Chapter 3

Getting started was quickly becoming the most difficult thing Leon could imagine. The morning after moving into his new room in the male side of the facility, he was visited by a Technician who pushed a box into his arms and left him without so much as an explanation. Inside the box was a shiny new tablet, an earpiece, another smaller box, and a memory card. The card plugged into the tablet, and loaded the device with all the templates and forms his future Charge would need in order to take care of him. He took several minutes flipping through the applications on the tablet, his mind fogging over a bit as the reality or starting came to him. He began second guessing himself a bit, unsure if hurrying to get going was really the best idea.

Then he mentally kicked himself. What was the difference if he started then or two years from then? Nothing. He could read more books, he supposed, but that wasn't something he thought he would do outside of what was required of him. If he really needed to have more study time, he could do it after his Charge was with him. The curriculum wouldn't change much. No, waiting around was illogical. He flicked the tablet off and dug through the box. There was a slip of paper at the bottom that had all his information so far; his Totem, his model number, all of his initial statistics like weight and height, his room number, and his lab assignment. Too bad the Technicians didn't care enough to give him a map to tell him where the damn place was, but he figured he'd find it if he wandered around long enough. As it turns out, he didn't have to wander for very long because when he opened his door to leave, Riku was there, his hand up and ready to knock.

"God, don't scare me like that," Riku sighed, putting his hand to his chest.

"I could say the same thing to you. Why are you here?" Leon asked impatiently.

"Well, I came to help you. Like I said I would. Did you want to get breakfast first?"

"I was actually going to try and find my lab."

"Oh, what number?" Riku asked. Leon handed him the paper and the snowy Carrier nodded. "It's just down the hall and around the corner from mine, actually. Come on," he said and waved for the other to follow him. It took them less than four minutes to find the lab, which Leon felt a little embarrassed to admit that it would've taken him at least an hour by himself. It was like every other lab that ever existed at the facility. Bland, sterile, mostly white save for the machines he would need to learn his way around. The closet and cabinets were fully stocked with fresh supplies and everything was dust and fingerprint free. Leon felt like a trespasser in his own space.

"So…what now? Breakfast?" he asked as he set the box on the nearest open space that wasn't the floor. Riku shrugged as he crossed the room and headed back to the storage closet. He dug around inside for a few minutes before returning with armfuls of books and plopping them on the exam table.

"Well breakfast would be the ideal start to the day, but I don't intend on leaving you alone afterward, so I may as well stick around until you decide," Riku said.

Thank you. I don't want to be alone, Leon thought. "Breakfast is good," he said. Riku nodded and headed for the doors, the other following close behind.

"Okay, I'm lost," Leon blurted, poking at the Catalogue's keyboard. "All of these Charges are from Plane 001. What about the rest of them? And where are the males?" he asked confusedly.

"Go in and set your preferences, it's way over in the far—no," Riku said with a tiny sigh as the other Carrier floundered about stupidly with the buttons. He swatted Leon's hands away from the controls and brought him back to where he started before pointing at the screen. "See? Preferences, and then you can go in there and pick your parameters. At that point, it's self explanatory," he said and went to retake his seat at the exam table. Leon sighed impatiently in spite of himself, slouching in his seat and glaring at the screen.

As soon as he had started his search, his heart sunk. Twenty, forty, fifty, eighty years were just a few of the wait times he was given for his choices. Almost all of them were women, and hardly any of them seemed worth the wait. He couldn't sit around for twenty years, or even ten years. He would leave tomorrow if he could, but then he realized he was looking in the wrong place, and that's where he confused himself. He skimmed the preferences window, clicking the dots next to his criteria. Really, all he had to do was choose a plane from the list and his gender preference. He was a bit surprised to see so many planes, ones he hadn't even heard of in the list. Almost all of them except for Plane 087 and Plane 001 weren't able to be selected though. He didn't have any other candidates from anywhere else, and the ones he did have from other planes were all women and the option to select them disappeared once he clicked the 'male' tab.

It was a bit disheartening to think that the majority of Charge candidates were women. He couldn't decide if that was because the risk of death was so much more with them that everyone snatched up the men or if there were just that many more competent women. Regardless of the reasons behind it, Leon's options dropped from about ninety candidates to twelve when he decided against a woman. He was surprised. Plane 001's options weren't all that much better. He lost another seventy-five options there are well. He sighed and decided to just stick with his original plan and flipped back to Plane 087.

"Soldier, soldier, soldier, oh look, a General," Leon said, rambling off his candidate's occupations.

"Which is just a nicer way of saying 'this guy killed more guys than that other guy so he has a fancier word to his name, but he's still a soldier,'" Riku said, flipping the page of one of Leon's books he was occupying himself with.

"They're all soldiers, except for the ones who have no occupation listed but I'm willing to bet they're all soldiers too," the russet Carrier snorted.

"Which, depending on how you look at it, may or may not be a bad thing."

"How do you figure?"

"Well, soldiers take direction, listen, and are flexible enough to adapt to their environments. In theory anyway. Just because they got sucked into a war doesn't mean none of them are intelligent, so I wouldn't discount them based solely on their titles. For all we know that General could've had sex with his superior's daughter and got a higher rank that way," Riku said.

"I suppose," Leon agreed with a shrug. He took each profile one at a time, looking over what miniscule amount of information he had on each one. He was unimpressed. So, he started paying attention to appearances. He flicked each picture by, leaning in close to squint at them, taking note of the eyes. "All but two of them have the same eyes. Same color," he said. Riku raised a brow and went to look over his shoulder. Leon flipped through them again so his friend could see.

"They all have Zack's eyes," Riku said. Leon nodded.

"And apparently they all decided that it was absolutely fantastic to have enormous cowlicks, good god," he said, taking note on the odd physics some of the hair styles seemed to have. "And the colors, augh," he snuffed.

"Hey, silver hair is sexy, okay?" Riku said, flicking his hair over his shoulder. Leon laughed.

"Right, okay, whatever you say. I'll take your word on that one."

"Well if you're that concerned about hair then your General is already out the window. He's got huge cowlicks and silver hair. Talk about a kick in the balls."

"I really wonder if any of that is genetic. I'd fear for our children."

"Which children?"

"Any of them."

"Well it wouldn't matter for the Carriers. Human children…maybe," Riku shrugged and went back to his seat.

"All joking aside, it's almost impossible to pick based on what they give me here. I'd be better off flipping a coin."

"Well, you have other options. You can go to Plane 001."

"I'm not waiting around for twenty years."

"Well, then you might actually have to flip a coin."

"Maybe not…" Leon said curiously, paying attention to the numbers again. "See, for the General I'd have to wait until he's twenty-five to make contact. The lowest age I can get away with otherwise is…" he trailed, flipping through the profiles, "seventeen."

"Oh really? And what's this seventeen-something's occupation?"

"It doesn't say."

"Got a name?"

"Uh…" Leon drawled, scrolling up, "oh that poor kid, what terrible parent names their kid 'Cloud?'"

"Nice one," Riku snorted. "He look okay?"

"…I feel I should take an axe to that hair."

"Well, it's either you deal with a terrible name and hair, or wait the extra eight years for someone who has equally as terrible hair, but no name, and a better occupation. How close is the General's birth compared to the leave time?"

"I'd make it there just in time for him, apparently."

"Oh, well that might not be too bad then. Either way, you're leaving in four years. You can have a few extra years while you're there to study more while you wait for—" Riku had to stop himself as he started to laugh a bit, "for Cloud or you can go and start watching right away for the General."

"…Maybe I should ask Zack's opinion."

"You could. What opinion would he give?"

"He might know how easy it is to get a General's attention, versus someone who, for all we know, could be a librarian or something," Leon said. Riku thought about it and nodded with a light shrug.

"That's a good point. There's no guarantee you'd be able to convince a General to follow you. He might be living the high life. He'd have nothing like that here."

"I really wish the profiles were more complete," Leon grumbled as he exited out of the Catalogue and unhooked himself. There was so much empty space for personality information, education, family history, medical information, and even just the basic personal things such as how tall they are or how much they weigh. It all seemed so…barren.

"It's the price you pay for starting sooner than most, I'm afraid. There is a reason why a lot of Carriers avoid that plane."

"So I see," Leon said, standing and stretching some. "I'll go find Zack," he added as he headed out into the hallway. His lab was very close to the exit for the pool area and he could figure out which way to go once he was outside. But, he didn't have to, because once he stepped out of the lab he happened to glance in the other direction and saw Tifa and Zack already at the far end of the hall coming toward him. The uncanny ability of his companions being able to find him before he even knew he wanted to find them was unsettling. But, it saved him walking time. "I was just coming to find you," he said when they drew closer. He held the door open for them both and they went inside.

"I came to apologize," Tifa said before anyone had the chance to say anything else. Leon looked at her quizzically. "I shouldn't have discouraged you so much the other day. But, now that I've said that, I'm leaving. I will not help you kill yourself," she said haughtily and promptly exited. Zack sighed.

"Sorry, she only apologized because I made her. She wants to mother you," he said, wheeling himself over to where Riku was sitting. Leon scowled.

"If she wanted to be my mother, she should've given birth to me," he said grumpily. Zack nodded.

"I agree. I would feel differently if you were one of her siblings, but she obviously doesn't understand that."

"Right," Leon agreed and went to reconnect to the Catalogue. "Anyway, I had questions."

"I assumed as much," Zack chuckled, wheeling over to his side. Riku kept to himself, listening carefully. Leon quickly brought up his Charge candidates again and flipped through them. Zack's expression softened, seeing the names, the faces, the familiar eyes, though the Carrier didn't notice.

"I can make contact quicker with this one," Leon said, bringing up Cloud's profile. "But this other one has better information, as far as I can tell."

"Oh shit, a General? Really?" Zack asked, mostly to himself, in disbelief.

"Right, well, I wanted an opinion."

"On whom you should choose?"

"Yes."

"The younger one."

"…Well that was quick."

"You'd have to join the military yourself in order to get anywhere near the General. That's practically suicide, and I don't think you should fight their war for them," Zack said finitely. "They're both from the same side, but at least with the younger one you have a slim chance of him not being in the military."

"How can you tell they're on the same side?" Leon asked confusedly.

"The eyes," he said, turning his own to the Carrier, giving him direct and intentional eye contact. The blue of his irises seemed almost electric as they stared at one another for several seconds.

"Okay, mind elaborating a little bit?" Leon asked. Zack took a breath and fidgeted a bit.

"There is a particular drug that one side of war uses on its soldiers to keep them going. The drug itself is actually the chemical runoff from that side's power plants."

"You're serious?" Leon asked, giving Zack a look of complete disbelief. The Charge nodded.

"Yeah. It's completely legal and the military uses it like it was air for everyone to breathe. You're drafted and then they force it on you. Then, you're hooked. If you're on it long enough, it changes you. Mostly just pigment mutations, but if you use it too much, then you get geostigma. Which is…yeah, you don't want that. Imagine if gangrene and leprosy had a mutant child together and you'd have geostigma. The short term benefits of it outweigh the long term damage in the government's eyes. But, the military isn't the only place you can get it. It's everywhere. Just take a jar and walk up to the power plant and stick it in the runoff pipe and bam that's all you need. People use it at parties, recreationally, everywhere they can get away with it. It's gotten so prevalent that I would be comfortable with saying at least eighty percent of the population does it."

"You say pigment mutations like…" Riku trailed, Zack looked behind himself and shrugged.

"It turns your hair white and your eyes like a… seafoamy green color. Aqua, sort of. If you get that far in the process, you're dangerously close to getting geostigma. It goes in stages though. The eyes go first, turning blue from whatever color they were before, it doesn't matter what, and then your hair gets lighter and lighter until it's white. The colors have been known to pass on to people's children too, that's how dangerous it is. Babies have been born with geostigma and die in a couple years, if they have light hair and bright blue eyes, they're closer to getting geostigma if they happen to get hooked on the shit, it's just all kinds of awful."

"Is that why you ran?" Leon asked. Zack nodded.

"It's not right. To force that shit on your soldiers so they'd be able to do things they wouldn't normally do. So they can lift something three times their body weight or not feel remorse for killing a bunch of school children. So they don't feel pain when they're hit and keep fighting until they can't move anymore, acting like robots instead of people. The worst part is, whatever they do while on the drug is written off as okay. It's debatable on whether or not the person will remember what they did, but they still have that blood on their hands, even if the government won't punish them for murdering thousands of people who aren't even their enemies. All they care about are the results."

That sounds familiar, Leon thought.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" Riku asked, looking to the other Carrier with a serious expression. "That General is too far gone down this… drug path, apparently. I would toss him out, and the younger one already has the eyes."

"And so does Zack, he seems fine," Leon said. Riku sighed and rolled his eyes. "Almost all of my choices have the eyes. And if it's only the first stage, then it could just be beginning and repairable once he crosses over. What other side effects are there aside from the geostigma?"

"Muscle damage, heart damage, mental instability, possibly even irreparable brain damage, and that's if they're just sitting there doing nothing; if they're up and working or fighting or whatever else, the muscle damage is a definite at the very least. Just going through basic training fucked me up and I was only in there for a couple months. Once I was out, the withdrawal lasted weeks and even now, I'm still not up to where I was before I was on it. I can't run as fast or lift as much as I used to, I can't…" he hesitated a bit, laughing to himself, "I can't even be on top of Tifa when we have sex for an extended period of time without feeling like the life was sucked out of me, as sad as that sounds. I'm in this damn chair because my surgery smacked me around a good one and I just feel so weak all the damn time. I don't know, maybe another ten years of working out and rebuilding myself will help, but right now, I'm far from what I used to be."

"Just from a couple months of being on it?" Riku asked. Zack nodded.

"A couple months of getting another dose every two hours, yeah. That's way more than the average person on the street does, but like I said, the military treats it like air. They think its okay because, well, ninety percent of the soldiers die before they can get the geostigma anyway, and if they weren't using it, it would just be toxic waste the government would have to find a way to dispose of otherwise. This way, everything is used, there isn't any waste and it's a cheap way to fuel a military that is whipping everyone else's asses and winning the war for them."

Maybe this is too much, Leon thought.

"Well…" Riku trailed, coming to stand with them at the Catalogue, "sorry to get personal but are you… functional? Everything works okay?"

"Hmm? Oh. Yeah, Zack Junior is okay. He works just fine and my little swimmers are healthy as far as we can tell. It's just a bit more difficult to get them out of me because I get so tired it's almost not even worth it because then I need to sleep for three hours afterward. God forbid we do anything before we're ready for bed, I'd never get anything done during the day."

"Then it's not a total loss," Riku said, looking to the other Carrier. "The worst case scenario would be, you bring him over, and then you have to supplement your project with his blood instead of his sperm until he gets his strength back."

"I'm really not trying to discourage you, but I'm being realistic. The environment is hostile, I can't express that enough, but it's not hopeless. For all we know, this… whatever his name is…"

"Cloud," Leon said.

"Right Cl—" Zack continued before he stopped himself and made a disgruntled face. "Cloud? What the fuck kind of name is 'Cloud?'"

"I have no idea," the Carrier said and rolled his eyes, waving the subject away with a dismissive hand. "If I get really sick of it, I can train him to learn a new one."

"You make it sound like he's a pet," Riku chuckled.

"Almost," Leon agreed.

"Anyway, for all we know he could've been born with those eyes, from a druggie mother or father and won't ever touch the military. It's possible," Zack continued.

"Yeah…" the russet Carrier said, contemplating.

"Well what about the other two that look normal?" Riku asked, leaning over to get at the controls and flip through the candidates again. "Oh, okay," he said once he took in the ages. Leon wouldn't be able to make contact with them until much later than Cloud. One would be in his early fifties and the other would be in his forties. That would be pushing it too close to the edge of a man's decline in sexual potency, not to mention the wait would be excruciating. Plus, it's just weird. Leon would still have the appearance of a young twenty-something while the other men would be working on wrinkles even before stasis. Those were the only situations where he really couldn't think much past the appearances. At least Cloud would be young.

"Those two are probably from the other side," Zack said.

"I'm not waiting fifty years to make contact with anyone," Leon huffed, keeping his other objections to himself. "Cloud's fine. He'll do," he added.

"You're sure?" Riku asked, giving him a skeptical look.

"Yes."

"Totally sure? You can't go back."

"Yes, totally sure."

"More information might pop up about him later on as you get closer to leave, the Technicians will keep following his string until you do, and you may not like what you find later," Zack said.

"So far, even though a lot of the stuff you've said is negative I haven't heard anything that is wholly detrimental to my project and isn't repairable. I don't expect any of this to be easy regardless of whom I pick, so what's the difference? I'll figure out a plan. I'm confident," Leon lied. He was feeling far from it, but he didn't see any other options. He did, however, really believe he could fix whatever problems Cloud would give him in the future. Zack watched him with a scrutinizing eye for a few minutes before he nodded.

"I trust you," he said.

"I'm going to confirm it for you, if you're sure," Riku said hesitantly. Leon nodded.

"I'm sure."

The small box that was inside the bigger box, held things of interest for Leon; a tablet that he wouldn't use and its memory chip accompaniment were hardly things he had to concern himself with. But the littler box contained another box within it. And inside that black and silver ornate box (which was more like a case) were his Charge's watch, and the sensor he would have to shove under his tongue. In addition to those though, was an earring. So far, without a Charge the earring was just referred to as his change code, as it was just the little button that changed him to his Totem. He hadn't had the opportunity to see his Totem yet, and really, all it would take was a click of that button and he could. But without a Charge, if something went wrong, that could be bad.

"Did you want to change?" Riku asked curiously, having noticed Leon's listless staring at the stud.

"Sort of," he admitted.

"I want to see your Totem. Eventually. Whenever you're comfortable."

"Am I allowed to change before I find my Charge?"

"You'll have to. You can't ignore it without harming yourself."

"Oh."

"I'll take care of you, make sure nothing happens if you want to do it now," Riku offered. Leon nodded and Riku closed the book he was flipping through and stood. The russet Carrier followed him outside into the pool area, his change code in hand. "Technically, you're not supposed to stick that thing to yourself before your Charge shows up. It's permanent once you do it, but you can still press it to change. I'll hang onto it for you," Riku said. Leon handed the stud off to him and fidgeted in his place.

"So, what do I do? Just stand here?"

"I would suggest taking your clothes off."

"Oh…"

"Unless you want to strangle yourself, that is."

"Ah, no. That's not on my agenda."

"Then go ahead," Riku said, as if it was completely normal.

"While you're standing here?" Leon asked with a small scowl.

"…You're going to have to get over that. Almost all of the Carriers here have seen each other's Implants in various stages of nudity. Whether it's before they change or going to get their clothes once they change back. Personally, I'm more upset about exposing myself in my Primal than I am my Implant."

"Really?" Leon asked with an amused smile and a bit of a chuckle. "Why?"

"Because my fur is so… fluffy it covers everything and it looks like I'm neutered. It's embarrassing," Riku said quietly, shuffling his foot a bit. Leon had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing outright. "That stays between us, you hear me? I tell the others that I have the opposite problem and I don't like everything hanging out but I really wish it did. At least then, I'd be like everyone else."

"Aw, I'm sorry your testicles don't drag on the ground like everyone else's do," Leon teased. Riku glared at him and shoved him towards the pool and its attached rock wall.

"Go back there and get undressed if you're going to be an ass about it. Tell me when you're ready," he grumbled. The russet Carrier laughed to himself and did as he was told. The pool was adjacent to the field and there wasn't anyone in immediate eyesight to gawk at him so he felt reasonably comfortable with undressing. A quick shout to Riku and he could feel it start immediately. The snowy Carrier came around the corner just in time to see Leon fall forward onto all fours. His spine elongated, rippling under his skin and peeling it away in great heaves. His limbs popped and pulled out of place and reset again once the rest of him grew to accommodate. Glistening golden fur poked through his skin, a tail sprouted behind him, and his fingers retracted into enormous paws. Riku was a bit surprised to see how big he was. If he Leon wasn't pushing at least six hundred pounds, he'd eat his tail.

"Talk about fluffy," Riku snorted, going to run his fingers through the cat's poofy mane. Leon was exhausted. He hadn't anticipated the effort it took to change and hoped it would get easier with time. He padded away from his clothing and dissolving skin flakes to park himself on the edge of the pool. The waterfall made it impossible to see himself in the water's reflection and he didn't have the energy to go inside and find a mirror. He plopped next to the water and lay his head down, spent.

"Oh wow," Zack said abruptly, pulling both Carrier's attention to the door. Tifa was holding it open for him as he wheeled himself outside. "We were looking for you two."

"I thought you weren't going to help him," Riku said, sending Tifa a very unhappy look.

"I said I wouldn't help him kill himself, not that I wouldn't help him all together," she retorted. Leon didn't even look at them; he just twitched an ear around to listen. Riku ignored the woman and went to sit with him.

"It gets easier the more you do it. After a few times, it won't tire you out so much," he assured, burying his hands in Leon's fluff and scratching at his jaw. The cat closed his eyes, letting himself drift a bit. Tifa and Zack drew closer, the woman taking a seat next to Riku and petting Leon as well. Zack couldn't reach so he sat quietly.

"You look so depressed," Tifa cooed.

"He's tired," Riku clipped.

In truth, Leon had mixed feelings. Yes, he was exhausted, but there was more to it than that. What's a lion without a family? Not a whole lot, he felt. Tifa was right, he was depressed. He was satisfied that he could change and that everything worked properly, but now that he had, there was nothing to do. Except think. Laying around and thinking. Wondering, second guessing, endless thoughts about anything and everything. What was Cloud like? Would he even be able to find him? Was he even homosexual? And if not, how difficult will it be to convince him otherwise? Having zero experience in the romance department didn't help Leon in the least, even if he was only a couple weeks old. He sort of expected himself to have some idea of what to do, but he didn't. He wasn't confident he would learn all that in four years, either. But one thing he did know, was that he was feeling crowded with so many people around him. He pulled himself up and padded away a few feet before plopping down again.

"You've officially been snubbed," Zack snorted. Tifa crossed her arms over her chest and let out a grumpy huff. "You can't win them all," her Charge said and she sent him a nasty glare. To her, Leon was being irrational with not letting himself be helped. All she wanted to do was offer a shoulder to lean on and help take care of him and he wasn't even humoring her. It was insulting. Yet, he let Riku and Zack in just fine.

"I'm starting to think he just doesn't like me because I'm a woman," she said. Zack scowled.

"That's completely stupid, Tifa."

"Well it's true!" she insisted. Leon mentally rolled his eyes at her ineptitude.

"Did you even consider that he might like to keep some of his pride in tact? Take my word for it, not all guys like to be treated like children."

"But you do?" she asked. Zack scowled.

"I need it right now. But no, it's not my ideal way to run a relationship. I'm your lover, not your offspring."

"I know that."

"Leon isn't your offspring either."

"I know that too."

"Then stop treating him like one," he said.

"I'm not," she insisted.

"Yes, you are."

"No."

"Yes."

"I'm not!"

"Yes you are."

"Zack!"

"Tifa," he said calmly with a tiny sigh.

"I'm. Not," she said with a meaningful pause between words for emphasis.

"Then what is it you want from him?"

"To comfort him," she said defiantly.

I don't want your comfort. It's temporary, Leon thought.

"Well, he obviously doesn't want it so just drop it, okay? If you really need someone to comfort then let's go back to the room and you can squeeze me until I can't breathe anymore," Zack offered. Tifa muttered to herself under her breath and glared at the waterfall. Riku stood and went behind the rocks.

"I'm not used to taking care of someone for a week and then letting them just leave and having them not care anymore," she said quietly. She scooted across the grass to her Charge's side and leaned against his legs, resting her head on his knee. Zack pet her hair some.

"I know. But, it's okay. They all need to leave the nest at some point."

"…You're not helping," she grumped.

"Sorry," he chuckled. "I just think you're overreacting."

Damn straight, Leon thought.

"I can't help that my feelings are hurt," she sighed.

"Aww…" Zack cooed, petting her some more. Riku came back from around the rocks in his Primal form, which surprised everyone. He padded over to Tifa and abruptly shoved himself in her lap, folding himself up as much as he could so he would fit. He only weighed about eighty pounds so it was relatively easy to do. Tifa smiled and hugged him tight, nuzzling her face into his neck.

"See? Riku humors me," she said happily and cuddled him like a toddler. Zack shrugged and laughed a bit under his breath. He looked over to Leon and noticed the other cat was watching them intently though his head was still down in the grass. The Charge wheeled himself over to him and dug his earpiece out of his pocket, Leon watched him confusedly.

"Open," Zack said, dangling the end of the cord at the cat. Leon didn't do anything. "Seriously, open your mouth," Zack repeated. Leon hesitated but eventually did as he was told. The Charge clicked the earpiece into his Link and affixed the device to his ear and sat back. "Tell me things," he said. Leon was quiet for several minutes, not really sure what to say.

"What am I supposed to tell you?" he asked.

"You look so down, I was just wondering what the problem was."

"It's nothing. Don't worry about it."

"You sure?"

"Yes. Thank you for the concern, but I'm fine," Leon lied.

"If you say so."

6 months later

"Fire and ice," Leon said. Zack nodded.

"Right."

"Water and electricity."

"Right."

"Air and…earth," the Carrier said hesitantly.

"Yes."

"…What am I missing?"

"Life and…?"

"Death."

"Light and…?"

"Dark," Leon grumbled, mentally chastising himself for forgetting such simple things. Zack slouched in his seat, putting his legs up on the exam table, flipping a page.

"You come across an animal in the field and you're hungry. Being colorblind, you really can't see it's coloration to see if it's poisonous or not, how else can you tell?" the Charge asked. Leon scrunched his brows together, racking his halfway fried neurons for the answer.

"I know I read that somewhere…" he said with a sigh.

"Want a hint?"

"No."

"M'kay," Zack said, itching the side of his face and waiting patiently. Leon grumbled angrily in spite of himself and scooted forward in his seat to rest his forehead on the table.

"Why do so many of the animals have to be poisonous?"

"Hell if I know," Zack snorted. "Want to move onto something else?"

"No. I know this," Leon growled.

"Okay, let me put it this way, you find a Crown Lance, a Caterchipiller, and a Funguar all in the same place. They're all poisonous, you know this, but how can you tell? What do they all have in common?"

"That doesn't make any sense, they're all from different regions, why would they all be in the same place?" Leon asked, picking his head up and giving his makeshift teacher a confused look.

"I'm pulling an example out of my ass, just pretend for a second. Think about it."

"…They're slow and easy to catch?"

"Crown Lances are pretty damn fast."

"…They all sting?"

"Not Funguars."

"…Then I have no idea. They're all squishy and disgusting, why would I want to eat that in the first place?" Leon grumbled.

"That's right. They're all really soft. Most of the time, if it's really hard to crack into, it's edible. The gross ones use poison for their natural defense while the tasty ones use scales and armor and all that," Zack said. Leon's expression blanked and he stared at the table before remembering that yes, he did read that and he totally knew it. He heaved a frustrated sigh and let his face thunk back onto the table. Zack chuckled and pulled his feet off the table and sat up. He reached over and patted the Carrier's back. He looked at his watch. "It's almost two in the morning, you need to sleep," he said.

"I need to study," Leon said, his words partially muffled by the table's surface.

"But you also need to sleep."

"I can sleep when I'm dead. Or when I know all of this, whichever comes first."

"Well, tomorrow… or today… whatever, will be easier. You're picking up the stuff for here better than you are the stuff for Plane 087," Zack said, closing his book and standing. After almost four months of recovery, he was able to regain his strength enough to move around on his own. Tifa wasn't as thrilled as he was about it though, she couldn't baby him anymore.

"I know, and that's a problem," Leon said, pulling his arms up to fold them under his chin.

"You could try relating the two. They're alike in a lot of ways even if it all seems so different. Like…you can eat turtles. They have hard shells. But a lot of frogs are poisonous and they're squishy. See what I'm saying?" Zack asked. Leon nodded.

"Chemistry is so much easier," he sighed. He could do numbers and equations extremely well and the facts were cut and dry and easy to remember. The animal kingdoms had too many exceptions, too many muddled facts and too many theories. It was ever changing, and Leon couldn't keep up.

"I don't think so, but that's just me. Just remember the few cardinal rules I told you. 'If you see a T-Rexaur you…'"

"Run like a bitch," Leon snorted.

"And?"

"Don't eat the Chocobos."

"Right. You'll be fine. You still have time. Don't force yourself. Get some sleep, I'll be back in a few hours and we can start again," Zack said and stretched his arms towards the ceiling as high as he could, pulling his stiff muscles back into place.

"I will, I just want to check one more time before I go to bed," the Carrier said, looking to the Catalogue.

"Okay, I'll see you later," Zack said and took his leave. Leon waited until he was certain the Charge wasn't coming back before he tiredly scooted to the Catalogue and plugged himself in. He had learned his way around the machine fairly easily after a bit of study and found that a lot of it was self explanatory, unlike the rest of his curriculum. He checked it regularly to see if the Technicians had updated Cloud's profile, but so far, nothing had changed. Just the same stupid hair, with the same stupid name, and his age. Leon pulled his legs up onto the chair with him and rested his chin on his knees, watching, staring, and contemplating Cloud's face for answers to questions he couldn't even think to voice. So much uncertainty, so many unknowns, so many frightening possibilities of failure and tragedy, it put an icy lump in his gut.

The wait was torture.