Chapter 4: Ramblings of a Madman

Rattmann was having an animated discussion with Cube as he walked toward Test Chamber 12. "It's a bridge made entirely of light!" he exclaimed. "It's amazing! Hard to make, but when you're finished it really pays off. I can't wait until GLaDOS uses the Excursion Funnels. Those are absolutely brilliant." He stopped when he realised Cube wasn't listening to him. "Thanks for taking such interest," he groaned sarcastically.

"DUCK!" Cube cried, and Doug crashed into the floor just as Wheatley soared over their heads. He had managed to balance some bird eggs on his handle, and as Doug watched he dropped them into a door mechanism.

Doug followed, curious. His den was just up ahead, so this was probably the door mechanism for Test Chamber 12. He could hear GLaDOS complaining about something. Wheatley was hiding behind a doorway, waiting. GLaDOS left, and Wheatley sped through the door. Doug crept closer, silently listening.

"Hey! Up here!" Wheatley said urgently. "I found some bird eggs lying around here; just dropped them into the door mechanism! Shut it right down I-" There was the sound of a bird cawing, and Doug guessed it had found the eggs and was seeking revenge. "AGH!" Wheatley yelled. "BIRD! BIRD! BIRD! BIRD!" He went through the door Doug was hiding behind. Doug made a lucky grab, and caught the bird by its tail. It shrieked wildly, but Doug held on. "Get back to Chell!" he mouthed at Wheatley. "Ok." The core nodded and went back in. Doug ran into the corridor, threw the bird off a ledge, and ran back to where Wheatley was. The bird flew back to him, but he managed to shut the door, before it could reach him. He heard a thud as it collided with the door and fell to the floor. He just hoped it wasn't dead.

Wheatley was panting as he saw Chell again. "That's probably the bird that laid the eggs, innit? Livid! Ok, the point is, we're gonna break out of here. Very soon, I promise, I promise. I just need to figure out how… to break us out of here." Wheatley suddenly started. "Here she comes! Keep test- just keep testing! Remember you never saw me, never saw me!" He sped off as GLaDOS returned.

Doug hurried out of earshot of GLaDOS and Chell, and then burst into laughter. Maybe it was the fact the bird was so angry; maybe it was because Wheatley could be so idiotic; maybe it was just his insane mind making him feel weird. Either way, he couldn't stop laughing as he climbed over a pipe and into his den.

His murals had survived over time, probably because the pipes kept it cool. Doug limped over to one side, but as he placed his foot down a panel came loose. He jumped back, swearing under his breath. He could see right into the test chamber. Chell was staring at the panel as it fell into the acidic goo below. Doug scrambled out of sight just as she looked up. Curious, she placed a Portal on the Hard Light Bridge, and another in the den. Doug had time to run back to his mural and hide behind a pipe, before she fell into his den.

He watched her walking curiously around, taking in every inch of the den. She stared at the mural, running her fingers over the painting as if she felt sorry for it. Or did she feel sorry… for him?

Doug breathed in. He had never seen Chell when she was awake. Her eyes studied everything with interest, and she walked with a sense of confidence. She crouched down to examine ever cup and can of beans. The way she held the Portal Gun showed she knew exactly how to use it.

She eventually jumped back into the Test Chamber. Doug breathed out. His mind felt even fuzzier, but he didn't mind as much. He slowly walked over to Test Chamber 16, where his next den was. He stopped when he realised what was in that chamber. Maybe it would be best just to wait in Test Chamber 17.

As he limped toward his next den, his mind started whirling. The old symptoms were coming back. He still knew where he was going, but everything else seemed to be in flux.

He walked past the lift of Test Chamber 13, and was shocked to see it was out of use. That meant…

Doug gasped. "She's going through one of my corridors!" he exclaimed. "…and?" Cube said, bored. Doug frowned. "How am I meant to get to Chamber 17 if she's walking through it?" he demanded. Cube sighed. "Scenic Route?" she suggested.

"But I can't remember the scenic route!" he snapped. Cube was silent. Underneath everything, Doug knew it was his illness making him angry. But he didn't want to admit it.

Cursing, he tried to find a way to Test Chamber 17. With every step he took, he could feel his mind growing more unstable.

Eventually he found it, but he was just outside the walls of his den. Annoyed, Doug sat down and leaned against them. He tried talking to Cube, but his words were sounding more and more distorted every time. Without really noticing, his attempts at conversation just turned into rambling. He sat there for at least an hour, just rambling nonsense words, not knowing that Chell was pressed up against the other side and could hear him.