I own none of the characters of Bones

Any other time Booth would have enjoyed the first class seats that Bones had booked for the flight home but not this time. Bones took the window seat and if she wasn't sleeping she was just staring out the window. The few times that he tried to hold her hand or touch her in any way she flinched and pulled away from him. His attempts at conversation proved to be just as unsuccessful. Whenever she did answer his questions they were short one word answers. He could tell she was uncomfortable and in a fair amount of pain, although she would never admit to it. She was constantly moving around in her seat and grimacing in pain when she thought he wasn't looking. Being one that had experienced broken ribs before he knew that sitting still for hours on the plane was not helping her situation at all. A few times when she was sleeping she was whimpering so he gently shook her awake because he didn't want her to experience a full-fledged nightmare on the plane and when she woke up he was intently reading a magazine like nothing was out of the ordinary.

"Bones you don't look so good. Are you okay?" Booth asked gently. They were landing shortly and he even though he knew it would piss her off that he was asking about her health, he was worried about her and couldn't put it off any longer.

"When the hell are we landing?" She snapped, ignoring his question altogether.

"We are in our final descent."

"Thank God. I just want to go home and lay down."

"You're not going home. You're going to the hospital."

"Excuse me?" She shot her head around and glared at him. "I am a grown woman who is capable of making my own decisions. I don't need some man telling me what I am and am not doing." She seethed through clenched teeth.

"I am not just some man Bones. I am the man who loves you." He watched as she bit her upper lip and turned her head away from him. "And anyways you made the decision when you left the hospital. You agreed that you would get treated as soon as we arrived in the states and dammit that's what you are going to do. I've made arrangements for an ambulance to meet us at the airport."

"How dare you drag me off to a hospital Seeley Booth?"

"If I recall you drug me off to a hospital because you thought something was wrong with me."

"There was something wrong. You had a brain tumor."

"And there is something really wrong with you Bones. You don't look good, you look sick." Booth lowered his voice to a whisper and proceeded to talk. "Some really bad things happened to you and you…"

"You have no idea what the hell happened to me." She shot back.

"I would if you would tell me and let me help you." He reached out for her hand but she yanked it away from him.

"I don't need your help. I don't need anyone's help so just back off and leave me the hell alone."

"No." He said simply.

"I beg your pardon."

"Beg my pardon all you want sweetheart but I'm not going anywhere. I love you and I made a commitment to you with my heart to love you forever so you are stuck with me."

"Don't call me sweetheart." She muttered.

"Buckle your seatbelt Bones. It's time to land." Glaring at Booth she buckled her seatbelt and then resumed her position staring out the window until the plane came to a stop.

"Excuse me ladies and gentleman." The captain's voice came over the plane.

"Now what?" Bones snapped.

"We have a medical emergency so we ask that all passengers please remain seated until the emergency has been taken care of. Thank you for your patience."

"Dammit I just want off of this plane." Bones mumbled as a pair of paramedics came into first class pushing a stretcher. Booth stood up. "Booth what the hell are you doing?" She got her answer a second later when he waved them over to them.

"Is this the patient Dr. Temperance Brennan?"

"Yes sir." Booth answered.

"This is absolutely unnecessary." Bones said. "I m perfectly capable of walking out of here on my own."

"Sorry Dr. Brennan but policy is you have to be wheeled out on a stretcher but we can compromise. You can walk over to the stretcher."

"This is ridiculous. I don't need an ambulance. Booth could have driven me to the hospital."

"Come on Bones. Up and at 'em." Shooting him a death glare she slowly and painfully rose to her feet and the second she was perpendicular she became extremely dizzy. She felt her vision becoming faint and voices were becoming distant. Unable to stop herself she collapsed, unconscious into Booth's arms. "Oh my God. Bones. What the hell just happened? She was fine."

"Sir we need to get her onto the stretcher." Booth helped lay Bones on the stretcher and stood by helplessly as he watched them give her some oxygen on her, check her pulse and blood pressure." "Does she have high blood pressure?"

"No. Not that I know of. She's very healthy."

"Well she does now. Her blood pressure is 210/124."

"Is that bad?"

"It's not good. Let's move." As Booth followed the paramedics and Bones out of the plane his heart was pounding in his chest. He knew that he should of done something more to make her stay at the hospital and if something happened to her because he let her get her way he would never forgive himself.

--

"Dr. Brennan we have your test results." Dr. Allen said walking into the room.

"It's about time." Bones muttered. They had been at the hospital for over three hours and they had been running multiple tests on Bones since she arrived. On the ride over in the ambulance she regained consciousness and all that remained from her "episode" was a horrible headache.

"Dr. Brennan you have a multitude of injuries so I'm going to begin with the most severe first and work my way down." Booth was waiting for Bones to kick him out of the room but so far she hadn't so he just sat in his chair quietly listening. "We have discovered the reason for your high blood pressure which is why you passed out on the plane. During your attack your kidneys were damaged and right now at this point they are not functioning as they should be. Your kidney function is very low, approximately 10-15% and none of the toxins from your bloodstream is being filtered out. From the amount of urine that we cathed from you it looks like you aren't urinating much at all."

"You know I don't recall her going to the bathroom once on the plane." Booth spoke up.

"Booth, stay out of it." Bones snapped and Booth quietly sighed.

"Because you have been unable to relive yourself your body has an excess amount of blood volume and therefore your heart has to work harder thus the higher blood pressure."

"So what can you do for her?" Booth asked ignoring the glare that was sent his way.

"We're going to start you on a diuretic to help get rid of the excess fluid plus a couple of high blood pressure medications. You're also going to need to go on dialysis three times a week until your kidney's return to normal functioning."

"What is dialysis?" Booth inquired.

"Booth! I know what it is."

"Well I don't." He snapped right back at her.

"Dialysis is a process that does the work of the kidneys for her. The machine will remove her blood, clean it out and put it back in."

"And how long will she have to do this?"

"Anywhere from four to six months." Bones didn't respond. She just sat there staring at her lap.

"Now for your other injuries Dr. Brennan." Dr. Allen launched into a detailed description, including hanging her x-rays up in the room for her to view on her wrist that was fractured in for places, her cheek that was broke, the seven of her twelve ribs that weren't bruised but broken and the hairline fracture that he found on her jaw as well and the surgeries that she would have to go through to heal. While the doctor spoke Bones just continued to stare at her lap. She didn't even look at her x-rays which really shocked Booth.

"Dr. Brennan we now need perform a rape exam." Dr. Allen said softly and Bones finally reacted. Her head shot up and she glared at Booth.

"You told him. How dare you tell him? The…it has nothing to do with what is wrong with me." Booth could see the tears shining in her eyes, threatening to fall.

"He asked for your history and I gave it to him."

"You had no right. No right at all." A single tear fell from her eye.

"Dr. Brennan it is very important. There could be some internal damage. We need to do an exam. Now if you prefer I can get a female physician to do the exam but it needs to be done."

"I don't want it done."

"You need to be checked for STD's." Booth saw Bones flinch. "And you know the only way to do that is by a pelvic exam. If I don't do the pelvic then I can't confirm or deny the presence of a STD and if you have one and it goes untreated then you could die."

"Just treat me then."

"We can't do that because of antibiotic resistance."

"Fine." She finally relented.

"Would you feel more comfortable with a female physician?"

"What the hell does it matter?" She muttered. "You can do it."

"I'll…umm…I'll wait in the hall." Booth mumbled.

Suddenly Bones' chest tightened with nervous anxiety. The thought of Booth leaving her alone with this doctor, a man, terrified her. As flashbacks of her rape quickly flashed through her mind she felt her heart rate begin to speed up, her palms became sweaty, she began to breathe faster. She closed her eyes to try to calm herself but it wasn't working. In fact it was making her worse. She couldn't get the images of those men, on top of her, breathing on her, and thrusting themselves inside of her out of her mind. "BOOTH." She shouted when he got to the door. He stopped and turned back to her. "Stay." She requested. Even though it made no logical sense to her because it was the male gender that raped her and she terrified to be alone in this room with the doctor she wanted Booth to stay with her. She always felt safe with him. He did after all find and rescue her when she lost all hope. He was her protector and he would protect her.

"Of course." He returned to her bedside, pulled a chair next to her bed and faced it so his back was to the doctor during the exam. Even though she didn't verbalize it she was so grateful for the simple action of not watching the exam.

Dr. Allen was very gentle during the pelvic exam, telling her what he was doing at all times and where his hands were so she wouldn't be surprised. Bones had never had a problem with pelvic exams before but as soon as Dr. Allen inserted the speculum she whimpered in pain. "Dr. Brennan, just relax." Dr. Allen said. She hated that she had been reduced to this whimpering woman she had become.

Booth desperately wanted to reach out and touch her, comfort her but he knew that he would scare her if he tried so he just sat helplessly next to her. Her eyes were squeezed shut but tears still managed to escape and fall down her cheeks. When he heard her plea of "please stop" he knew she was no longer in the hospital room; that she was back in that horrible place being tortured and his heart broke for her.

"All done Dr. Brennan." Dr. Allen said pulling the speculum out. "I got the swabs I needed and I should have the results in a couple of days." Bones slowly opened her eyes and returned to the hospital room where Booth was sitting next to her. "I need to ask was there any anal penetration?" Bones turned her head glanced at Booth, shame written all over her face and then she hung her head in embarrassment.

"Oh Bones." He whispered, swallowing back the bile that was rising up his throat.

"I'll need to do a rectal exam." Bones didn't even argue. She lay back on the bed and rolled onto her side so she was facing Booth but she refused to look at him. She cried out in pain when the doctor inserted the rectal probe and this time she reached out for Booth's hand. She didn't want to go back to that place again and she hoped that by holding Booth's hand she would stay. "Dr. Brennan were you penetrated with anything other than a penis?" Dr. Allen asked. When she ignored the question Dr. Allen got his answer.

"Oh my god." Booth mumbled quietly. It was even worse than he had imagined.

"Okay Dr. Brennan. I'm all done. You can go ahead and sit up." Bones pulled her hand away from Booth's and pulled herself into an upright position. "Now I want to tell you what I found. I took some swabs but from the vaginal discharge that I see I'm ninety percent sure that you have gonorrhea, Chlamydia, or maybe both but the swabs will confirm it. There is significant tearing, bruising and trauma to the vagina and anus but that should all heal on it's on. What concerns me is that there appears to be an infection in your rectum probably from whatever penetrated you. It's very red, inflamed and there is a yellow drainage that appears to be pus from the wound. I'm starting you IV antibiotics right away for that. Do you understand?" She just nodded. "Do you recall when you had your last period?"

"Before I left…oh my god. No. Please…" Booth's eyes widened as the meaning of Dr. Allen's question and her answer finally sunk in.

"I discovered that your cervix is closed during your pelvic exam, a sure indication of pregnancy."

"No. You have made a mistake."

"I will confirm it with a blood test but it will help me to know when your last period was."

"I. Don't Remember." She shouted. "I've had other things on my mind.

"Of course. I apologize."

"This blood test can it tell me exactly how pregnant I am?"

"Yes."

"Does it matter Bones?" She whipped her head around to face him.

"Yes it matters Booth because if it happened during…while I was…I want it out of me."

"It's a baby Bones. An innocent child."

"The probability of this child being yours is very small since you used a condom and I was on the pill when we had sex so you have no say it what I do. Doctor can an abortion be arranged once the blood test confirm gestational age?"

"Yes."

"Bones you need to slow down and think about this."

"Think about it?" She screamed at him. "Are you kidding me? The thought of what is inside of me and how it got there makes me sick and I want it out of me." She began hitting herself in the stomach. Booth reached out and grabbed her hands to stop her but she roughly pushed him away. "I want it out. Get it out of me. Get it out of me." She screamed over and over.

Dr. Allen called in a nurse who quickly came in and injected a sedative into Bones' IV. Booth stood beside her bed as the sedative took affect with tears streaming down his face. He couldn't believe he had been such a selfish bastard and suggested that she actually think about what steps to take. He believed that every child was a gift of from God and he didn't believe in abortion but he had never been in this situation before. He couldn't imagine being in her shoes, being pregnant by one of the men who brutality raped and beat her for weeks. After the doctor left Booth sat back on the chair next to her bed, clutched her hand and cried. He cried for what the woman he loved had gone through. He cried because he couldn't get to her sooner and save her. He cried because she was hurt and he didn't know how to help her.

--

"Ow." Bones moaned as she opened her eyes.

"Hey. How are you feeling?" Booth asked her softly.

"What are you still doing here?" She asked him sleepily.

"Where else would I be?"

"I want you to leave."

"Why Bones? I want to be here."

"I…I…please just go." Booth was becoming frantic. He didn't understand why she was pushing him away.

"No." He simply said and Bones sighed. He could be so damn infuriating.

"This is my room and I don't want you here."

"Why? Just tell me what the hell I did."

"It's not you. It's me."

"My god that is so damn cliché Bones." He snapped.

"Get the hell out of my room."

"Don't push me away Temperance."

"Dammit Booth why won't you listen to me?" She shouted.

"I will listen if you would actually say something besides get the hell out of my room." He shouted back.

"I know that you are disgusted with me and I…"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I can see the disgust in your eyes. I probably have STD's. I have an infection in my ass and I'm getting an abortion and I know how you feel about abortion. Hell, I'm disgusted with myself."

"You aren't disgusting. None of this is your fault and I apologize for what I said earlier about the pregnancy. I just didn't think…"

"No Booth you didn't think. You didn't think that if I had this child then I would have to spend the rest of my life looking at the face of one of the men who…" She couldn't bring herself to say the word rape out loud, not even to Booth.

"Oh my god Bren." Neither of them heard Angela come into the room.

"How long have you been eavesdropping?" Bones snapped.

"Sweetie I…" Angela was interrupted when a nurse walked into the room with a wheelchair.

"Dr. Brennan it's time for your first dialysis treatment." She came over and helped Bones out of bed and into the wheelchair.

"I don't want you here when I return." Bones said staring at Booth. The nurse began to wheel Bones out of the room but Angela stepped in front of the wheelchair. She knelt down and took her friends hand in her own.

"What happened Bren?" Angela asked softly

"Why don't you ask him? He has no problem telling everyone what happened. In fact Booth, why don't you take out a front page ad in the newspaper?"

"Come on Bones. You're being ridiculous."

"Let's go." Bones said to the nurse. As soon as Bones was out of the room Angela turned to Booth with tears streaming down her face.

"How bad is it?" She asked him.

"It's bad Ange. It's really bad." Booth told her sadly.

--

"Is this seat taken?" Angela asked her friend. She had found her way to the dialysis unit so she could sit with Bones during her treatment.

"Why are you here?" Bones asked.

"I want to be. May I sit?" When she didn't answer Angela just sat in the empty seat. "How are you sweetie?"

"Wonderful Angela. Thanks for asking."

"Because you are my friend and you have been through hell over the past few weeks I'll give your smart ass answers a free pass but you only get so many of those passes Bren."

"So Booth told you what happened?" Fury was burning in her blue eyes.

"No actually he didn't. He said that it wasn't his place to tell me what happened to you."

"That's a first since he has told everyone else."

"He told your doctor Bren. That's it. Your doctor needed your history so he could treat you to the best of his ability." Angela defended Booth.

"Of course. Booth is perfect. How could I forget?"

"Why are you being such a bitch to Booth? What the hell did he do to you?"

"Excuse me? You have no right…"

"I do have a right. It's my right as your friend Bren to tell you when you are being a bitch to a great guy."

"You have no idea…"

"I have some idea Bren. Sure I don't know the exact horrible details of the hell you endured but by looking at the bruises that are covering your body and from the conversation that I walked in on I have a pretty damn good idea." Angela had tears streaming down her face.

"It was horrible." Bones admitted softly and tearfully.

"I can't even begin to imagine what you went through Bren."

"No you can't. It's unimaginable."

"I want to help you Bren. I want to do whatever I can for you but I'm not the one who can help you."

"I don't need or want help."

"You may not want it sweetie but you sure need it."

"I'm fine." Bones whispered her voice and chin trembling.

"We have been best friends for years but not anymore."

"What are you talking about Angela? You are still my best friend."

"No I'm not. Booth has taken over that role in your life and I'm okay with that. Booth is your best friend and you are his and sweetie, he is the one that can help you if you just let him." Bones turned her head away from her friend so Angela wouldn't see her tears that were falling. Angela reached out and took her hand, reminding her without words that she wasn't alone.

"Something wonderful happened." Bones finally whispered turning back towards Angela.

"Bren?"

"Before I left something wonderful and amazing, something that I never expected happened between me and Booth. I left feeling so happy, so fulfilled but now I'm not the same woman I was a month ago."

"Of course you're not the same woman. No one expects you to be but one day you can become that woman again."

"No…no I can't."

"Yes you can. You are the strongest woman I know."

"You don't understand Angela. Some of the things that I am going to do, the things that I allowed to be done to me he will think …he thinks I'm a disgusting horrible person and he'll never look at or feel the same way about me again. Hell, I think or know that I'm a horrible disgusting person." Angela's heart was breaking at those words her friend spoke.

"You didn't allow those horrible things to happen to you. Whatever happened to you was forced sweetie."

"You weren't there. You don't understand."

"Maybe not but one thing I do know is you are not a horrible disgusting person and I know that Booth doesn't think that either. He loves you sweetie and I know you love him."

"It doesn't matter what I thought I felt or what Booth thinks he feels. None of it matters anymore."

"Bren what are you saying?"

"I just want everything to be like it was before."

"After what you have been through nothing will ever be like it was before but with Booth's help things can be better then it was."

"I appreciate what you are trying to do Angela but I don't need Booth's help or anyone's help. I'm fine."

"I don't believe that and I don't think that you do either." Angela said softly.

"Physically I'm not fine but I will be and as soon as I'm out of the hospital and back at work everything will be fine. I will be fine."

"Bren…"

"I just want to be left alone to process, it's what I do best I process so please respect that and leave this whole situation and me alone."

"I love you sweetie and I don't know if I can do that."

"If that is true then you will do as I ask. It's what I need right now Ange. I need to be alone."

"Why? Why do you want to be alone when you have people, friends that love and want to help you?" Angela asked desperately.

"Because alone I can't hurt anyone and I can't get hurt."

"Oh sweetie." Bones pulled her hand away from Angela's.

"Please go Ange."

"I…I…don't want to." Angela cried.

"Don't make this any harder then it has to be Angela. All I'm asking for is time alone. Is that really to much to ask?"

"I guess not." Angela stood and grabbed her purse. "When you decide that you need me, I'm just a phone call away."

"Would you please tell Booth that I want to be left alone?"

"I would do most anything for you sweetie but not this. If you want Booth to leave you alone then you need to tell him yourself." Angela bent down and kissed her friend's cheek. "I love you Bren."

--

Angela called Booth after she left the hospital and she shared the conversation that she and Bones had. After he had a shower, called Parker to check in and grabbed some dinner he returned to the hospital knowing it would be easier just to say home and away from her like she wanted but that was the last thing he was going to do.

"Hey Bones. You look better. That dialysis must be working." He said walking into her room.

"I'm tired and I would like to get some sleep."

"Have you had dinner yet?" He asked ignoring her sleep comment.

"I'm not hungry."

"Regardless, hungry or not you still need to eat so you can get your strength up."

"I am not a child Booth and you are not my parent so don't tell me what to do."

"I'm just looking out for you Bones. I just want you to get better."

"I don't want you looking out for me. I don't need you looking out for me. I'm fine." She yelled.

"Yeah Bones you're fine."

"Just go away Booth. I don't need you here."

"Push as hard as you want but I'm not going anywhere."

"Why can't you understand that I just want to be left alone?" She was still yelling at him and now her tears were flowing.

"Bones I love you and I want to be here for you." He reached out for her but she flinched away from him. "See you are afraid of me and you know, deep down that I would never hurt you."

"I don't know what I know anymore." She sobbed.

"You know me Bones and you know that you can trust me." She turned her head away from Booth and sobbed quietly. Booth sat on the edge of her bed, placed his hand on her arm and when she didn't pull away from him he gently pulled her to his chest and she didn't resist. He wrapped an arm around her and held her tightly while she sobbed.

"You're not going to leave me alone are you?" She mumbled into his chest when she calmed herself down.

"No Temperance I have no intention of leaving you alone."

"I don't want to talk about what happened to me. I don't know if I'll ever talk about it. Can you accept that?"

"No." He told her honestly. "What happened to you was horrible and it's going to eat you up inside and maybe eventually destroy you if you don't talk about it. I won't push you to talk about it but I know that one day you'll want to talk about it and when you do I'll be here, ready to listen."

"I just want to forget this ever happened and return to a normal life. Is that possible Booth?"

"I don't think you'll ever be able to forget Temperance and one day you may be able to return to a normal life but it's not going to be tomorrow, next week or even next month. It's going to be a very long, rough road Bones but eventually things may return to normal."

"It won't be a long road because I'm fine Booth."

"I'm sorry I didn't get to you sooner; that you had to go through all of that hell." He whispered softly.

"You didn't know."

"I should have known. I should have felt that something was off."

"You have nothing to feel guilty for Booth. I'm the one who has to carry the guilt with me for the rest of my life."

"Bones why do you feel guilty?"

"Never mind Booth. I want to sleep now. You can go home."

"I told you. I'm not going anywhere. Go ahead and sleep and I'll be here when you wake up." He kissed the top of her head. "I love you so much Bones, so much."

"Goodnight Booth."

For the first time in almost a month Bones was not afraid to fall asleep. She wasn't afraid of getting woken up in the middle of the night to be attacked. She felt safe in Booth's arms but it didn't stop the numerous nightmares that plagued her most of the night. When she woke up screaming and crying Booth reassured her that she was safe and he just held her until she fell back to sleep. Finally after her fifth nightmare Bones acted like she fell back asleep but she didn't. She couldn't handle another nightmare so she spent the remaining of the night lying perfectly still in her hospital bed, listening to Booth's soft snoring and strangely finding comfort in the sound. She hated that she lied to Booth. She wasn't fine, she was far from it and she didn't know if she would ever be fine again.