Chapter 4: Unfaithful Max

Both 99 and Theodor were surprised. 99 was more surprised not by Max himself, but by his manner of appearing. Maybe he was an unfaithful husband, but he still was the same old Max. Why not the fireplace?

The other man was surprised also. Somebody had interrupted his tender date with this beautiful woman, and Theodore didn't doubt it was THAT man. And now, as the real gentleman, he started to feel anger. "This man had invaded Candy's home! I have to stop him".

"What are you doing here, Max?" 99 asked, although she already knew the answer.

"Playing poker with Poland's president." Answered Smart.

99 forced a little laugh.

" That's not funny, Max. I have kicked you out. What are you doing here?"

There was going to be a great quarrel. 99, her (ex-)husband and Theodore. Somebody was not wanted here, and it was not 99.

"It's my home, honey." Max emphasized the word "honey". He didn't even try to hide the irony. "And I see you have brought a new boyfriend. Is it true, my "beloved" wife?"

99 turned her back to Max and her face to Theo.

"It's my life. You have no right to interfere."

" Since when?" Smart asked with interest.

" Since yesterday."

"And what made you think like that? And it's wrong to say I have no rights concerning you, "darling"."

99 became furious. She turned to Max with a goal to tell everything that had accumulated in her soul.

"You want the truth, bozo? I'll tell you the truth! I loved you, loved with all my heart. And you, you bastard, you betrayed me, you humiliated me. Don't try to exonerate yourself. I saw you smooching with Dr. Lorna."

Theo, who had never said the word up until this moment, corrected mechanically:

"Dr. Lewis."

Four eyes turned and looked at Theodore, and he understood that he had made a mistake. A big mistake. A collosal mistake. A fatal mistake. And at that moment he understood the whole trap.

No time for thinking, no time for meditation. There is only time for actions. Theo's movement was as fast as lightning. He ran to his umbrella, held it and turned its sharp edge to the Smarts.

"All what are you thinking about is true. I am from KAOS. And I recommend that you not mess with me. This umbrella is a .25 caliber bullet gun. If you move, Maxwell Smart, you're dead. And about you, Agent 99". The "gentleman" leered at her. "I will spare your life. You are so beautiful, so I don't want to ruin this beauty..." He paused. She turned away in disgust at him. "But only if you will not move, Candy."

"I understand." 99 also knew about her appeal.

Slowly, not looking back, Theo began to move to the door. Just for the moment he blinked, and it was his second fatal error.

Max took a gun from his belt and twirled it like a cowboy.

"Surrender, Theodore Munz, or I will make a hole in your stomach." The very well known intonation of successful secret agents wasn't hidden. To prove he was serious, Max shot at his opponent's direction.

The bullet flew very wide and broke a beautiful framed picture of a seashore. 99 and Theo turned, then 99 sighed:

" Max, it was such a beautiful picture! You will have to buy a new one."

Theo smiled, and this smile was the same as any comic book villain, for example Steelfist, would smile to a hero. Then he shot. This bullet wasn't from Max's gun. It was shot into Max's body and touched his heart. Literally.

Smart shouted, gasped and started to fall down. A blood stain near the heart grew larger and larger. He fell down and moaned: "Oh!". He seemed to faint.

99 forgot everything that had been there and rushed to her husband.

"No, Max!"

The woman started to cry. Max wasn't moving and seemed to die. Blood flowed on the floor, taking the life with it.

Theo felt himself like a winner:

"Tell your bosses in CONTROL that it's Theodore Munz, who did it! Don't touch me, and I won't kill you. Smart was killed by great Theo!"

He put the umbrella on the floor and folded his arms smugly.

And then it happened: the event nobody expected. Smart opened his eyes. He blinked. He raised his arm and touched the blood. Then he licked his finger.

"Mmm, yummy strawberry taste — it's delicious! Dr. Lewis surpassed herself this time."

99 opened her eyes wide, then smiled. Max jumped up like nothing had happened. Theodor was so surprised so mouth opened automatically.

"How... it can be?" He stammered.

" The old "artificial strawberry blood bag at the bulletproof vest" trick! All right, Theo, you fiend! Surrender!"

Not fully recovered from amazement, the KAOS agent shook his head negatively.

Then Max asked 99:

"Would you believe, 99, that we are fishing now?"

"Oh yes, Max."

99 was fast as lightning in pressing the button near the fireplace. A big net fell from the ceiling to cover Theo completely. While he was trying desperately to free himself, 99 had time to say:

"It's a shame about this beautiful picture... Oh Max!"

"I will buy a new one, bigger and more beautiful." Max assured her. Then he whistled loudly. It was a signal.