"Curses, how'd they get in here? Flippin freeloaders..."
Midna turned, looked at the Great Bunniwrath, and went back to sleeping in the tree. She liked to imagine the supreme God of the Universe wasn't a loony, floppy-eared thing that couldn't decide whether or not it was a reptile.
The vampires stared in pure shock.
"It's... it's a-"
"Bunniwrath." Finished God. "And you should know, that I am the Supreme Being of this miniscule universe. You have been sent here to populate it with your DNA, and you're not coming back until that is accomplished. I also suggest you make peace with the Hylians next to you. The humans are a mistake."
He turned to the Bearers of the Triforce "These beings you see in front of you are part of a similar universe to the Vampire's, but distinct in that theirs has no vampires."
"Could you say that again? I didn't understand." Said Zelda.
The Rabbit gave her a killing look. He tries again. "The sparkly dudes are from a very advanced world. So are the flying cats. The sparklers are a mythological being to the flying cats. An accomplished piece of fiction created the exact characters you see there, and the flying cats have fallen in love with the two males. And Link. They are familiar with your tale, as it has been immortalized into a popular game. Do you understand?"
"Yes, that makes much more sense. Thank you."
"Very well, if you need my assistance, devise a complicated ritual to summon me. I have programmed a trans-language understanding between all three of your languages. It won't work for writing. Also, you are the Great Ancestors of all the races, so... get more ancient and god-like clothing. Maybe through the ritual. But you'd have to be naked at the point of the ritual, since you're not supposed to wear clothes at the dawn of time."
And with a twirl of his new top hat, God vanished.
And the Banes of Existence began to move again.
They swooped down upon Link, who began slashing wildly until they took his sword. Then one with blonde hair and a "jakeward" shirt picked him up.
The other guys were not just hanging around having a picnic at this time. They were also getting chased by flying cats, and Midna's luck just about ran out as they finally noticed her.
"Get away from me, you *bleep**bleep**bleep*!" she screamed while almost falling out of the tree.
A transcript of their screaming is in order:
"SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"OMG, GAIS, DID U C THA7 TOTTALY CREEPY WABBIT?"
"YA, IT WAS, LIKE, TLKING BOUT TWILIGHT TA ZELDA!"
"BUT THEN IT SAID SOMETHING ABOUT A RITUAL, ND DEY GATTA BE NAKED!"
!
"OMG, IT'S MIDNA! DA TWILIGHT PWINCESS!"
"EDWAAARD! JACOOOB!"
"YA GAIS, WE SHULD TOTTALY DO THAT RITUAL THING. IT'D B SOOOOO C00L!"
"WE COULD HAVE A WHOLE DRAWING ON TH GROUND, ND TIE THEM IN CHAINS, ND THEN THERE'S THE BST PART!"
"BUT WERE DO WE GET CHAINS FR0M?"
"I HAV SUM IN MAI BAG!"
"YA, BUT WE'D HAFTA BE TOTTALY NAKED, 2!"
"WHO CARES!"
Fortunately, Link had a plan, and he managed to subdue all the feline harpies before nightfall. And during the duration of their plan-making, they let Midna, Jacob, and Edward go. And yes, they were having a picnic. One of the trees grew mangoes.