.

IV: Hiraeth

...

...

"What have you done."

A slamming of hands, fingers digging into flesh, lividness, all swirling in a churning mass of red and black. Eyes, chilling and hard like diamonds, burning holes into glittering amethysts. The sudden lunge had the bigger creature by surprise, but it isn't long before Ivan returns the snarl with a malicious smirk of his own. Bitter coldness flares, and the Nokken retracts his tingling hands away from their hold around the former's neck.

The ends of his fingers throbbed numbly, but the fae merely curled them into tight fists as he glared openly at the other. Gone was the calmness he had attempted to contain; what once was imposing had crumbled under the revelation of the act his supposed acquaintance had committed.

"What have you done to her."

"My, I'm surprised you even know what happened." The North Wind lifted his chin proudly, the action done as though to humour a small child. "Do tell Lukas."

The words only seem to agitate the Nokken further, and the clearing trembled along with him as he shook with repressed anger. "I'll kill you," he mutters, and Ivan only shakes his head gently at the sorry sight.

"No you won't." They both know this is the truth.

"If you did anything to her..." The Nokken looks up, and the North Wind starts at the amount of anguish and rage in his eyes. "I will kill you." The North Wind's hand clenches involuntarily as he watched the shadows distort on the Nokken's face, and once again Ivan marvels at how just one human girl was able to evoke such intensity from the creature in front of him. The image of the seething fae reflects in his eyes, and Ivan knows this was a sight he would never forget. There was no doubt this threat, no matter how unwisely said, was to be taken heed of.

"Leave." A warning hiss, and the North Wind exhales softly. Turning towards the thicket, the North Wind pauses, the air and snow around him eerily still and undisturbed as compared to the rest of his immediate surroundings, the air having turned turbulent with static and the ground vibrating with foreboding. Purple eyes watch the empty wilderness thoughtfully, keeping his gaze levelled as another pair of orbs scowl hatefully into his skin.

("An interesting human, but not one I want to toy with. Not when the one I truly loathe is-")

"I wash my hands clean of her." A blast of icy wind flapped the ends of loose cloth violently, throwing the mutter into the winds. "Do what you want, but you know the consequences."

Only the distant howl of a wolf and the slight sloshing of water answers the North Wind, and it is with bitterness when he feels the winds envelope him. The feeling of victory and glee he had expected from his actions had been noticeably absent; all he had received from the suffering and despair he had caused were reminders of a past he rather not remember. A past he regrets he cannot change, not when he is there, not when she was still angry at him. He leaves disgruntled, a part of him feeling unhappy at all that had conspired.

The Nokken's body slumps tiredly when the winds finally calm, the presence of the North Wind having faded along with it. One hand runs through his hair, gripping fistfuls of blonde locks and disturbing the pristine clip from its position as a quiet noise of agitation leaves his mouth. Never had Lukas felt so helpless in his life. A flicker of selfish yearning comes to life within him (yet again), and his eyes squeezes shut as he exhales, long and hard.

"Don't you wish you could too? Leave?"

The heart of winter had left, but the clearing remained frozen over. Even the edges of the lake waters had solidified, and the absence of life around him made the Nokken feel emptier than ever.

...

...

...

In the days that follow after the accident Lien takes out her hunting knifes and weapons and starts sharpening them one by one. Even the arrows and blades she had honed once she takes out to do again, if only to distract her from cruel amethysts that haunt her dreams and whose sole thought triggered the shaking of her hands. The sounds of grinding metal echo within the hut, and it isn't long before Siew Bao wakes up from his naps with ears flattened but used to the painful, grating sound.

Much to the hound's relief, the stifled routine would not last forever. They both feel the season changing, and with the arrival of cooler breezes, the hunter's nightmares' recede and she returned to her normal self. (That was good, for he did not like the soft noises she would make in her sleep, the furrowed lines on her face deepening as she tossed and turned. She had called out the name of her littermate once, and the name of another, familiar one that had sounded similar to the rain-scented creature by the lake. But Siew Bao had not dwelled on that, focusing instead on licking away the salty liquid that ran down his sleeping master's cheeks as he made sure she was alright. He did not like the salt water, for that was something he had come to equate with pain.)

When a fortnight passes, Lien finally dons herself with familiar garb and the duo heads out towards the direction of the meadows that lie eastward away from their usual hunting grounds. Snow had stopped falling a while ago, and the hunter holds her breath as Siew Bao sniffs at a particular patch of the fallen crystals before shoving his paws into the whiteness to begin digging.

The muted scent of growing life hits her nose, and Lien smiles in satisfaction as Siew Bao shook wet snow off his face, his breath forming little translucent clouds as they both marveled the season's first spring grass silently.

The barren snowscape remains undisturbed as hunter and hound head back into the cover of trees. Walking through the snow slowly, Lien lifts her head when the latter growls in warning towards a spot of trees lying off the beaten trail. Foreign growls reply in unison, and Lien narrows her eyes as a middle-aged man walks out from behind a thick bark-stripped trunk, three dogs on leashes scrambling over him as they followed, straining against the leather pieces as they watched Siew Bao cautiously.

"Fellow hunter are you?" The man was tall and bulky, his experienced eyes boring into her and taking in their similarly-clothed garb, as well as the quiver on her back and bow held casually in her hands. Hunters don't usually bump into each other in the huge expanse of forest, and one can even go for years without ever meeting another. That said, chance meetings like these were rare, but it suited many of their agendas just fine.

With a nod, Lien relayed to him her findings in the meadow, and with an evident sigh of relief, the man relaxed and gave her an easy grin, one that she returned with a small smile. "It's about time spring came." The man guffawed good-naturedly. "My feet were about to freeze off from all that waiting!"

Now significantly more at ease, the two called off their hounds and swapped pleasantries, making small talk as the hounds sniff at one another curiously. In the midst of their conversation, Lien finds the heavy load in her chest begin to lift. It had been too long since she had someone to talk to, someone she could trust. Her mind shifts to memories of pained eyes, and she pushes them back into the darkness before her heart became weighed with lingering regrets.

"I must be going now. Wife expects me back soon with four hungry mouths." The other hunter chuckles cheekily and gestures to his hunting dogs, and Lien smiles wider as she steps past him and calls for Siew Bao.

"Of course. May your year be blessed with good hunts."

"And to you. A word of caution though." The man tapped his chin thoughtfully before looking at her seriously. "There has been talk of imp activity in the Northwest, few miles past the wide river. Wolves have been sighted coming down from the North too, close to the woodland where the hot springs are. Why just a couple of days ago I saw a couple patrolling near the old bear caves." He tilted his chin towards the direction of the meadow as Lien followed his gaze, aware of what he was talking about. At the Northern tip of the meadows were thin patches of rocky woodland, frequented by many deer, but also known for its sizable cave openings where bears enter to hibernate during winter.

"If I were you, I would tread those areas with caution. Or avoid them altogether."

"I will keep that in mind. Thank you." Lien nods kindly as the older hunter gives her a mock salute before going on his way. The hounds sniff and wag their tails at Siew Bao before bounding up to their master as they tug on their leashes, the excited shuffling of feet fading into the wind as their figures gradually disappear from sight.

Still reeling from the encounter of human contact, Lien's smile turns wistful as she resumes the trek home. As Siew Bao stops to sniff the air when they brush by their usual hunting route her smile wavers, and unconsciously she moves closer to the other end of the trail away from the route as she walks. They reach their hut in relatively good time, and Lien throws one last look at the tranquil forest before closing the door to start on dinner.

...

...

...

"Azaleas, azaleas, a bouquet full of gay. Someday, someday, you-"

"That isn't even a real song." Smaller hands struggle to steady their grip on more calloused ones. In the dimly lit house, the little girl's feet attempted to keep pace with her brother's. He twirls her quickly on the slippery wood, and the girl yelps as she stumbles, her naked feet splaying over the floor until the stronger boy has to support half her weight.

"Yes it is!" The lanky boy laughs heartily through a grunt as he pulls his sister upright, pouting softly as she squirmed out of his grip. " 'Someday, you will grow to become our little own azalea.' Or so that's what Gramps says."

The girl snorts and turns her head away. "You are being cheesy. I don't like it brother."

"But it's true!" Came the protest and she turns back just in time to see him swallowing a smile. "You are only ten now, but in a few years time," he makes a gesture with his hands. "You are going to become very pretty."

"Don't be silly. Womanhood (she eyes him with a look when he corrects her pronunciation) won't change anything. I'm still going to be living with you and Grandpa and doing my share of the hunting."

"I'm just glad there aren't any boys living in the woods to admire my little sister when she grows up all beautiful." Brother grins boyishly and smirks when he catches the small log aimed at his head, revelling in achievement as his sister blinks at him in surprise, before a tiny smile slowly spreads across her face.

"You have to teach me how to do that."

"Sure! I can teach you all sorts of things too, like how to shoot squirrels and rabbits and boars." There was pride in his voice, and the girl sniggers as she shuffled her feet. "Don't need to. I can just ask Grandpa to teach me."

Right on cue, a knock sounded against the wooden door. With eagerness the siblings rush to open it, and brother laughs at sister as he flicks her forehead, causing her to fuss and drop her grip on the knob so that he is the one that pulls it open for their charge to enter, smiling cheekily as he does so.

"Love you sis!"

"Oh don't be such a sap, Yao."

...

...

...

It was raining, the clouds in the sky grey and overcast as they released their tensions and shed unneeded weight. The ground soaks up the pelting droplets greedily while the various green spouts that grew scattered around masses of budding daisies unfurled their leaves and blades to soak in the coolness of the falling water.

A heavy droplet trails down the curve of Lukas' nose, past his closed lips before dribbling down his chin. His eyes stare unseeingly on a patch of young grass as the rain stains his body, but he does not move from his position on the soft earth. His beloved violin sits innocuously on his lap, rainwater dripping off the slippery wood easily, but the Nokken felt no urge to pick and pluck at the strings. The urge to play music had dried up a long time ago, and now all he feels is nothingness. If he tried, all that would come out from his skillful hands would be a mournful tune, and that would be too painful - even for him - to bear.

Fingers brush against blades of young grass gently, and Lukas breathes in the scent of growing life as he contemplates on how spring as come late this year. Something soft drapes over his head, sheltering him from the rain, and Lukas tilts his head up slowly as the faint smell of wood smoke and something comforting assaults his nostrils. Doe eyes greet him sombrely, parts of her face hidden under the shadow of her hood, but there was no mistaking it; the hunter looking at him with downcast eyes as her hand drops back to her side.

Despite himself, the Nokken finds his breath falter and catch for the briefest of moments. Indigo hues take in the hunter's appearance searchingly under the blanket, holding her eyes until she shifts them away and he is left to trace the way rain drips down the sides of the thin cloak that barely covered her from her mid-calves down to her feet. Her bow was missing, though the quiver was still slung over her shoulder. The ends of her hair poking out from within the hood were wet, while her lips looked dry, but it was her hands he glimpsed, and her hands he focused on.

They were curled away from him, the tips of fingers flaring painful pink while palms a pale pasty white. The temperature of the forest had fallen, and Lukas wonders if she would mind if he were to reach out and lace his fingers with hers, if only to take away the cold and numbness that she must have been feeling.

"I'm sorry. I never meant to show you how much of a monster I was." The words leave his mouth softly, honesty and regret brimming the edges of it. It was hard to convey and spew emotions the way humans do, but he was willing to try, if only to get her to forgive him.

His hand twitches.

The Nokken purses his lips as he lifts the limb. With hesitation he reaches for her, crossing the space that separated the brushing of clothes. The blanket falls off his head as his hand hovers uncertainly over hers, but when the hunter offers no resistance, he swallows and brings his hands closer to her skin. The tip of her fingers lift to graze his palm just before his own presses against the top of her wrist, and Lukas allows a tiny smile to grace his lips as he ghosts his hand slowly over smooth skin, tugging the hunter's hand close until his fingers enveloped and rested on smaller digits and knuckles.

(He is cautious, for though she does not pull away with quiet alarm and shifty eyes, the lack of words and vacant expression was worrying all the same.)

There was something fragile about her hands, all soft and delicate under all the roughness that has shaped her into who she was. Strong capable hands that hold the power to her survival, to do gentle things and vicious things, hands that could injure him even, if he allowed it. (Blades of silver and metal, she had no idea of the things she could do.) It would be all too easy to take that away from her. Just one snap, a sharp twist of her thin wrist-

Lukas sighs - But he won't. - and exhales inches from the underside of her wrist.

Humans really were vulnerable.

It had been an unconscious motion as he leaned forward, beads of falling rain trickling down his mouth as he closed the distance and pressed soft lips against her pulse point. The scent of human floods him first, followed by the faint tang of wild flora and damp wood and sweat. (Nothing especially sweet or feminine like the some of the divine spirits that inhabit the woods, but he inhales it up like the finest of ambrosia, careful with his ministrations as he nuzzles and sighs against her skin.) A shuddering gasp from the hunter however, stiffens his movements. Mind finally catches up to body, and Lukas freezes, flicking his gaze up slowly to see widened gold and a cupped hand over mouth.

Regret floods his veins immediately at the fright and surprise reflected in her eyes. There was a dusting of red on her cheeks, and her breathing had turned shallow, her hands shaking with unknown emotion and uncertainty that he rued was caused by him. With a clumsy motion the Nokken moves away, his mask of grace faltering as alarm takes its place.

He hadn't meant to do that.

Look at what you have done, a voice whispers scornfully at him, and the Nokken flinches when he realises it wasn't the voice of piercing amethysts, but rather his own. Now she will run and you will be left all alone. You let your impulses get the best of you again, now you-

No, no no no..!

His grip on her loosens, and the Nokken watches with an aching chest as she pulls and stumbles away from him, the raw panic of her frazzled motions evident of the emotional state she was in. The hood of her cloak slips off as she shakes her head repeatedly with eyes staring at the ground, the rain soaking her exposed scalp greedily as her other hand rose to grip locks of burnt umber to steady her quivering frame. Raindrops splash into his eyes, and with unfocused blinks Lukas watches the image of the lake start to blur.

...

...

...

The Nokken opens his eyes and finds himself sitting in water.

There was no rain, and the ground was absent of any moistness the presence of rain would have cause. A soothing wind ruffles his hair as he stands up and watches dull flower buds sway in the breeze, but even the forest cannot comfort him over his inner strife.

He had been dreaming again, of wistful things that would never be, for how would she be able to forgive him when he makes the same mistake even in his dreams? It was almost embarrassing, how much he had come to want and depend on her presence, how much he hurt as the absence of his visitor grew longer with each passing day. The thought of another human replacement in another hundred years did not comfort him; rather, it frustrated and grieved him. There was only one person he wanted to see, and she wasn't here.

The twittering of song greets his ears, and the Nokken watches a pair of songbirds emerge from within the trees, flirting in circles around the other as they flew, singing in joy for the coupling of their love. Vibrant red and yellow feathers vanish into the branches of a sturdy maple before the Nokken returns to look at the ground, picking up his violin gently and absentmindedly stroking delicate strings that spanned the carved wood.

The forest sways again, forcing him to look up, startled, at the loud burst of chatter within the trees. Something had woke him, and now the same stirring sent restlessness coursing throughout his being as he heard the high pitched trills and noises crescendo. Branches creak and snap, and the Nokken blinks in quiet apprehension as he sees the same pair of songbirds dart out from beneath the maple tree to fly across the clearing in terror, an irate raven cawing loudly at them before giving up the chase to return to its roost on unseen branches hidden by leaves.

A bad omen?

The grip on his violin tightens as the Nokken tries to convince himself that everything was alright, but no matter the assurances he gave himself he could not take of the notion that something wasn't quite fine.

...

...

...

There was something sweet in the air, sharp and rich and piercing through the light fragrance of springtime flowers. Sheathing her hunting knife, Lien heaves the bagful of spoils over her shoulder, feeling the weight of an unfortunate quail buried in fragrant petals join a dozen handful of early spring berries (tied securely in another pouch of course) as the hardy material sways.

Siew Bao walks up to her with a flower in his mouth, tail wagging happily as she looked down at him with poorly veiled amusement. Gently she plucked the flower from his mouth and twirl it between her fingers. The scentless pale pink blossom stared back at her, and Lien smiles as a memory courses through her. She ponders on putting the flower in her hair but decides against it. Gently she lays the flower on a nearby stone and straightens up, surveying the area.

The piercing sweetness had invaded the flower strewn path, and with growing curiosity, hunter starts walking in the direction of the strong scent. The trees thin, birdsong disappearing along with it, and her unease grows as she slows down. Lien stops completely when the earth shakes, sending vibrations in the air and causing the surrounding trees to shudder. Alert ears pricked, and Siew Bao whines softly as he leaves the path and disappears behind a trunk.

Lien follows him stealthily into the trees, and the forest shifts in synchronisation with their movements, shielding them from the ears and nose of an unknown intruder. A distressed cry sounds in the distance, airy and alight with fright, and Lien steels herself as chills wreck her spine. Creeping through the undergrowth, hunter and hound peeked out of shivering leaves to the sight of a lone magnolia tree in the middle of the huge glade.

At least, what was left of it.

What once was a mighty tree was no more than just a living being clinging on to its last hope of survival. With claws sticky in the residue of sweet goo and form imposing with stature, the great beast pounded down upon the thick trunk again and again, sending bark and wood splintering into the air. The remains of an abandoned hive lay cracked and broken on the forest floor, its queen long dead and her workers long fled, dispersed and scattered into diasporas far away. With every ominous crunch and distant crack, magnolia flowers flutter to cover the empty husk still oozing with the remnants of golden honey.

The bear paid no heed to the fallen husk, grunting and heaving mighty paws to crash against the last layers of hard bark. High above in the branches of the magnolia, slender hands cling onto sturdy branches tightly, their owner watching in fear as animalistic black eyes met hers with primal hunger. With another growl the grizzly bear tears at the bark with its claws angrily, stretching its hind legs in an attempt to reach higher.

Lien sucks in a breath as wood starts creaking ominously, watching the nymph in its branches struggle to hold her balance. There was fear in her lustrous pearl eyes, and another cry of fright escaped her lips as the tree starts to lean over sideways. With fervour the bear pounds at the exposed heartwood, and hunter finds bile rise to her throat as the magnolia groans in feverish agony, branches full of blooming flowers snapping and falling onto the forest floor.

Siew Bao grunts softly, claws sinking into the damp soil as he fidgets, but he remains unmoving next to his master, ignoring his better instinct as he stands still. The nymph wails again, her lithe form scrabbling for control as sharp teeth and strong jaws gain leverage closer to her, and the forest cries in answer, leaves rustling above the sad murmuring of hush voices.

There are nymphs, Lien thinks as she squints, on the other side of the glade. Behind and within the trees, captivatingly beautiful maidens that lament and keen for their trapped sister. Their silk spun hair glow fiercely where the sun's rays touch them, but they make no move to aid the young one crying in the branches of the magnolia.

(They cannot, and that hurts the most.)

With a clammy palm hunter pets the back of her tense hound in an attempt to calm, fingers retracting quickly when another loud roar drums their ears. She is shaking, her heartbeat the only thing she can hear as she remains unmoving, and the realisation hits her like a slam to the back, knocking the breath out of her. The sensation was horrifying, and a strangled noise leaves her throat unconsciously as her fingers twitch, nails sinking harder into skin. Every shed of common sense was screaming at her to move as far away as she can. But how can she? She cannot run and expect herself to wipe the memory and thoughts of the aftermath off like nothing.

Bushes explode from the thicket to the north without warning, and ivory horns lower threateningly as they rammed into tough hide, knocking the bear away from the dying magnolia. Hunter and hound watched in awestruck fear as the latter groans, pawing its nose in irritation before blinking in newfound aggression, snarling lowly as it eyed the regal stag standing between it and its prey.

With grand stature the deer straightens to its full height, imposing antlers gleaming under the light as the bear stalked closer, hunger creeping into its black eyes. In the branches of the magnolia, the nymph watches the exchange with worrisome eyes, making no move to get down from her perch on the tree.

The bear charged. In seconds it stood over the buck, front paws raised to slash downwards. But an upward thrust by the latter knocks it back unsteadily on its hind legs. Bringing its hooves down with bone crushing pressure, a warning swipe caused the buck to rear back in alarm. Paws grip antlers in retaliation, and the clearing watches helplessly as the two kings battled for dominance.

With immerse strength bear throws buck onto the forest floor, tossing magnolia flowers into the air. Creamy white petals fall erratically as claws make to slash against flesh but scrape frustratingly on bone-crusted hardness instead. The buck grunts heavily, using its back legs to kick the bear aside, standing up and shoving its yelping opponent away as it stumbled upright. In their tussle, Lien watches the nymph fall out of the branches unsteadily, slumping onto the ground with a pained wince. She does not get up, clutching her legs in pain as her hands tried unsuccessfully to lift her body off the soft cushion of flowers several times.

The beasts have broken apart, and Lien sees the buck backing up a few steps, blocking the fallen nymph from the bear's sight. There was a cut on its side, blood dripping from it to stain its pristine russet coat, and it was breathing heavily. On the other side of the clearing the bear shakes its shaggy coat, ridding itself of the previous ache from sharp jabs. It had taken no visible damage apart from minimal bruises, and cunning eyes flash with impending victory as it took in the tired form of the lone buck.

The bear roars, incensed and eager, taking a running start towards the lone magnolia. Quickly it was intercepted, and Lien finds herself gripping her bow tightly. It was an unconscious reaction; as her shaking hand reaches back to pull an arrow out of her quiver, but the movement makes Siew Bao dart to look at her inquisitively, his tail curling and uncurling impulsively.

She blinked in surprise, and watches with an almost hazy wonder as her once paralysed fingers twitch with tense aching. Every bone in her body pulsed with the need to move. It was a flight or fight situation, and if she won't flee..

The buck would lose, that is for certain. The bear would overpower it and eventually it will die, along with the injured nymph. But maybe, just maybe, if she did this, that might change. She does not know what possesses her to want to do it. Humans owe no obligations to neither magical beings nor animals. Hunters especially, have lesser reasons to do so, and yet..

- The buck falls with its back facing hers, and she spies a faint white marking behind its ear. -

And yet.

(A memory of crystal waters lapping against stone and a clearing filled with gentle violin. A handsome face and strange curl. Corn wheat and deep blue, a cool touch, gentle and soft, longing; so much longing-)

She has never hunted bear before, but there is always a first time for everything, no matter how foolish.

Sharp claws rake against flesh as Lien bursts out of the bushes, tugging arrow on bowstrings and aiming it at black fur. The arrow pulls free, piercing the air and striking the soft belly of the tussling bear, dead centre. The subsequent roar echoes through the clearing, full of agony and rage, causing all witnesses to cringe. With gritted teeth, hunter draws another arrow and shoots, footsteps coming to a standstill a safe distance away when the bear jerks in pain.

Clumsy paws slap the protruding sticks out of its fur, and with little effort the bear stands up again, focusing its killing intent on a new target. The arrow shafts have buried themselves deep into skin, drawing blood and causing pain and irritation that it cannot get rid of, and that further incenses it.

With a ferocious snarl it runs straight towards her and Lien scrambles to get as far away as she can, making a sharp turn as she reaches for another arrow. (The sharp swerve saves her precious moments. One nanosecond less and its claw would have struck her.) She can feel hot breath behind her as she runs, and adrenaline boosts her with faster reactions as she twists, firing the arrow and watching it make contact with the bear's snout.

She lands on the ground heavily, but with a practised barrel roll she rolls herself away from the vicinity of the writhing bear. The fall has caused her to drop arrows from her quiver, and she only has a second to pull the last remaining one out of the case before a meaty paw slams her violently to the ground.

She falls but just as quickly gets back up again (because she would be damned if a few bruises put her down), locking the final arrow into the bowstring and pulling it free as the bear looms right over her. With a quick swipe of its paw the arrow is deflected and the last thing Lien sees are sharp whites, and carnal black, deep dull black that caused her heart to skip a beat before pain envelopes her entire being.

Her agonised screams resound throughout the entire clearing.

A few paces off, a single deep ominous groan echoes from within the ground, and the nymph gasps with horror as the millennium old magnolia trunk starts to topple.

...

...


A/N

Remember how at the end of last chapter Lien wished she would feel numbness instead of pain? Well foreshadowing ended up becoming true. Be careful of what you wish for kids. Suffering is an inevitable theme in this story. I don't know why or how, but it just did, and I'm not sure how to feel about it. I guess it comes with the forbidden love/differing sides trope though.

In this chapter we finally have the official introduction of my favourite character, Bambi! /shot. He is essentially the catalyst for most of the major plot progressions (and matchmaking but shh). I have waited so long for the final scene and cliff-hanger to be uploaded for viewer's enjoyment. There is literally no rest for both Nor and Viet, especially Viet. If you believe it, the fighting and gore was actually easier to write than emotional turmoil scenes.

Azaleas are the Chinese symbol of womanhood and also other things. I find it sets the NorViet relationship in this AUverse rather well. You will see why soon enough. Also, the title word is Welsh, meaning a homesickness for a place that you can never return to, a place that can never was. grief, longing, nostalgia for the lost places of your past. Ah, suffering.

Listened to Disney's The Little Mermaid ost on repeat for writing this part. Did it influence any of the scenes I wonder?

Since this chapter took very long to get out, I hope I can get the next one out faster. Next chapter is also the finale, so even more reason for you to look forward to it right? Stay on the hype train guys, we are nearing the climax.

Edited as of 20 July

This might not be the last chapter of the story. If I manage to overshot the ending, the content will be split into 2 chapters. Good news, it means more for you to read. Bad news, waiting time and hype. Take note guys, thanks!

As of 16 October

Next chapter isn't the last chapter!