Morning guys ! There's the next :) Things is getting complicated now. This is not always the case?

Please, don't be shy. Tell me how you feel about the story. I don't bite and plus, I have candies over here. ;)

Chapter 4

Some things aren't supposed to be denied

"Really Kate, you don't have to do this." Opening the door of his loft with his free hand, he let her come in and crashed on the couch, closing his eyes and groaning in pain. The doctor had just given him the green light to leave the hospital but he didn't really feel better. But the doctor had said that all he could do was rest... and take painkillers. He was going to be drugged-up on painkillers. Those days had been tough and that's why he had wanted to go back at home. He had been tired to go being woken early every mornings just to check his injuries for 5 minutes, tired of eat things that somehow qualified as food but were more alike water, tired of seeing sad faces just because he was on that bed, tired of having to hear his own heart beat going crazy when he had nightmares. He just wanted to forget all about that day and he couldn't if he stayed in the hospital. Even more, he had been and still was tired of arguing with Kate about that day. She couldn't stop blaming herself and accusing him at the same time and, quite frankly, it was pissing him off. The only thing he wanted to remember, and he wanted to discuss was his..sort of..revelation just before passing out. But he should have known. Kate Beckett is always hiding from the things she doesn't know how handle. So, she made excuses and changed subject, playing with the fact that he was tired. At first, he hadn't known what to do, he had almost lost her and had told her he loved her and the only thing he wanted was to be with her, but right now? With all the hiding and arguing? He just wanted her to leave him a few days. But she wasn't hearing the same thing, he didn't know why, she kept saying she wanted to stay and help him. How was he supposed to stay with her all day and not confront her?

Kate closed the door and went to put his stuff in his bedroom. Coming back to the living room she looked at him, shaking her head. "Castle, watch yourself. You're a mess."

"Well, thanks Beckett, I'm flattered but I already told you. There's no need."

She tightened her jaw, losing her patience. Why did he needed to complicate things? She was supposed to be the one doing that, not him. "Yes you're right, we've already talked about this and I don't have change my mind. I'm not going to leave you alone. How do you think you'll manage with only one arm and the pain? I know you're in pain, don't deny it." she said as she went to sit at the opposite end of the couch to him, watching him, his eyes still closed.

"Funny. Usually you're the one who wants to get me out and funnier still, you're the one who denies everything." He put an emphasis on the end his sentence and she knew what he was talking about. But she didn't want to face it, not yet, not now.

"Castle.. please. Not now." she managed to say, looking suddenly at her hands. She didn't want to talk about that. Like she hadn't wanted to for the last few days. Yes, she was denying the fact that he had told her how he felt but she didn't feel like she could face it right now. She wasn't ready, but she didn't want to lose him. The best thing was to not talk about it yet. They could wait until he was better at least. Almost losing him had just revealed to her somewhat more how she felt about him. That's why her head was a war zone, balancing precariously between letting it go or jumping with him into a relationship or getting away from him. She wasn't good for him. Good god, he had been shot because of her. Right now she needed to be here for him, just looking at him and seeing him suffer was making her heart ache. She wanted to be with him anyway since she didn't want to go back to the precinct if the Captain didn't want him to be there.

"Yes Kate? So when? When will you finally stop hiding? Because I'm starting to get tired of trying to find you."

"Please. Don't make it worse. I just want you to be better for now."

"Fine. But this conversation, isn't over, because right now I'm definitely too tired to argue. And still, I can't ask you to be here whenever I need it."

"So what, you're gonna to play the hero once again and get even more hurt? That's your plan?"

"We're not having the hero conversation right now either and I am not going to get hurt. Jeez Kate, I'm not made of glass!"

She rose an eyebrow to him as she reached his side and push him a little. Hearing him groaning she looked back at him. "Yeah? Maybe you're not made of glass but you can barely move. So, unless you'd like to live on your couch until you're better, I'm curious to know how you're going to do everything alone. So stop to behaving like a baby and let me help you."

"I'm not alone, might I remind you. Alexis still lives here, so does my mother."

"Yeah but they aren't going to be here all day and I doubt they have time to babysit you."

"Because you do?"

"Actually... yes."

"That's a story I want to hear."

"Probably, but not now. You're tired. Come on." She helped him stand up and walk to the bedroom, waiting for him to sit on his bed. She began to undo the buttons of his shirt hesitantly when his useable hand softly wrapped her hand. She raised her gaze to his.

"Kate, don't. I- I can do that. You just go. I'll be fine." he said trying to seem calm.

He let her hand move off his shirt, watching the change in her eyes, going from hesitant to insecure to determined "Okay." She whispered "But, I'm not going anywhere, so deal why it."

She kept the visual contact with him until her phone distracted her. She checked the ID and ignored it, biting the inside of her cheek.

"Kate, you should answer your boyfriend."

She looked at him, eyes wide. "How did you-"

"Kate. That's the fifth time that you've heard a call and ignore it. I'm not an idiot. And you really should respond to him. If I'm right, you haven't spoken to him since the shooting, he must be worried." He hated to say things like that. He didn't want her to go speak to motorcycle-boy but if he really loved her, he would be really bad and if it was him, he would need to check on her. That and also that was a way to not have her around him for a moment.

"Fine. I'll wait for your daughter or Martha and then I'll leave. If you need me, just call." She left his room and as she closed the door, she let her back rest against it, rubbing a hand on her face and through her hair,sighing. Why was all of this so hard?

She made her way to the couch, letting thoughts invade her mind when she heard the front door open on Martha.

"Good morning Darling! Where's Richard?" She said, wrapping the girl in her embrace.

"He is in his bedroom, getting some rest." she responded as a small smile traced her lips, her eyes getting lost on the floor.

Martha shook her head and sat on the couch. "Poor boy, I don't remember ever seeing him that bad." She paused. "And you dear, you seem tired. You should go, I don't plan to leave."

"Yeah, I have somewhere to be anyway." She smiled at the woman and made her way to the door, letting her hear her goodbye.

"So Kate, care to explain what the hell is going on? Have you any idea to how much I was worried when I heard about that shooting?" She was standing in front of her boyfriend in the hallway of the hospital and was starting to get really annoyed. Hell he was worried.

"I'm fine josh, and don't talk so loud please."

"You're fine? So that's all you're going to say? I have just heard that you were the target of a shooting and you say me you're fine? Really Kate?" He went close to her and his voice started to rise. "And no, I'm not going to stop talking loudly, because I don't care."

"What do you want me to say anyway, Josh?"

"Oh I don't know, you could start by telling me where the hell were you those fives days and why you don't respond to my calls."

"Where I was is none of your business."

"Oh I see. It's that writer of yours, isn't it?"

"I'm sorry?"

"You were with your writer, of course. I heard in the hospital from a nurse that a woman refused to leave a patient and used her power to stay and... I'm not surprised it was you."

"Okay, so? It's still none of your business."

"Oh yeah? To know that my girlfriend is with that.. that..guy without even telling me that she almost died is none of my business?!"

"He is my partner Josh, it's what we do. Being here for each other."

"Yeah right, why don't you just tell me you already sleep with him?" He said with a what seemed to be a smile.

"What the - ? Josh! Okay, you know what. That's enough. You can put your jealousy where your ass is. I'm done." He really had gone too far. She knew she wasn't particularly attached to him but this? This was it.

She was on her way to leave when she felt him grab her arm, making her turn back to him. "Yeah, no. Wait. I want an answer."

"Josh, let me go." She pulled on her arm for him to let her go.

"So, it's a yes? I kneeeew it! You know what? He had deserved that bullet. I don't even know why is still alive."

Her jaw tightened, she dangerously made her way toward him with her gun-gaze, pushing him to a wall and bringing her face close to his to make herself understood, talking with a low, strong voice. "Listen to me Jackass. Say that again and you'll be wondering how you're still alive, understand me? Now, I'm going to leave and you are going to shut your fucking mouth and never, ever call me or anything. Understood?"

She saw him nod. "That was I thought. Now get out." she said pushing him firmly against the wall and leaved.

AND NOW. JOSH DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE. AMEN.