Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters in it.
IV.
The silence that spread vastly and heavily through the next hours was actually a murderous torture for Jakushi since she had never felt so tired. The magnetic fire succeeded in drifting her off and calming her, which didn't help in her task of first-rate importance, namely to remain awake.
There was nothing to drag her out of her gloomy thoughts, the usual amount of which attacked her through the darkest hours of the night. Thought after thought, the pain emerged, chaining her whole being once again. Jakushi was dependent of her own darkness because it helped her live, stimulated her senses, gave her strength to fight.
Kept her awake and filled her with wrath for she could do nothing to change it. She wasn't sure if she was able to defeat any evil when she couldn't defeat the one inside of her. She wasn't sure that she wanted to live with that thought, waking up in the morning with that thought. Hatred kept her going. She never imagined herself living without it.
"Are you alright?" Itachi's voice dragged her out of the hypnosis of the fire, making her sink deeper and deeper in the thoughts she never seemed to get rid of.
Jakushi raised her head.
"Am I hallucinating or you really asked me if I'm alright?" She narrowed eyes.
"So you're alright." He confirmed as if to himself and kept contemplating the rain that had abated, now calmer and quieter.
"Yes, because it's completely normal someone like you to ask if I'm alright." Jakushi murmured, her eyes bounced to the fire and back to him. She observed him for a few seconds before deciding to speak. "Question is, are you alright?"
"I'm fine." He replied mechanically and it stung her angry.
"A traitor, a killer and even a liar. Great image."
"Thank you for being sincere."
"I think I now understand your brother perfectly."
After a single blink, a clone figure of Itachi was bending over her, eyes piercing through hers.
"You don't understand a thing... Insane ingrate. As much as you want to die, it won't happen. Would you stop with the witty responses?" His voice was low but intimidating. But Jakushi felt as if he was at the edge of the dam, holding all of his anger. Just one more drop was going to break out his facade of calmness and, as she suspected, counterfeit kindness.
The clone disappeared but Jakushi kept looking at the empty space over her.
"I may be many things but I'm a medic too." She started slowly. "That thing with the clone will only..."
Her complacent smile faded when her eyes fell on Itachi, who coughed blood, convulsing in a painful spasm. Jakushi stood up and neared him. Matter-of-fact, that she was an ingrate was the absolute truth at the moment and it felt like a burn. But he was right and there was no way she could argue on that.
Jakushi kneeled, trying to suppress her pride as much as she could.
"Let me see." She touched his hand but he recoiled sharply.
"Don't." Itachi ignored her steady gaze, his face even whiter than before.
"I'm trying to help you." Jakushi declared evenly. "You look bad."
"What do you care about my condition all of a sudden?" He was out of air.
"So you want to die?"
"Yes." Came the quiet answer she received along with the helplessness she knew so dearly, in his eyes. Her whisper transfixed her deeply, forcing her to leave all of her stupid lines along with the fake demeanour she had staged for herself to feel safer. They looked at each other in silence for a while.
"I am sorry." Her eyes were on the ground. "My manners may not be great, but... Thank you for..."
"It's nothing."
Jakushi was happy that at least it didn't come to a fight. She stood up and offered him a hand.
"I think it's better for you to join me. It's cold here."
He stood up with her help and both sat near the fire. Jakushi twisted his wrist, checking the pulse, which was surprisingly normal.
"Has it happened before?" She wasn't really sure what was wrong with him.
"No." He shook his head.
"A poison? Maybe Jutsu?"
"I can't be certain, a week ago I woke up. After..." He stopped.
"After?"
"The Reincarnation binds the soul of the deceased person to a living vessel, right?"
Jakushi was slightly confused.
"Yes. What about it?"
"I don't remember anything. The last thing I remember was..." His eyes became distant, although watching the flames of the fire.
"You do control your own body now, don't you?"
"I do."
"Whatever happened to you... you say you were dead, is that right?"
"There's no way I would not be."
Jakushi was just in a dead end.
"It cannot possibly be a Reincarnation because you can control yourself and you're supposed to be at your full potential after it. Obviously, you're not. But I know nothing else that can bring you back from the dead. Except..."
Their eyes met. Itachi was more doubtful even than her as they thought about the same thing. The Reincarnation Ninjutsu, the technique with which one could revive a person in exchange of all the available chakra of the person who performed it.
"I don't think so." Itachi hastened to say.
"Why not?"
He sunk in tranquillity once again.
"I have no knowledge of a person on this world who's willing to sacrifice his life for me."
Jakushi remained silent, thinking about the way she thought herself miserable after the war but at least she had friends, she had a family, she had Konoha and that, perhaps, was supposed to make her happy. Only a few had her luck. Not that she believed in luck. It was more of a happy concurrence of circumstances. But at the end of the day, Itachi had chosen himself. To destroy everything he had. Then why did he expect someone to hold him dear after all he's done?
"I don't see anything wrong, expect my chakra. I can't even walk on my own."
"Yes. In these cases making clones is recommended." Jakushi couldn't stop herself.
"Always works against annoying people." He parried her irony back with another.
"Do me a favor and think about who's actually insane. I'm not the suicidal one."
"As far as I know neither of us wants to live. Besides, we figure as enemies."
Jakushi shrugged, watching the fire.
"I don't really care if I'm dead or alive anymore. I don't care about anything."
"You weren't like that when we met."
Jakushi didn't reply, too tired to argue.
"You don't treat me as an enemy and I don't do it too."
"Can I ask something of you?" Itachi asked slowly, whereat she turned to him, still not used to his windless tone. She couldn't believe that someone like him could kill or hurt someone. The feeling he evoked was of some strange and unknown safety. As if the whole world was at peace when one was around him. At least that was how his presence felt like.
"Yes?"
"Would you describe Konoha to me? The way you saw her before leaving.
Jakushi spent quite some time watching him, still and quiet. That was the most unexpected request she ever thought of hearing.
"Well... okay. If you wish."
She told him about the festive Konoha she saw last night. The same noisy and ever so beautiful Konoha that stood firmly, proud of her heroes. The lanterns, flickering with welcoming light and the first snowflakes, graciously dancing their way down to the dream-like scenery. Jakushi tried her best to be as descriptive as possible but somehow she couldn't portray exactly what the village was to her. As if she described her house, not her home.
"Sasuke... is he happy?"
"I guess." Jakushi shrugged again. "Everyone in Konoha loves him. He and Naruto are praised.
"Does he live alone?"
Jakushi slightly bit her lip.
"Mm... not really. The little time he's in Konoha he usually spends with Sakura. They're... together now."
She was surprised to see a ghost of a smile on Itachi's face.
"I'm glad... I knew that Sakura won't leave him. Neither would Naruto."
"Yeah. Everything seems fine." Jakushi sighed. "Seemed."
"I don't plan on starting a new war if that's what worries you." Itachi paused, possibly to take a breath. He didn't seem much better now but at least it was warmer next to the fire. "If Konoha's safety depends on me, you have the right to kill me."
"No." Jakushi raised a brow. "I am supposed to take you back to Konoha and they'll decide what to do with you there."
"They'll do that same thing you can do. Do it now."
"I'm sorry, but I'll have to refuse. We don't even know who or what brought you back to life. More important, why? I'm aware that you positively hide something but-"
"I told you. I have no idea why I'm alive. It's a problem."
"Perhaps it's not. We can't be sure."
Brief silence broke up their ardent exchange of words.
"Then I'll come voluntarily with you. To Konoha."
Jakushi exhaled in disbelief. How amusing.
"Yes... and I'll trust you won't run away or kill someone or I don't know... you might plan an attack on the village. I don't see how this is gonna work."
"Will you believe me if I swear on the life of my brother that I won't do any of this?"
"Your brother." Jakushi was at a loss for words, looking him straight in the eye. "Don't you two loathe each other?"
Itachi parted his colorless lips in order to say something but all he did was to wither visibly, a look of defeat and weariness upon his features.
"Please?" He begged, with a soft tone.
That was going to be, perhaps, the biggest mistake in her life. Or the most meaningful decision she'd ever make. The chasm between these two was too wide to not make her nervous. What if his goal was to deceive? What would she bring down upon Konoha with this decision? But then again, he barely held on. With all these shinobi in Konoha, he wasn't actually a threat, was he? She struggled to be reasonable and not be affected by her own soft side, subservient to whatever being in need of help.
She averted eyes from his weak and ill figure, frightened of her own impulses. That was the strongest weapon he used by now. That damned Sharingan too, fixed steadily upon her like a lie detector.
"Alright... alright." Jakushi sighed heavily and leaned her head on her knees. "I agree."
***
"I have a bad feeling, Jakushi..."
That voice... Sakura? She couldn't discern any of them. She just realized they were a lot. Different voices, every single one said something at the same time. Nothing was clear enough for her to hear, so she forced herself to push aside the chaos. What was that? It felt awful.
"He won't... he won't hurt anyone!" She felt nausea, her stomach shrunk in uneasiness, regretting her wish to know. She shifted away, reaching to another voice.
"You won't stop me." It felt... strangely clear. Serene.
"...kill again." And forward, to another.
Sand castles fall too easily. You shouldn't build sand castles. Castles are only built on a hill, on a rock. That is the only way to see them last. But you need to climb up there first. You don't have the strength to endure.
"Disaster... disaster..." The word repeated quietly in the back of her mind. She turned around in confusion. Disaster? He doesn't know. Show him he's not right. He doesn't know.
"I almost forgot..." The sound of inhaling and exhaling echoed in a soothing rhythm. Who was that? Sounded terribly familiar. Laughter rang out and deafened everything for a split second.
"I need to hear you promise..." That was her own voice but she lost it quickly.
"You should've thought about the consequences." She knew that voice. It was specifically, uniquely branded on...
Her heart. It felt so... shattered. And it hurt so badly. Oh God, the pain was unbearable. So strong that she couldn't tell if it was physical or it came from deeper. It burnt her alive.
Invisible chain suffocated her. The feeling resembled the moments when she fought to not burst into tears. When she was completely and utterly alone.
The first thought when she snapped awake was how badly her head ached. Then was how stiffened was her body thanks to the hard and cold ground she laid on. She instinctively caught her head with a hand and opened eyes. A shiver ran through her. Cold. The fire had died out long ago and just a few embers were burning low.
The fact that she could see her own warm breath when exhaling showed her enough. The temperatures were incredibly low. Jakushi straightened up a bit and froze. An urge to fall into a fit of uncontrollable anger hit her in the second she saw Itachi's overcoat covering her body but... her anger evaporated when her eyes found him, sleeping. His appearance surprised her.
It looked like he slept calmly at first sight but she was trained to see the details and as always, this time was no exception. His slight trembling didn't escape her notice. Neither the blueish nuance on the tips of his fingers. Or the gray circles around his eyes.
Jakushi narrowed eyes, imagining the danger she put herself in. She felt so strange, in this situation, watching him so defenseless. It was so easy for her to... kill him. No. The thought was repulsive. There was a part of her that revolted against it strongly. Besides a murder of the kind would be a complete disgrace, demonstrating her lack of honor.
Another part of her just couldn't believe it. The gesture of giving away his coat... touched her deeply. Being sacrificial to that extent was always a hard task for herself, she had to admit. How was she supposed to think him as an enemy when he did such things? There were a lot of possibilities, she shuddered again at the thought. Possibilities he had while she was asleep. But no... Things seemed to get weirder.
And that minuscule part of her that could stay there long and watch as he inhaled... and exhaled. Slowly, with a bit of a difficulty. It was somehow calming.
Jakushi snapped out of her thought and averted her eyes, terrified of herself.
What the hell...
She had the feeling that she wasn't herself, grateful that her sensei wasn't watching her at the moment. What a grand failure.
She stood up sharply, throwing away the cloth. An angry pace led her out of the cave with the intention of looking around. It was nipping cold and if it wasn't for the searching wind, she'd find the scenery fabulous. The low temperatures have left frost tracks on trees and bushes and thanks to the sunbeams everything wind blew in her direction and she wrapped herself in her coat. Kakashi was right, the hilly lands along the border were harsh.
But that wasn't the main problem going round in her head.
Jakushi decided that it would be wise to hand him over to the Council. It was the right thing to do. They were to judge him. Sounded like quite the plan, except one thing wasn't clear. He surrendered way too easily. Bu his crimes were really cruel. It wasn't natural, at all. And what was she supposed to do, to help him with his course of actions? To defend herself? She barely held a laughter. That was a meaningless cause.
The sun was up so she decided it was time to wake up Itachi. She returned to him and took his coat from the ground. Thought about the worst possible way to wake up someone. There weren't many options but she chose the one she had at her disposal. She unsheathed her katana and hit the wall of stone next to her. The steel echoed unpleasantly and Itachi woke up, narrowing eyes from the horrible sound.
"Good morning." Jakushi gave a fake smile. "I think it's not bad for us to get on the way early."
He hardly straightened up to a sitting position. Jakushi handed him his coat and sheathed back her sword.
"Thank you, please don't mistake me for your brother anymore. I can take care of myself."
Itachi took his coat silently and put it on. Jakushi walked a few steps but suddenly stopped, turning on heels.
"Can you walk?" She folded hands on her chest.
He shook his head and Jakushi grew pensive.
"Alright. If so..." She kneeled next to him. "I'll have to give you a bit of my chakra but just to get you on your feet. Give me your hand."
He offered his palm and she placed hers on it. His skin was quite cold but she had no time to think about that since the technique required her attention. Her hands illuminated with blue light. Both kept it quiet until the moment she smiled faintly.
"What is it?" Itachi finally spoke.
"Nothing. Just... I remembered something Tsunade-sensei told me." Jakushi looked at him. "Often when we trained this technique she joked how we'll be having problems with it only if we use it on Uchina. She advised us to prepare a convincing speech with all the serious reasons why we have to interfere in their problem, to have access to their chakra and a lot more." Her smile widened and she looked at him expectantly. "Any questions?"
Itachi's barely noticeable smile appeared again.
"She is right. Uchiha are definitely a strange phenomenon."
"Annoying egoists one and all," Jakushi commented.
"It's not right to form an opinion about Uchiha only from one."
"One?" She glared at him. Only if it was one.
"Especially not from Sasuke too." He met her eyes. "Moreover he doesn't act like that if you've earned his trust."
"True. Very rude with strangers and rude with friends."
"Don't be quick to judge. I'm sure it's not easy for him."
"Oh? Sakura was about to take her own life because of him and he didn't seem interested in the least."
"He'd lost his whole family at once."
"And?" Jakushi raised her intonation. "What of it? We all have lost people. That's not an excuse."
She stopped, bending down again, although he had a look of surprise in his eyes.
"Whatever..." She murmured absently. "They're together anyway."
"I can't agree with your statement." Itachi renewed the conversation with a thoughtful expression. "Uchiha are definitely annoying but not selfish."
"I see... I've insulted the name of your clan. No need to defend it. I'm not sure Uchiha consider you one of them. And after deciding to personally extinguish them, why bother?"
Itachi averted his eyes from her as if trying to escape her words.
"Sasuke's behavior is a reflection of your actions. Everything he'd lost starts with you."
"Please." He stopped her. "Don't."
"But that is the truth. Why does no one want to hear the truth?" Jakushi exclaimed. "You are guilty and you can't change that."
"Truth is a wonderful thing, yes." Itachi cut her off and drew his hand away from her. "Why don't you kill me just now and be done with it? You seem to have many accusations."
"I'll have to reject that offer once again, traitor. You are figuring as my captive. You agreed to come with me in Konoha voluntarily."
"Your instructions are to kill me. I've been on a mission before."
"Well, you're overpowering me anyway."
"I won't fight back."
"You've got a choice - kill me and do as you please or surrender and go back to Konoha with me." She said firmly.
"Where I'll die. Fairly. Happy ending for everyone." He said his last words slower as if imagining the happiness his death would bring to Konoha.
Jakushi narrowed eyes.
"Don't be so quick to die. We don't know who revived you and why."
"Does it matter?" His tone was never as sharp.
"It matters a lot." Jakushi retorted. She took his hand again and renewed the technique.
Itachi had his eyes fixed on her with an inhuman stillness and God knows what he was thinking but she tried to take that thought off her mind.
"You will be of help if you calm down." She emphasised the last words, attempting to sound a tinge more authoritative but it didn't help her feel less... afraid? Why was she afraid, everything was going just fine for her. Itachi had tensed, though, and she felt like a target. He had daggers, he was fast and her chakra was giving him the strength he needed. She was very much a target, yes.
A/N: Thank you very much for reading, guys! Thanks to StarshineRose18 for reviewing, seriously, you're the real MVP haha - keeping my hopes that someone's actually reading this. I've always known I'm not really good at it but eh... I'm having fun writing this anyway.
Spoiler(ish): Everything I put in as a quote in Jakushi's dream is mentioned again in the further chapters. This is some kind of a weird long-termed eastern-egg-idea I got for this fic. Hope you'll have fun noticing these in the future. ^^
Oh and ... I have no idea what people prefer in all honesty. Does the length of the chapter bother you? Should I write them shorter or leave them like that?