The sun had set in an almost depressing display of colors. Kyle was still in shock from knowing Butters had thought of death so flippantly as if it were some whim of his that he was still alive. It was wrong and sickening that he had even said it the way he did. The red head brushed back Butters's blonde hair form his sleeping face, sighing as he felt the chill the boys had taken on. The once radiant sun beam was icy even when covered in a mountain of blankets. He bent down and kissed the blonde's little nose gently and whispered, "I'm so sorry, Butters. I'm sorry." He slipped under the covers with the blonde spooning him to keep the blonde warm, "I'll take you back to him. I swear I'll keep you safe."

Butters opened his eyes and stared ahead blankly after he was sure Kyle had fallen asleep. He could feel the wet stain on the back of his shirt from Kyle's tears. He could feel his heart flutter at the thought of seeing Kenny again but then he gripped the cloth over his chest wincing in pain as the familiar ache he had grown used to became almost unbearable again. He shifted in Kyle's arms and buried his face in his chest, "But I love you now too." He whispered as tears fell without his permission. He tangled his legs up with Kyle's, "I love you too."

He stared wide eyed at the sight before him. He shook his head, not understanding. Stan was supposed to be the strong one. He was the smart one, the one who could do anything. Kenny choked on tears as he moved towards the bed where his hero lay sickeningly thin and pale and bleeding, "St-Stan... What happened?" He placed his hand on Stan's, his entire body shaking as tears poured down his face. "Stan, answer me... Please, don't be dead! Don't you be gone too!" His voice cracked as he screamed and grabbed Stan's pale face, "Please wake up! I need you! Please Stan!"

Hearing his name, Stan slowly opened his eyes and saw the boy he had practically raised even if he was the same age, "K-Kenny... Why are you crying?" He smiled softly as Kenny's tear filled eyes showed pure relief as he spoke, "What's wrong?" He reached up and carressed his soft face, "You've been drinking... I'm sorry, but I'm not too strong right now..." He winced in pain as it all came back to him. He had tried to kill himself and failed. By the look on Kenny's face, it was a good thing he hadn't succeeded.

"You...You're not dead..." His bottom lip trembled as he pushed his face against the crease in Stan's neck, "You didn't leave me...I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... Don't leave me too... I'll be good. I promise! I'll stop doing the drugs, the drinking, everything! Just don't leave me too!" He sobbed pitifully gripping Stan's hand as tight as he could. His chest felt like a thousand knives had been plunged into it and someone was pouring salt into the wounds while Butters twisted the knives.

Stan sat up carefully ignoring the weakness in his body, "I'm not going anywhere. Calm down. Be strong for yourself, for Butters." He held the blonde rocking him best he could since he hurt to move, "I'll clean up then we'll sit down and talk. We'll get better for them. We'll be strong and ready for them when they come back to us." He took a deep breath, his heart growing heavy from the thought of their lovers and form the sight of Kenny crying. It was a known fact that Kenny never cried.

"But what if they don't come back? Stan, I need Butters to live. I can barely breathe without him." He sat up looking Stan in the eye, "What if they can't? Butters...Butters isn't strong enough to be by himself. Kyle will stay with him so whatever they do, they will do together and we can do nothing to stop them. I blame Kyle's Jewish stubborness." He smirked a little as Stan chuckled.

The black haired boy looked at the blood on his body in disgust, "First, help me to a shower then we eat, talk, and clean. They'll come back. They love us too."

Groaning as he sat up, Kyle glared at the sun, "Bastard." He shifted looking around for Butters, "Butters, baby, where are you?" He tensed as he didn't hear a reply. "Babe?" He stood stretching as he walked through the room, "Butters, are you in the closet again?" He checked and found no Butters. He searched through every room, "Butters!" He ran through the house and knocked on the bathroom door, "Butters, are you in here?! Babe, it's me! Come on! Open up!" He banged on the door but received no reply. Grasping the handle he threw the door open and froze.

He stared at the smiling blonde, "What...?" He looked in horror at the crimson everywhere around the blonde, "Butters, what the hell did you do?!" He snatched a towel and wrapped aorund the blonde's throat, "Butters, come on! Stay awake!" He lifted the blonde carefully aand ran out the house, "Butters, stay with me!" He set him in the passenger seat and started the car, "I won't let you die!"

Butters rolled his head to the side to look at Kyle, "I can't live..." He took a shuddering breath, "Not now..." He closed his eyes numbed by the blood loss, "I can't..."

Kyle shook his head, "No. You deserve to live! Out of all of out group, you deserved it more than the rest of us so live dammit!"

Kenny shuddered at the sparkling clean room, "It's horrible... Kyle would be pissing himself in happiness." He leaned back against the wall looking around, "It's weird, foreign." He looked over as Stan chuckled and grinned, "You'd make his mom proud."

Stan shuddered, "That woman still scares me."

"More than Wendy?" Stan thought a minute before shaking head, "No. Nothing can scare me more than crazy bitch. I still don't know how they deal with each other." He plopped down on the couch, "Maybe they have angry sex every hour to get the frustration out." He laughed at Kenny's horrified face, "Bad mental image?"

"Are you trying to make me go blind?!" He rubbed his eyes trying to burn the image from his brain. They settled into a tensed silence, "We need them back, Stan. I need Butters to be home welcoming me with his big blue eyes and pout because I forgot the milk. I need Kyle fussing at me because we get caught in the bathroom everytime you two come over to visit."

Stan nodded, "You're ri-ri-ri... You're ri... You're not wrong, but we need to let them come back on their own. They won't come back if we force them. Kyle won't let them. Damn the Jersey pride and Jew stubborness."

"I always have!...Is it that hard to say I was right?"

"Unbelievably so."

to be cont.