Xena

"How could you?!" Xena screamed. She attacked Ares and so great was her speed that even Ares didn't see her move until she was upon him. Zeus and Aphrodite cringed in horror as she castrated him for what he had done.

"Why, why this wasn't even my fault!" Ares screamed. "Why not castrate him?"

"Because you didn't tell me you sack of shit!" Xena yelled. "Besides you shouldn't piss me off so often maybe I wouldn't have come after you, now you go drag his sorry ass here before I put my boot up your ass!" Ares disappeared cradling his manhood. Lucky for him it could be reattached, but he knew that one of Xena's powers would prevent that from happening until she relented.

"What else does that damn book say?" Xena asked. Zeus quickly went up to the book to read it, preferring not to test his brother's daughter.

"Its just tells how Ares took you to your father at his orders and then how you were blessed with beauty from Aphrodite, intelligence from Athena, a love for wild life and hunting skills from Artemis, Demeter gave you a green thumb, Ares gave you your war skills, Apollo as gave you your gift of healing, Hades gave you your ability to travel to his world and back unharmed with the use of your powers, Hermes gave you speed, and there's a very long list of gifts need I continue?"

"Just tell me how did he get my mother?"

"She was traveling pass the sea when he appeared to her. Her husband was away at war again and at first he appeared to her as a great white horse so beautiful that it was almost a sin to look upon him. She was so taken by the horse that she stopped and got off her wagon to touch him just once. Than he bowed to her and let her ride him. He took her to this beautiful beach on an island and made love to her there appearing in his true form of course." Xena rolled her eyes.

"Must you Gods always appear as animals?"

"No, I suppose its just to use our powers." Xena gave an irritated noise and Zeus immediately grabbed his genitals.

"What is my power anyway?" Xena asked.

"Your ability to convince people to follow you and do what you want. Its why you're so lovable, you're irresistible when you really think about it."

"Some power."

"Why is it that Jason is so special, why him?" Xena asked. "I'm sure there have been other demi-Gods that have procreated before."

"But its different with you and Hercules," Zeus told her.

"Hercules is my son and he is a powerful demi-God or was. As a God he could be the greatest of Gods. I mean could have been. And you Xena, with all your gifts are ten times the demi-God any other demi-God is that just equals Hercules power if not more. Think of how much of an increase of power that will be if you became a full God? You could be my Queen."

"Don't get your hopes up Zeus, incest is not my thing, but not that it matters anymore because my son is also my freaking cousin!"

"Oh get over yourself, incest is not as bad as people make it sound," Aphrodite told her. "Cupid turned out fine didn't he?"

"It's different," Xena told her angrily.

"How?" Aphrodite asked.

"Well let's see, you come from my great-grandfather genitals which were thrown into the sea. Its not…" Aphrodite looked at her as she stopped. "Never mind Aunt and Nephew is even worse than cousin and cousin. First cousins at that!"

"Daddy I think Xena has lost it."

"No, she hasn't and let's face it if Hercules was here she'd still do him." Aphrodite nodded.

"Shut up!" Xena yelled at him knowing that even this new information would not stop her from ever loving Hercules. Zeus closed his mouth shut. "Now how can I find my son?"