Chapter 4
Author Witch0000
Fandom The Good Wife
Pairing Alicia/Kalinda
Disclaimer: The Good Wife is the property of CBS. I own nothing and make no profit from this story.
Kalinda led Alicia to the master bedroom, pulled out a t-shirt and shorts for her to sleep in, and pointed her in the direction of the bathroom. While Alicia was getting ready for bed, Kalinda paced her room nervously. What am I thinking! I cannot—I cannot sleep next to her all night. Not without making some kind of move on her. I will implode! Kalinda unbuttoned her blouse and opened a dresser drawer, looking for something suitable to sleep in. Settling for a pair of sweatpants and a tank top, she tossed them on the bed as she began to unbutton her jeans. As soon as she started pushing her jeans over her hips, the door to the bathroom opened, and Alicia stood there, stopping dead in her tracks. Kalinda swallowed hard as their eyes met, and continued removing her jeans, replacing them with her sweatpants.
Still standing there with her blouse undone, revealing a very pretty lavender bra, she said casually, "Are you all done in there Alicia?"
Alicia nodded her assent—she didn't trust her voice not to betray her deep arousal. Kalinda grabbed her tank top off the bed, smiled at Alicia, and went into the bathroom and closed the door behind her and locked it.
Kalinda leaned against the door for support and tried to steady her breath. This was so unlike her. She was way, way, way out of her comfort zone, and she didn't like it. Ok, Kalinda. Steady on. Steeling herself, she pushed herself away from the door, headed for the sink and busied herself with her usual night-time rituals. She knew she was taking a bit too long—stalling for time. She was still very nervous, and not certain about what would—or better yet, should—happen tonight. Well, there's only one way to find out.
Kalinda grasped the door knob and turned it. She looked over at the bed and saw Alicia, tucked in under the covers, completely and totally passed out. Crisis averted—at least for the time being. She smiled at the sight of her friend, so tired from all the bullshit Peter had been dishing out. So tired that as soon as she was away from him, she finally relaxed enough to fall into a deep sleep.
Kalinda knew that Alicia had not slept well for a very, very long time. Way before the news broke of Peter's affair with the hooker and his subsequent trial and incarceration. Peter and Alicia had not been doing well for some time, and Alicia had been long troubled by it. Kalinda knew this—not from Alicia, but from Peter himself. Peter played his cards close to the vest, but Kalinda was very good at getting people to open up and talk to her. It's what made her so damn good at her job. And he'd let his guard down more than once around Kalinda when they were alone in the District Attorney's office late at night, working on some high profile case. And she listened—to all of it. How Alicia wasn't happy. How she usually fell asleep—or pretended to be asleep—on the couch and didn't bother to come to bed whenever it was that Peter came home after his usual late night of work and politicking. How she and he had stopped talking—really talking to each other. The only conversations they had were about Peter, his career and ambitions, and the kids. Alicia rarely shared anything but the most superficial things about her day—certainly not her thoughts and feelings. Alicia had been on autopilot, being the perfect political wife, the perfect mother, the perfect suburban neighbor. She wasn't the Alicia he'd married. By making her put off her career and her aspirations, making her be what he needed her to be so he could have the life he'd always dreamed of, he'd turned her into someone she didn't recognize and wasn't comfortable with. And she wasn't happy—that was clear. But she never said so—never admitted it. And Peter was too much of a coward to ask her directly about it. And he had no idea how to make her happy. So he worked late in the office, drank too much frequently, and lost himself in mindless encounters with women who pretended to be pleased by him. Amber wasn't the first—just the first time he got caught. And he settled for that, because it was easier than taking an honest look at his marriage and trying to fix it.
My poor Alicia. Kalinda walked softly over to her side of the bed, climbed under the covers and turned out the light. As she lay there, she no longer wondered what the right thing was to do any longer. She rolled on her side towards Alicia, and wrapped her arm around her waist and held her close to her body. She was astonished at how well they fit together, and how exquisite Alicia's body felt lying next to her. She quietly thanked the gods for this night, knowing that it was likely the only night she would ever spend holding Alicia in her bed, and fell into a deep, untroubled sleep.
Alicia awoke sometime during the night completely disoriented and suddenly frightened. Her whole body stiffened as she tried to make out where she was and who she was with. Sensing her friend's anxiety, Kalinda brushed her hand over Alicia's stomach and said, "Alicia, it's all right. You're with me and you're safe. Go back to sleep now."
Kalinda? I'm in bed with Kalinda? Alicia's mind was thick with sleep and she had trouble remembering how she had got here. Oh, right…Peter was an ass last night. Kalinda took me in. Alicia's mind suddenly snapped awake as she remembered Kalinda holding her on the couch—and not wanting to let her go. In fact, Kalinda was still holding her right now and from the looks of things, had been holding her all night. She shifted slightly and felt Kalinda effortlessly move with her, keeping her arms wrapped around her waist. Using her own supreme compartmentalization skills, Alicia put all judgmental thoughts about what she was doing and who she was doing it with off to the side and allowed herself to enjoy this night. As she covered Kalinda's arms with her own, she smiled and closed her eyes, relishing the feeling of lying in Kalinda's arms, in Kalinda's bed, feeling happier than she had in a very long time.
Kalinda almost heard Alicia's internal conflict as she pretended to be half asleep. She was, in fact, very awake, on alert and very aroused. She was hyper aware of every move either of them made, and her body adjusted itself automatically in order to stay melded to Alicia's body. She was on sensory overload. Alicia felt and smelled amazing. And I bet she tastes even better than she smells, Kalinda thought to herself. Stop it! You're doing so well! Don't blow it now. Stay on guard and don't do anything either of you will regret in the morning. Kalinda wondered vaguely if she could ever regret making love with Alicia. Touching her, loving her, making her feel wanted and adored. The way she deserved to feel. The way her husband could not and would not make her feel. As she felt Alicia's body truly relax again, her inner conflict calmed for the moment, Kalinda allowed herself to relax. It wasn't long before both women drifted off to sleep again.