Yes, two chapters in one day!

Chapter Four

Alex Eames didn't believe in ghosts, and she had no desire to have that belief challenged. She knew very little about ghosts and spirits, and hoped to maintain that ignorance until her own entry into that world, an entry that she hoped would be delayed as long as possible. From what little she knew about supernatural figures, the large shadow at the foot of her bed wasn't acting like one. Ghosts were supposed to haunt where they'd died or were buried or had unfinished business. Alex couldn't think why Bobby Goren would haunt her home, unless it had something to do with some unfinished business. Ghosts were supposed to be wispy and fragile; this figure was remarkably solid. No light flooded through it. No cries came from it, only a deep and sad sigh.

And then it spoke.

"Oh...Oh...Alex...Eames...I'm so sorry so terribly sorry. I...I couldn't do anything. I...I was hurt, and then...For the mission...They said it was better if...And it took me so long to get better. I'm sorry...I'm so sorry. And then to come here like this...But I had to see you. To at least let you know...I'm sorry...So sorry..."

He shuffled towards her side of the bed as he spoke. Alex, her heart finally approaching a normal rate and breathing again, clicked on the lamp on her bedside table. She looked up at Bobby. He stood awkwardly and stiffly, his left hand rubbing the back of his neck. He was very pale and had lost a great deal of weight. His graying curls were a week or so beyond needing cut, but he was clean shaven. He wore a blue shirt over a black T-shirt with jeans, all of which seemed a size too big for him. All of this Alex noted as part of her second nature as a detective. All that really registered with her was that Bobby, alive, breathing, speaking, stood by her bed.

Alex seized his hand. It was flesh and bone, nerve and muscle. "Bobby. You're alive. You're alive." She pulled at his hand, and Bobby sat heavily on the bed.

"I think I am. Sometimes I wonder," he said ruefully. "Especially when I first wake up. But then some little pain or being hungry or needing to use the bathroom reminds me. Or a memory. Especially a memory of you."

Alex shook, and then fell into Bobby's arms. He stiffened and then wrapped his arms around her.

"Oh." Her voice was muffled in his chest. "Bobby. I'm sorry. I hurt you..." Her fingers splayed across his jaw and throat, where she saw and felt the scars. "You've been hurt."

"I...I'm ok now," Bobby said. He struggled to ignore the tiny sparks Alex's fingers sent through his body. "There...There was an explosion..." He shivered.

"Oh, Bobby." Alex gently turned his face so that she could see his eyes. "I lost you. I really lost you. But you came back."

Bobby swam in her sea green eyes. "I...I was in bad shape, I guess. By the time I was well enough to know what was going on, a couple of months had passed."

Alex winced.

"By then, it was safer for a lot of people and me for certain people to think I was dead. It helped smoke out the people responsible for Ross' death."

Alex felt a surge of satisfaction.

"His kids...Everyone...Will know he's a hero," Bobby declared. "His name will be cleared."

"That's very important to you," Alex said.

"I owe him a lot. And it was the right thing to do."

"You almost got killed." Alex's fingers found more scars on his neck.

"The only thing I regret is that you didn't know. I mean...I...I knew...Upset is such a weak word."

"Bobby." Alex pulled away from him.

"Alex...Eames...Please...I don't...God...I don't know how to explain this...Please...I...I can't imagine I mean anything to you. I only know what you mean to me. And if you feel half of what I feel for you...The thought of how much pain...But then maybe you..." His head fell to lean against hers. "What I realized...Over there...And when I was getting better...I realized...I guess something I knew since I met you...I love you."

Alex's heart jumped, and there was a roar in her ears, and the light seemed terribly bright. "I'm feeling just like when I learned Bobby was..." She suddenly became aware that Bobby wasn't sitting on the bed. "Bobby..."

"It's ok," Bobby said flatly. "Don't worry. This didn't happen." His body slumped. "After all, I'm supposed to be dead. It should be easy to..."

"No! No!" Alex jumped from the bed and threw her arms around him. "Don't say that! Don't go! I can't lose you again. Not again. I love you. I can't lose you again." She kissed him.

Bobby seized her face and returned the kiss. Alex pulled his shirts from his jeans and fumbled with his belt.

"Alex. What..."

"I'm not going to lose you again. Not again." She grabbed the bottom of his T-shirt and jerked both of his shirts over his head. She gasped at the patches of scarred skin on his chest and back.

"Oh, Bobby," she murmured.

"It's not that bad...Wasn't...As bad as it looks...Oh, Alex," he whispered as she tenderly kissed the scars on his shoulder.

She reached for his jeans and unzipped them. She pulled them down with his boxers. Bobby kicked off his shoes and awkwardly stepped out of his clothes. He yanked off his socks and stood shyly before Alex.

"He's scared," she thought."He's standing naked and vulnerable in front of me and it's taking all of his guts to do it." She grabbed the bottom of her top and pulled it over her head. Bobby gasped as he fell to his knees in front of her.

"Oh, Alex. Beautiful, wonderful Alex." He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him. His curls were soft against her breasts. She ran her fingers through his hair.

"Bobby. My beautiful, brave Bobby." She kissed the top of his head. "C'mon. Let's get in bed. That floor must be killing your knees."

He rose unsteadily and slipped under the sheet. Alex shed her underwear, and Bobby stared at her with so much passion and love that it was Alex's turn to be frightened. Bobby had so many scars, far more than just the ones on his body. She wondered if she could heal any of them.

"Alex. If you have any doubts about this...Any at all..."

The gentle yearning in his voice drove away her fears.

"Oh, Bobby..." Alex slipped beneath the sheets next to him. "You're lying naked in my bed. I'm naked. I'd say I'm pretty sure about this." She lay on her side and faced him. Bobby gently touched her cheek.

"It's been a long time since I've done this," he confessed. "And it means so much to me. You...Alex...What I feel about you. It must be love. It's gotta be. It...I think it kept me alive during these past months. It kept me sane." He smiled sadly. "Or at least what passes for sane with me."

"Oh, Bobby." Alex touched his cheek.

He raised his body over her. "Don't let me hurt you. Don't let me do anything you don't want."

In the next few moments he did nothing to hurt her and nothing she didn't want or like. He did a great deal to make her feel more wonderful than she ever had. She was, in spite of periods of enforced celibacy, a sensual being. She was not a blushing girl. But, whether it was because of her love and need for Bobby, or his need and love for her, she'd never experienced lovemaking in the way Bobby loved her. As she returned to the reality of her bedroom, Alex became aware of Bobby next to her. His right arm was flung over his eyes, and his body shook. She shakily raised her body so that she could look down on him.

"Bobby. It's all right. It's more than all right."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he muttered. "Everything I ever did to you. And everything you've done for me. You never gave up on me. And how I've repaid you."

"Bobby." Alex tenderly pulled his arm away from his eyes. They were tightly shut, and tears shone on his long eyelashes. "You never did that much. And what you just did for me makes up for an awful lot." She kissed the tears on his lashes. "And there's a lot of other things you've done that have made me very happy. And this return from the dead. It's the best thing you've ever done."

"Like I said, I'm sorry I couldn't tell you." He was calm now. "I was in the explosion that destroyed Hassan's compound. I was trying to get away." He smiled sadly. "My memory is pretty fuzzy. I remember the explosion, but then it's a blur. My first clear memory is being on a Navy ship. And that was at least a couple of weeks after the explosion. By that time, I think the FBI had told you I was dead."

"One of the agents—McAllister-He knew you were alive?" Alex tried to keep anger out of her voice. None of this was Bobby's fault.

"He was one of the contact agents. Don't blame him, Alex. He wanted to tell you. So did a lot of people .But letting people think I was dead helped the Bureau and the CIA could protect a lot of people and help several missions." He stretched. "I'm not sure I entirely believe all of that, but I wasn't in any position to argue."

Alex gently touched his shoulder and tried not to linger on the scars there. "It looks like you were hurt pretty bad."

Bobby touched Alex's face. "It...It wasn't pretty. Some third degree burns. A couple of broken ribs. I was out of it for a while. I wanted them to contact you."

"Why didn't you call?" Alex asked. "Why suddenly appear?"

"I wasn't thinking clearly, obviously," Bobby admitted. "They finally brought me back to New York. And they promised me that as soon as I was well enough to be released I could see anyone I wanted. They told me he deception to go on. And when they finally let me go this afternoon...Or was it yesterday? I had to see you. I had no idea of what to say on the phone. I just had to see you."

"What would you have done if I had changed my lock? Or moved?"

"Don't know. Pound on your door until someone called the cops. Like I said, I wasn't really thinking. Still not," Bobby said ruefully. "It's not a great explanation."

"No it isn't." Alex leaned forward and kissed Bobby. "But I'm so glad that you're alive."

They made love again. Her passion stunned Alex; his stamina stunned Bobby. They lay entangled and exhausted together when they finished.

"Wow," Alex murmured.

"Very wow," Bobby said.

Alex raised her body so she could look down at Bobby. "You had a great memorial service."

Bobby smiled sleepily. "Really? Everyone have a good time?"

"Yea. Although everyone said they wished they knew you better. I hope you give them that chance."

Bobby reached for Alex and pulled her to him. "Were...Were there a lot of people?"

"You really have no idea how many people care about you, how many you've helped, how many...well...love you?"

Bobby's cheeks reddened.

"There were a lot of people. A lot. Even a lot of cops." Alex nested on his chest. "You know what? I think we'll need another service to celebrate your return. Let you see just how many people care about you."

Bobby's hands began to roam through her hair. "Oh, God, Alex, it's so good to be with you and alive."

Alex kissed him on the cheek. "Yea..."

END