A/N: Thank you guys so much for the awesome reviews! I am so happy you guys like the story. So on with the chapter, a little bit of Sam and Bella bonding in this one…. Enjoy!
Waking up was like hell. I was feeling like pure shit today. My heart was probably exhausted from all of its ache and crying. I needed to be more careful especially around Charlie.
Checking the clock, I made sure not to go downstairs till around 1. I needed to make sure my dad wasn't around. I didn't want to see him.
Hearing no sound in the house, I did my morning routine and ate some breakfast. Just as I was finishing up washing the bowl, there was a knock on the door. Going to see who it was, I found Sam.
"Hey," I said opening the door wider to let him in.
"Hey, how are you?" he asked.
Suddenly, I became faint. "Good," I replied weakly. Leaning on the door a bit more, I tried to focus. Oh no. My pills. I didn't take them yet.
"Bella?" he asked a bit concerned. He immediately stepped into the house and observed me carefully.
"I-…" I said faintly. My head was spinning and I couldn't focus on my words.
Stumbling over to the stairs, the room started to spin and my legs gave out. Feeling a pair of warm arms catch me, I forcefully blackened out for a second.
"Bella? Bella?" Sam called frightened.
"Sam?" I asked coming to. "What?" I asked confused. What had happened? I checked my surroundings. The front door was wide open, and I was laying against the stairs with Sam hovering over me.
Crap. I passed out. Sitting up slowly, I found Sam looking at me worried.
"Sorry," I said putting a hand to my head. The room was still slightly spinning.
"We should get you to a doctor," he said putting a hand on my lower back.
"No," I said weakly pushing his guiding hands away, "I'm okay."
"Bella you just-"
"I know," I said gathering my thoughts. I needed to cover this up and I needed to get my pills.
"I'm okay Sam. Really. I just felt a little faint. It must have been from exhaustion. I'm super tired."
I stood up and waited for the room to stop spinning. Closing my eyes, I winced. My head was pounding. "Haven't been sleeping well," I added to my lame excuse.
"Come on," he said closing the front door and walking up a couple steps to help guide me down to even ground.
When he got me situated- lying sprawled out on the couch with a blanket covering me, I turned to look at the man in front of me. "Sorry, this isn't probably why you came."
He set his hand down on the side of my face and brushed some hair away from my eyes.
"That's okay, I don't mind," he said softly.
"Will you stay?" I asked as my eyes droop. Realizing what I just ask, I shook my head and sat up. The room began spinning again as I got up too quick.
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked you that," I said shutting my eyes and holding my head again.
"No, its fine Bella," he said sitting down where my head was. He pulled me in his arm and laid my head on his lap gently. He continued to play with my hair, running his thick hands through it. "It's okay. I will be here when you wake up."
"Thanks," I breathed, finding his motions to be soothing. He watched me as I slept in his lap. He was comfortable even though the position didn't sound like it. I felt his fingers repeated ran through my hair and down my arm. At times, when the blanket would slip from my moving, he would pull it back up, making sure I was covered.
I woke up a few hours later, Sam now asleep too. Slowly I pulled myself up and waited for the fog to lift. Why was my head sleeping on Sam's lap?
"Right," I breathed talking to myself. I blackened out. Tearing my body away from Sam's warm arms, I looked at the clock and found it to be 6. Charlie would be home soon. Great.
"How are you feeling?" a voice asked cutting my thoughts. I looked over to the speaker and found Sam awake looking at me.
"I thought you were asleep," I smiled.
He gave me a smile and brushed his hand against my face lightly. "You okay now?" he asked still concerned.
I nodded. His touch did something funny to me. I always felt this tingling sensation when we came in contact with each other. I couldn't understand it. Was I attracted to him? I enjoyed being in his presence that was sure. He made me feel calm and relaxed. Even though I just met him I felt safe, secure almost too.
But he was older than me. A lot older. He was 27 and I was 18. That was a huge age difference. He couldn't possibly find interest in me could he?
"Bella?" Sam asked strangely. I looked up to him and blushed. I must have zoned out.
"Sorry," I laughed with embarrassment. He smiled and watched me as I got up. Stretching, I found myself doing a lot better- whether it was Sam's presence or the nap. I caught Sam's eyes looking at the edge of my shirt, where my stomach was barely showing as I lifted my arms.
Giving him a raised eyebrow, I let out a laugh and went to the kitchen. I had stashed some emergency pills of mine in the medicine cupboard. I took out the unmarked bottle from the way back and popped out two.
Just as I was swallowing them, Sam came into the kitchen and sat down.
"So umm…how are you and your dad?"
I must have had an expression on my face because Sam spoke up, "that good huh?" he asked.
I sighed and leaned back against the counter. "I don't know. It's just hard." I played with my hands as my eyebrows furrowed.
"Anything I can do to help?" he asked sweetly. I gave him a kind look. The man was nice-really nice.
"Can you bail me out of the house before he comes home?" I joked. "I've been avoiding him ever since he got back last night."
Sam raised an eyebrow at me. "Did you want to grab some dinner?" he asked.
"Really?" I questioned with a smile. I was only teasing, but he was willing to do this for me.
He nodded. I went to go my stuff but turned back before I left the kitchen. "Are you sure? I don't want you to get in any trouble with my dad because of what's going on."
"Go get your stuff," he said nodding for me to go upstairs. I let out a breath of relief. A get away was just what I needed and having it be with Sam was just an added bonus.
I skipped down the stairs this time with my jacket and purse in hand. Sam met me at the bottom step, opening the door to the house and all.
A perfect gentleman- could I fall for him any faster?
I thought about my sudden growing feelings for Sam as he drove us to the diner. Did I really like him? Was I falling too hard for him? Maybe being ridiculous about this whole thing?
"You okay?" Sam's voice rang out.
"Yea, I was just…thinking," I said embarrassed. He took a quick glance over at me and nodded. I turned my attention back to the window. I couldn't possibly fall for this guy. He was older; he probably had a girlfriend or something. Plus, I was only here for a few months- three at most if Renee lets me.
We pulled into a parking space and got out. It had just started to thunder as we headed inside. Grabbing a table, we slid into a booth, sitting across from each other. Sam handed me a menu, which I thanked him for.
The waitress came over, taking our drink order. Once Sam and I talked over what we were both getting, I set my menu down in front of me and stared at him.
"So besides what happened this afternoon, how was your day?" I wondered. He set his menu down too and stared back at me. "It was good. I was worried about you though," he said honesty. My forehead creased. Why would he be worried about me? I was okay for the most part.
"Yesterday was rough," he said.
"Rough was not exactly the word I would use," I said picking up my drink. He watched me, which I felt a little uncomfortable with. Why was I so fascinating?
"But umm…did you stop by today because you needed something? Oh," I said thinking he probably had things to do today. I was probably the last distraction he needed. "I didn't hold you up from anything today did I? I didn't even think-"
I began to babble, which he quickly stopped by leaning over, and taking my hand. "Relax," he said calmly. "I just came over to check on you and see how things were. Charlie seemed a little distracted when I stopped by the station."
I let out a sigh of relief and then looked at our hands. They were entwined in the middle of the table. I wasn't sure what do about that so I slowly pulled it away. His expression flickered to something like hurt? No Bella, you're going crazy, I thought to myself.
"You…work with my dad?" I asked nervously. I felt somewhat awkward. Maybe I shouldn't have pulled my hand away. Then a thought came over me. Crap, if he worked with my dad that meant I held him back from work, which in turn would lead Charlie to worry and then find out what I was hiding. Great going Bella.
"No, I am in construction actually," he said cutting the flow of emotions I was feeling-most of them happened to be panic. I furrowed my eyebrows. Then why was he with my dad? Sam must have read my mind or something because he explained. "They are going to redo the Forks Police Station. Apparently they want more office space and such so they hired this contracting company I work for, so I had to stop by to drop off the blue prints."
"Oh," I said surprised. That was a relief.
Our food came just in time. The waitress set them down in front of us and we thanked her. Digging in, our chatter started to flow again. I learned little things about him like his favorite color was brown, he was an only child, he was the one that creates the blue prints for his company, he doesn't like to read, and he has a house just a little ways from the La Push beach.
"So can I ask you a question?" he said as we went to pay.
"Sure," I said with my hands in my pockets. He insisted on paying the bill, telling me he just felt like it was right- the guy should always pay. So after about 5 minutes of arguing with him, I finally gave in. He could read me that was for sure. Each time I brought up a reason why he shouldn't have to pay for both of us he just laid the guilt trip on me.
"What happened today when you passed out? Were you honestly just overly exhausted?" he wondered staring me in the eyes. I felt little butterflies growing. Sam was nice; I didn't want to lie to him. But I knew it was something I had to do. If he found out, then someone else was a potential to find out and then it could all come back to bite me in the ass if my dad found out.
I turned, opening the door for us. It was now raining.
"Yea," I said over my shoulder. I didn't want to look at him when I was lying. I felt guilty enough as it was. Sam stopped me by the elbow and faced me in the pouring rain. He brought a finger under my chin and tilted it up to look at him.
We stared at each other for a few seconds before I laughed. I went up onto my tiptoes raising my hand up to his hair. Tugging through it through softly, I smiled at his short croppy black hair. It was sopping wet. Then, I blatantly realized we were standing out in the rain. Looking all around, I smiled. I loved the rain it was something I missed. Phoenix was dry as a bone; Colorado was filled with ice and snow, Texas was also dry and pretty hot, but Forks-Forks was different. Sure it was raining and somewhat cold but it had its days of sunny weather and clear skies.
I stepped back from Sam and looked all around, especially up at the sky. It felt good to feel rain. I felt like everything was washing away. I got a fresh start.
It began coming down harder, which just made me smile even brighter. I took my hands out of my pockets and opened them. My shirt and jacket was drenched and I was somewhat cold, but it felt good. It felt right.
"Bella, you are going to catch a cold, come on," Sam said a bit louder to me than usual. I heard him shuffling closer to me. Bringing my head back down from the sky, I stared at him. He was now hovering a bit above me with that intense stare he could give me. It wasn't a strong disapproving glare. It wasn't even controlling or freighting. It was just loving. He stared at me like…I couldn't even describe it. His face was kept straight, but his eyes showed everything about him. As I continued to match his gaze, I felt everything around me melt away. It was just him and me, right here, right now.
"Lets go," I said pulling myself out of it. A smile forming on my lips again. I had no idea what was going on, but I liked it. Tugging on his hand, I led us to the car, only to drop it so we could both get in.
As the radio played in our silence, I pulled a hair tie off my wrist and grabbed my hair shifting it into a ponytail. My mood became light again. I felt better. Gosh, if only rain could do this to me every time.
I glanced over at Sam and let out a little giggle. He was drenched. Taking a look at me, I gave him an apologetic look.
"Sorry," I said referring to his wet attire. He just shook his head with a smile and let out a laugh. The ride home was quiet yet peaceful. We didn't talk because nothing needed to be said. Everything was calm.
We pulled back into Charlie's driveway and I let out a breath. His cruiser was here, that meant he was home.
"You okay?" he asked for the tenth time today. I nodded, still watching the front of my house through his car. I made no effort to move which kind of gave him the hint I wasn't okay.
He took my hand in his again, this time more a bit hesitantly.
"Did you want me to go in with you?"
I didn't stare at our hands. It felt oddly comfortable.
"No, I'm okay," I whispered out. Pushing some bangs back that fell out of the pony, I grabbed my purse and slid my hand out from his, getting out of the car.
"Thanks for tonight Sam," I said before going to shut the door. "And sorry about the scare today." His eyes darkened. Was I imagining that?
"Its okay Bella, just be careful okay? Don't push yourself too hard," he warned. I found his words slightly ironic. I couldn't push myself too hard- unless I wanted to die.
"Sure, will do. Thanks again," I said actually closing the door this time. I gave him a wave and then headed inside. His car didn't move from the driveway.
Standing at the front door to the house, I set my hand on the knob and paused. I could do this right? I could face him and not do something crazy or stupid. I wouldn't fall apart right?
Headlights still waited and I knew Sam wasn't going to be leaving till I entered the house. Giving a small smile at his caring gestures, I opened the door and slowly stepped in. The game wasn't playing and the house was quiet. Shutting the door behind me, I jumped as Charlie spoke.
"Are we going to talk about this?" he asked.
I put my hand over my heart and tried to calm myself down.
"I know you're avoiding me," my dad tried again.
I bit my lip and took off my shoes.
His chair scratched beneath the wooden floor and he came to look at me. "You're soaking wet. Where have you been?" he asked.
"Out," I breathed taking off my sticky jacket.
"Bella," he called as I began walking upstairs. "Dad what do you want me to say? Congratulations on getting married? Sorry I couldn't be there for the wedding? Oh wait," I said in a harsh tone, "I wasn't invited. I didn't have a clue about it."
He sighed and tried to get me to see reason. "I just didn't know how you would react. I didn't want to feel hurt and upset."
"Well its too late for that isn't it," I said spinning around to look at him. "You could have called or emailed," I told him. "You could have told me. You knew I wasn't going to tell mom anything."
"I'm sorry," he said exasperated. I sighed at my stubbornness. Sometimes it just didn't let up.
"Yea, I know dad, but sorry doesn't do shit." Turning back around I walked up the rest of the steps and shut my door. I changed my clothes and sat on my bed reading. Unfortunately Charlie came into my room a little while later. I held back a loud groan as I set down my book.
"What?" I asked.
"Look, we are both stubborn, but I can't let this go. You need to understand I love her," he said.
"I know that," I said clueless. Was this why he thought I was mad? Because he loved Sue and not Renee? Could he be this blind?
"Dad, I don't have a problem with you loving Sue," I said getting up from my previous position on the bed.
He now gave me a confused look. Obviously to him, it was.
"God how could you be so-" I held back the rest of my words.
"I'm happy for you," I ground out slowly. "I am glad you got over mom and moved on to find someone. I am happy," I repeated. "But you just- you didn't even-" my frustration was getting to me with ever sentence I thought. Everything in me was screaming at me to just let it all out. To tell him my true thoughts and feelings.
"Its great that you are in love again dad. I just need some time to adjust."
His posture relaxed a bit and I plopped back on my stomach with my book. Ignoring my persistent negative thoughts, I looked at him when I noticed he wasn't leaving.
"So you aren't mad?"
I held back a strong impulse to roll my eyes. Sometimes I hated men. They were so oblivious.
"I just need to get used to the fact I have a step mom and some siblings," I said with a forced smile. He let out a breath and nodded.
"Okay good. Night Bells," he said shutting my door before hearing a reply.
"Yea, night," I huffed out. Taking a minute to breath, I turned back to my book. My anger was bubbling. Throwing my book across the room, I let out a frustrated sigh. Stupid man. Stupid thoughts. And stupid feelings.
My cell phone rang and I found it was Renee. Calming myself down a bit, I flipped open the phone.
"Hey Sweetie, I didn't hear from you today." She said.
"Hey mom," I said more relaxed. "Yea, sorry about that- crazy day."
"Are you okay?" she said a bit panicked. I bit my lip. DO I tell her? Sighing, I gave into my stupid conscious and told her what happened today. "I may have blackened out for a second today."
"Oh god, are you okay? You should come home. You need to come home," she said fast.
"Mom wait. Woah, slow down," I said as she kept rambling on. "I woke up and it slipped my mind to take my pills. It was totally my fault. I should have been more careful."
"Bella, we should really inform your father," Renee sighed. Immediately I protested. "No, mom, please no," I said. With everything going on now, I especially didn't want Charlie to know.
"Well then how about someone else? Billy Black perhaps? Or his son you used to play with…uhh…Josh? John?..."
"Jacob," I said.
"Right," she said. "Tell him."
"No mom, really, I just don't want anyone to know right now. I will be fine. I'm sorry." I said. I felt guilty. I was being irresponsible with my health.
"Bella, I just want someone looking out for you since I cant. I worry," she said motherly.
"I know," I said. It was obvious she worried- I got that trait from her. "But I will be okay. And people look out for me here even if they don't know," I said thinking of Sam. Immediately Renee heard something for my voice and asked for details. I wasn't sure what to say really. He was 27 and I was only 18. My mom would not be happy with that 9-year age difference.
So I told her little things about him- where I met him, what he looked like, how he seemed really nice. I left out the things like when he walked me home or this evening when he took me out.
"So you like him?" she questioned. She must have thought he was around my age, which made me feel a twinge of guilt.
"Umm…I don't know," I said with a blush. I did like him, but I knew it wasn't right. The age this was kind of a big issue. And I couldn't seem to understand why he would take interest in me. I was just an 18-year-old girl.
We talked for a little while longer before I needed to hang up. School was tomorrow and I had to get some sleep.