Shakily, Elizabeth made her way into his room and shut the blinds; she needed privacy for this. The bandage on his head made him seem so weak, so fragile – she was almost too scared to go near him for fear of breaking him. Tentatively, she sat on the end of his bed and clutched his hand and stroked it.
'Hi. It's me. Elizabeth. No idea if you can hear me, maybe it's probably better that you can't – I'm tired and I don't really know what I'm saying, but I wanted to be here. With you. No doubt the rumour mill is going into overdrive out there, Doctor Weir all alone with Colonel Sheppard. Anyway, you came through the surgery – of course you did, why else would I be here? Well, you came through it...well. No brain damage – they shaved a bit of your hair off, but I'm sure you'll forgive them.' Elizabeth paused and squeezed his hand, 'I was so scared when I saw you like that in the control room. I guess it brought a few facts home. Not least that you aren't some super hero who can take on anyone, no matter what the odds, and come back unscathed. I always told you to double knot your laces and, being John Sheppard, you never listened. That's not important now though. So, I was saying...seeing you like that it scared me and all I could think was, 'I wish I'd told him how I feel'. So I'm telling you John. I'm telling you how I feel.' Elizabeth took a deep breath, 'It doesn't really stop hurting, does it? When you love somebody so selflessly, so intensely. I can't remember a day when I haven't thought about quitting so we can be together – there's even a resignation letter in my desk. I know you'd never let me go through with it though, and I know that I could never give you that ultimatum – that's why I feel like this in the first place. The resignation letter. I wrote it on the day when I found out about you and that girl. If you were awake, I'm sure you'd deny it, but I know. I know you slept with her. And why shouldn't you? You're an attractive, single man. I know that.' Elizabeth sighed, 'It's just that I'd rather foolishly allowed myself to believe that in not being together we'd still remain loyal to one another. So I wrote that resignation letter all ready to return to earth with the hope that you would die a painful death by Wraith, well maybe not that cruel, but some gentle torture would have been appreciated, and then Ben Hill walked into my office needing help and he provided a welcome diversion – gave me a chance to get my thoughts clear. I'm not in a relationship with him, John. I know you've wondered – I've seen it in your face and maybe I let you believe that to punish you which was wrong of me. He's been a good friend John. Both him and Radek. When we split up, it only seemed fair to let you have our friends – they're your team after all and I don't resent that, I am truly glad that you have a group of such good people to support you. And, part of me was scared of facing them, given that we'd been lying to them for months.' Elizabeth held his limp hand to her cheek and kissed it. 'I love you and I realise you probably still know that, it just feels like a long time since I told you. I wish so much that you would open your eyes and say you love me too, there's even a flicker of hope inside me now that you will, but Carson says you won't be coming round for a few hours yet. When you're wake up, I will be here for you. The IOA can go to hell, because you're going to need me. John, when you wake up, you are probably going to never wish you did. It wasn't just your head that was damaged in the explosion, you spine was damaged and, Carson can explain the ins and outs, your left leg is paralysed. There is an operation, but the chances are slim and Carson wants to make sure you're sure of what you are doing before committing to an operation which could potentially leave your spine even more damaged. Whatever happens though, and whatever you decide, I want you to know that I will be right by your side.'