-the NEW GUY'S POV.-

Holy fashizzle manizzle dafizzle moshiffle!

There are no girls in this camp! I am going to be raped and killed and buried in one of those revolting holes!

I felt like crying. But of course I couldn't because my eyes were too messed up and full of dust, and blinded by extreme light to do anything right now.

I walked those fifteen steps ALONE to an unsightly structure with a sign saying: 'D-Tent.'

I opened the flap to be welcomed by shocked faces of…what else but…boys. My body froze into stone and all I was expecting was a thunderbolt to befall upon my skull and kill me…

There was a suspicious-looking tall boy with blond hair that might as well have electrical currents running through it… He was known by his tribe as ZigZag.

I felt a tap on my shoulder, and turned around, only for my face to be inches apart with some boy with caterpillar eyebrows and a toothpick in his mouth.

"Hey... hey new guy... I gotta ask you a question."

"Does it have anything to do with cars?"

"No?"

"Does it, in any way, refer to a moving vehicle?"

"No."

"You may ask."

"Is it true?" asked the toothpick boy, looking into my eyes with disbelief.

"Is what true?"

He looked uncomfortable... "That... you know... you don't have a penis."

I coughed and choked on my own tongue.

"NO I DON'T HAVE A PENIS." I said, trying very hard to stay calm and collected.

The boy snickered.

"So what happened? It fell off?"

The boys laughed harder.

Squid snickered louder, and I could tell some of the boys were listening, though they tried hard to look like they were doing something productive, like picking lint from their belly buttons.

"So, like, you're a chick?"

"Just a chick, no dick."

Squid laughed again, even more stupidly. "Hey, dude, that rhymes! Haw haw haw!"

I walked over to my vomit-infested cot, and covered my face with the pillow.

Right after that my eyes just drifted into sandy-land.

How did I end up here? I scanned my surroundings…

It was all desert.

Alone.

I have to get back to camp!

I turned around and around but there was no camp to be seen. I was lost.

"Helooooooooooooo!" I shouted.

A tumbleweed passed by.

I felt scared, alone.

Suddenly I saw something in the distance. At first, it was just a moving cloud of dust. As it neared, I realized it was a herd of horses!

"Yeeehaw!" came a voice from one of the horses.

I recognized them.

It was Kissing Kate Barlowe, my great great grandmother and her gang. They were running away from the town deputies.

Suddenly her face displayed a look of surprise as she spotted me standing in the middle of the desert. She extended her arm from the horse and reached out to grab me.

While the horse was moving, I was pulled onto it, which I thought was pretty cool.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF GREENLAKE DESERT?" she fired. "I thought I made sure you were\safe... safe from them."?

Them?

"I don't know... I'm—"

But she didn't let me finish: "I have to show you something…" she said

Suddenly Kissin' Kate's gang was gone and we were alone. And then countless o f 5-foot holes opened on the ground before me. One had a big rock next to it. That's where she stopped the horse.

The rock looked like Mr. Sir if you squinted and tilted your head.

We both got off.

She took a shovel from out of nowhere and handed it to me.

"Dig." She ordered, her voice firm and monotone.

"But I don't-"

"DIG!"

I jumped into the hole with the rock next to it and did as she ordered. I felt as if I had been dogging forever, yet I didn't feel tired.

Suddenly my shovel hit something hard, and hollow. I dug some more and unearthed a medium-sized wooden chest. There were faded letters on itengraved with the words; "STANLEY YELNATS."

I turned to my great great grandmother. "Is this what you wanted me to find?"

She nodded, but then, again, she said:

"Dig."

"But I found the-"

"DIG!" she commanded.

"You don't have to be so bossy…God!"

I went on digging. And I decided to break into song:

"I'VE BEEN WORKIN' ON THE RAAAAIIILROAD-"

"No singing!"

Again, my shovel hit something hard and hollow.

I eagerly turned to the ghost-with-the-cowboy-hat and pointed out:

"Look!" I screamed with glee, "Look! I found it! Whatever it is!"

Kissin' Kate just stood there next to her horse, not saying a world.

Suddenly a loud, hollow noise made me sit up suddenly.

Dr. Pendanski was in the tent, banging what looked like a kitchen pan with a wooden spoon.

The trumpet was broken and he used the pan to improvise.

"Rise and Shine!" he repeated, " New Day, New Hole."

Groans, murmuring and swearing wafted their ways from under everyone else's covers.

I was dreaming.

I opened my inactive, groggy eyes to see that it was still dark outside.

It was 4:30 A.M.

Then I felt myself drift to sleep again.

The next thing I heard was;

"You wake her up." said a voice

"YOU wake her up." said another.

"Awww! Oh look! She's drooling!"

The boys all squealed lighly and described the utter cuteness of my drool.

"Maybe we should check and pull her face to make sure its not a mask or somethin'... You know, in case she really IS a spy." ZigZag said shakily.

That's it, I'm moving!

I abruptly shot up.

"What time is it?" I panicked.

"Better get ready, lil' girl." Squid said loudly.

"First hole's the hardest"

Hole? WHAT?

"You'll see" Armpit nodded, as if reading my thoughts.