Romano sat in the passenger's seat of the car while Spain loaded their suitcases in the back. They were driving to the airport. Plane was the better option since if they went by car they would have to go through France to get to Italy. Spain got in the driver's side and looked over at Romano.

"Are you ready?" he asked. Romano merely nodded staring at his lap. Spain frowned and reached over moving a lock of hair out of his face, he flinched and looked over at Spain questioningly only to find the Spaniard giving him a bright smile.

"Hey," Spain said, "Don't worry, it'll be good for both of us. Your brother misses you too, you'll have fun and I'll never leave your side while we're there."

Spain thought he must've been seeing things but at that moment Romano smiled. Or at least partially smiled. That warmed the Spaniard's heart. He started the engine and they began their drive to the airport.

XxXxX

They landed in Italy hours later. Romano had fallen asleep on the plane ride there. Luckily it was quiet considering they rode in first class. Countries always rode in first class even they weren't flying for business purposes. It's just how it was, especially considering South Italy was flying on the plane to Italy. But no one recognized them unless they worked for the government. So Romano had a peaceful sleep, but of course both of them would still be tired when they got to Feliciano's from jetlag. They road a taxi the rest of the way there when they finally reached the younger Italian's it was dark out. But they did leave later in the day so it was to be expected. Romano had changed his mind last minute and so Antonio had to re-convince him to go.

They pulled into the long driveway, got out and began to unload their bags. Feliciano ran out to greet them. He attack hugged his brother. Romano went stiff, Feliciano's eyes went wide when he remembered.

"L-Let me go!" Romano started thrashing and shoved Feliciano. North Italy fell down to the ground, his eyes watery.

"I-I'm sorry fratello!" Feliciano cried. Romano turned around and held on to Spain, shaking. Spain dropped the bags he had been holding and held Romano back. He looked down at Romano and at Feliciano. They both looked like they were about to cry.

"Italy! Are you okay?" Germany came running up and knelt down beside Feliciano.

"S-Si, Doitsu. I-I'm okay." Feliciano shot Spain an apologetic look for forgetting. Spain felt bad for the younger Italian. He always hugged Romano, and though Romano never hugged back he never fought Feliciano when he did. This was the first time Romano ever pushed his brother away.

Germany helped Italy up and cleared his throat.

"We should head inside ja?" and that was the end of this awkward reunion. Spain picked up the bags, Romano kept close to Spain, and Germany and Italy walked hand in hand (much to Romano's dismay). When they stepped inside the smell of pasta filled the air.

"Ve~ We were just making pasta for dinner!~ You're just in time!~" Feliciano said.

"I'll take your bags to your room." Germany said, picking up the bags.

'We're still sharing a room, even though we're not in Spain's house…' Romano thought to himself. 'Why?'

"Fratello!~ Do you want to help me cook?" Feliciano asked his older brother. Romano didn't answer. He was staring off into space.

"F-Fratello?" Feliciano asked worried."Roma?" Spain put his hand on Romano's shoulder, causing the Southern Italian to flinch. Spain could see Feliciano cringed at seeing his brother flinch by just a simple touch.

"D-Do you want to help me cook fratello?~" North Italy said happily trying to play it off.

"Yeah, sure I guess…" Romano said and the two Italians proceeded into the kitchen. Spain sighed and collapsed onto the couch. This was going to be a problem. He knew Feliciano couldn't keep this up, he was already starting to crack and it was a matter of time before he broke down crying. He wished Romano would just tell his brother, but he knew Romano didn't want his brother to worry about him. Everything was complicated.

In the kitchen Feliciano was cutting tomatoes for the pasta, while Romano was stirring the pasta absentmindedly.

'Why would they put Spain and I in the same room? They have several guest bedrooms.' Romano thought. 'They always put us in different rooms so why not now?'

"Fratello?~ I think it's ready." Feliciano said looking over Romano's shoulder, interrupting his thoughts and making him jump.

"Ah! D-Don't do that idiot!" Romano shouted.

"I-I'm sorry Romano!" Feliciano cried and opened his arms to hug him but stopped when he remembered. "Ah… I'll go uh get the others okay?"

"Whatever…" Romano said. Feliciano walked out of the room, and Romano began to feel nervous. Why? He looked around. Oh no… he was alone… He began shaking.

"How long are you planning to keep this up?" Germany asked. Spain looked up to see the man standing before him.

"Keep what up?" Spain asked confused.

"Holding your emotions in… Doitsu and I know it's tearing you apart…" Feliciano replied softly standing at the door way. Romano was down the hall, hopefully not able to hear any of this.

"It is… but really it's not about me. Imagine how he feels…" Spain said. No matter how badly it hurt that his little Roma, the object of all his affection, his world, had been defiled, embarrassed, and scarred, doesn't even compare to how badly Romano hurts experiencing it. Just THINKING about how badly it MIGHT hurt is nothing compared to KNOWING how badly it DOES hurt. Also, he guiltily admits it, not out loud though, is one of the selfish thoughts that first came to his mind: 'I won't be Romano's first…' And that is another thing that is tearing him apart. Romano gets raped and Spain thinks about his desires.

"Si, but Spain will go crazy if he holds it in!" Feliciano reasoned.

'Too late.' Spain thought to himself.

Suddenly a CRASH came from the kitchen.

"Romano!" Spain jumped up from the couch, hopped over the coffee tabled and bolted down the hallway to the kitchen. When he got there he saw Romano backed up into a corner again, tears running down his face, shaking. Sadly, this was becoming the norm, but it still hurt Spain to see it every time. He looked over to see a plate broken on the floor. He walked over to Romano and put his hands on either side of the younger's face, using his thumbs to wipe the tears off.

"Shh… it's okay, I'm here Romano, everything's okay…" Spain whispered, trying to calm the southern half nation. Romano choked on more tears and threw his arms around Spain's neck burying his face in the crook between Spain's neck and shoulder.

"Don't leave me Antonio…" Romano whispered. Spain's heart skipped a beat. Romano called him by his human name, and told him not to leave him… He felt a smile coming to his lips until he remembered what he had told Romano in the first place.

"-I'll never leave your side while we're there." And yet he had. He had already broken his promise. He had left Romano all alone in this state. He held Romano tighter to him.

"I'm so sorry Romano…" Spain whispered with tears of his own coming to his eyes. He couldn't hold it in much longer. He was slipping, he would either go mental or became an emotional volcano… which would then later lead to him being mental.

"Oh no! Fratello are you okay?" Feliciano asked, running in.

"He's okay, um he just got a little spooked." Spain lied, knowing that they knew the truth.

Because of him. Without Romano's consent.

During dinner Romano had calmed down and began to eat. Though hardly. He seemed mostly out of it through out dinner. Feliciano usually was the one that made sure there was no silence during dinner. He had this amazing ability to quickly chew and swallow his food in a second and continue in conversation. Even when he was the only one talking. But tonight, he was silent, Germany was a silent person, Romano was deep in thought, and Spain was worried about what Romano was thinking about. Which made the dinner very quiet. Awkwardly quiet. Spain wanted to yell, scream. He could tell Feliciano was in the same boat as him. But he wasn't suppose to know, and Spain was suppose to be brave for Romano. So they could only scream on the inside and slowly lose their sanity. If only he knew what was going on in his former henchman's head! But he could probably guess… and if he could read Romano's mind he'd probably break down.

"Well… you and Romano are probably tired from the flight ja?" Germany was surprisingly the one to break the silence. "It'd be best for you two to get some sleep…"

"Ah, yes, it would probably be best…" Spain replied, silently thanking Ludwig. "Let's go Romano. Buenos noches and gracias for letting us stay here for the week."

"Ve~ No problem at all!~" Feliciano said. "Buonanotte!~"

Romano nodded in reply and followed Spain to their room.

'One room, one bed. They didn't expect one of us to sleep on the floor so why only one room?' Romano thought. 'Do they think we're… together?'

"Romano? Do you want to change in the room or the bathroom?" Spain asked.

"I'll… take the bathroom, bastard. I have to wash my face…" Romano muttered stepping in the bathroom and closing the door. He started undressing down to his boxers.

'But why would they think we're together? We don't act any differently…' Romano turned and looked in the mirror and immediately thought 'Dirty'.

"Yeah, cus the only one I've been with is…" Romano's voiced died out as a sob wracked his body. 'France. The only one I've been with is fucking France.' He got down on his knees and looked in the cabinet under the sink for a razor. He could claim to take a shower and give his wrist time to stop bleeding. Spain wouldn't suspect a thing. But he looked and looked and found no razors. 'What the hell?' He thought. Feliciano already stocked up on EVERYTHING when Romano came to visit. Did he just forget? Forget.

He needed to forget.

His body has been touched only by dirty hands. He was dirty. He needed to forget. He needed something to make him forget… or someone… Romano stood up, why hadn't he thought of it before? He wanted, no, NEEDED love. REAL love. The love that wouldn't hurt him, wouldn't use him. From someone who was always there for him. He needed to forget, and this would make him forget. Having his body touched by another, someone worthy of it will erase the feeling of those dirty hands he keeps remembering. He unlocked the door and stepped out of the bathroom. The room was dark, but he could see his soon to be lover's form under the covers. He quietly stepped over to the bed.

Spain was waiting for Romano to join him, he still hadn't heard the water start running. But his vision was fading with exhaustion. He was slipping into dream land when he heard the door open from the bathroom. His eyes closed. Then he felt movement on the bed, Romano must've been too tired to wash his face. All of a sudden he felt weight on him. A weight of another person. His eyes shot open to see Romano, straddling his hips. His eyes glazed over with lust, his face was red like a tomato.

"Spain…" he moaned. Spain felt his face heat up.

"R-Romano, w-what are you-?"

"Shh…" Romano leaned down and brushed his lips against Spain's. "No talking…"

He pressed his lips to Spain's. The Spaniard felt the Italian's tongue swipe across his bottom lip. He complied by opening his mouth and their tongues entwined, trying to dominate the other which Spain won but had a feeling the Southern Italian let him win. Romano grinded his hips against Spain's, making them both moan into each other's mouths. Spain grabbed Romano's hips and flipped them over to where he was on top and grinded against him again. He began kissing down Romano's neck.

"Antonio… I need you…" Romano whispered. But all of a sudden Spain stopped.

'No… I can't… I can't do this… not-not while he's in this state. This isn't what he wants…'

"No Romano…" Spain whispered back. Romano stopped what he was doing and looked at Spain wide eyed.

"W-What?" Romano asked tears coming to his eyes.

"No, Romano… not like this…" Spain said. A tear slid down Romano's face.

"I'm not good enough…?" Romano whispered, beginning to pull away.

"N-No! That's not what I meant Roma-" Spain said reaching towards the Italian only to have his hand slapped away.

"Shut up! I'm not good enough… I'm dirty…" Romano sobbed. "A whore for a drunk French man! That's all I'm good for!" He jumped off the bed and ran out of their room.

"ROMANO!" Spain shouted running after him.

Romano ran down the hallway, his heart pounded in his chest, his chest was heaving, tears were cascading down his face. His vision was blurred, he fell to his knees. Sobs were wracking his body. Too much, this was just too much.

"Fratello!" Feliciano ran down the hallway towards him in his pajamas. "Are you okay?"

Romano couldn't speak right now. He could hardly breath. He heard someone else run up.

"Romano…" it was Spain. "I'm so sorry…"

Feliciano wrapped his arms around his older brother protectively.

"It's okay fratello, you're safe here…!" Feliciano cried. "France can't hurt you anymore…"

Romano froze. Spain cringed.

'He knew…?' Romano thought. 'But how…?' He looked up at Spain.

"You…" Romano whispered. All light that had come back to his eyes since that horrid day was gone. All the trust between Spain and Romano was thrown out the window.

"Romano…" Spain tried walking toward the Southern Italian only to have the boy latch on to his younger brother.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" He shouted as he hid his face in Feliciano's chest. The younger brother pulled him tighter and murmured Italian into his ear to calm him down as he cried.

Spain felt his heart break into a million pieces.