We sit in the house in silence, not sure what to say. Ian holds me, though not to tightly. He doesn't want to anger Jared. Ever since I was reinserted into Mel, Jared hasn't move. He just sits, staring at the wall, his jaw locked and his eyes glazed. Jeb and Kyle aren't back yet, and I want to go check on them. But Ian refuses to let me move. He keeps forgetting that I wasn't shot, just Pet.
Pet still lay on the floor, the bleeding mostly stopped. I cringe as I look at her, missing my old body. Despite the small frame and lack of muscle, Pet had become me over the past year. And now, looking at her frail, empty form, I feel as if I've died with her.
"Jared?" a voice calls from outside. Jeb. They've been gone for a long time, and I wonder if Lynn's group has left or not.
Jared doesn't reply. Ian stands up and approaches the door. I hear it creak open. He talks in a hushed voice to Jeb and Kyle, probably briefing them on the situation. "Is she alright?"
"Wanda's fine," Ian whispers. I bury my head in my hands, Mel's brown hair shading my face.
"But what about Mel?" Kyle asks. I whimper again and search desperately for her presence, but she's not there. My mind is silent albeit my own racing thoughts.
Ian sighs and I picture him running his hands through his hair, biting his lips like he always does. But I'm too afraid to look up. "We don't know."
The heavy pound of footsteps gets closer and I feel Jeb place a hand on my back. "You okay, kid?" I shake my head, fighting the urge to cry. "It'll all be okay. Don't you worry, Wanda." I nod between my legs and hear Ian sigh. "Let's get back outside. The others want to meet with you."
"They're still here? Didn't you talk some sense into them?" Ian growls. Jared stays silent and passive.
"I talked to 'em, but they . . . uh, have some news to share with y'all. About why they . . . " I look up when he drops the sentence and gestures towards Pet's body.
"Because they're monsters, that's why. No more explaining than that," Ian returned.
"Ian, you might want to listen," his brother says seriously. "Wanda, you too."
"We can't, Jeb," I whisper. My voice sounds unfamiliar and nostalgic at the same time. I've had such a high, bright voice for so long that it seems weird to hear Mel's voice speaking my words. "I have to find Mel. I can't do anything until I do," I cry. Tears run down my face. What if I killed her? What if it's my fault that she's gone? What if she never comes back?
Jared turns and looks at me in the eyes, moving for the first time in what seems like forever. "Mel will be fine. She's strong. We need to deal with this now and then go." I'm shocked by his words. I was expecting him to yell at me, to scream, to burst into tears. But he's doing exactly the opposite: he's telling me to forget about the love of his life for the movement and deal with our current problems.
"But I . . ."
"She will be fine, Wanda. Please. Just . . .just let's do this. I want to go home." I don't reply, but he stands up and heads for the door. Jeb gives me a grim smile and follows him. Kyle is hard-faced, like he was when I first got here, and storms out behind him. Ian turns and looks at me. I can tell he wants to kiss me, but he doesn't want to do anything wrong. Kissing me would be kissing Mel, and that would just make me feel worse.
"Wanderer," he whispers, taking my hands. "Come on, honey." I flick my eyes over to Pet's body, limp and red, and choke back tears. I stand up and walk over to her, lift her in my arms. It's surprisingly easy in Mel's strong, fit body. Her blonde hair hangs over my arms and I bite my lip. I walk carefully towards the door. Ian sees where I'm going and opens it for me, leading me outside. The air is cool and bites at my skin. I don't see Jeb, Kyle or Jared, let alone Lynn's group, but assume that they're waiting in the cars.
Ian clears a spot on the ground and starts scooping up the dirt. I lay Pet down gingerly and help him. He doesn't mention that we don't have time for this, or that there are more important things to deal with. He just helps like the kind human he is.
After a little while, we've made a hole big enough for the small girl. I cup her in my arms and kiss her cheek. I pity the poor girl who lost her mind to a Soul, and now her body to a human. I slide her gently into the grave. "I'm sorry," I whisper before helping Ian cover her with dirt. I smooth out the ground over her and suck in my breath. Ian looks at me for a cue, and I nod and stand up.
He takes my hand in his and we walk together towards the front of the house. We find the jeep after a few minutes. We knock on the door and Jeb comes out. "They're parked over there." Jared comes out of the car and follows us, silent.
Lynn is sitting outside of the car, crying softly. This shocks me, but I don't say anything. Her head pops up as we walk by and she wipes desperately at her eyes. She studies me, taking in my silver eyes, and bites her lip. Jeb must've told her about the insertion, but it must be shocking to see it.
"Just hear 'er out, boys," Jeb says to Jared and Ian. He knows that I would never yell at her or attack her in anyway, even with Mel's fire running through my veins. He walks away and leaves us alone with her. I can hear the soft voices of James and Carter talking with themselves from inside the car.
Lynn looks up, her blue eyes shining. "I'm sorry," she murmurs. Her voice is broken.
"It's okay," I reply automatically. Ian sucks in a breath of air—he would have said much worse—and Lynn's eyes bulge out. "I'm the enemy. It was a natural reaction."
"You're not the enemy, Wanda," Ian says at the same time that Jared yells, "Shooting a gun is not a natural reaction."
"I know. I take full blame," Lynn says. I can tell she actually regrets it. "Jeb explained to me all that you've done for them, Wanda. That you've helped them in impossible ways and they'd probably be dead without you . . . It's just—when I saw you, I couldn't think straight."
I blushed at Jeb's praise for me. None of it was true, but I wasn't going to interject. Ian's hand tightened around mine. "It's okay. We'll . . we'll be fine," I lie. I know I will, but what about Mel? If Mel dies, I don't know how—despite the Soul I am—I'll ever forgive Lynn.
"No, you won't. I just ruined your relationship, your body. I can't ever repay you" Lynn apologizes.
"Thank you, but you're right. You can't ever repay us. Now let's go. This was a joke," Jared sneered.
"Wait!" Lynn cried as he turned away. I stared at her with pity and sorrow and pain. With everything I could possibly feel. "I want to tell you why I shot at you. It wasn't just because you were a Soul."
I look at her, perplexed. What other reasons, what other motivations could she possibly have?
Ian looks just as confused as I do, and even Jared's grimace broke slightly. Lynn wiped her eyes again and tilted her head to the side so she wasn't looking directly at us. "That body. The one you were in?"
"Yes," I say carefully.
"She was my daughter."