Chapter Four: The Red Teacup
The next morning I found Seb sitting at one of the tables looking down at the teacup in his hands, I came around him to give him a hug, my head leaning on his shoulder, "What's wrong?"
"I was thinking about last night…about having moments with your mate and then being ripped away from them is just…awful…but then I started thinking about…how you don't have to watch them grow up or fall for others or make foolish mistakes…or even forget who they are," he told me, a brooding look beginning to blossom.
"Oh god Seb, I didn't mean to…I'm so sorry for reminding you…why don't you just go talk to her?" I pinched his sides in exasperation.
"I saw her fawning over August last night…he doesn't know-I don't want him to…but...it was just that he was only a few seats away and she was just close enough to touch and then she had a fight with her grandmother and she quit her job and I don't know where she's going to stay and I can't just ask her because I'm still a stranger and I'm so, so worried that she'll get cold and-"
"Seb, calm down," I commanded, holding his shoulders still when he began to shake, "The curse will be broken soon...and then you can finally kiss her again."
"But that was only once, Dra, and it was in the heat of the battle and she doesn't even like me!"
"Of course she does! Seb, how did she make you feel? How does she make you feel each time you think of or see her?"
"Dread," he replied, "a thick and small ball of dread building in my gut at the thought that today may be our last. That she won't love me, that she won't smile, that her eyes won't glow golden, that there won't be a connection between us anymore. And then nervous wrecks like I can't get her out of my system even if I tried. Followed by fluttering butterflies that are so goddamn giddy because I still get to see her beautiful face even if it's masked by makeup and that somewhere...somewhere there is this girl who turns into a mythical creature like me. A girl who lost her family like us. A girl who seen pain but still smiles at me, as I do to her. A loyal girl that won't ever leave if we ever fell in love. If we ever kissed again…"
"She'll kiss you again...and then she'll remember, because she's strong enough to remember, Seb. God, you're such a sap, just go kiss her once more-"
"No! I don't want her to remember," he cut me off, "I want her to stay blissfully unaware…just for a little longer. You've seen what it did to Jefferson…I don't want her to have to live like that or us, I want her to be happy in her normal life just a little longer."
"Just go talk to her though…say hello, Seb. Make her smile."
-/Tea Shop/-
I was back in my phoenix form, feathers upon feathers piercing out of me, hot flames at every tip, and air flying through my every pore, free to roam the worlds below. But I wasn't happy, no, I was in pain, another piercing stab jolted through my heart and I began to crash in the air, not able to hold my body afloat. It hurt, it hurt so much as another pierce began to break my fragile heart.
So much pain, so much pain, so much pain...
And not just emotionally, not just physically, no, that would be too easy. But mentally, to realize your…your soul mate, just to have them shun, and dis, and tear you up with cruel words on a jagged knife-it hurt. It hurt so much and then being forced to leave, being ripped away from them without even a single thought. It hurt so much and I just knew that if I ever tried to come back he would hurt me...he would throw his knives at me and be done with it.
At least then I wouldn't have to feel this heartbreak.
Another piece of my heart tearing away, just a little bit and I began to fall out of the sky completely, letting the pain wash over me, and continued my way down like a comet into the snowy land below. I crashed, badly, and I could not get up again.
Hours turned to days and I still would not stand up…until soft hands soothed over the aching flames of my feathers. "Red, what is it?" a man's voice asked.
"Kendra?" a familiar voice asked, bringing me back to reality. My closed eyes began to open but I closed them again.
"Let me die Red…let me die," I muttered, a soft wail escaping my lips. Red pried my eyes open, soothing my burning body with her cool hands some more.
"Kendra, Kendra, don't die! Kendra, what happened? What happened to that boy? Kendra? Kendra, tell me what happened," Red was begging now, holding my drowsy face in her hands. A blonde man above held his sword in his hands with a wary expression on his face.
"He didn't…he didn't love me back," I whispered pitifully before she wrapped her arms around me tightly, cocooning me into her arms.
"Shhhh…it's going to be okay…we're going to go find Snow. This is Charming…they're…they're in-"
"Love," I whispered, a hot tear of gold slipping out of my beady golden eyes. "They're in love." I didn't expect it, but my flesh began to strengthen in heat...a new surge of feeling welling up in my veins: determination. It was a hard slap from reality. Laying here, begging to die wouldn't help me, wouldn't help anyone. But helping Snow…
The snow around us began to heat up.
-/Tea Shop/-
Seb talked to her, he did, right after she got back to the Diner and reclaimed her job. Then my older brother, apparently, went up to her, introduced himself, and asked if she would like to go for a walk in the woods. She was confused of course but then he explained about how he heard that she was a great tracker and he wanted to get a sense of the forest around town. She smiled and blushed, surprised he wasn't hitting on her.
They were to go on their 'date' later today.
And I needed to go check on Snow because she never did come by the shop...and this whole Kathryn Nolan thing was getting confusing. I needed to understand what was going on in my friends' lives. And then Jefferson called, asking me to come over in a day or two, wanting to talk to me finally.
The doorbell rang open and I looked up from the spot on the counter that I was scrubbing to find Regina entering. She had a serious expression on her face and I just knew we were going to have an unwanted conversation. "Hello, there! I'm Mayor Regina Mills," Regina smiled sharply, unaware of who's shop she just walked into. "I would just like to greet you to our little town, sorry it took so long for me to come and introduce myself. The whole Nolan case has been so hectic!"
"Yeah, what was happening with that? I'm trying to get into contact with Mary Margaret but I haven't been able to get through to her."
"Well, she won't be available for a while but if you would like to know more, you could always the Sheriff's office, they're roommates," she recommended with a smile that was…off. "But enough about them, what is your name?"
"Kendra," I bit out before a mocking smile bloomed across my face after seeing her face drain of color. I guess she did remember.
"Oh…oh, well I-" Regina turned to leave.
"You don't have to go, Regina." She stopped. "I have no qualms with you today. I won't ever forget what you did, but I would like my mayor to become acclimated to the newcomers, tea?" I offered.
Regina looked surprised, extremely, which was in fact not a surprise. But it also wasn't a surprise that this is how I would react. Phoenix's have lived long enough to know that she regretted what she did, when she realized what she had done. She didn't know, not many did, but the other Phoenixes still held a grudge of sorts. We protect kin and even though I was not blood related, I was still one of them.
"Uh...a coffee would be nice," she replied, sitting uncomfortably on one of the high chairs. "So did you want to talk about-"
"No," I cut her off, "I don't want to talk about it."
"What about him-"
"I said no, Regina, I will not discuss what you discovered about me when I was under your control."
"And why not?" I handed her the cup of steaming coffee.
"Because, you know my name. You know how I came to be. You knew how I felt about him. You knew what I've been through and that is a cruel fate. The only other person even close to that has the rest of my heart and I will not tolerate you speaking about any of it. I will allow the Phoenixes to do whatever they please with you if you don't stop."
"You mean to tell me that you've been protecting me?"
"You'd be surprised how many people I protect, you're just lucky that Seb wasn't here."
"The other one is here?" Regina looked around the empty shop. "Why is that so bad?"
"He really wants to tear out your throat and strip your core of magic."
"Does he now?" she asked, taking another sip, interested in what Seb wanted with her.
"Oh yes, he's extremely protective."
-/Tea Shop/-
"Red, look out!" Charming exclaimed and my eyes barely registered the flaming arrow heading towards us before I controlled the flames with my wings. Horses sounded in the distance, "We need to move, they found us." Red picked me up in her arms, rushing me to the horse Charming was already on. He held out a hand for Red but she just passed me over.
"Go, I'll take care of them. Protect Kendra."
"Red, I'm not leaving you!" the prince refused.
"Find Snow. That's all that matters. Find her!"
"What are you gonna do?" She looked up at the full moon, then at me. My eyes softened and a tear of fire escaped from me.
"I'm giving you a head start," was all she said before shucking her red cloak. Charming seemed to catch on that something was about to happen so he made the horses gallop. A howl was heard in the distance.
-/Tea Shop/-
I met Henry outside of Emma's and Mary Margaret's apartment, which I got directions from Red. It was the first time I met Henry since my arrival which was surprising and disappointing because he was curious about everyone but hadn't been curious about us? And then Seb told me Henry stopped by while I was out but that still made me sad. I just wanted to be his friend!
"Henry!" I exclaimed excitedly.
"Oh, Miss Jones, hello," he replied and I made a face.
"Please, I'm not that old Henry," well, actually, I was much older than that, "call me Kendra, please, I'm like only a few years older than you." More like a few thousand years older than you.
"Oh, okay, how do you know Emma?"
"I bribed her."
"For what?" he asked incredulously.
"To get you to come to the shop, August told me just how curious you are, and I am too. I also heard that if I wanted any quality friends, it's someone who likes hot chocolate."
"And I fit the bill?"
"Exactly," I replied, messing up his hair before following him in.
"Henry, Kendra, what are you doing here? Why aren't you in school?"
"We have to help Miss Blanchard," Henry told Emma.
I was confused. "What happened to Sno-Mary Margaret?"
Emma looked down at Henry. "I am helping her. That's why I'm searching the apartment. But you gotta go home, Henry, and you need to get back to your shop, Kendra."
I shrugged. "Seb's watching over the shop."
"Not gonna happen," Henry added before smiling at her. We looked at each other for a few moments.
That was until Emma conceded with, "Just stay out of the way."
"So what are we looking for?"
"And what happened?" I asked.
"I'm trying to see if maybe someone broke in," Emma replied, walking around the apartment, "Looking for busted door jams, broken glass, muddy boot prints-that kind of thing."
"So you think someone's setting her up," Henry understood-I did not.
"FOR WHAT?"
"For the murder of Miss Nolan," he murmured. When did she die? WHY DO THEY THINK IT WAS SNOW?
"It's the only thing that makes sense," Emma replied to Henry's earlier conclusion after checking the windows in the Mary's room. "The only problem is nobody's got a motive."
"My mom does."
"Regina?"
"Oh, yeah, I can see it," I agreed, finally understanding her strange smile.
"She hates Snow White," he explained and I looked at Henry in shock,
"You know about the fairytale characters!" I exclaimed, looking at him in awe. No wonder he had the heart of the Truest Believer, in this world, it was pretty easy to not believe. Henry gave me a look that said 'We're going to talk about this later.' Emma gave Henry a strange look.
"Hey, you wanted a motive," he shrugged.
"Well I don't think 'she hates Snow White' will hold up in a court, Henry," ever the party pooper, Miss Swan. Henry turned away to look at Snow's room and Emma sat on the bed, I traced one of her books. Then we began to hear a loud banging from the ventilation which caused us to look at each other then back to it. Emma got off the bed and took the screen off the floor, peering inside before grabbing whatever was within, pulling it out.
"Did you find something?" Henry asked. Emma did, I realized as she presented the clothed object. She pulled off the cloth and there appeared a long knife.
"I'm assuming that's the murder weapon," I said; Emma looked at me. Henry's face fell.
-/Tea Shop/-
I took Henry back to the tea shop, setting him down in one of the chairs and making him the best hot chocolate of all time. When I gave it to him, he was still frowning and August came in, "I don't think that hot chocolate's going to drink itself," the wooden man announced before sitting across from Henry. I nodded along before sitting in the seat next to them. "You're upset about your teacher, aren't you?" I gave August a look.
"She didn't do it. Why can't anyone see that?"
"I can," I told him, placing a hand on his arm.
"Because most people just see what's right in front of them," August answered, "And I don't think you're going to find the answers you want at the bottom of that mug." Leave it to August to somehow bring up alcoholism into the conversation.
"Then where?" Henry wondered aloud before taking a sip.
"That a book in your bag? You know I'm a writer-"
"-as am I-"
"-so I'm partial to finding my answers in the literary form."
"It's just a book," he dismissed sadly and a piece of my soul broke.
"Is it?" I asked.
"Yeah."
"I think we all know that that's not the case," August announced and I smiled at him. "Can I get a tea please, Kendra?"
"One green tea coming up," I told him before moving to the kitchen; I could still hear them from the room away.
"What do you two know about it?"
"I know it's a book of stories." I came back out, leaning against the kitchen's door frame, watching them and waiting for the tea to warm.
"Aren't all books?"
"But these stories...well they really happened," I told the young boy.
"You think my book is real?" Henry whispered. I came up to him, leaning in real close.
"As real as I am," August replied.
"How do you know?"
"Let's just say that we're, uh, we're believers. And I want to help others see the light," and way to make it sound like we're a cult August, "That, my friend, is why I'm here."
"Plus, trust me, it's real," I added.
"But I already believe it and trust you."
"Oh, I'm not here for you, buddy. I'm here for Emma," August replied and I went back to get his tea. I began to put in all the things August liked in his tea.
"So, you want to get her to believe? Why don't you just tell her?" the little one badgered.
"Well, there are some people-like you, Kendra, and me-we can go on faith. But others, like Emma, they need proof."
"Last time I tried to find proof, I got trapped in a sinkhole." I almost dropped the red tea cup, my heart stopping for a moment.
"There are less dangerous places to look," the older man confided, leaning over to point out the book. I handed August the cup, knowing he would just pay me back later for it, and he left, Henry already getting out the book to read. A smile graced the boy's lips.
"I wonder who you two are," he murmured quietly.
"I wonder if you'll ever figure it out," I replied.
-/Tea Shop/-
Prince Charming and I were riding for hours and light began to shine through the trees. We were silent, until, "So how do you know Snow and Red?"
"I saved them once, a long time ago when I was just passing through, I helped them out of a tight spot. It could have been months here but it was years upon years ago for me. At least a lifetime ago."
"And you're a...and you're a Phoenix? I think I've heard of your kind before."
"I'm not surprised, catching one is a rare occurrence. But yeah, I'm something like a Phoenix." A few more moments of silence passed and I could feel the itch of his curiosity.
"Who were you talking about, Kendra? Back there, with Red, why you crashed. You said-"
"He didn't love me."
"Snow said she didn't love me as well but she lied to protect me, maybe he…maybe he was doing the same, maybe he really does lo-"
"Charming, stop," I sat up from his lap, straightening my back, and looking ahead with a steely gaze. Fire pulsed across my body in veins. "He couldn't have loved me. It was all…it was all just an illusion and I don't want to dwell on it until we're safe. Until you have Snow and then I can sort it out myself." He didn't reply so instead he stopped the horse, jumping down to look at the tracks in the snow. He found a boot print so he pulled out his sword and we followed the tracks to find a bare backed man a few paces ahead.
"Put your hands where I can see 'em." The man awkwardly turned around to reveal that only his helmet covered his skin. Charming was repulsed, "Uh…on second thought, don't." Charming threw the naked man a cloth and he promptly wrapped it around himself, "Who did this?"
"She's crazy. She had a pickaxe. She threatened to skin me!"
"The Evil Queen?" the prince asked.
"No. Snow White." My eyes must have burned and so would have Charming's, we both stormed over and my talons dug harshly into his shoulder.
"What?" I hissed darkly in his ear. Charming put his sword to the man's throat.
"She said she wanted to kill the queen. I've never seen someone so blood thirsty."
"No," Charming denied, "Snow is not bloodthirsty. She is not a killer. I know her."
"Maybe you don't," the man replied and Charming looked crushed.
-/Tea Shop/-
We eventually found Rumpelstiltskin's palace and I was not in any way or form excited to enter inside. Rumpelstiltskin was the son of Peter. Peter the boy I still loved. The boy who left a nasty gash across my heart. I wanted a bit of the same vial Snow had to help forget.
But Charming somehow convinced me to enter, "Rumplestiltskin! Show yourself."
"Still dressing like a prince, I see," I looked at Charming with hints of confusion, "Even though you ran away from the life I gave you. How's that for gratitude?"
"You gave me a prison sentence."
"Yeah, one that you've now skirted. Careful, dearie. King George is a vengeful man."
"We're here about Snow."
"And who's this?" Pan's son questioned, his eyes piercing. His skin glittered grotesquely but I could see the grin of Peter from anywhere.
"None of your business Rumple so don't even try," I threw at him, looking at David for his help to steer the conversation away. Luckily he understood my look.
"Rumor has it she's after the queen and she came to you for help."
"Yes, indeed." Charming slung out his blade so fast both Rumple and I jumped back, "What did you do!" he demanded.
"What did I do to her? You mean what did you do to her," like father like son, they had a way with words. "You caused her pain. Without that pain, she would never have drank my potion to forget about you. That's what changed her." Rumple made his way around the table and his chest now touched the blade.
"Undo the potion. All magic can be broken."
"Oh, yes, with twoo wuv." A stab pierced my heart at the very phrase. The stitches that barely held my pain in were splintering, snapping, and tearing apart.
"So that's it then? True love's kiss will awaken her."
"Most certainly. But it's gonna be hard to kiss her when you don't know where she is," and with that he jerked the sword away from his chest and I curled my talons into a fist, waiting to throw fire at the man, the one that walked away from Charming.
"Name your price."
"How about...your cloak," he turned around.
"My cloak? Why would you want my cloak?"
"It's drafty in here," came the smart ass reply. Charming debated it for a moment before ripping of his cloak and placing it on the table.
"Where is she."
"On her way to the Queen's highway," he explained before a piece of parchment appeared, "This is the route she's taking. But you better be quick, because if she kills the queen, she becomes as evil as the woman whose life she takes."
"She could never become that evil," the prince persisted before turning away to walk out. I turned to follow.
"Evil isn't born, dearie. It's made. If Snow starts down that road, you'll never get her back!" I moved to follow Charming out but Rumple closed the door before I could reach it. I turned back to the man with fire clearly singeing the floor at my annoyance.
"What!" I hissed darkly.
"You haven't paid the price dearie, you are also apart of this deal," the wizard answered and Charming's banging could be heard from outside. I sighed before looking up at the man closely.
"What do you want, Rumpelstiltskin?"
"A feather," he replied and I smirked on the inside. Phoenix feathers, if ever caught always burnt into ash no matter what magic tries to keep it after a few moments of leaving the body. I easily plucked a feather from my wing and presented it to the wizard, allowing the flames to lick at his fingers.
"Enjoy," I muttered before I turned around flashily, spreading out my feathers, and proceeded to fly out of the door, which opened to my own magic.
-/Tea Shop/-
We found Snow a while later and she was testing her bow. I could feel the hole gaping in her heart and Charming grabbed her by the face, covering her mouth and pushing her body into his.
She struggled fiercely, "Get your hands off me!"
"Snow!" we both shouted at her. And I perched myself on a branch.
"Who are you? What are you doing?!"
"I'm helping you remember," he replied before lunging for a kiss and I covered my face with my wings, groaning at how stupid Charming was. When he pulled back Charming added, "I told you, I will always find you."
Snow looked surprised for all of five seconds before throwing a punch and knocking him out. She looked at him with cold eyes and I swooped down to Charming right after she left, knowing I wouldn't be able to help her. When she came back, I swooped down to claw at her arm angrily. "Kendra?!" Snow asked with pure surprised written on her face, "What are you doing here?"
"What am I doing here? What are you doing here?"
"The Queen, I'm here to kill the-"
"Yes I know and do you know what I'm doing here? To stop you," I told her. Snow began to wrap Charming's arms to the tree. Tying it securely.
"You wouldn't understand Kendra."
"I wouldn't understand? I wouldn't understand what? Having a gaping hole in your heart? A void that you just can't fill so you turn to something else-I've been there!"
"No you haven't, you have that boy Peter. Go back to him! Let me live my life."
"I can't Snow. I can't go back to him. But before him-before all of that, before I met you or him or anyone-it hurt a lot. It hurt so much, do you remember what I told you about me being a Phoenix?" It took her a moment to remember.
"You told me you weren't like the others, that you were different."
"Do you know why I say that?" She shook her head and I could distinctly see my own feathers turning into embers, "Because I'm not like them. I wasn't born a phoenix, Snow, I was made into one. I was forced into this body and the first time…when I changed I…Snow, I did something awful. Everyone close to me was burned. And after that…I couldn't live with myself. I tried to fill that void and I did. I did by escaping and being with Peter. But I can't do either of those and look at me. If you knew what I looked like when I crashed here, you wouldn't understand. My species shuns me, I have no family, and one of my closest friends is turning into a monster, Snow. Don't do this, don't become something that you can't come back from."
"I would, but frankly, I really don't care. The Queen is the root of all my problems and when she's gone, I'll finally be free," she said matter of factly. And with each word she spoke in that tone, my fire began to cease. My sight began to blur with each pronunciation until…until black consumed me.
-/Tea Shop/-
Charming, who I later discovered was James, woke me up what felt like hours later. And we ran. Well, he ran; I flew. But I was stumbling, crashing into trees. When we got near Snow's location, I turned to James and yelled, "You get Snow, I'll distract the Queen!"
"What!? No! You'll get hurt or captured or worse!"
"Save Snow White, help her remember, tell her that sometimes sacrifice is the best void to fill!"
"What does that even mean?!"
"Find her, Charming, I'll see you one day!" I shouted before flying ahead, faster than before. But I was burning up more energy, weakening my body, but if I could help my friends, do something good...then it would be okay. I'd be okay even if for just a moment.
I didn't know it, but Charming stopped Snow at the exact moment, but my distraction would have been after the saving, further up the road and no help would be coming for me.
I crashed into another tree branch.
My feathers began to fall off my wings. Fire dropped like rain to the snowy ground.
And I crashed to the ground, right at the Queen's feet.
I burnt too much energy. The snow weakened the already running out fire.
She could have easily captured me and I wouldn't have been able to escape. On a dark and snowy day filled with pain, friendship, and sacrifice, I was captured by Queen Regina, in a magical cage that was poisonous to my human counterpart. I wouldn't have been able to escape. And I didn't even try as one last breath escaped my lips.
-/Tea Shop/-
"Hey, Kendra?"
"Yes Hatter?"
"Come over to my house tomorrow night for dinner so we can chat."
"Okay, see you then."
"Oh, and make sure you bring some tea."
"Will do Jefferson."
"Bye, Kendra."
"Bye, Jefferson."