we end a little early today," Abby suggested. "I don't think much more is going to get accomplished until you've spoken with Anna."
Lorelai nodded as she stood, Luke rising beside her. "Thanks, Abby," she said.
"You guys are doing wonderfully," Abby said with a warm smile. "You've come a long way in the past month. Pretty soon you won't need me anymore."
Luke reached out to squeeze Lorelai's shoulder and she offered him a smile over her shoulder. "I hope not," she said, then frowned. "No offense."
"None taken" Abby walked them to the door. "Good luck, Luke."
As they walked towards the truck, Lorelai rested her head on Luke's shoulder. "We did that with minimal yelling," she observed.
"I deserved to be yelled at more," he murmured into her hair, his thumb rubbing her shoulder gently.
"I'm tired of yelling," Lorelai whispered. "I'm tired of straddling this line. I'm tired of waiting. If we're going to be together, I want to really be together. Dates, living together, really merging our lives this time."
"We'll do it," he promised.
"You don't know that."
"Hey," he turned her so she was facing him. "Don't do this. You're pulling back into yourself, and this time I won't let you. Just like I won't let Anna dictate my life."
"We're talking in circles here, Luke," she said. "Let's go, I have to check in at the inn."
He nodded and held the car door open for her. She climbed inside and buckled her seatbelt, not looking at him as he slid into his own seat. She was uncharacteristically silent as he drove, and when he pulled off the highway she murmured, "Can you take me to the inn?"
"Sure," he said, changing his course to maneuver the truck past the town square to the other side of town. When he pulled up the driveway, Lorelai had the car door open before he'd even stopped the car. "Hey," he called across the truck, and she turned to look at him, one foot already firmly planted on the ground. "It's going to be okay."
She nodded and then looked up at him with a smile, the fake one that he'd seen too much of in his lifetime. How had he ever fallen for that? "I'll have Sookie take me home," she said. "Bye."
"Lorelai," he called and she sighed before she turned to look at him again. "I love you."
Tears filled her eyes as she nodded. "I love you too," she whispered before slipping out of the truck and slamming the door behind her.
Luke watched her walk inside, wondering whether he should go after her or let her pull away. It wasn't unusual for her to contemplate their discussions on the ride home, but today something had been different. She was putting her walls back up, and he wanted nothing more than to break through them and make her talk.
But he also knew that Lorelai wasn't going to listen to rational thought until he talked to Anna. It wasn't a conversation he particularly wanted to have, but he also knew that Lorelai was right; Anna needed to know that April was going to spend time with Lorelai. And she needed to be okay with it.
Not wanting to return to the diner, knowing that he would be met with requests and questions from the staff even though he'd taken the day off, Luke drove to the lake and sat down under a tree. He'd spent a lifetime here at this lake, everything from learning to fish with his dad to trudging after April, holding her rock collection as she'd searched for a special something or other.
Now, in the quiet summer afternoon, Luke flipped open his cell phone and dialed Anna, hoping for the best and preparing for the worst.
"Hi, Luke." Her voice had no emotion in it as she answered.
"Anna, hey," he said. "Is this a bad time?"
"No, I just came home for a bit before heading back over to check on my mom this evening," she said. "What's up? Is April okay?"
"Yeah, she's fine, I talked to her last night," Luke said. "She's really enjoying that camp."
"Seems like it," Anna said. "So what's going on?"
Luke cleared his throat. "Well, I wanted to let you know that Lorelai and I have been seeing each other again, working through some of the things that went wrong," he said.
"And?" Anna prompted impatiently.
"And," Luke continued, his patience growing thin. "She's going to be spending time with April."
"April has a mother."
"No one's disputing that," Luke replied. "Lorelai wants to be part of April's life, that's it. She's going to be around and she wants the three of us to at least be cordial, for April's sake."
"Luke, she's our daughter," Anna insisted. "We don't need someone else complicating that."
"Look, this is a courtesy call more than anything," Luke said. "I know you're going through a rough time right now. I get it, I really do. Taking care of a sick parent is hard, and I'm sure you're missing April too right now. But you really don't have a right to tell me who I can spend time with."
"I do when it involves April."
"What is it that's bothering you?" Luke asked. "You don't even know Lorelai. If you guys talked, I bet you'd really like her."
"Of course I would," Anna muttered. "Because she's perfect."
"What?" Luke asked.
"Nothing," Anna said. "What do you want, Luke? My blessing? Sure. Be with her. Do whatever you want. But she's not going to be April's mother."
"She doesn't want to be!" Luke exclaimed. "Anna, she knows that April has a mom. A good mom. All she's asking for is to be there for April. To be able to talk to her and give her advice and be her friend. She wants to know her and look out for her. She refuses to even see her until she knows that you're okay with this."
Anna was silent for a moment. "We'll make all the big decisions?" she asked. "You and me?"
"Absolutely."
"I don't want her involved in any of the legal stuff."
"She won't be," Luke promised. "She knows that. She likes April, I think she'll come to love her. And in the long run, isn't it good for April to have someone else to talk to?"
"I suppose," Anna said. "I'm just scared, Luke. I'm out here all alone, my mom doesn't even recognize me, and I miss my daughter. Now there's this fun, exciting new woman in April's life and I just don't want to lose her too."
"You won't," Luke promised. "No one wants that. Especially Lorelai. She's a single mom too, she understands how important April is to you."
"I know," Anna sighed. "Look, I can't say I'm in love with the idea, but I'll try to come around to the idea. And when April's there in a couple weeks I guess we'll see how it goes."
"You're sure you're okay with it?" Luke asked. "Because we all just want what's best for April."
"Yeah, I'm okay with it," Anna said, and Luke could hear the sincerity in her voice. "Just promise me again that you and I will have final say in things?"
"Deal," Luke said. He cleared his throat as he picked at the grass beneath him. "Look, I know we're…well, our situation is strange. But I really did care for you and we have a kid, so if you need to talk, I'll listen. I know what you're going through."
"Thanks, Luke," Anna said.
"Okay, well, take care," Luke said.
"You too," Anna said. "Let me know when you pick April up?"
"Of course," he nodded. "Bye, Anna."
He hung up the phone and leaned his head back against the tree, processing his conversation with Anna. She'd been argumentative as usual, but she genuinely seemed to be warming to the idea of Lorelai. He doubted whether she'd ever be entirely okay with the idea, but as long as April was happy, she'd be okay with it.
Taking a deep breath to collect his emotions, Luke pushed himself off the ground and headed towards his truck, intent on finding Lorelai and easing her mind.
Michel was standing at the front desk when he walked in. "Oh, it's just you," he said, his voice dripping with disdain. "Your girlfriend is unpleasant again, I assume she's angry with you. Perhaps you should buy some new shirts."
Luke ignored Michel's thinly veiled insults and asked, "Do you know where Lorelai is?"
"Probably in the kitchen, not doing her job," Michel responded, his attention already focused on the papers in front of him.
Luke pushed through the door to the kitchen, where Sookie was yelling orders and frantically stirring some eggs together. "Luke!" she exclaimed. "Lorelai said you were busy at the diner this afternoon.
"Uh, yeah, I managed to get away," he replied, noticing her absence in the room. "Do you know where she might be?"
"She's not out front?" Sookie asked. "Hey, don't strain that again, I already strained it! Go fold some napkins! Sorry," she turned to Luke. "Hey, maybe she's at the stables. Sometimes she likes to sit with the horses during her break."
"Okay, I'll check there," Luke said. "Thanks."
As he let himself out the back door he heard Sookie yell, "I know I didn't just see you add another teaspoon of sugar!"
The grounds of the Dragonfly were quiet and peaceful in contrast to the stifling kitchen, and Luke shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked towards the stables. Lorelai wasn't there, but Desdamona's stall was empty so he wondered if she'd gone in search of the horse who was known to escape the barn.
Luke made it about half a mile from the inn on the trail when he glanced to his left, seeing the missing horse galloping through a small field. Lorelai was perched on her back, her hair spilling out from underneath her helmet. Luke watched her for a moment as she expertly pulled the horse down to a trot, reaching down to stroke her mane. Even from a distance, he could see Lorelai's unique beauty. Her jeans were stretched tightly against her long legs, and her white summer blouse shoved off her tanned arms, which gripped the reins. Luke felt a wave of pride wash over him at the fact that this beautiful woman was available for his touch, whenever he wanted it.
He raised a hand in a wave when Lorelai turned his way and began to walk towards her. Lorelai slowed Desdamona down to a stroll, then offered him a bright smile when they were in speaking distance. He could tell she was feeling better.
"Hi," she said, looking down at him. "Wow, I feel all powerful up here."
"Hi," he smiled, pressing a kiss to her denim clad knee, which rested slightly below his eye level. "I didn't know you could ride like that."
Lorelai shrugged. "Every child of society has to learn how to ride," she said. "My mom had me on my first horse before my third birthday."
"I had no idea," Luke wondered how there was still so much he could learn about the woman before him. "You look beautiful. Free."
Lorelai smiled as she stroked Desdamona's mane. "It's freeing, being out here. So peaceful and tranquil."
"Do you and Rory ride together?" he asked.
Lorelai laughed. "No, I'm afraid any interest in horses Rory may have had died along with the pony who collapsed during her first ride," she informed him. "But it's okay, it's something I can enjoy on my own."
"Oh," Luke nodded, reaching his hand out to pat the horse's neck. "How often do you ride now?"
"When I have time," Lorelai said. "When I have a lot to think about. I've been out a lot over the past few months."
Luke nodded, then looked up at her. "Got a few minutes to come down and talk?" he asked.
He saw nerves appear in her eyes, but she nodded. "Sure." He took a step back and watched, fascinated, as she expertly swung her left leg over the horse's back and hopped down. She took the reins and led Desdamona to a tree, tying her there before unsnapping her helmet and resting it on the ground beside the horse. After shaking out her hair, she turned to Luke and offered him her hand.
He gladly took it and followed her lead as she led them towards the pond a bit further down the path. They were both quiet for a moment before she said, "I'm sorry I was cranky earlier."
"Hey, it's okay," he said, squeezing her hand. "Look who you're talking to."
"Well, that was quite the role reversal we had back there I guess," she said. "You were trying to be positive and supportive and I totally closed up. I'm sorry."
"Don't sweat it." They reached the edge of the pond and she sat down on a small bench, pulling him to sit down beside her. "I talked to Anna," he murmured.
Lorelai nodded, her gaze fixed somewhere across the pond. "And?" she asked.
"She's okay with April being around you, us," Luke assured her. "Really."
"What did she say exactly?"
"Well, she was concerned at first because she wanted to make sure that she and I are still making all the big decisions," Luke started. "And when I told her you understood and respected that, she seemed relieved. So I went on to tell her that all you really want is to be there as an extra support system for April, that you want her to be happy and healthy, just like Anna and I do."
Lorelai nodded, her gaze still fixed on a spot in the distance. "So where do we stand?" she asked. "I mean, do I have to run things by her when I want to do something with April? Do we need you there as a chaperone? Am I allowed to touch you in front of April, or is that going to get back to her?"
Luke frowned. "Where's that coming from?" he asked.
"It always bugged me that she didn't want April spending time around me because we weren't married," she said. "I mean, not that I'm one to judge, but she had a kid without being married to. It's not like we would ignore April or sleep together when she's in the apartment. I just don't get why that was a big deal."
"Okay, I'm going to say something, and I need to you listen without biting my head off," Luke said.
She crossed her arms over her chest stubbornly but didn't say anything.
"What Anna's going through right now, with her mom, it's really hard," Luke said. "I'm not defending her, I'm not saying she had any right to treat you like she did. It was wrong of her, and she knows that. But taking care of her mom, who's so sick and doesn't even know who she is anymore is stressful and emotional. She's probably not thinking as rationally as she normally would. I know when my dad was sick I took it out on the people around me. That's probably part of the reason Liz took Jess and left. So while I don't like how she's acted, I do think we should cut her a tiny bit of slack."
Lorelai didn't respond right away, but he knew her well enough to know that she was contemplating what he'd said. "I guess you're right," she said. "I can imagine it would be horrible, especially for someone who has a decent history with their parents." She turned to look at him, her eyes hopeful and uncertain. "So what now?"
"Now," Luke reached out to push a strand of hair behind her ear. "We can start our life together."
Happiness came across her face, but she didn't fully allow herself to give in. "Okay, before we really do this, I just want to make sure," she said, standing and beginning to pace in front of the bench. "Because I know I'm sure, and I promise I won't bring up the whole hiding a daughter and shutting me out thing every time we fight. And I think we're okay with Christopher now, and if Anna really is serious that she's okay with me being around, then there's nothing standing in our way, but I just want to be really, really sure that this is it, you and me, no turning back. Because I can't lose you again, Luke, so if you're not sure just tell me now so I have some sense of…what are you doing?" She frowned as he stepped in front of her, reaching for her waist and stilling her movements.
"Would you just stand still?" he asked, pulling her close and kissing her deeply.
Lorelai laughed through the kiss as her hands moved to wrap around his neck, kissing him back. After a moment, she pulled back, her eyes shining with tears. Unlike the past few months, though, these were tears of happiness. "All in?" she asked, her eyes searching his.
He squeezed her tightly. "All in," he confirmed before he kissed her again.
XXXXX
"Please, Luke," she whined later that night as he counted the change at the register in the diner. "Please, please, please, Luke."
"No."
"Just one more cup."
"No."
"Why not?" she asked, holding her cup out to him. "I'll even wash the cup myself. And the coffee machine. It will be like it never happened."
"Except it will be extremely noticeable when you're keeping me awake all night," he countered.
Lorelai leaned forward with raised eyebrows. "What's wrong with staying up all night?" she asked in a seductive whisper.
He slammed the register drawer closed and leaned his elbows on the counter, meeting her gaze evenly. "Not yet," he said.
Lorelai's jaw dropped. "What?" she asked. "Why not? I mean, maybe we still have some smaller things to talk about, but we got the big stuff out of the way. I want you."
"I want you too," he assured her. "But I want to take you to dinner, watch you get all flushed when you drink champagne, I want to flirt with you and hold your hand. Then we can come home."
"Wow, who knew you were such a romantic," Lorelai said, a small smile on her lips.
"I took you on a date last time," he frowned.
"Ah, yes, but if memory serves you made me drive to New Hampshire for a booty call before said date," Lorelai replied.
"I didn't make you," Luke scoffed. "I just happened to be in that general vicinity, and mentioned if you also happened to be close by, we could…"
"Cut the phone foreplay and get down to it?" Lorelai asked with a smile.
Luke blushed and pushed himself off the counter. "Call me old fashioned, I'd like to take a girl to dinner before I have my way with her," he said.
"Well, as long as you're buying, I'll put out," Lorelai said. "So when is this dinner going to take place?"
He shrugged. "When are you free?"
"Well, seeing as I hired extra summer help for the Dragonfly and my boyfriend is refusing to sleep with me, I can arrange to be free pretty much any time."
"Tomorrow night?" he asked.
"Well, someone's in a hurry," Lorelai raised her eyebrows.
"Hey, just because I want to do it right doesn't mean I want to wait another week," Luke said.
"You're cute," Lorelai informed him. "Tomorrow works."
"I'm not cute."
"Yes you are," Lorelai said. "You, Luke Danes, are many things. Cute is one of them."
He sighed and hooked a finger around her empty coffee mug. "Let me put this in the dishwasher and give the kitchen one last look. Then we can go home."
Lorelai nodded and watched as he disappeared into the kitchen. He returned a few minutes later with a nod. "Ready to go?"
"Yes, sir!" Lorelai said. After he'd locked the diner and they were strolling through the town square, she looped her arm through his and said, "Hey Luke?"
"Yeah?"
"I've been noticing something."
"What?"
"The closet has gotten quite full recently," Lorelai commented. "And I've also noticed that there has been an unusually large amount of fruits and vegetables in the fridge. It has also come to my attention that in the few times you've stayed at your apartment lately, you've had to call me to bring you stuff you left at the house."
"What are you asking?" Luke asked.
Lorelai stopped and tugged on his arm, forcing him to face her. "I think you moved in," she said.
"No, I…we would have talked about that," Luke said. "We're not…there."
"Aren't we?" Lorelai asked. "I mean, it's just been assumed that you'd stay over. All your stuff is there. We both know that we want it to happen eventually, but we were kind of dancing around the subject because we wanted to fight through those issues. But now that the water's under the bridge, I think we should talk about it."
"I…I don't know," Luke said honestly. "What about the girls?"
"What about them?" Lorelai tilted her head to the side. "Do you think it would be weird for April?"
"I want to talk to her about it," Luke said. "Is it okay with Rory?"
"I think she'll be fine with it," she said. "She was okay with Gigi living there, and April is way less intrusive, I would imagine."
"What happens if they're both here at the same time?" Luke asked.
"Well, we'll have to figure that out and think about it," Lorelai conceded. "But, Luke, just stop for a second. Do you want this? Stop thinking about logistics and floor plans and the girls and even me. Do you want this?"
He paused for a moment before he nodded. "Yeah, I think I do," he finally said.
Lorelai beamed. "Good," she said. They resumed walking for a moment before Lorelai said, "We should get some pictures of April to put up around the house."
He looked over gratefully at her. She really was trying. It was as if their multiple conversations about his daughter today had officially stripped all of her concerns about the situation. "We should," he nodded.
"I want her to feel at home," she said. "I know it's not her home home, but she should feel welcome there."
"I don't think that would be a problem," Luke said. "You can make anyone feel welcome."
"I know, I just…have to prove myself against that stupid stepmother stereotype," she shrugged.
"You've been obsessing over that," Luke commented.
"Well, yeah, it's easy for you to say," Lorelai said. "How many fairy tales include an evil step father?"
"I don't think you'll have that problem, unless you've been perfecting your poison apple recipe," Luke said.
"Nope, I'm going to lure her in with poisoned Pop Tarts," Lorelai replied. "Apples aren't my thing, unless I'm pregnant."
"What?" Luke frowned.
"Pregnant, with child, passing the torch to a new generation," Lorelai explained. "I ate so many apples when I was pregnant with Rory. One time I gave a maid fifty bucks to let me sneak an entire bushel upstairs and tell my mother the grocery store was out of them."
"Apples, huh?" Luke asked. "I guess you'd know something was up when you started craving healthy food."
"That's true," she said. They continued their walk before she asked, "So Liz and TJ are trying for more kids?"
"God help us all."
"She's getting fertility treatments?"
"I don't know if they're treatments or some voodoo witch doctor rubbing some weird herbal potion on Liz's forehead," Luke replied. "Why?"
"Just curious," Lorelai said. "She's not much older than me, you know."
"I know," he looked at her curiously.
"Do you think we would have had a kid by now?" Lorelai whispered. "If we'd talked or I hadn't…if June 3rd had happened?"
"I thought we weren't going to play the what if game," he murmured.
"I know," she sighed. "Sometimes I just can't help it. I would have wanted to be."
"Yeah?" he asked.
"Yeah," she confirmed. She bumped her hip against his. "You could have knocked me up on our wedding night as far as I was concerned.
"Lorelai…"
"Sorry," she said. "I know you don't want to think about what could have been, but I just can't help it. Especially hearing that Liz has to get fertility treatments. Or whatever she's doing. I guess I'm just kind of wondering if I'm going to be on both ends of that pregnancy age bell curve. If it's even in the cards for us at all."
"Lorelai…"
"I know, we finally decided to put the past behind us and I go from zero to sixty, it's completely insane. And really, do we want three kids in three different generations? It would probably not be the most responsible thing in the world, but hey, neither of our kids were exactly planned, so who are we to talk about resonsibil…"
She was cut off when Luke pressed his lips tightly against hers, holding her close.
"What the hell was that?" she asked, pulling away.
"That was me trying to shut you up," Luke said. "We've made enough insights for one day. We'll talk about the rest another time. Soon," he added when he saw Lorelai open her mouth to argue.
"Fine," she muttered. They started to walk again, and she muttered, "You can't just kiss me whenever you want me to stop talking."
"I'd never get enough oxygen," he replied. He reached for her hand and laced his fingers through hers, then said, "We'll get our plants."
The conversation they'd had when she was half asleep the night of their engagement came back to her and she smiled slightly. Plants were definitely not what Luke had in mind during either conversation. "I think I want at least one plant," she said.
"Maybe two," Luke nodded.
"We need to make room for two plants."
As they approached her house-their house-Luke squeezed her close to him. "We've got time, Gilmore," he promised.
Lorelai turned to smile up at him, her own arms wrapping around his stomach. "We do," she replied. "Let's not waste it."