Title: Drabble Royale
Disclaimer: Don't make me waste my words on this...
Rating: G ( K ) – Subject to change per chapter. Be sure to keep an eye out.
Featured Characters: Emperor Pilaf, Mai and Soba.
Theme/Question: What has Emperor Pilaf been up to?
Word Count: 505

For dearest Egg-Zilla (on DeviantArt).

Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving! (Even if you're not American.)

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"Is the secret weapon ready?" the tiny green warlord asked his minions.

Jumping at once to deliver a smart military salute to their boss, both replied, "Sir, yes, SIR, Emperor Pilaf, sir!"

Turning a deadpan look upon the taller of the two underlings, – the ruby-lipped female – the venerable Emperor Pilaf said, "...right. Mai, are we prepared to test it?"

"Sir, yes – "

"Cut it out with all the 'sirs,' you nincompoop!" the minty green midget interrupted, his cheeks turning bright red as his frustration reached its boiling point. With the whistling steam pouring out of his ears, he looked exactly like a novelty teapot ready to be taken off its burner. "Just tell me if the secret weapon is ready to be tested!

Mai, who was sweating with fear because of her leader's vaporous tantrum, replied quickly and simply, "Y-Yes. We've got it all set up, Emperor Pilaf, si – er, highness."

As the last water particles evaporated into the air, Pilaf resumed his previous calm facade. After all, there was plenty to be cheerful about; with his new mail-ordered secret weapon in play, those dirty, rotten meddlesome kids would be destroyed and the dragonballs would be his! HIS!

"Excellent, Mai!" the Napoleon-esq psudo-villain exclaimed, taking a moment to savor an evil guffaw at his enemies' expense. "Soba, push the red button!"

"Th-the red button, milord?" the second, shorter minion of the canine variety stuttered, glancing over his shoulder at the secret weapon in question. The directions hadn't been terribly specific on what the giant catapult-looking...thing was supposed to do, so he was understandably (and visibly) hesitant about pushing the Red Button of Doom (or so the label called it). "Mai has seniority, milord. I believe that she deserves the honor."

Emperor Pilaf frowned at the polite refusal, but returned his focus to the female counterpart of his minion duo. "Well, Mai? Push the button!"

Instantaneously, the previously smirking Mai blanched a pasty white. "B-But, highness, I don't think I have the...qualifications to...Shouldn't you, oh Wise One, be the one to do the honors?"

On the verge of boiling over again, Pilaf snapped at the pair, "Fine! If you can't appreciate the special favor I've granted you, I'll just do it myself! Hmph!"

Stalking over to the hulking apparatus, the tiny monarch stopped right in front of the Red Button of Doom and poised his finger to strike.

"Watch, there's nothing to be afraid of you, imbec – " His last word was cut off as the machine turned on him, flattening him to the ground with a single, painful strike.

"Emperor Pilaf!"

"Sir, are you alright?"

As his clownish underlings leapt to his aid, Pilaf narrowed his bulbous eyes at the company sticker pasted to the base of the defective secret weapon. "Mai...," he beckoned, gasping for air.

"Yes, sir?"

"Get me...the...manual," he commanded breathlessly.

"Why?"

"I want...to call...the customer service hotline...for ACME Inc...and give them...a piece...of...my..."

Before he could finish his final word, Emperor Pilaf blacked out.

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Author's Note: Anybody who's ever seen a Wile E. Coyote cartoon knows why this drabble is funny XD

. ( . Ms Videl Son . ) .