Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

Chapter 4 – Second chance

Damn. I told myself not to think about this anymore. Concentrate hard, Bella!

I hopped onto my bed and took out my new textbooks this year. I was requested to stay home until I completely recovered, so the new school year started without me. It was now nearly two weeks after the first day of school, and I still couldn't catch up with everyone else, though helpful little Alice came here every single day after school to tutor me.

But fortunately, Carlisle said I could go to school starting tomorrow, thank God!

I have been thinking over and over this problem since the day I got my second chance. Not everybody was as lucky as I was, the doctor had said. It was a miracle for me to survive under that knife. And that was why I eventually understood that what a stupid and reckless act committing suicide was. That was not the end of the world, Alice told me. She was right, you know. There lots of other guys outside, though I would always love Edward and nobody could ever replace him.

*I believed everyone deserves a second chance. And here I am, holding and grasping mine hard, there's no way I'm ever going to let go of it. I am now the new Isabella Marie Swan.*

* * * * *

The air was so fresh and clean, with the smell of flowers flowing. I haven't stepped out of the house for nearly 2 weeks. I stopped and closed my eyes to feel the cool autumn breeze before walking down the porch to my old, red truck.

I hopped on it and started the engine. I turned my head to look back at my house. Everything was so lovely; why haven't I ever noticed them before?

I walked into the school through the front door and spotted a familiar blonde passing by.

"Hi, Rosalie." I waved to her with a friendly smile on my face.

"Oh, Bella! Welcome back!" She exclaimed and ran towards me and embraced me tightly.

I haven't seen Rosalie for a real long time. As far as I remembered, the last time I saw her was that damned night after practice. She was a cheerleader too, like me and Alice, and was a year older than us.

Wow. I've never noticed that her hair smelled so good, just like… rose.

"Your hair smells so sweet," I said to her honestly.

I haven't been praising people for ages, I couldn't believe that I was actually doing something like that.

Surely, Rosalie seemed shocked but delighted, "Thanks! You looked better too."

She was right. I checked myself in front of the mirror today before coming out; I looked much better, at least I've got healthy rosy red cheeks and thick, brown curls.

"BELLA!" A familiar voice cried.

I could never have mistaken this enthusiastic and high-pitched voice since I nearly heard it a few times a day.

"Bella!" Alice bounced to my side and crushed her body against mine. We laughed.

Our laughter was so magical, like jingle bells ringing; I loved hearing it so much that I laughed some more.

"Let's go and have a party! Yay! Celebrations!" Alice said with obvious excitement. She immediately pulled out her expensive cell phone, which was always the latest model of the season, and started typing messages.

"Party… at… my house… tonight… send… to everyone…" she muttered as she typed in a rush. It totally took her less than five seconds! I could never be able to do that, but Alice's kind of an expert at texting. She'd probably be the fastest person in typing texts in the whole school.

"Yay! Can't wait! I've got to go shopping for a dress!" Rose squealed joyfully right before her cell buzzed.

"Excuse me…" She fished her glossy red mobile out of her red handbag and checked the caller. Smiling mysteriously, she blushed and walked away. "Hi, Emmett," I heard her said.

I widened my eyes and looked at Alice, who was a bit awkward.

"What? They're going out? Since when? Why haven't you told me before?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yeah… Emmett managed to get Rose finally…" she said warily.

"What it is?"

"I'm afraid you might start crying again,"

I laughed. "Why the hell would I do that? I want Emmett and I'm jealous of Rose?"

"No… 'Cause, you know, you and… Edward…" she stammered. "I jus fear you might get angry… when the others… fall in love… and…"

I let out a laugh again; "Relax, Alice! I got over that already and I'm okay right now. It's not illegal for the others to love when I can't, right? This is my second chance and I have to cherish it this time. Don't worry." I patted her head.

Then Alice smiled, showing all her flashing white teeth.

The bell rang and I slipped my hand through her elbow and said, "C'mon, let's get to class."

* * * * * * * *

I said goodbye to my friends as I headed to Biology. They seemed pretty anxious and I completely knew what they were thinking.

"I'm going to be alright, really," I assured them.

Confidently, I walked into the classroom. The teacher wasn't here yet but half of the class was already sitting on their seats waiting. Then, I did something I've never done in my life, waved and smiled widely to the people I knew.

They all responded; yet surprised.

I skipped to my seat and hummed a happy tune to myself; Edward wasn't here yet. I took out my Biology books and my new stuffed doll, which Alice gave it to me as an encouragement. This doll is actually too big; it's five feet tall and I've got to carry it with both hands. But it was so cute and lovely, just like Alice. She was such a great friend and I was lucky to have her, why haven't I noticed that before?

Someone sat down beside me and I looked up; it was Mike Newton.

"Hi, Bella," he smiled carefully.

"Hey, Mike, how ya doing?" I said cheerfully.

"Look, I'm really, really sorry about that night. I totally didn't mean to… do that. I really thought you were Jess. I've heard you broke up with… him… and you nearly… died… It was all my fault." He looked so guilty that I wanted to give him a hug.

So I slightly put my arms around him and gave him a squeeze.

"It's okay, Mike, we were drunk at that time. And if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't have had this second chance and got to know myself better. I wouldn't have known my imperfections." I patted him.

"Excuse me," A musical voice said softly. I jumped in fright and we immediately let go of each other. Feeling kind of guilty, I raised my head to see Edward, my former angel. My heart stopped beating for a second, but restarted pretty soon. I guessed I finally got over that.

Uh-oh.

We didn't want anymore misunderstanding, did we?

"Guess I'll talk to you later, Bella," Mike panicked and left quickly. Damn Mike.

"Sure." I replied him awkwardly as Edward sat down next to me.

Horrible silence...

It was like the first time we met, our first conversation…

"So," Edward eventually broke the ice. "How's your wound?"

"Completely recovered." I beamed at him nervously, trying very hard not to cry.

He looked relieved but astonished, probably thinking I might cry again; Slowly, he grinned.

"Did you know we're cutting frogs open today? I can't wait," he said.

"I knew that, I've already read the whole book at home so I'm sure going to beat you this time!" I answered in pride.

"What? Did you remember I got full mark at the last quiz and you nearly failed?" he teased.

"So what? I really will beat you this time! I'm betting it on fifty bucks!"

"You're on! I'm not afraid of you!"

We laughed together like nothing ever happened between us.

And when I admired his handsome smiling face, I couldn't help but dropped a tear on the table.

* * * * * *

"Have you made your choice yet?" asked Alice, for nearly a zillion times.

"Sorry, no," I replied apologetically.

I just didn't feel like shopping, though I had always shopped every weekend, even sometimes after school. However, nothing has caught my eye this time. So Weird. Did this have anything to do with my suicide incident?

Then I suddenly spotted it.

"Whoopee! That's it! That's the one!" I screamed frantically and pointed at a pure white mini dress, which was put out in display of a shop, with a trembling index finger.

Finally, I found something good enough to buy. All the others have done their shopping except me.

I ran into the shop in full speed, with Alice, Rosalie, Angela, Jessica and Edward following. Edward was tagging along us because Alice made him to. And Alice wanted him to come just because she thought we might need someone strong enough to help us carry our brand new stuff. Poor him. He was at least carrying 8 dresses, 9 pairs of high heels, 2 pairs of leggings and a lot of accessories.

I grabbed a shop assistant's hand and said loudly in her ear, "Excuse me! I want to try out that dress! Now!"

She looked scared of my bewildered behavior and quickly took the dress off the hooker and gave it to me. Once I got my hands on the perfect dress, I rushed into the shop's fitting room.

I locked the door and ripped away my T-shirt and skirt. After hanging my clothes on the wall, I put the mini dress on immediately. I looked into the full-length mirror excitedly.

Wow! Just… just look! Omigosh! It was SO GORGEOUS on me! It was only a simple white dress with some frilly trims, I knew, but it fitted my body shape so well: the dress totally showed my perfect breasts, slim waist, and long legs. Well, mine were not as long as Rose's, I admitted. But still, it matched with my thick, brown curls! Moreover, it was off the shoulder, so I looked completely sexy and appealing; yet elegant. With my pair of white laced 4 inches high heels at home, I would be simply flawless. Oh my God. Was this dress designed FOR ME PERSONALLY?!

"Bella? Come out and let us see it!" Alice knocked my door impatiently.

I quickly unlocked the door and stepped out of the small changing room. I could feel everyone's eyes on me. I broadened my grin with confidence and swirled to let everybody admire my dress in all directions.

"Perfect!" Rosalie gasped.

"You got it!" exclaimed Alice.

"Oh, you are making me so envy, Bella!" Jess cried.

And Angela simply smiled. She was always so gentle and quiet, but I knew she was happy for me whole-heartedly.

I glanced over at Edward. He didn't seem delighted, though. He even looked away when our eyes met. I swore I even saw a shade of dismay on his face.

Then, ding! I knew what's wrong.

But the dress was so beautiful. A voice sighed in my head.

Don't forget, Bella Swan! This is your second chance! You wanna waste it?! Another voice rang, full of threat.

Oh, right. The first voice surrendered.

Frowning, I stomped back into the fitting room and ripped the dress off me violently.

When I came out, with the two voices in my head still arguing and struggling, I handed it back to the shop assistant.

"Are you sure you won't take it?" the shop assistant asked curiously and disappointedly.

I sighed. "No, thanks."

"Hey! What's wrong with it?" Alice demanded.

"I just… felt not so right in it. Maybe I'll just wear my black one at home."

"What?! That one again?" Alice asked in disbelief.

"What's wrong with that?"

"I know you loved it, but you just cannot wear it over and over again." Alice said. "I swear I've seen you wearing that black dress more than 10 times!"

"You're so exaggerate."

"No, I'm not! I'm only saying the truth, Bella!" In fury, Alice almost yelled.

"No, no, no! I won't buy that white dress, okay? I'm happy in my black one!" I shouted back.

"But…" Alice pulled me aside, away from the others. "But tonight is your chance to make it up to Edward!" she whispered angrily, ignoring the curious glances from the others. "I designed this party especially for you guys! How could you have let this precious opportunity go so easily?"

"Look, Alice," I hissed back. "Thanks for all that, but I don't care anymore. I don't care whether he likes me or not anymore right now. I just want to be me, the real me, get it?"

For a moment, Alice said nothing but stared at me like she's never seen me before.

"Okay, fine," She exhaled sharply, finally giving up. "But you used to love shopping! You shopped even crazier than me!" she complaint with a frown.

I laughed.

"I don't know."