DISCLAIMER/WARNING/APOLOGY IN ADVANCE:

What Hidan's speaking is supposed to be what the thickest French accent possible sounds like. Likewise, Kisame is speaking the thickest German accent possible. The terribleness of their accents and how retarded they sound is not reflective of Mark's opinion of and/or attitude towards France and/or Germany. I'm just trying to be funny, damnit.

The mercenary army was terrible. Out of the 745 in the tournament, only 482 managed to hit the targets at all. Temari remarked that she should be in the contest, and none of them. Ino made up some witty remark about her being the prize and returned to her banter with Sakura.

The locals weren't bad. A few of them got within two rings of the center. The audience of commoners that had gathered cheered loudly when the local dart throwing champion, Shino the Blind Kunai Thrower, came within one ring of the bull's-eye.

Then came Sheriff Hidan. He strode cockily up to Shino as he was slowly walking back to rejoin the other contestants, flaunting his flamboyant cloths in front of his unseeing eyes. He began to speak in his ludicrously thick French accent: "Tres bon, mon ami! Dzat was not bad for a bleend man. But Ee muss con-fess, eet ees no-dzeeng com-pared to moi!" With that, he turned and threw his kunai.

It hit the ring outside the bull's-eye.

Hidan's face changed from arrogant and smug to indignant and fuming.

"SACRE BLEU!" he shouted loudly. "MERDE! TABERNAC TABERNAC TABERNAC!" He waved his arms around like a madman. The commoner audience laughed bawdily. Angrily, he stared out at them, like a dog having been denied a particularly juicy piece of meat. "You all dzeenk dzat was funny, non? Let's see un of you heet dzat steen-keeng bull's eye!" He turned around, enraged, and stomped back to the crowd. As he did, the next contestant left the crowd. Hidan glanced briefly at him. As they passed, something clicked in his mind. He turned his head to study him, stroking his goatee curiously. He seemed familiar to him…..

Temari had watched the procession with little interest. Given the results so far, she knew that there was no way she would end up kissing one of the greasy mercenary scum, which was a relief. She'd probably end up kissing one of the locals; the blind one had the best chances. Then again, he had done no better than Hidan. She shuddered, thinking of his sickening smile and nauseating lips.

Then the next contestant departed the crowd. There was something instantly familiar about him to Temari, the way he moved so calmly and wore his hair in a ponytail. At first, she paid no more attention to him then she did all the others, but his familiarity warranted a second look. She eyed his hat, and then his vest. She had seen a profile like his before, but the beard didn't quite fit. Yet…..everything about him seemed to sing 'Shikamaru'. She turned to Tenten sitting behind her. "Who is that?"

"Him? Not sure. Calls himself 'Robbin' Hood'."

Temari turned back…just in time to see the contestant's kunai hit the dead center of the bull's-eye. The commoners went wild, cheering even louder then they did for Shino. Her eyes darted back to the contestant. He had turned to face her and was grinning cheerfully. He had a coy look in his eye, and he subtly, oh so subtly, mouthed 'troublesome woman' at her. Temari's face turned to an expression of flattered shock. 'Troublesome woman', Shikamaru's secret way of telling her he loved her. There was no doubt that it was him.

"I think she fancies him."

Temari snapped back to reality and quickly covered her blushing face with her fan. It appeared that Sakura and Ino had stopped tearing each other apart and focused on her.

"Oh, come now, Temari, there's no shame in being partial to a handsome contender."

"Looks like he stands the best chance of winning, if he keeps this up."

"Oh, you lucky girl you!"

While Ino and Sakura continued to chatter away to Temari's displeasure, a slick smile spread across the face of Sheriff Hidan as he twirled his mustache villainously. Yes, the man's face was the same as those that ruled Konoham before him. The trap had worked; that thieving rat Shikamaru was in his grasp! A quick glance at the crowd confirmed that the rest of his bandit gang had tagged along. Cackling fiendishly, he walked back through the crowd and into the shade of an elm tree, where Kisame was waiting in his Prussian blue cape. "Kees-amee! We have dun eet! Shee-ka-ma-ru and hees no good band of cree-meen-als fell for dze trap!"

"Vat?" the German asked. "Vere is he den? I to not see him anyvere!"

"He ees reeght over dzere, een dze green vest, with dze green hat!"

"Mein Gott! You are right!" Kisame gasped. He immediately threw a kunai at Shikamaru. However, Shino plucked it out of the air long before it got to Shikamaru's head.

Naruto, who had been standing near Shino at that particular moment, noticed Shino's catch. "Bluddy hell! How'd ya do that?"

"It was easy." The blind man said. "I could've heard it coming from a mile away."

Angry, Hidan drove his knee into Kisame's groin. "Eed-eeot! What deed you dzeenk you were do-eeng?"

"But you sait it vas Shikamaru!"

"Non, Kees-amee! We muss stee-ck to dze plan!"

"Ve must vait until he has von to kill him, den?"

"Oui! We must….." Hidan's face suddenly turned to confusion. "Euuuhhhh…..Shee-ka-ma-ru must ween for dze plan to work?"

"Ja, mein freud."

Hidan stroked his goatee. He knew that his dislike of Kakuzu was mutual, but to have so little faith in his capabilities to build a plan that relied upon his failure? Surely, Kakuzu did not think of him that way! "Euh…what would we do dzen eef Ee were to ween?"

Kisame burst out laughing. "Ho ho ha ha ha! Fery funny! Dat vas a fery goot one, mein freud!" He fell over and continued laughing. Hidan felt very, very insulted.

Alright, this is going to sound cheesy, but you know how in The Princess Bride, every time Wesley said "As you wish" to Buttercup, he meant "I love you"? I'm surprised I've never seen a fanfiction where "Troublesome woman" has the same meaning between Shikamaru and Temari, so I decided to make it part of my own. It was going to happen sooner or later, might as well be me who does the deed. Who knows, maybe I'll be the start of a trend…..