Alicia flopped onto her sofa. She had been on her feet all day and although by now she was used to it, the feeling of finally settling down in your own home at the end of a long shift was still extremely satisfying. For some time after the events of the past few months, Alicia had felt uncomfortable in her own home, to the point where it had simply become the house that she lived in, there was nothing homely about it at all and he had done that, he had taken away that comfort from her. Since her colleague and mentee Bea had moved in, however, things had started to look that little bit brighter. It was nice, having company. Having a house all to herself had never really bothered Alicia before, in fact, she relished the idea, but after that one night, the fear of loneliness gripped her like an icy, unforgiving hand. Sure, it had not been easy getting used to sharing her home but she had done. Her and Bea became extremely close and Alicia had finally come to trust her enough to confide the events of that one, harrowing night. She thought she could do it on her own, she really did. "Things always look better in the morning," her mother told her at the age of ten, when she had fallen out with her school friend. In that one particular case and on many other occasions, she had been right but not this time. Not the one time when Alicia hoped and prayed that she would be. Her secret had suffocated her for weeks on end whilst carrying alone drained all her energy. People had noticed, of course they had, Alicia knew that they would, yet she did not feel able to tell them why she was suddenly no longer the bright, bouncy, cheerful Doctor Munroe and had instead been reduced to a distant and isolated shadow of her former self. All she knew now was how lucky she was to have her friends by her side and she could not help but thinking how alone Esme must feel. Whatever trauma she had endured in these past few months, or even years, Alicia did not know, she was carrying it single-handedly just as Alicia had done with her own secret. Alicia knew that the feeling once that secret had been shared was far from contented but was a much better feeling than that of carrying such a heavy and painful burden. She decided at that moment that she was going to be there for Esme, she was going to be the friend that Bea had been to her, if she could.

"I can almost hear those cogs turning!" Bea's unmistakeable Irish lilt spoke from the doorway. She entered the room, her freshly-washed, still damp hair over one shoulder, and sat down on the other sofa. "You alright?"

"Yes, yes. I was just thinking about Esme, that's all." Alicia replied.

"You did good with her today." Bea told her with a warm smile. "Anyway, how are you doing?" She asked. This was something that Bea made a point of doing every once in a while, asked Alicia how she was doing or how she was feeling and Alicia in turn returned the gesture. It was their way of ensuring that neither of them had to deal with any issue or negative feeling on their own ever again. Between the two of them, they had done enough of that to last them both several lifetimes. They had each other's friendship now and there was no need to hide anything.

"Not bad." Alicia said, not willing to expand on that statement.

"Alicia?" Bea asked knowingly. Alicia sighed.

"My mam came into the ED today. She's called and texted me every day and I've not responded because I know that she will know something's wrong." She began. "Anyway, she knew the second she saw me but I can't, I can't tell her about everything, can I?" She explained.

"Can't you?" Bea questioned. "Alicia, she's your mum. I think she would want to know."

"I just don't know how she'll react and everything with Esme…there's just so much going on at the moment. So much I'm trying to figure out how to deal with." Alicia admitted.

"I know, I know." Bea reassured her friend. "Just try not to get too involved with Esme. She'll be transferred to the wards in the next couple of days."

"Bea, how can I not get involved? She's got no-one and I think, I hope, that she is starting to trust me. She said that her uncle took away her hearing aids and her iPad, her only means of having a voice and when I asked her about him, she told me to stop. What does that say to you?" Alicia had raised her voice without realising. She was frustrated. Frustrated about everything. Frustrated that she did not have the guts to tell her own mother how much she had suffered recently, frustrated that she did not yet have enough of Esme's trust for her to tell her what suffering she had been through and was currently going through and frustrated that Bea, her closest friend and confidante, was telling her not to get involved.

"Look, I'm not saying don't get involved, that came out wrong. Sometimes we just can't help it. What I am saying is just be careful, okay? Don't get too attached." Bea warned her gently.

"I know, sorry, I didn't mean to snap."

"It's alright. It's been a long day." Bea glanced at her watch. "We've got a night shift tomorrow." She stated. "Do you reckon it's possible to sleep for twenty-two hours straight?" She asked with a grin and a cheeky glint in her eye. "Because right now I think I need it!" Alicia giggled.

"Not without sedation." She replied. "And if you break the 'no more than five units of alcohol a day except for on special occasions' rule then I will have to throw you out." Alicia grinned back.

"Oh you drive a hard bargain Doctor Munroe! Anyway, I think I can hear my bed calling me so I'm going to head on up. See you in the morning." Bea said, getting up and leaving the room.

"Goodnight, Bea." Alicia said. She listened to the creaking of the stairs as Bea made her way up and when she had heard her finally go into her room and shut the door, she made tracks for her own bed and settled down for the night.

It was midday and Alicia was sat by Esme's bed, just as she had been several days previously. She had only arrived ten minutes ago and she had found the girl sleeping peacefully and dared not wake her. Alicia was not on shift until the evening but she needed to come in, she needed to be there for Esme. She had left her housemate fast asleep, or at least she assumed she had, as she had not seen or heard Bea at all that morning. Alicia knew that if she told Bea where she was going, she would almost certainly try and talk her out of it.

After a little while, Esme stirred and slowly opened her eyes before turning her head to face Alicia. She clenched her fist and held up her thumb, moving it side to side a couple of times* and then held up her left palm and touched her thumb with the index finger of her right hand**.

"Hi." Alicia smiled. Esme used the same swiping motion over her palm as she had used the previous day and pointed to her iPad, which was charging just out of reach next to her bed. "You want your iPad?" She nodded. "Okay, hang on." Alicia said, getting up, unplugging the device and passing it to Esme. As she had done before, Esme quickly got to work typing and then pressed a button.

"You not wearing doctor clothes today." She observed. Alicia laughed.

"No." She said. "I'm not working until later." Esme took a moment to process what she had been told before typing out something else.

"Then why you here?" She questioned.

"Because I know what it's like to feel alone." Alicia took a breath before continuing. "And I'd hate for you to feel that way. We all need a friend, Esme, but I can go if you want me to."

"Don't leave me!" Esme typed quickly. At that moment, Elle entered the room, surprised to see Alicia there. Esme immediately tensed as she watched the new visitor enter the room. Alicia took the girl's hand and squeezed it comfortingly.

"Doctor Munroe. I wasn't expecting to see you here." Elle stated.

"Sorry, Elle. I just wanted to check on Esme." Alicia explained.

"Okay, well whilst you're here, can I have a word outside please?" She asked. Alicia obliged, reassuring Esme that she would be back really soon, and stepped outside with her superior colleague. "I thought you might like to know that we can find no relatives for Esme other than her uncle but we're putting off contacting him for as long as we can until we find out the whole story." Elle began. Alicia nodded. "We now have Esme's full medication list and she seems to be taking the tablets with no problem. We just have to leave them on the table and she comes and takes them in her own time. Paeds have managed to finally make a bed available for her so all being well we should be able to move her tonight. I have also spoken to audiology and they are going to come and assess Esme and provide some replacement hearing aids." Elle stopped for a moment.

"What? What is it, Elle?" Alicia asked, sensing her colleague's reluctance to reveal the information.

"Esme is on the waiting list for a heart transplant, she has been for the past five months." Elle revealed. Alicia let out a defeated sigh.

"I knew her heart was bad but I didn't realise…"

"No, none of us did." Elle reassured her. "We're not specialists but I wouldn't be surprised if she was kept in now until a heart is found for her." Alicia desperately wanted to say if but knew that she had to remain positive for Esme's sake. "How much of this do you think she would understand? We have to tell her something.

"She's pretty switched on." Alicia analysed. "I think she understands a lot more than we realise. Do you want me to tell her?" She offered. Elle smiled gratefully. Alicia had got there before she had.

"If you wouldn't mind, Alicia, please?" Alicia, of course, did not mind in the least and had a feeling that Esme would take the news better from her than she would anyone else at the moment. She re-entered the room and Esme looked at her inquisitively. She seated herself down on the bed next to the girl. "Esme, I have some news. Doctor Gardner, the doctor I just went to talk to, has managed to find you a bed on the children's ward." A look of horror spread over Esme's face.

"You send me away?" She asked, tears beginning to form in her hazel eyes.

"No, no!" Alicia replied quickly. "We're not sending you away at all."

"No-one want me. Uncle Stan said and he right." Esme continued, no longer concentrating on what Alicia was telling her. "I thought you my friend."

"Esme, Esme look at me." Alicia said firmly, gently taking hold of the child's shoulders. It was too late. She was too far gone. Her whole body was once again trembling violently and Alicia knew what came next, though did not know how to stop it. Esme sprung from her bed, fell to her knees in a corner of the room and screamed endlessly once more.

Signalong Language:

*Hello

**A (for Alicia)