Chapter 4

The next morning, Jim woke up to silence and smiled to himself. It was early, but oddly enough, he felt good. He got up and went about his morning routine, and still no peep from Bones. He peeked out to his living area and smiled a little when he saw his friend asleep on the couch.

Without delay, Jim went to the replicator and ordered two plates of waffles with a peach compote, a black coffee for himself and a hazelnut latte for McCoy.

"Hey Bones," Jim gently shook the doctor.

"The dermal regenerator is in the bag on my desk, lemme sleep," McCoy mumbled.

"No injuries this time Bones, just a nice hot latte," Jim grinned.

"Wha?" McCoy asked, finally coming out of sleep. He sat up and looked around. "Jim?"

"Yeah," Jim handed McCoy his drink and turned back to the table.

"What time is it?" McCoy got up carefully and made his way to the table.

"It's 08:15 sleepy head," Jim sat down to one of the plates and started eating.

McCoy set the cup down and grabbed his tricorder. Jim laughed and shook his head at his friend who could find nothing wrong except that Jim was actually up first and feeding him one of his favorite breakfasts.

"I feel a little shaky and feverish, but that's all," Jim explained. "You know our first talk seemed to really help a lot."

"Right," McCoy nodded, cautiously taking a seat. He didn't want to mention that he'd been up half the night talking to Spock about Taurus IV and what Christine told him about Kevin.

"Aren't I supposed to be the paranoid one?" Jim laughed. "At ease Bones, eat your breakfast."

Breakfast was nearly over when Jim's door chimed announcing a visitor. McCoy shot Jim a look, Jim shook his head that he wasn't expecting anyone.

"Come." Jim called out.

The door swished open revealing Spock and Lieutenant Riley.

"Good morning Captain, I hope we are not disturbing your breakfast." Spock spoke civilly, but it was clear to Jim that he was not in his Vulcan version of a good mood.

"Not at all Commander, Lieutenant Riley," Jim nodded. "We were just finishing breakfast. Would either of you care for tea? Coffee?"

"No, thank you. This is not a social call." Spock replied.

"I wanted to apologize for what I said yesterday Captain," Kevin finally spoke.

"Lieutenant," Jim interrupted anxiously. "Apologies are not necessary."

"Yes, they are," Kevin argued. "I was completely out of line and I am ready to accept whatever consequences you think best."

"I don't think," Jim started.

"Jim," McCoy interrupted, "I can't speak for Commander Spock, and while you might want to just let bygones be bygones, I will not stand by and let this go."

Jim didn't say anything but looked from McCoy to Kevin and back again. He crossed his arms and chewed his lip thoughtfully.

"Perhaps Captain," Spock began. "You would like some time to think it over?"

"No," Jim held out a hand, halting Spock and Kevin from leaving. "No, Bones, you're right, this needs to be dealt with."

Kevin turned to face Jim and stood ramrod straight at attention.

"At ease Lieutenant," Jim smiled thinly. After Kevin relaxed, Jim continued. "Over the past few days I have said and done some things that I really regret."

"Me too Captain," Kevin tried to interrupt, but Jim stopped him.

"No Kevin. You told me only what I sorely needed to hear. You made me see the truth of who I had become and the harm I was doing. I hope that you don't regret what you've said. Albeit, you may have gone overboard, but my ego can handle the hit." Jim turned away and started pacing a bit.

"Even still, I am sorry to have been so cruel," Kevin commented.

"Under normal circumstances, I would put you on report and be done with the situation, but these are not normal circumstances. How can I expect my superiors to not report me, and then I not do the same for you?"

"Jim," McCoy tried to intervene again, but realized his protest would fall on deaf ears.

"Kevin, I'll let this one go one time and neither you or I will ever speak of it again to each other or to anyone else," Jim turned to face Kevin again. "I know right now, you don't like me, heck, you probably hate me. I know I have broken your trust." Jim paused for a moment and licked his lips.

"What I need to know from you is that regardless of everything I am still your Captain and you will give me the respect that my position demands, and allow me to try to earn back your trust."

"Of course Captain," Kevin nodded, swallowing thickly.

"We've got a difficult bridge to rebuild, but I hope it isn't burned completely," Jim stuck out his hand.

"Not completely sir," Kevin nodded and took Jim's hand and shook on it.

"I need to report to the Bridge and, Ensign, I believe you need to report to Engineering?" Spock finally spoke up.

"Yes sir," Kevin nodded.

The two left to report to their individual stations and Jim let out a hefty sigh.

"What you lack in common sense, you sure make up for in diplomacy," McCoy scoffed and gathered the dishes.

"I did the right thing Bones, even if you don't agree." Jim declared blinking a few times.

McCoy turned around to see Jim shake his head slightly. "You okay Jim?"

"Yeah, I'm fine but my quarters need to stop moving." Jim took one faltering step towards the table and stumbled forward, knocking over a chair in the process.

"Jim," McCoy exclaimed, dropping the dishes and running to the Captain's side.

"I'm…I'm okay, just a little dizzy." Jim murmured.

"You might have a concussion," McCoy muttered, noticing the welt forming on Jim's forehead, wishing his tricorder was within reach.

"What else is new," Jim muttered.

"Lets get you over to the couch," McCoy suggested, helping Jim find his way to his feet. They were almost up when Jim's breakfast suddenly came back up all over the front of his shirt, McCoy's arm and the floor. Groaning, Jim fell back to the floor.

"It's okay Jim, you're okay." McCoy soothed, allowing Jim to lay back down.

"I'm so…sorry," Jim cried softly. "I am weak. I am so weak."

"No Jim, you're strong, you're gonna be fine. I'm right here." McCoy positioned Jim into a safe position. "Just sit here for a second."

McCoy raced to get a glass of water, a towel and his tricorder. After wiping Jim's face and offering him a drink, he wiped his own arm off.

"Bones, I'm sorry I threw up on you." Jim whimpered.

"Relax Jim," Bones smiled. "I had a couple years experience with Joanna, then you and Starfleet came into my life. I've been thrown up on before. I'll live." He ran the tricorder over Jim a couple times. "Slight concussion, but nothing serious. The dizziness and nausea are to be expected. Let's get you to the couch, unless you feel sick again?"

"No, I think I'll be okay." Jim struggled to get back to his feet, but McCoy slid a comforting arm around him and eased Jim to the couch.

It wasn't two seconds after Jim had sat down when the familiar feeling returned to his stomach. "Oh Bones," Jim gave what warning he could before being sick again. With watery eyes, he looked up at his friend. "Allergies be damned, give me something, anything." he begged.

"No Jim, we'll go to the bathroom, but I'm sorry to say you're just going to have to ride this out."

"You're a sadistic bastard," Jim muttered as McCoy gently led him towards the bathroom.

"Yeah, yeah," McCoy replied. "Just because you're in pain, doesn't mean you need to be a pain."

Jim looked up at McCoy with hurt in his eyes. He pushed McCoy away from him and grabbed the door frame to steady himself. "If that's how you really feel then get out."

"I'm not leaving you Jim," McCoy sighed.

"I'm a pain, you said so yourself," Jim spat and maneuvered his way to the toilet. "Just get the fuck out of here."

McCoy backed out of the bathroom giving Jim a bit of privacy and instantly regretting his words. He stood on the other side of the door listening. After a couple bouts of Jim dry heaving, McCoy knocked on the door. "Jim?"

He heard Jim turn the faucet on and then spit a few times. "Jim," he repeated.

"What're you still doing here?" Jim asked when he finally opened the door.

"I need to talk to you," McCoy took Jim by the arm when he saw his friend still stumbling. As he guided Jim back to bed, he continued. "When I said…what I said earlier. I didn't mean it, and it was a poor choice of words."

"No it isn't, I know I'm a pain," Jim tried to fight.

"Okay, but you're my pain, and you wouldn't be Jim without being a bit of a pain. You're my best friend and Jesus Jim, I know what you're going through is tough, but I'm just trying to keep up with your mood swings. I know you can't help it." McCoy continued as he handed Jim a fresh pair of pants and a t-shirt. "I was up late last night getting some stuff done."

"Why don't you go back to your own quarters and get some sleep then while I rest," Jim suggested. Noticing McCoy's doubtful expression he added, "trust me Bones, I feel like shit, I'm not going to be running around the ship."

As good as sleep sounded to him and as much as he could see that Jim wouldn't be getting himself into trouble, McCoy still had his doubts. Getting some real sleep was just too tempting however. Suddenly an idea came to him. "Okay Jim, you get some sleep and I will see you later this afternoon and we'll talk some more."

After making sure Jim was comfortable and that the concussion wasn't any threat, McCoy slipped out of the room and to the communicator. "McCoy to Lieutenant Commander Scott?"

"Scott here Doc," Scotty answered quickly. "What can I do for ye?"

"Is Keenser busy by chance?" McCoy asked softly, hoping Jim wouldn't overhear.

"The little Bugger is just helping me with some maintenance work, do ye need him in Sickbay?"

"Jim's quarters actually," McCoy requested. "Just for a few hours to make sure Jim stays in bed. I need a little shut eye, but I am not comfortable leaving Jim alone. I know he and Keenser have some sort of weird little friendship and if he would just alert me if Jim gets sick again or decides to try to go looking for trouble."

"Oh Keenser would do a good job at tha'," Scotty chuckled.

"I don't mean that he has to just sit in Jim's room and watch him," McCoy added. "That would just be scary. No, he can read or I don't know, build something if he wants, just keep an eye and ear out for Jim."

"No problem Doc," Scotty replied. "He is on his way up with a puzzle he's been working on for weeks."

"Thank you Scotty, McCoy out."

At 1215, Christine was worried. Normally Jim was fairly prompt, but she knew McCoy was running a tight ship and if he said lunch was at 1200, lunch was at 1200. She wasn't expecting Keenser to be on the other side of Jim's door when she chimed.

"Keenser, where is Doctor McCoy?"

"Doctor sleeping, Keenser watch Captain," Keenser said with a bit of pride.

Christine hurried past Keenser. "Jim?" She called out.

"Captain is sleep 3.62 hour," Keenser warned hurrying behind her.

Christine went to Jim's room and sighed with relief to see Jim in bed, snoring softly.

"Did good?" Keenser looked up at Christine for approval.

"Yes, thank you Keenser," Christine smiled and led him back out to the living area. "Why don't you go on back to Engineering, and I will watch Jim for a while."

"Keenser needs sandwich first."

"Okay, whatever," Christine waved a distracted hand at Keenser as he let himself out. She went back into Jim's room and ran a tricorder scan over him. An elevated temperature was all she found, but the stain in the living area told her, Jim had been sick earlier. "Jim," she shook him gently.

"Mhmm?" Jim moaned softly.

"Can you wake up for me please," Christine dimmed the lights in the room. She couldn't understand why McCoy would have left them on at 100%.

"I'm awake," Jim rolled on to his back and tried to sit up.

"Easy now," Christine instructed, helping him prop a pillow up.

"This is nice," Jim tried to tease through his half awake dizzy state. "I could use this kind of wake-up call every day."

"Nice try Captain," Christine laughed softly. "I just want to try to have you eat a little something, then you can go back to sleep."

"Please no food," Jim moaned and clutched his stomach.

"How about just a little soup broth," she suggested.

"Then how about I just throw up a little." Jim pouted.

"Len wants you to be eating three meals a day."

"I'm not going to win am I?" Jim guessed.

"Nope," Christine smiled warmly and went to get the soup. As they sat eating, Jim felt the pain in his stomach still as strong as ever, but he fought against it.

"You know Chris," this morning was awful, but I realized something while you were out getting the soup," Jim commented when there was a lull in the conversation.

"What's that Jim?"

"As long as I keep trying, I am not failing."

"That's right Jim, just keep trying." Christine took the two empty bowls and set them aside. She helped Jim back down so that he could go back to sleep. "You just rest, and Doctor McCoy will be back up here in a little bit."

Jim nodded slightly and closed his eyes. The death grip on his pillow was the only outward sign she could see of Jim's internal pain. Though she didn't know the full story, she knew Jim had the strength to get through whatever his body was fighting against.