Chapter Four - Kristine

"Lunch!" Kryten called cheerfully from the doorway.

David looked up from his game of cards. "Didn't I just have lunch? Those curries and fruit and things."

"Silly Mr. Daviel. That was brunch."

"Smegging hell, you guys invented a meal between breakfast and lunch? How many meals are there each day?" David stopped when he saw Kristine bringing in his lunch tray. "Hel-lo! I remember you from the hall earlier. You stood out a mile from all those other girls."

"Yes," she frowned. "I'm the King's head concubine."

"Smeg. Story of my life," he told a confused Kryten who had obviously never witnessed flirting. He was escorted by Kristine to the door and after a hushed discussion he left her alone with David.

"Eat," she politely recommended to him. He didn't need to be told twice to accept free food.

"What's up?" he asked.

"I think you should finish eating first."

"You're obviously here to tell me something important and I'd rather just know. If I'm going to lose me head tomorrow then I'd like to know now so I can savour all this grub."

"Oh, you won't be losing your head," she smiled. "You'll be losing your virginity. The King wants you for his first male concubine."

David stopped eating. "Wow… didn't give me much warning, did you? Can't I be beheaded instead?"

"You'll be executed if you refuse, yes."

"Well, we having a saying where I come from that fits this situation: Buggered if you do, and buggered if you don't."

Outside the doorway, Kryten pressed against the door listening intently to the conversation.

"What's going on?"

Kryten jumped at the sound of Arnel's voice and explained enthusiastically that the King had propositioned David. "WHAT?!" Arnel yelped, clamping a hand over his mouth immediately after his outburst. "What?" he repeated more quietly, pushing Kryten aside to listen for himself. All he could hear was Kristine's muffled but serious tone. Kryten's large, pointed elf ears worked far better than his sticky-out human ones. "You're sure?"

"Positive, Mr. Arnel."

"Well… did he respond?"

"Not really," said Kryten, distressed that he could not be of more help to him. Arnel ran a hand through his curls and contemplated the situation carefully. He didn't really like David – well, if Arnel was honest with himself he didn't really like most people – but he wasn't going to give up his cushy new job of being his guard. If David became a concubine then he would be taken away to be protected by the Royal Guard. And Arnel would be back to cleaning and dusting. It was just plain humiliating when he considered his upbringing.

He shook out of his thoughts at the sound of the heavy door sliding open and hitting his foot. "What are you doing?" asked Kristine, knowing full well the answer.

"I'm the guard ma'am. I have to watch David."

"I'm perfectly trustworthy, Arnel. You know that."

"My orders were to trust no-one and suspect everyone, ma'am." He almost spat the 'ma'am'. Kristine shrugged. She never felt the need to bully anyone of a lower rank. It was easy pickings. She much preferred the challenge of thrusting her opinions at those in power.

"Daviel will be leaving his room tomorrow evening at seven o'clock for an audience with the King. He won't return until the morning."

"May I ask what could possibly take that long?" said Arnel, trying to hide a sneer.

Kristine smiled sweetly back, "Well, of course you wouldn't know."

"What are we talking about?" whined Kryten, annoyed at being left out of the conversation.

"Nothing, Kryten. Miss Kristine is just being crude."

"You're awfully confident for a slave, Arnelle."

"You're awfully confident for a prostitute, ma'am."

Kryten stood there, his mouth gaping at the two of them. Kristine had been completely knocked back by Arnel's retort, and he seemed a bit shocked as well. Luckily for him, she simply stormed off and he gratefully scuttled back into the Waiting Room.