Alright, here comes chapter 4! Chapter 5 will be written tomorrow and handed off to my new beta-reader, stupid-fritz! He'll be the reason why my writings (at least for this fiction) won't suck! w00t!

Alright so, thanks to him and to aquarela (it is on Bella's side somewhat. I'm sure you'll see more of it later on in the story. It's developing slower than I thought it was going, but it's given me time to think about the direction as well), youn2731 (she'll live... sorta), racer717 and You Are The Dark (yeah, she really isn't going to be lol) for your reviews!

Chapter 4 - Sorrow and My Goodbyes

"Gumdrops," I said to the gargoyle.

"You sound excited this time," it commented. I shook my head at it but it said nothing more and opened up. I rushed up the stairs to see Dumbledore standing with Dumbledore. I jumped backwards for a moment and my eyes flicked back and forth.

"Miss Granger!" future Dumbledore proclaimed. "How very good to see you, it seems that this time you got yourself into quite the predicament."

I said nothing and only rushed into him with a hug. He was taken aback but wrapped his gentle arms around me. "What's the matter Miss Granger?" present Dumbledore asked. I began to sniffle as I turned my head toward him.

"I have done something I really shouldn't have," I said.

"Going back in time this far has never been done, but that's no reason to beat yourself up Miss Granger," he said.

"It's not that," I said. I broke the hug with future Dumbledore and looked at them both. "I did something that some might call forbidden. I—I fell for Bellatrix Black."

"Fell for?" present Dumbledore bit his lower lip. His pale blue eyes locked with his future self's eyes.

"Falling for the enemy," he sighed. "It's something I know far too well."

"R—really, who was she?" I had to ask.

"He was the most powerful dark wizard before the time of Voldermort," future Dumbledore replied. They both hung their heads down. "You must not tell Harry about this. It's something I never want him to know. I'm ashamed for my actions."

"It's not because of gender," present Dumbledore went on. "It was more about the fact that this man was going to go off and kill thousands of people and I so foolishly followed his steps. If it isn't for my brother, I don't know what I would have become."

I placed my hand to my mouth and held back a gasp. "I can't help my feelings," I said. "She's so forceful, beautiful," I said. "I know what she becomes but there was apart of me that wanted to change her but there's no way to that, is there?"

"I'm afraid not Miss Granger," future Dumbledore said. "She isn't mentally stable just as Grindelwald was not."

"How can you tell love from lust?" I asked.

"Lust is just sexual desire," present Dumbledore said. "You have an uncontrollable need to sexually be with the person. It's really nothing more than attraction."

"But love can stem from lust," future Dumbledore said. "Love, however, is passionate affection. It's something that goes beyond sex. And even if the relationship started out in lust, it may end in love."

"Love is by far the most important thing," present Dumbledore went on. "Lust is sometimes disguised as love at first. You must be careful Miss Granger."

"Yes," future Dumbledore agreed. "How do you feel about Miss Black?"

"I—I just want to—" I couldn't finish the sentence. I knew what I wanted out of her, but I couldn't bring myself to admit it. Part of me wanted to be her slave but I knew that her loyalties would soon lie with Voldermort. I just wish Voldermort never existed. If he hadn't then I could be with Bellatrix. Lust or not, I needed it. I felt more alive with her.

"I see," present Dumbledore said. "You need to get back to your own time and please try to snap the connection to Miss Black. She will become Miss Lestrange and she will be a Death Eater."

"And I can't change her or her course of history, can I?" Hermione asked.

"No," they both said in unison.

I hung my head low. It was only the morning and I was already feeling drained. I stared back at them for what seemed forever. "Can I go back to my own time now?" I asked.

Future Dumbledore pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and came closer to me. "The problem is I'm no longer the headmaster at the school. I'm in hiding right now."

"What?" I asked. "Then who is?" I couldn't conceal the shocked look on my face and I was terrified of the answer. I already knew it I just didn't want to come to terms with it.

"Dolores Umbridge," he replied. "I need to get you back safely but she's going to make that difficult. As of right now, she doesn't even know you are missing. I made sure of that. Come back tonight, and by then I'll have a safe place for us to go to. From there you can safely go back to school and the time line will be fixed.

"I just have slight adjustments to make before then."

I nodded my head. Future Dumbledore and present Dumbledore disappeared with the time-turner. I was left standing alone in their office. I was so sure I was going back to my own time and now I had a burning rage in my stomach.

How did they expect me to avoid Bellatrix? It wasn't that easy. The second I leave this office, she'd find me. I decided to stay in Dumbledore's office and wait for his return. The room was silent and all I could hear was the buzzing of a nearby trinket. I closed my eyes in his chair and started to doze off.

---

Bellatrix was in tears. I started to run toward her but I couldn't reach her. It seemed like every time I took a step, I would be launched backwards. I sucked up my breath and tried again, but to no avail. Soon enough, I saw Bellatrix get up. She wasn't the young beautiful girl I slept with, but the maniac woman she had become after her time at Azkaban.

I took three steps back but now I was recoiling toward her. She had an angry look on her face as she starred at me. I couldn't understand why but her face almost looked like a skull. Her bony arm lifted her wand to me. "You lied to me," she muttered. "You filthy mudblood, how dare you lie to me?!"

I was frozen. "I—I didn't mean to Bella," I said through my tears.

"Don't you ever call me that again," she snarled. Before I could move, she waved her wand and out of the tip came a green light. I woke up with a start and in a sweat. I looked around to see that it was around lunch time. I shook my head and for some reason I started to think that Dumbledore's plan might not work out the way he wanted it to.

---

I sat there until dinner time. I began to write an essay just to calm my nerves. Its lame, I know, but it was keeping my mind off my nightmares. I didn't want to think about Bellatrix killing me or holding me hostage. I wanted her to hold me, but never in anger.

By the time the sun setting, I was starting to get hungry. I could feel my stomach protest against not being fed. I stood up and walked over to the door. I had no choice. I had to go out there and face Bellatrix.

I opened the door and crept out into the hallway. I made sure I looked for any signs of Bellatrix. There were none. I ran down to the great hall and took great care to just blend in with the crowd. I saw Narcissa and Andromeda sitting on the very far end of the table. I shook my head and rushed away from them.

I began to look for Bellatrix's slick black hair. Usually, I could tell it was her by her sheen and her two white barrettes. There was no sign of her. I breathed a sigh of relief and took a seat as far away from her sisters as I could.

I ate much like Ron would and it made my stomach crawl. I didn't want to sit there for too long and risk having Bellatrix or her boyfriend come around. I had to tell myself to calm down but it didn't work. Once I was finished eating, I rushed out of the Great Hall and tried to get back to Dumbledore's office.

I was almost there when someone pulled my robes back hard. I turned my head around to see Bellatrix smirking behind me. "I didn't think I was going to see you till tonight," she said.

Shit was all I could think. It was ringing through my brain and out my ears. "B—Bella!" I said. I was trying to sound excited but it was proving difficult. I was sure that my voice came out more like a scared tremble.

She roughly turned me around and slammed my body into the wall. This hallway was the least trafficked hallway in the school. I had come here with Krum and sat on the benches. This was where I spilled my guts to him. Bellatrix Black was now holding me up against a wall here. Her black eyes fused into mine.

"Surprised?" she asked. I simply nodded my head. She laughed softly and pressed her body into mine. There was something about her that was horribly unstable. "It seems that the man I was telling you about wants me to finish Hogwarts before I can go with him. He says he needs more followers anyway. I feel so hurt by him."

I felt her fingers in my hair again. She was petting me and leaning her body harder into me still. I wasn't sure if she could even feel the fear that was building up in the pit of my stomach. "Why does he want you to finish Hogwarts?" I asked.

"He wants me to be fully educated when I join him," she smiled. "I suppose I believe in him but I'm still hurt."

"Why's that?"

"I won't be able to run away with you and I might even lose you," Bellatrix said. "Not to mention that I won't be with him. That's all I really want."

I gulped and looked into her eyes. She kissed me again and this time there was much more force in her lips. She was sucking me dry and her fingers curled tightly around my hair. Tears welled up in my closed eyes. She was slightly hurting me and I was terrified to notice that I liked it.

She had never looked so good as she did that night and I never felt so right being with her in this rough manner. She was completely dominating me. I usually want to be the leader but I found out that when it comes to sex, I was a completely submissive.

She surprised me by running her fingers over my thighs while her other hand gripped my hair and cocked my head back. I yelped in surprise which made her laugh. Her mouth was on my neck. She licked up and down the base of my throat and I started to lose my breath when she bit down on my flesh.

Her hands found their way around my thighs and under the band of my panties. She lightly stroked me around the outside of my lips. She made the hair on the back of my neck raise. She was pinning me the wall and her thin fingers were finding their way inside of me. "Bella," I whispered.

She sucked and bit my neck over and over again and it drove me completely wild. My hands were in the forms of claws and I ran my nails down her back. I hiked one of my legs over her back to push her deeper into me. Every skin cell was on fire. She broke off from my neck to look at my face. I was twisted in complete ecstasy as she pushed herself harder into me still.

I felt myself losing control and I finally released everything I had onto to her. She kissed me while I orgasmed and bit my lower lip with her canines. She ran her mouth over my neck again and withdrew her fingers from me. After licking her fingers clean she whispered "Don't leave me,"

My hands found her shoulders and pushed her softly. "I—I have to Bella," I whispered. "I—I don't want to but I have to. You understand don't you?"

"I do, but I'll find you again," she said. "You will always be mine."

Fear gripped me. At that moment, I wanted to run away. I wanted to find Dumbledore and beg him to take me back. I had to get as far away from her as I could. She broke our embrace. "I have to go look for my boyfriend," she said. She leaned in to kiss me again. It was softer this time and it felt like goodbye. She said nothing more and walked away from me.

She didn't have her robes on or her blazer. Her skirt was rolled as high as it could be. I watched her walk away and the entire time my eyes were on her arse. I held my breath and once she was out of my sight, I ran to Dumbledore's office.

He was there, but he was alone. "Where's the other Dumbledore?" I asked.

"He's waiting for you," he said. "Well, I'm waiting for you." He chuckled. "It's time for you to go back to your life and your friends. Are you ready?"

"I am."

He came close to me and dropped the time-turner in my hands. "It's already set to the time and date when you left. Listen carefully to me; I wasn't sure if I could do this. I thought that I was going to have you go back to the time it is now, but I made it so you go back to where you started. Here is the catch, everything that happened now, it won't go away. It's now apart of the past.

"Please be careful Miss Granger."

His words shocked me. I was going to go back and nothing was going to change but I was going to have all this knowledge with me? Not to mention that what I did with Bellatrix is going to remain in the past? My head was spinning. Harry, Ron, Ginny and Luna were all going to know nothing.

"Go back and please do not mention what you know of the future," he said. "Don't try to change it no matter how much you may want to."

"Yes, sir," I said weakly.

"I will be in my office. Go back to the time before you were fiddling with this and go see him."

"Can't I go back and warn myself not to play with it?" I asked.

"That is going to be messy," he said. "There would be two of you in the same period and you wouldn't be able to exist. It's just the time paradox."

I nodded my head. "Makes sense to me. Thank you sir," I said. He smiled warmly at me.
I looked down and turned the time-turner. The room spun around me and I lost sight of where I was going again. I closed my eyes and when I opened them, I was back in the common room. I was back in my time.

I looked down at the time-turner and sighed. My mind went to Bellatrix and my eyes welled up again. She wasn't the beautiful girl she was; she was a complete maniac now. What was I going to do now?

So, as I said, hopefully tomorrow the next chapter will be up and we'll see how it goes from there. Thanks to everyone who has set this to their alerts, has read, will continue to read and to anyone who reviews! I really appreciate it!