Rachel refuses to act any different, so she begins her first Finnless morning with the same vegan smoothie and workout as any other morning. She hardly slept at all last night, but no one needs to know that, so she covers the circles under her eyes with makeup and brightens her uncharacteristically dull cheeks with blush.
When she closes her locker she finds herself face-to-face with Kurt, of all people.
"Rachel," he says.
"Good morning to you, too, Kurt."
"Hey. The bitchy queen role is reserved for me, thank you very much."
She rolls her eyes as she lifts her French book to her chest.
"You would take two languages at once."
"Was there a purpose to this, Kurt?"
"Well...yes. Mercedes told me I should thank you for what you did for my father, and I actually agreed, because you didn't do what I thought you would."
"Which was?"
"Just donating a big old check yourself and taking the spotlight. But...you actually gave other people a chance to participate with that list of yours. So. Thanks."
"You're welcome."
"And...hard as it is to believe, I actually am sorry about you and Finn."
Pain twists through her stomach at that, and her lip quivers despite herself.
"Oh my God. Come here."
"Kurt, you have been nothing but antagonistic towards-"
"I don't give a damn, darling. YOU need a hug."
She acquiesces and lets him hold her. Friends can appear in the unlikeliest places.
Puck sees her standing in the midst of the cafeteria, terrified, diet soda and paper sack both clutches in her hands.
He looks around. Mercedes sits with the Cheerios, Kurt is probably getting a facial or something, Mike and Tina are firmly ensconced, and Finn is, obviously, not waiting for her at the usual stop, but sitting a little farther down the jocks' table with Artie, where Puck is also residing.
Well, fuck. He can't just leave her hanging there. If Finn has a problem with it, he'll just have to put on his big boy pants and get over it.
He considers his tray for a moment: already half-scarfed mac n' cheese and a Rockstar energy drink. The food is crap anyway, so he tosses it, picks up his drink, and says, "Later."
"Where you going, man?" asks Karofsky, crushing his soda can.
"Out."
And with that he saunters down the cafeteria to where Rachel Berry is still standing, biting her lip and slowly backing up from the cafeteria.
"You're late," he says loudly, "And you must be blind or something, I was right over there."
The cafeteria lowers from an almost-roar to a low murmur. Her head swivels around. He lowers his chin and raises his eyebrows, praying she'll play along for her own sake. Apparently her various musicals and plays have paid off, because she smiles and says, "Oh, I know, right? Well, let's go already."
"You read my mind."
"So, I assume you know," she says once they've reached their final destination of the park.
It's a bit chilly out, orange and red leaves creating a heavy scent in the air. The pond nearby it covered in happily floating ducks, and the only other person in the park is an old woman on a bench, pretty far away from them. Rachel is sitting at the picnic table with Puck's spare rain jacket protecting her from the dampness. Puck uses his letterman jacket for the same purpose.
Puck frowns at her hands, which are picking at some sort of monstrosity which she called a "tofurkey sandwich" but not actually eating it.
"You should eat. I know you're upset, but...you know. It'd be a pain and a half if you passed out."
"I don't have an appetite. I even tried eating chocolate ice cream last night, soy of course, like girls are supposed to do after a break-up, and I couldn't really taste it. It tasted like a cold lump."
"You sure that's not because it's made of friggin' beans?"
"I usually like it. You're not asking me what happened."
"I'm not. And you should EAT."
"Why aren't you asking me?"
He takes a deep breath and leans over the table, folding his hands.
"I figured if you wanted to talk about it, you would've already. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."
She lets her chin fall in her hand. Strands of her dark hair whip around in the breeze.
"I don't know if I want to."
"You don't HAVE to."
"Do YOU not want me to talk about it?"
"What. No."
"Really."
"Well...no."
"If you're so scared of talking to an emotional girl, why did you even come to my rescue? Pity? You could've dropped me off here to sulk alone if you didn't actually...care."
He knows he's not supposed to care. It's just Rachel Berry, right? She's unstoppable and headstrong and annoying as hell and what has she ever done for him? Besides, you know. Being his friend through childhood, cleaning him off after he got slushied, talking to him about Beth, telling him was worthwhile, embarassing him in that freaking video, and arguing with everything he says.
So. A lot, actually.
"Well?"
"Yeah, I'd rather you didn't," he says, chuckling a little.
"Why?"
"Because I'm afraid if I know exactly what went down, I may have to punch his face."
"It probably wasn't even that big of a deal..."
"If the duet couple broke up, it's probably a very big deal."
"He slept with Santana, before we went out, but-"
"I know," Puck says, taking a swig of his energy drink.
"You KNEW? And you didn't TELL me?"
"I figured he'd tell you. So was this just an omission thing, or-"
"No, I asked him twice. And he lied to my face. Twice. Did he tell you?"
"No, Tana did. Said he called out Quinn's name. Kind of ruined it for her."
"Ew. Well, that makes sense, actually."
"How so?"
"Well, he told Quinn he- has feelings for her. And then when I asked him about that, he lied again. So..."
"See, this is why I didn't want you to tell me. He basically fucking led you on. One of the worst things you can do, in my book."
"And how," she asked indignantly, crossing her arms over her chest, "does leaving girls right after you sleep with them rank in your book?"
"First off," he says with a smirk, "there's never any sleeping going on."
This earns him an eye-roll.
"Second off, it's not one of the worst things, because I never lie to any of those girls. I never tell them I love them, or that they're the only one I 'sleep with', or that they're the only I ever have slept with. I make it very clear that I'm not looking for a relationship and that that's not going to change just because we have sex. Some of them agree to it, some of them don't. A lot of them agree to it."
A phone trills. Rachel rummages through her purse.
"My alarm. We should leave now if we want to get to school on time."
"You set a freaking alarm?"
"Well, seven tardies leads to one unexcused absence, and on my transcript that would-"
"Yeah, except that you've never had ANY-"
"-reflect poorly, and I want to get into Julliard, so-"
"-tardies at ALL because you're so perfect it's IRRITATING."
They glare at each other for a moment, and then something unexpected happens. She laughs.
"You're impossible."
"You're MORE impossible."
He takes his car keys out of his pocket.
"Let's go, then, Miss Julliard. Don't think I could live with myself if you got wait-listed because of me."