Twice is Coincidence
Ch 4
By: JackHawksmoor
Kirk reacted immediately, his heart sinking shockingly fast. He'd thought he still had some credit in the bank with Starfleet from the Nero thing. He'd really thought he could get away with this little side trip to Beta Antares IV without getting himself into trouble. It didn't look like that was the case...Starfleet had to be gunning for his head for Spock to look that pissed.
Someone must have been spectacularly insulting...probably Admiral Komak.
He straightened away from the elder Spock, glancing to one side and blinking hard, shoving the warmer, trickier emotions of the moment away. When he looked up and stepped forward, smooth and calm and captain of the Enterprise, he was met with a slightly surreal sight.
Both Spocks were looking at him with sharp regret on their faces. It was the same expression, aimed at him from two different angles, like a cracked mirror. Spooky. He didn't know for certain the reason for either look, but he was pretty sure they weren't wearing the expression for the same reason.
Kirk stepped up toward his first officer, his brain running wildly ahead of him.
Jesus, did they take the ship from me?
"Mr. Spock, report," he said, as if not bothered at all.
Spock slipped his hands behind his back, his face going carefully blank. "Admiral Pike is waiting to speak with you, sir," he replied calmly, as if he hadn't been standing there a minute ago looking like he wanted to kill someone with the pure power of his pissed-offedness.
Kirk blinked. "Admiral Pike?" They wouldn't have had Pike call him if he was screwed. They would have Pike call him if they wanted to influence him, or keep him in check. It was a holding move, not a checkmate, so what the hell was up with Spock? It wasn't like Pike to be insulting.
Then, his Spock glanced over at the older Spock. Just a quick, brief glance, that communicated quite elegantly something very, very obvious that Kirk had missed.
Kirk stared off in the distance for a moment, and let out a slight breath of laughter. His ribs protested, and he stopped quickly. Spock, his Spock, gave him a questioning look.
"I had to order you to sickbay," he said to his first officer. Spock looked at him like he'd just grown a second head.
"Sir?"
The older Spock, he couldn't help but notice, looked slightly guilty. Kirk turned to him.
"You lied to me," he said with disbelief. The older Spock's eyebrows went up.
"I may have-" the older Spock began to bullshit, not even bothering to waste time asking Kirk what he had supposedly lied about.
"Big fat liar," Kirk interrupted.
The older Spock gave him a look that was vaguely pitying. The 'look the poor human just dribbled on himself' expression. Kirk gave him a wicked, uncaring grin. He shot an accusing glance over his first officer's way.
"And you," he continued. "why didn't you say anything?"
"I..." Spock began, looking concerned about Kirk's sanity, "...am not certain..."
"Spock," Kirk said patiently, "If there is one quality that you have, that any version of you has, it's curiosity. If you had no other information at all, you knew I was acting like he-" he pointed at the elder Spock, "mattered to me. You never asked me why. You didn't come down to sickbay to try and figure him out. Which means you already knew who he was, and why I was willing to risk my life over him."
Kirk gave him a hard look. "I was still trying to keep you from realizing who he was, but you already knew. Why didn't you tell me?"
Spock raised an eyebrow. "You did not ask."
Very slightly, the elder Spock winced.
Kirk stared at his first officer for a moment, his mouth twisting in annoyance. He wished, abruptly, that Bones was there, so the doctor could call him a cold-hearted son of a bitch.
"I see," he said coolly, because Bones wasn't there. The elder Spock was looking at his younger self in a way Kirk couldn't quite catch. Some brief, silent communication...did the elder Spock shake his head, just a little? Kirk couldn't tell.
He glanced at the elder Spock, as if to ask him 'and you'?
"Jim," the elder Spock began gently, the soft tone of his voice making his first officer snap his head up and stare, "It was imperative that you become captain of the Enterprise. Had I further involved myself, that would not have occurred."
Kirk's mouth twitched. "Tell me, did you get to be this devious by watching me, or all on your own?"he asked.
The elder Spock tilted his head. "I have always been open to learning new things," he replied demurely. Kirk laughed lightly, careful of his ribs.
"I'll keep that in mind," he replied, then turned to his first officer, who was staring intently at his older counterpart, as if taking notes. "Mr. Spock, I believe we are keeping the Admiral waiting." He gestured Spock on ahead, and then followed him out, giving his older counterpart a warm look and a nod.
"I'll see you later," Kirk told him. The older Spock looked a hundred times better than he had when Kirk had first laid eyes on him. No matter what else had happened, Kirk would at least call that one a win.
His first officer, however, seemed to be much less happy about it. Kirk still was very curious about the baldfaced fury he'd seen on his Spock's face when Kirk had first looked up and seen him standing there in the alcove. Granted, Kirk had practically been holding the elder Spock in his arms at the time...
Hmm.
Kirk had a brief, bizarre thought, of Spock coming in the room like a girlfriend and catching Kirk making out with his brother. Pretty close to his brother. Pretty close to making out. It was a deeply weird thought, and Kirk eyed his first officer doubtfully as they walked down the hall.
He was totally expressionless. Something kind of stiff in the way he was walking. Spock was definitely acting pissy.
Kirk put it aside for the moment, heading toward his quarters instead of the bridge. Minor triumphs of the day aside, he was tired, and he was hurting, and sleeping with broken ribs promised to be a trying experience. Kirk just wanted to go somewhere he could actually stop hiding how lousy he felt. He didn't say anything, but Spock came along without comment, walking beside him the entire way as if he'd known immediately where Kirk would go.
Kirk settled down behind his desk without even a slight wince and flipped on his terminal. He got one look at Pike's face and realized he probably should have hurried.
"Sorry to keep you waiting, sir," he said immediately.
Pike, looking annoyed, folded his arms over his chest. "Oh please, go ahead, if I'm keeping you from something more important," he said, his voice heavy on the sarcasm.
Kirk winced slightly. Not a checkmate, he reminded himself.
He launched into his report, and soon found himself on the wrong side of some tough grilling. Yes, he knew the Enterprise was supposed to be picking up Federation diplomats. Yes, he understood how important it was to get them to the conference on time. No, he did not have an idiot for a communications officer.
"Sir," he said quickly, before Pike could go down a path he didn't like, "I am responsible for the actions of the crew under my command. If there is going to be any fallback from this, I expect it to come down on my head, no one else's."
He felt Spock move slightly, from where he stood at Kirk's back, and Pike glanced over Kirk's shoulder to stare at him briefly.
Pike turned his eyes back to Kirk, looking somewhat rueful. "I thought you might say something like that." Pike occasionally had a way of looking at Kirk like he was dissecting him from the inside out. He had apparently decided to get in some practice. Kirk had to fight not to squirm.
"Tell me something," Pike said, dropping formality and leaning forward towards the screen. "I keep asking myself..." he smiled slightly, "exactly what kind of monster did I make, when I decided to throw you two together?"
Pike knew. He knew damn well Kirk had bucked orders, and he knew who Kirk had done it for.
Kirk dropped the formality too, leaning forward in his chair carefully to avoid twinging his ribs. "It was bad, sir," Kirk said quietly.
Pike blinked, his face darkening slightly.
"You're sure-"
"They'd have used that beacon, if they'd known how bad it was," Kirk said. "I had a feeling...and I think you agree with me, that intuition is part of being a good captain."
"So is following orders," Pike replied, but he said it so mildly, it was hardly a rebuke. Kirk stared at him and said nothing.
Sometimes, he thought. He didn't really have to say it- Pike had been a starship captain too, not that long ago. Pike sighed and rubbed at his face.
"Because of your failure to arrive as scheduled, the Excalibur is being re-routed to pick up our diplomats. You'll be pulling her survey duty of the Talosian system. Six planets and a sun, if you think you can keep out of trouble long enough to get through them all," Pike said, his voice dry.
Kirk sat frozen for a moment. That was all? Not even a 'shame on you'? Just 'here's a crappy assignment instead of your previous awesome one'?
"I always try, sir," Kirk said smartly.
"Somehow I doubt that, Captain. Mr. Spock, I'm counting on you. The Enterprise needs to do good work and keep her head down for a while. See if you can't keep Captain Kirk from making more problems for himself."
Spock moved again, behind him.
"Sir," Spock said, "given the nature of starship duty, I am uncertain of my abilities to satisfy you on that account."
Pike snorted, shaking his head.
"One hell of a monster," he muttered to himself, but he was smiling when he said it, so Kirk smiled back. "You've got forty-eight hours to wrap things up with the Vulcans and move on to your next mission, Kirk."
"Thank you, sir," Kirk said, and meant it.
Pike smirked at him. "Just take care of that ship," he said, and switched off.
Kirk let out a large breath, and then wished he hadn't. He winced, hunching over a little.
"Captain?" Spock said sharply, from behind him. Kirk moved to wave him off, to insist he was fine, but twisted the wrong way and actually had to stop, breathing shallowly for a moment. Kirk gritted his teeth, knowing he was blowing it, and shoved himself to his feet dispute the pain.
He turned to face Spock. "I'm all right," he ground out, trying desperately for normality.
"I believe you are incorrect," Spock said, stepping close to take his arm, which Kirk had to admit he sort of needed at that point. He was sweating and couldn't quite catch his breath. Spock looked alarmed.
"Spock, its nothing-" Kirk choked off, because Spock reached down and put his hand firmly against Kirk's broken ribs. Kirk doubled over like he'd just taken a punch. Crafty Vulcan didn't miss much...
He heard Spock calling sickbay, and managed a groan in protest.
"Jim," his voice was strained. Spock was pulling at him, and suddenly Kirk was on his bed, and Spock was tugging at the hem of his uniform shirt, looking worried as hell for a Vulcan.
"Dammit, Spock," Kirk paused to breathe, swatting at his hand. "I'll be all right! You didn't need to-"
"If you will not take the most basic steps to care for yourself, then I must," Spock said sharply.
Kirk stopped, and really looked at him. He was so obviously concerned that Kirk started to feel like an ass. Kirk let out a shallow puff of air, and relented. He reached down and carefully lifted his shirt.
Spock sucked in a sharp breath.
"You are in need of medical attention," he said quietly, suddenly very tense.
Kirk shook his head tiredly. "I'm afraid it's just not that easy, Spock," he said.
Spock was very, very carefully running his hand over the bare, exceptionally bruised skin covering his broken ribs. Kirk knew he looked like somebody had taken a baseball bat to his side, and it didn't feel all that much different than if somebody had.
"I do not understand," Spock said, his hand pausing on its path over Kirk's skin, as if to gently warm the injured area with his fingers.
"Bones is busy, and I-"
The door whisked open, and Nurse Chapel hustled in.
"-Oh, for god's sake," Kirk finished, under his breath. He was going to find a baseball bat all right, and beat McCoy over his big fat head with it.
"The Captain is injured," Spock said to her sharply, "As I indicated to you earlier."
Kirk winced, and it wasn't because of his ribs.
"Spock," he said, displeased, and Spock subsided, stepping back so that Chapel could get close to him. She cast a quick, unhappy look at Spock before leaning close to him, running her scanner. Her face tightened in shock.
"Captain, how long-" she stopped, sputtering slightly. "This is hours old! You were, you were in sickbay, I was right there, and I-" She glanced again at Spock, and this time looked desperately guilty. "I'm sorry, sir, you're right, I should have-"
"Nurse Chapel," Kirk said firmly, cutting her off. "I was there too, and I don't remember saying anything to you about it. So stop with the guilt. I'm not an easy patient."
Chapel blinked several times rapidly. "Let me just get you something for the pain-"
"What's your first name?" he asked kindly. She paused, surprised.
"Christine," she replied.
Kirk smiled wearily. "Christine, you are going to want to check my files very carefully before you give me anything, unless you want to kill me accidentally."
Spock's eyebrows went up, and Christine frowned. She pulled out a pad, and started scrolling. Kirk waited with grim expectation, watching Chapel's face without surprise as she continued to page through his medical files, her face showing a growing disbelief.
After a few moments, she lowered the pad, defeated. Kirk gave her an apologetic look.
"I've never seen anything like it," Chapel said, wide eyed.
"Is there some problem?" Spock asked.
Chapel turned to him, looking nervous. "I can't do anything for him."
"I beg your pardon. Perhaps I am misunderstanding some form of humor," Spock said, sounding slightly dangerous.
"He's red flagged for everything. I can't even give him a basic opiate. Doctor McCoy needs to supervise anything I could give him that might help." Chapel paused. "I can use the bone knitter without painkillers but that would be excruciating-"
"I'll pass on that, thanks," Kirk said with half a smile. "I've actually had to do that before, and I'd rather not repeat the experience."
"I could...I could get you an aspirin, sir," Chapel said timidly.
Spock looked appalled. Kirk let out a careful breath of laughter.
"I've got some in the nightstand, thanks." He glanced up at his first officer, who looked as though Chapel had just threatened to stitch Kirk up with a thread and a needle. "It's all right, Spock, I'm allergic to everything. Bones can give me some of this stuff but he's got to monitor me the whole time, and mix in some perstatisone or epinephrine depending on how it goes."
Spock looked down briefly. "You were aware of this previously."
Kirk gave him a very mild look, and nodded. Spock slipped his hands behind his back, looking slightly sheepish, which was a hell of a thing to see, on a Vulcan.
"Doctor McCoy is currently in surgery," Spock began, glancing quickly at Chapel.
"The last eight hours," Chapel said, suddenly looking very tired. "And another eight to go, most likely."
Spock exchanged a glance with Kirk, and he saw that Spock understood now. Kirk wasn't about to drag Bones off a dying Vulcan to come babysit his ass just because he was uncomfortable and couldn't handle something as simple as codeine unless he was hooked up to seven different machines.
"Is the captain's life in any danger?" Spock asked quietly, studying the deck.
Chapel frowned. "Not...well, he could cause himself a serious injury, if he moved wrong he could-"
"I know how to move with broken ribs, nurse. I've been doing it all day," Kirk said smoothly, sensing that the tide had turned his way. More or less.
She chewed her lip briefly. She really was sweet- how she survived working with McCoy was a minor mystery of the universe.
"I wouldn't like him to be alone tonight, just in case he moves in his sleep," she said definitively. Kirk couldn't help but notice she was talking to Spock, not him. Spock nodded, and glanced at him. Kirk made an 'I give up' gesture with his hands, and Spock quietly indicated with his head that he and Chapel should continue the conversation by the door. Kirk smiled to himself. He'd rather be left on his own, but if his options were Spock and his quarters or Bones and Sickbay, Kirk was pleased as punch to be staying where he was.
His two nightingales talked quickly, Chapel giving Spock instructions, and Kirk had a moment to wonder with amusement how it was that no one asked or questioned exactly who would be staying with the captain, as if the answer was too obvious to mention. Then Chapel exited, leaving behind her medical scanner, and Spock came and stood in front of him, hands clasped behind his back.
"You did not wish to distract the Doctor from his work without good cause," Spock stated.
Kirk met his eyes, surprised at the gentle expression on Spock's face. "Pretty much," he replied.
Spock glanced down. "Earlier I suggested that you were reckless in regards to your own health. I see I was in error. Your logic was sound."
Kirk gave him a sympathetic once-over. Spock never handled it well when Kirk got himself hurt. He looked a bit subdued over the fact that there wasn't really anything he could do.
"It's all right Spock," he felt a smile start to creep over his face. "I find it's almost always beneficial to be underestimated."
Spock looked briefly disheartened, though that hadn't been Kirk's intention.
"My...counterpart...knows enough not to oblige you in that fashion," Spock said, and it wasn't a question.
Kirk's eyes went wide. Was he nuts or did Spock just pull a 'you-like-him-better-than-me'? Kirk opened his mouth, but didn't immediately speak.
Spock turned his head sharply aside, and Kirk could see his self-recrimination like Spock had just pulled it out of his pocket.
"My apologies," Spock said quickly. "I did not mean-"
Kirk reached over and caught him by the wrist, effectively silencing him.
"Yeah, you did," Kirk said bluntly. He took a close look at how quietly unhappy Spock seemed to be, and got the impression that he was fairly mortified with himself. It was sometimes difficult to tell with Spock; it had taken Kirk a little while to grasp the translation of body language. Small cues were the key-the way he was standing, the tension around his mouth. It was also easy to misunderstand. Kirk watched him now, and began to think-
Perhaps he'd misunderstood what was going on here.
He pushed himself carefully to his feet, and took a step inside Spock's personal space."Why don't you tell me what's on your mind, Spock?" Kirk asked gently.
"I merely was...unaware you and my future self had become," something in Spock's expression changed, but for the life of him Kirk couldn't tell what it meant, "close."
"Hard to share space in someone's head and not be close," Kirk replied with a slight smile that faded into surprise at Spock's strong reaction.
"You entered into a mind meld with Ambassador Spock?" Spock said, stiffening. His eyes raked over Kirk, as if checking for some hidden injury. "Are you certain?"
Kirk had no response to that. What did Spock expect him to say- 'oh, wait, now that I think about it, we didn't'? Spock was obviously expecting a response, though, so...
Kirk stepped closer.
"He touched me," he raised his right hand up toward Spock's face, "like this." Kirk did not actually touch him, but let his fingers hover.
Spock twitched slightly, catching his breath as Kirk's hand neared his face. Kirk watched his pupils dilate, wide and black.
Kirk tilted his head, angling himself a little closer without actually stepping forward.
"And I could see," he continued, his voice quieter, "everything he had seen. Everything he was. Just for a minute, we were one person. And I wasn't afraid." Kirk watched Spock's breathless reaction with sharp eyes. Spock leaned forward a little, just barely, and Kirk was startled by the sudden certainty that Spock wanted to press his face against Kirk's fingers. Throw them both into a meld just to see what happened.
Kirk dropped his hand and stepped back, feeling strangely shaken, as if he'd just done something amazingly reckless. Spock shut his eyes and looked, briefly, as if he was in danger of toppling over on the deck. Kirk stared at him, not sure if he was reading something into Spock's reactions that he shouldn't.
"You..." Spock began unsteadily, then cleared his throat slightly and continued. "You did not question the fact that I could remove Captain Pike's location from a Romulan's mind. You have suggested I make an attempt to mind-meld with another sentient being no less that five times during the past two years. The ability is not common knowledge. I should have questioned the source of your familiarity."
Kirk smiled faintly.
"Nobody's perfect," he said, and cut through the bullshit. "Your counterpart didn't pick up on the fact that I was injured, either, you know."
I don't like him better than you.
Spock looked doubtful, and Kirk gave him a don't-be-stupid look. "I wasn't kidding about being a lousy patient. Bones isn't always annoyed just for the hell of it."
Spock regarded him for a moment. Kirk could almost see the gears turning.
"Given the level of enjoyment the doctor seems to take in his own abrasiveness, I find that difficult to believe." He said, deadpan. Kirk had to look close to see the amusement in his eye.
Translation: I accept your reassurance.
Kirk opened his mouth, and left it open. He let out an amazed breath of laughter, and paid for it. He hunched over, wincing, and Spock made a quick, concerned motion in his direction.
Kirk held up a hand, and he stopped. Kirk looked up at him ruefully, getting his breath back.
His Spock did not smile at him. He did, however, look very pleased with himself in Kirk's direction. Another few years, maybe, and it might be a smile.
"Captain, I believe you should sit," Spock advised. Kirk was halfway there already, and sank back down onto the bed. He was suddenly, weirdly, thoroughly glad Spock was there. There was a lot of heaviness waiting in the room...all those Vulcans they hadn't saved. Kirk had set off the flooding that killed them with his own hands, and somehow, having Spock in the room made that thought a little easier to push aside.
"Thanks. For staying." Kirk said, not bothering to try and fight with getting his shirt off. If he didn't know better, he'd say from the reaction on Spock's face that Spock was pretty damn happy to be there. Kirk would have to remember this for the next time he got his ass handed to him. Spock tended to let logic slide a little when Kirk's safety was on the line. If all it took to make Spock feel better was to let him hover a little bit...well, then Kirk wouldn't mind sacrificing a little privacy.
"Wake me if Bones calls," Kirk gave Spock a hard look, "but don't call him."
Spock inclined his head, looking innocent and trustworthy. Kirk narrowed his eyes at Spock.
"Should you need urgent care, " Spock explained, "I will of course-"
"Fine," Kirk said, holding his hands up in surrender. Spock looked smug.
Kirk went to scoot back, and to his embarrassment, needed help. Spock was right there, though, so he was all right. Spock's hands were warm and when he leaned close Spock's pupils went wide, eating up the brown of his irises. Kirk did not think he had...ever...noticed that happen before today. With Spock. He supposed it could be something other than what it looked like. But Spock was staring at him with an expression that was hard to misunderstand, and for a moment Kirk thought he might...
If anyone had told Kirk he would be thinking this about Spock six months ago he would have laughed in their faces. Kirk thought about how warm his hands were, and wondered, for just a second, how it would feel to have Spock pressed up against him all over.
Probably pretty nice.
"Goodnight," he said quietly, tense. The energy of the sudden possibility hanging between them could have run the impulse engines for a week. Spock was close enough to blink in reaction when he exhaled. Kirk watched Spock swallow, hard.
He sat back. "Goodnight, sir," Spock replied, pulling his hands away from Kirk in a manner that seemed to suggest his hands were against the idea.
Whether he had intended to or not, in Kirk's estimation his first officer had just put an offer on the table. And Kirk had no idea what to do about it.
Author's Note: If somebody can spot the easter egg in this chapter, I'll write it.
Doroneko- I am beginning to be intimidated. It appears that you like everything that is awesome. You rule.
Natsuko37- Yes, you are right, this story does not contain any more slash than the original series does. If you are confused, I refer you to 'the backrub incident'.
Ravenclaw Samurai- Yes, Spock got left behind a little bit, but then SpockPrime has a lot of extra years of Kirk Knowledge under his belt that Spock doesn't. Spock does seem to be catching up nicely, though, doesn't he?