Warning – This chapter continues from the previous and contains descriptive scenes including mentions of pregnancy loss and death. Reader discretion is advised.

Chapter Four

Marcus almost stumbled into the apartment after dropping Jamie off with Eddie. Melissa was waiting for him with JJ in his bassinet. Marcus' eyes focused on his baby boy as he crossed the room and lifted him out of the basket.

"He's sleeping, honey, he's fine," Melissa told him softly. "He's just fine. Come here."

Marcus closed the space between them and sat down. Melissa put her arm around him, Marcus finally let go. "That baby didn't have a chance, not a chance. Jamie, he shut off, he usually runs this stuff and when the Mom was getting worked on he just held that little thing…"

"I'm sure Eddie already has him talking, try not to worry," Melissa soothed. "You are home with me and our boy, you are safe and you are loved."

Marcus sniffled and looked up at his beautiful wife. "Did he do anything cute today?"

Melissa laughed, "He did, he sniffled…it was just this little tiny *sniff* but his face scrunched up…"

"His first sniffle…" Marcus smiled. "I think that means we celebrate with his first pizza take out day. You want to get half meatball?"

Melissa nodded. She had never had to see Marcus through a rough patch on the job and it seemed that he shook even this horrible call off once he was home. Melissa worried about Jamie and Eddie, Jamie was Marcus' mentor. "Honey, do you think maybe you should let Danny know what happened? Maybe he should check on things. Eddie might need help especially since she was having problems with her foot."

"Oh, Nancy, her nurse friend checked it. She doesn't think there's anything broken, it was swelling from heat," Marcus replied as he got the computer out and started to order their dinner.

"Oh good, still, what do you think?" Melissa was concerned for Eddie. She knew how fragile a place Eddie was in and if she tried and failed to help Jamie, it might push her even further.

"I think that Jamie has what he needs, he needs Eddie. She is probably the only one that can reach him and if she needs us or anyone, she will let us know," Marcus replied. "Stop worrying, being a Mom is making you a worry wart."

Marcus took a shower while they waited for the pizza. Melissa fed JJ then snuggled the boy to her bosom. Melissa's disability interfered with her milk production, but JJ was very happy formula fed baby. When the pizza came, Marcus served them on TV trays and turned the lights down to a dim glow. "Let me take him," he murmured and took the baby boy into his arms before setting him in his swing. "How was it today without me home?"

"I missed you," Melissa replied. "But we did very well here on our own. The therapist came by and she thinks JJ is the best thing too. He's so precious, how did we get so lucky?"

Marcus looked down at Melissa, her chestnut hair shining in the soft light, her doe brown eyes twinkling, "How did I get so lucky?" Marcus whispered closing the gap between them. "I think the pizza can wait."

Melissa sighed, "Marcus, I just gave birth and I…"

"I know," Marcus replied. "I'm not that Neanderthal, but just because we can't…" Marcus began to kiss Melissa's face and neck. "Doesn't mean that I can't worship you…"

Marcus caught Melissa's gasp in his mouth as he took her lips. It was a slow wondering kiss, a gentle touch that sought, but did not pursue, a delicate tasting of her lips. Melissa quivered in her husband's arms, her hands automatically moving to his shoulders to hold him in place. They always had a very active romantic life, much to Melissa's enjoyment. Still, Marcus didn't try to deepen the kiss, instead he raised his mouth and touched his nose to Melissa's, lolling his head side to side in a soft, brushing movement.

After a long moment, Marcus drew back slightly and let his gaze roam over her face with a certain curiosity. Each time they made love, Marcus looked her over as if it was the very first time. Melissa couldn't look away from his eyes, she was mesmerized watching his irises expand until they had almost become black. Marcus' eyes lingered on the soft, trembling fullness of Melissa's lips, and then slowly lifted to meet her gaze. They stared at each other, so close that she could see her reflection in them and knew he could see himself in hers.

"You're eyes…you have the most beautiful eyes," he whispered, "Bright and soft, like precious stones. I get lost in them."

Melissa swallowed; her heart seemed to be rising to her throat and her hands were still on his shoulders; beneath the warmth of his flesh she could feel the quivering in his muscles as he held her tight to him as if he were trying to pull her into him.

"You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he murmured.

Marcus shifted Melissa so she was lying down, gently lowering her onto the soft cushions.

"Lissy," Marcus sighed into her hair. "My Lissy."

Marcus sucked in his breath and kissed Melissa again. This time he was his more aggressive self, parting her lips and slowly exploring her mouth. Melissa was trembling in his arms as their mouths danced. He deepened the kiss, exploring the ridges of her teeth, the soft sweetness of her mouth. Melissa lay beneath him, aware of the growing force of his passion, yet she was still shocked when his mouth turned hard and demanding asking for more than she was ready to give.

"No, don't go," he pleaded, "Let me touch you…I need you, Melissa."

Even as the words were tumbling from Marcus' lips, his fingers were busy slipping the tiny buttons free from the buttonholes. The buttons ran down to her waist and he worked until he'd undone every one of them while she lay helplessly transfixes at the force of his need even with her body altered from the birth of their son. Their son! He was watching them.

Marcus opened the shirt and pushed it off Melissa's creamy white shoulders dropping the cloth down her arms and bearing her to the waist as JJ woke and felt he was being ignored.

The baby's lusty wail threw a bucket of water on his parent's passion. "Marcus the baby is watching," Melissa sighed. "Cover me before you get him…"

Marcus put the a blanket over Melissa's chest and lifted JJ from the swing to go to his Mommy. "You and I have to talk about timing little man,' Marcus laughed as he sat down next to Melissa covering them both with the soft blanket holding everything he would need in the world in his arms.

Just a short way away, Eddie cradled Jamie in her arms as he sat stiffly staring out without saying a word. She rubbed a hand across his back in small circles holding him tightly as she could. "It's okay lambchop let it out. I'm here, I'm right here with you." Eddie dropped a kiss on Jamie's head.

Still, Eddie received no response save the deep, firmly set stare at some blank spot on the far wall. Eddie sighed. She worried about all the time, Jamie kept so much locked inside of him now his emotions buried deep down inside he had to shut down to cope with them all. It seemed there was nothing she could do, but calling to the family was out of the question, this was far too personal for him. Eddie took a deep breath, and absently began to sing an old Serbian lullaby that her mother sang to her when she was young.

In Eddie's arms, Jamie stiffened laying against Eddie's chest. The soft, haunting melody worked it's way into Jamie's brain and slow slipped around his frozen heart. After a few verses, a quiet sob escaped and Eddie smiled, she was finally breaking through. Happy with her progress, Eddie leaned down singing in his ear while rubbing his arms slowly, her touch was present and healing. The emotion of Eddie's song brought another sob from Jamie, then another and another as his tough shell finally cracked. Jamie's body shook pressing into Eddie as he finally started to cry.

Eddie wasn't sure how long Jamie cried, it didn't matter, he was letting it out. When the spasms and sobs finally slowed, Eddie whispered gently, "Tell me Jamie…tell me what is in your heart."

Jamie took a long shaky breath and sat up, "Am I hurting you?"

"No," Eddie replied. "Lie back down, catch your breath and just…"

Jamie smiled and settled back down, his head on her legs supported by his arms. "It was the worst call I have ever had…"

Slowly Jamie explained breaking in the door, finding Sarah and her baby on the floor and all he tried to do while the waited for the bus. "I don't know what got me to think I could make that baby live. I thought if I held her close enough, made her warm enough…"

"It's hard to accept helplessness," Eddie replied. "Especially for you, you always work so hard, try so hard."

"She was so small, so small her skin was see through, you know? Nothing I did but I just felt…"

Eddie didn't have to say anything, she leaned over and peppered the side of Jamie's head with kisses. He knew that she knew, that she understood.

They sat in a relaxed silence for a long time before Eddie began to prompt Jamie to move. "You're pretty messy, how do you feel about showering before we go to bed? I know you won't be able to take any food but maybe a warm shower, some water…and we can go to bed and hold onto each other."

Jamie nodded and sat up stretching his stiff muscles. Eddie worked herself into her wheelchair and drove towards the bathroom. As they passed the full length mirror in the hallway, Jamie finally got a look at himself. There was blood caked in his hair, on his uniform, all over his hands and even his face. He was in desperate need of a shower. "Let me get you in bed first then…"

"No," Eddie shook her head. "No, you have your shower and I'll be right here. I'm not leaving you alone just now. Go on and get in there, I'm right outside…"

Jamie didn't argue. The truth was he needed and wanted Eddie to be close to him. Jamie turned on the hot water and stood under the spray letting it wash away the visible signs of the traumatic tour he endured that day. It would be a long time before he would get those images out of his mind, but getting it off his body was a first step.

All the while Jamie was showering Eddie was talking to him softly. There was no substance to her words, but the sound of her voice was calming and healing, wrapping Jamie's heart in a blanket of love.

While Jamie dried off, Eddie drove around the house commanding lights to go off and the alarm to set. She got a bottle of iced tea and a banana in case Jamie wanted to eat. Whenever they had a messy case like this one, Jamie would only eat small things, if he needed something it would be there.

Jamie stepped out of the bathroom as Eddie was easing herself into bed. Normally she didn't do self transfers like this but tonight Jamie needed things to be simple and this was one thing she could give.

"Wow, look at you," Jamie smiled as he slid under the covers in a pair of sleep shorts. "You need me to fix you or do your bag?"

"My bag is fine and just put my legs on the wedge otherwise, I'm fine, I'm healthy…"

Jamie smiled, "You are…" Jamie put Eddie's legs on her wedge and laid down beside her pulling her close to him. "I never want to go through something like that again. I know the job has gore and blood and violence but what happened there…"

"I know," Eddie replied. "Marcus told me, you don't have to talk about it honey, unless you want to talk about it. Just know that I love you, I'm here and if you need me for anything…I'm not going anywhere, Jamie. I'm not…"

Jamie moved closer and held Eddie as tight to his chest. She hit it on the head, it wasn't a woman name Sarah bleeding to death in his arms, it was his Eddie. It was his wife, his life, his heart that he watched die…that was the fear in his heart, that was a fear far too real for him to accept.

"I love you," Jamie whispered looking at Eddie trying his best to memorize her face.

"I love you," Eddie replied gently. "All through the night I'll be here…"

With that soft assurance, Jamie relaxed and gave in to sleep, while Eddie sat up fighting her own fatigue to keep her husband safe in the blanket of her love, all through the night.

A/N: The response to this story and to The Hardest Thing has been overwhelming and I'm so glad that so many are enjoying it. Thanks to you all. Jamie really took this call hard and it will continue to affect him as things go down the line.

Next Update – February 7th – Eddie receives a very special gift from Frank and Henry.