Chapter Four
Miranda's head whipped around towards Gordo, but she looked only for a second before she ran to the doors, just as a worker set her smoothie on the counter. Gordo went after Miranda, telling the worker he'd pay for the smoothie. Although ecstatic to see his friend again, he still had some resentment towards her. He almost wanted to let her go, but he reminded himself that it had been four years since he and Lizzie saw her; he couldn't let her leave again.
"Miranda!" Gordo shouted, chasing her down the sidewalk. "Miranda Sanchez, it's me Gordo."
She started to speed walk, getting farther away. He did not want to lose track of her so he sprinted. When he caught up to her, he stood behind her and panted.
"Miranda," he said her name again. She stopped in her tracks and he thought she was going to turn around.
"Miranda," he said for a third time. He closed his eyes. "Miranda, I missed you."
He expected her to disappear, but when his eyes opened he looked at Miranda face to face; Gordo's eyes didn't believe what he saw. Miranda Isabelle Sanchez, standing in front of him, in Hillridge, by the Digital Bean.
"You missed me?" Miranda finally spoke.
"Wait, you're actually talking to me?"
Miranda blinked. "You missed me?" she repeated.
Gordo looked at the ground. "Yeah, a lot," he said.
Having not spoken in four years, they had forgotten how to speak to each other and they stood, not moving. Gordo had many things to say to her, many questions to ask, but the words couldn't form in his mouth. He could tell Miranda wanted to say something too because she opened her mouth a few times, but nothing came out. There was wall between Gordo and Miranda; a four year old wall so thick, Gordo couldn't see her. He couldn't see Miranda as the same person she was before. He just saw her as the girl who left.
"I gotta go," Miranda stammered, walking past Gordo.
"Wait, Miranda you're seriously not leaving again are you?"
"I'm sure you're doing just fine without me. You've got Lizzie."
"Did you not hear me? I said I missed you."
Miranda crossed her arms. "How do I know you're not just saying that so you can get me back in your life again?"
"Because you should know me Miranda. I'm telling the truth."
"I have to go, please."
"Hold on." Gordo stopped her again. "Can we talk? You know catch up at the Digital Bean?"
"I can't."
"Well can you at least say hello to Lizzie? She'd go hysterical if she saw you."
"I'd rather catch up at the Digital Bean."
Gordo smiled. "So does that mean you want to?"
"I guess so," she agreed halfway. Gordo swore he saw a tiny smile peeking on her face.
He led the way back inside the Digital Bean, opening the door for Miranda again. On the counter, her smoothie still waited for her that Gordo promised to pay. He gave the waiter the money and brought the drink to where Miranda had already seated herself.
"I like your hair," Gordo complimented as he slid into the booth.
Miranda looked down. "Thanks," she muttered. "But where's your drink?"
"I'm good. I just want to talk."
Miranda spun the glass cup on the table, staring down. "I don't know what to say."
"How about you start by telling me what you're doing back in Hillridge?"
Miranda twirled the straw around in her smoothie, copying Gordo's actions from the previous day without knowing. She did that for a minute before answering.
"I moved back here yesterday," she revealed.
Gordo widened his eyes. That had to be fate. First, he went to the Digital Bean for the first time in a long time and Miranda's journal showed up. Then after reading some of the entries, the next day he found out Miranda had moved back to Hillridge. All the events seemed to have happened for a reason. Going back to that cafe led him to the journal, and the journal led to Miranda. Everything would be right once Gordo could tell Lizzie that their best friend returned.
"Okay that's crazy cause yesterday Lizzie and I went to the Digital Bean for the first time in four years and now you're here."
"You haven't been to the Digital Bean in four years?" The disbelief in Miranda's voice oddly made Gordo sad. His face grew serious and plain.
"It's because of you, you know."
"Me?"
"The memories. They were too painful for Lizzie and I."
Miranda's eyes stared into the cup for a moment before shifting them back at Gordo. "How is she anyway?"
"She's doing fine. You know we're together now." Gordo braced himself, thinking Miranda would run out.
"That's great. I'm very proud of you."
"Thank you Miranda."
"But that's the very reason why I left," she said, sliding out of the booth.
"What do you mean?" Gordo went after her again. "Miranda, why do you keep leaving?"
She almost opened the Digital Bean door, but spun around to give a final comment before exiting. "I'll be around Gordo, I just can't do this right now."
"Miranda!" Gordo yelled as he watched her walk out. He slammed his fist on a table near by, then knew he had only one thing to do. Gordo went home to his apartment to read the journal because Miranda hinted why she left and he hoped there was an entry that explained it better. He flipped to the current page he was on and skimmed through the words, but all he read were things of little sister trouble, boring things Miranda did that day, and some random thoughts, but for some reason, she took a pause on writing about him.
"Come on," Gordo said, flipping the pages aggressively. He stopped when he found a page that said it all.
November 29, 2002
I've had enough! Do I matter anymore? Lizzie and Gordo are getting closer every minute. I feel so left out. I feel like I've been forgotten, mainly by Gordo. I want to hangout with him alone. I just want to talk to him, but we don't do that anymore. I miss him and he never even left. I feel like Gordo is being taking away from me. I feel like I don't know him as much as I did before. I thought I was getting closer to him at the start of eighth grade, but it's the total opposite. I'm not being selfish. I'm not! I just... I'm starting to... I'm about to cry, so I don't think I can write anymore.
After reading that, Gordo closed the journal and shut his eyes. He lay stretched out on the couch and gripped his scalp, digging his fingers deep. Pulling his curls, Gordo let out a frustrated growl. Miranda's words hit him so hard. He wanted to cry himself. He felt guilty, because now he knew Miranda left because of him. It made sense; everything he'd read in her journal. Gordo had been a reoccurring theme. She wrote about wanting to spend time with him alone and feeling like a third wheel between Lizzie and him. Miranda was his best friend, but Gordo didn't act like one in the eighth grade. He spent that whole school year figuring out his crush on Lizzie and because if that, his life missed four years without Miranda. She had been the ultimate third wheel victim.
November 30th, 2002
So I've been wondering, why not me? I thought I was his best friend too. I see him everyday at school. I'm in all of his classes and he's known me for quite some time. While I may not be as cute and cool as Lizzie, I'm not totally out of the question. Right?
So what did that mean? Gordo collectively put all he'd read together. She pretty much asked him to the Sadie Hawkins dance. She got excited if they ever got to be alone and that one time when Lizzie got that busboy job, Miranda enjoyed the time they spent together. Just them.
In the entry he just read, Miranda compared herself to Lizzie and wondered why not her? What did that mean? And why did Miranda say she may not be as cute and cool as Lizzie? Gordo didn't have to like Miranda as more than a friend to demolish that statement. She was pretty too and very cool.
If Gordo interpreted the entry correctly, and he put everything together, then there was one thing in that journal she forgot to write about. To confirm it, he'd have to talk to Miranda again. The problem was, Gordo forgot to asks where in Hillridge she moved. How the heck would he be able to find her? He'd have to go search and that's what he did.
Gordo snatched his car keys off the kitchen table and practically flew to the door. He opened it and to his astonishment, there she stood in the hall of the apartment complex. They made direct eye contact.
"I'm ready to talk," Miranda spoke.