Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story. At all.
Warning: Shounen-ai, homosexual relationships, etc, etc.
Author's Note: Woohoo! Axel's Fables is now in a C2 (called Yaoi Galore). Thank you very much, Amaia-Sinblood, for placing this story in your C2.
Some Axel x Roxas fluff in this chapter, a little bit of friendship between Riku and Roxas, and the development of Axel's relationship with Naminé and Demyx.
Thanks for being patient everyone!
Summary: Axel thinks Aesop taught decent lessons in his fables, but the redhead is willing to bet he could do better. What good are fables that teach things like "attempt not impossibilities" or "little friends may prove great friends" anyway? Times are different from when Aesop lived and Axel thinks it's time for a new set of fables. All of which will be authored by himself, of course, because he's an expert on love, life, and what truly matters.
That, and Roxas Badcock promised to marry him if he gets his book published.
Axel's Fables
•••
•••
By: Freekiwi
IV – He Dates, He Parties, He Cheats, He Draws
He was falling.
He knew it was just a dream, but he couldn't wake up and he was falling from the sky. They were always vivid and usually infrequent, but tonight he was tossing and turning in his sleep and he couldn't wake himself from his dreams.
He never hit the ground. He landed on the wing of a plane and he could see the passengers through the windows. He could see his mom. He could see her doing her crossword puzzle and he could see her reach up and adjust the air vent above her. He wanted to reach out, he wanted to touch her, but he didn't want to let go of the wing. And he knew it was a dream. A cruel, cruel dream.
"Roxy?" she waved to him from the window of the plane, "What are you doing out there? Come inside…"
And so he did.
He crawled along the wing of the plane and slipped through the window. He took a seat next to her and she looked at him with adoration and love. She looked exactly as he remembered her and when he reached out to touch her, her skin felt soft. When she smiled at him, he was reminded of Naminé and when she reached out to cup his cheek lovingly, he was reminded of Sora. Her hair was auburn, like Kairi's. Her eyes were a deep, deep blue. She was beautiful. She had always been beautiful.
"Where are you going?" he was staring at her. He knew this was a dream, but waking up meant he wouldn't be with her anymore. He knew it was a dream and he knew this wouldn't last. "Why are you going?"
"Sometimes grown-ups have to leave," she folded her crossword puzzle up and stuffed it under her seat. She then reached over and buckled Roxas's seatbelt for him. "Sometimes grown-ups have to leave even when they don't want to."
Turbulence rocked the plane and Roxas gripped the arms of his seat. He watched his mother buckle her own seatbelt and just as he heard the click, the 'fasten seatbelt' light came on above them.
"No one is making you go…" He was panicked and he was breathing quickly.
"No…" She seemed very content, "I suppose not, but I'd like to keep my job…" She smiled at her son and then brushed a bit of blond hair from his face. More turbulence rocked the plane.
"But what about us?" Roxas looked up at her, "What about me?" he asked very, very quietly.
"Roxy…" she cooed. "You know I'm coming back. You know I'd never leave you…" He felt her soft, long fingers run through his hair. "You know I love you. You know I'd never leave you."
"The plane's going to crash." Roxas gripped the arms of his seat as the plane went into a nosedive. His feet pressed against the floor and his heart felt as if it were going to burst from his chest. "Mom, the plane's going to crash…"
"I know, Roxy…"
The oxygen masks were released from their compartments. Very quickly she reached up and began to apply Roxas's mask to his face. He struggled against her, but she was forceful and once it was over his mouth and he breathed deep, he felt better. He knew this was a dream, but that didn't make this any less painful. His stomach was lurching. His heart felt as if it was going to explode.
She didn't apply her own mask. Instead, she pulled out her crossword and began to fill in the little boxes. Out of fear and panic, he didn't reach up to help her. He was confused and he felt like he was suffocating. The oxygen bag was inflating, but he felt like he was suffocating.
"You were always my favorite," she crossed her legs and smiled warmly at Roxas.
They had to be close to crashing. They had to be close to the ground. He squeezed his eyes shut and he gripped the arms of the chair. He was going to suffocate and his mother was going to die.
He was falling all over again. His surroundings melted away and he was falling all over again. It was a slow, easy kind of fall and he wondered, briefly, if maybe death was something like this. He could breathe again, but not well. The panic and fear in his chest had been replaced by sadness and he felt guilty for leaving his mother behind in the plane. Even if this was just a stupid dream, he felt so incredibly guilty.
"You're okay…"
Arms – just two arms – snaked their way around his body and he was being pulled out of his fall. The darkness around him faded and he was in his room surrounded by all of his mother's stuff. He was in his room and he was being held very, very tightly by someone who smelled something close to fire.
"You're okay now…"
Someone whose voice soothed all his worries. A voice that caused the sadness and guilt to float easily from his chest. Soft, long fingers ran through his hair. Fingers that felt suspiciously like his mother's, but he knew better. She was gone. Even in his dream, she was gone.
"Axel…" Roxas was clutching at the redhead, gripping him and burying his face against his chest. He was shaking, but he wasn't crying. He wasn't angry. He wasn't… He wasn't anything. He felt safe, though. And he felt warm.
"It's okay… You're okay, Roxy…" He gently ran a hand down his back, "I've got you."
Roxy… That special name that his mother had made up for him. That little nickname that had always set him apart from his brother and sisters. The same name that so easily rolled off Axel's tongue without provocation. A name that Roxas had never, ever uttered to the redhead, but a name Axel just instinctively knew.
His eyes fell closed and he knew this was a dream. He knew this was a dream, but that didn't make him feel any less close to the redhead. It was all a dream, vivid and frightening, but it wasn't real.
He awoke with a start.
He was sweaty and he was breathing heavily and he was shaking the slightest bit. He sat up in bed and he looked around the room for something, but he wasn't sure what. He could hear Sora's soft snores beside him and when his eyes found the digital clock, he saw it was only six in the morning. He had only gotten to bed around midnight, but he was wide awake and he knew he couldn't go back to sleep.
He pulled the blankets and sheets off and left his bedroom. He crept quietly through the living room because Naminé and Kairi were sleeping on the pull out together and then he tip-toed up the steps to the upper floor of the duplex and entered the second story living room. It was dark in their living area aside from the smallest bit of light coming in through the windows. It was at least another hour or so before sunrise, but the sky was already taking a lighter tint.
Roxas quietly closed the door behind himself and he walked toward the redhead's door. He hesitated before he turned the knob. He was afraid. He and Axel had barely spoken since the pool incident. The redhead was either with Demyx or just plainly not around the duplex. According to Riku, Axel had started working again (he held some weird job that he never gave an apt description for) and the redhead and Demyx had also become somewhat serious.
Roxas didn't believe they were dating. He'd have to hear it straight from Axel before he believed it.
"Don't bother," Riku said quietly as he walked toward the blond.
"What? Why?" Roxas asked.
"Axel isn't around. I think he slept over at Demyx's house. They have their first class together…"
Hurt spread through his chest and he felt momentarily ill. Sadly, he released the knob and he looked away from Riku. He was embarrassed. He didn't know why, but he felt stupid and he felt hurt and he felt very, very lonely. His dream had left him feeling… Feeling like maybe he needed some comfort.
And he was hoping to get it from Axel, even if they weren't exactly talking.
But Roxas should've known better. They started school today. Naminé and Kairi were still staying with them at the duplex because they were reluctant to move back into their old dorm room. Both girls found they rather liked the antics in the duplex and they both found themselves very taken with Axel. It was also nice being so close to their brothers again.
"What's wrong?" Riku whispered to him.
"Nothing…" he lied.
Riku knew he was going against his better judgment, especially because he wanted to be with Sora, but Roxas looked sad and Riku couldn't help himself. Why did they have to look so alike? Why in the world did he have such a soft heart when it came to both of them?
"You can talk to me…" Riku placed a hand on his shoulder, "If you want, I mean… You look upset."
Roxas looked away, "Yea…"
"You wanna talk about it?"
The blond mulled this over for a moment before nodding. "Yea… Yea I do…"
Silently, they both made their way over to the balcony. Riku opened the door and Roxas stepped outside. It was surprisingly chill for how hot September was turning out to be. He wrapped his arms around himself and he heard Riku mumble something about it being cold.
"Want to go up to the roof?"
It was a question that didn't need an answer. Riku knew Roxas liked heights.
They ambled their way over to the far side of the balcony and Riku gripped the metal ladder and began to climb up. Roxas followed behind him and once they were on the roof, they made their way to the very top and sat. The blond hadn't been up to the roof since Axel and Riku had moved in. He used to come up and watch the sunset with Sora. They used to share sea salt ice cream popsicles and they used to spend a lot of time together.
"What's wrong?" Riku looked out toward the sky. "Why are you up so early?"
"Could ask you the same thing…" Roxas looked at the ground below them and wondered how badly he'd get hurt if he slipped off the top. He reached into the pocket of his pajama pants and pulled out his cigarettes and lighter. His cigarettes were somewhat crushed because he had forgotten to remove them last night before he went to sleep.
"I have class at eight…" Riku shrugged, "thought I'd get up and relax for a while."
He pulled out a cigarette that didn't look too smashed up and he lit it. He inhaled the smoke and then blew it out through his nose.
"What did you do when your mom died?" Roxas sighed softly. He had an unreadable expression on his face. A look that would probably prompt Axel into calling him 'zombie.'
"I did a happy dance." Riku smiled in a sad kind of way.
"Wow… Harsh," the blond licked his lips and took another hit from his cigarette.
"I cried later…" he shrugged, "But… But it was different for me… I was happy when she died because my dad manipulated me into hating her."
Roxas glanced at Riku briefly, "Weren't you like… thirteen when she died?"
"Twelve," he corrected, "way too young to understand what was going on."
Roxas inhaled deeply, eyes fluttering closed for a brief moment.
Riku sighed. He didn't really want to talk about his parents. He had emancipated himself when he was fifteen after he discovered his mother was beaten to death by his father. His father barely laid a hand on Riku, but he had consistently used him and toyed with him. He was pretty sure his father could take home the Olympic gold if there was a tournament for emotional abuse.
"Why do you ask?" Riku questioned.
"I don't know… I had a dream about my mom…" He exhaled a little smoke and then squished the butt of his cigarette against the roof top. "I dreamt I was on the plane with her when it crashed…" He lit up another cigarette and inhaled. "And I dreamt she didn't try to protect herself when the plane was going down. I dreamt she put my oxygen mask on and then never bothered to put her own on…"
Riku watched Roxas curiously.
"I thought I was going to suffocate…" He looked at his cigarette. "Even though the stupid bag was inflating in my dream…"
Riku laughed. "I remember when your mom died. It was… what… Three years ago?"
"Yep…" Roxas tapped the end of his cigarette and watched the ashes fall. "Three years ago… It was only six months after you and Sora had that whole… fall out…"
"The fall out you had nothing to do with?" Riku asked somewhat accusingly.
The blond puffed his cigarette and shrugged.
They were silent for a while. Chirping birds could be heard in the distance.
"How come you never told anyone that I came onto you?" Roxas stared ahead with an impassive look, "You really let me slide… You took all the blame. Bet Sora and you would've stayed together if you told him the truth…"
Riku mulled this over. It was true… When he and Roxas were finally caught, he had told Sora it wasn't his brother's fault. Riku had purposefully shouldered all the blame to keep Sora and Roxas from hating each other.
"I guess… I guess because I really, really loved Sora…" he looked over at Roxas.
"Then why not tell him the truth?" The blond crushed out his second cigarette and flicked the butt onto the ground below.
"Because I know Sora. I know how devastated he'd be if he knew it was you who fucked him over – not me." Riku sighed gently, "Besides, I liked you. I didn't want to see you get hurt…"
Roxas looked away and he didn't say anything. The sun was starting to rise. The chill of the morning was starting to lift slightly and it was beginning to look less and less like night.
"We never loved each other, huh?" He opened his packet of cigarettes and counted how many had been crushed.
"No," Riku smiled slightly, "I liked you better when you weren't so moody and cold though…"
"I was always moody and cold," Roxas replied frostily.
"Really, really occasionally. But you used to be sweet and gentle… You and Sora had nearly the exact same personality. I think that's why I gave in when you pushed yourself on me. I already had Sora, so why not have his replica, too?"
"His replica?" Roxas questioned bitterly. "I'm my own person, asshole."
"Not to me," he looked at the blond and reached out to gently touch his arm. "You were Sora with blond hair… You were Sora without the big, goofy grin. The only thing better than having one Sora was having two Soras."
"Thanks," Roxas swatted his hand away, "it's good know I was just a lesser version of my stupid fucking brother."
"Well, you're not anymore," Riku looked away from Roxas and out toward the rising sun. "You couldn't be any less like him now."
His cheeks burned from slight embarrassment and he couldn't argue. He wasn't anything like Sora anymore. He was so far from any of his siblings. He was moody and he was always brooding, he had forgotten how to be sweet, compassionate, gentle… He had forgotten how to be like his mother.
"You're kind of an asshole now." Riku had a slight smirk on his features and he laughed when Roxas playfully punched his arm.
"I can be sweet!" he glared.
"Hey – I already know that…" he smiled at Roxas. "It's just everyone who didn't know you before your mom died."
"Oh, like who?" His glare intensified, "You mean Axel?"
"You're the one throwing out names…" Riku teased.
Roxas looked away from Riku and down at the ground. The sun was peaking just over the horizon and the night was melting into day. Some birds chirped in the distance and from far away, they could hear the sound of the city rumbling to life.
"I don't get it," Roxas mumbled after a while. "All the shit life has thrown at you and you're not even miffed."
Riku laughed gently. "I guess… I guess I'm not just mad at the world, Roxas."
"But why?" he turned slightly toward the older boy. "The world fucked you! And not in the good 'legs-to-jelly' kind of way! Your mom died, your dad was a douche, and you and Sora are probably never getting back together and you're just okay with all of that?"
He stared at Roxas with a slightly amused look. "No. Not really. But would being angry change any of that? Life is a fifty-fifty, Roxas. Fifty percent is all the shit you can't control and the other fifty percent is how you react to all the shit you can't control."
He looked at Riku as if he was stupid, "That's stupid! That's like… letting life walk all over you!"
Riku looked away from Roxas. He stood up and stretched his torso, "But it's not. I lament about the past, but I'm not angry about it… Being angry is letting life walk all over you. Anger holds you back… You're so busy being angry, Roxas, that you won't give Axel, or anyone, a chance. You're so mad that your mom is gone that you've closed yourself off…"
Roxas was silent for a long time. He hated knowing Riku was right and he hated that Riku had him pegged. Roxas was closed off. All of his anger had made him emotionally unavailable and it was greatly harming all of his relationships – with his siblings, his dad, Axel… Roxas could barely keep friends because he was convinced that if he opened up to people, he would just get hurt.
"Riku?" Roxas looked up at the older boy.
"Hm?"
"I'm really sorry I wrecked your relationship. I know Sora still loves you."
Riku looked away, "You sure about that?"
Roxas nodded, "He stole a shirt from your laundry basket a week ago and he wears it to bed every night."
A blush spread across his pale cheeks and he had to turn away from Roxas to hide the large smile that had spread across his features.
So that was where his favorite shirt had gone off to.
••••••••••••••
Summertime had lulled Roxas into thinking he actually enjoyed school. He did, to some extent, but his first day back at classes reminded him how much he loathed school sometimes. He had packed his classes together so his schedule would be easier to handle, but after three hours of back-to-back classes, he was beginning to feel rather bored. First days were boring to begin with, especially when his teachers insisted on reading their syllabi aloud.
He made his way back to the duplex around two because he hoped to see Axel, but the redhead was absent again. His lack of presence in the duplex had definitely made the humble abode seem much quieter, but Roxas missed the noise. He missed Axel and he wanted to talk to him. The few times Roxas had seen Axel in passing, the redhead would wave and smile and his surliness about the pool incident seemed to have lifted considerably.
Roxas had slipped a written apology under the redhead's door a few nights after everything happened and because Axel seemed to be in good spirits Roxas figured the pool incident had little to do with the redhead's consistent nonappearance within the duplex.
A sigh parted his lips as he walked up the steps toward the upper portion of the duplex. He didn't knock before he entered and Riku didn't seem to mind when Roxas strolled in, walked into Axel's bedroom, and quietly closed the door. The redhead's room was strangely clean. He could actually see the floor and he felt somewhat bothered.
It didn't feel like Axel's space anymore. It felt like space that had been tampered with.
Tiredly, he walked over to Axel's bed and frowned when he saw it was made. When was the last time the redhead even slept here? When was the last time he ate dinner here or bathed here or did anything in the duplex at all? It didn't feel nice knowing that Axel wasn't around because of Demyx. He kept hearing they were dating, but he didn't want to believe it.
Roxas laid face down on Axel's bed and breathed deeply. He felt the cold air from the AC vent blowing on his legs and he quickly covered himself with his duplex-mate's red blanket. It didn't take him long to fall asleep. He didn't even remember trying to fall asleep, but he supposed that's what exhaustion did to a person.
When he awoke, hours later, there was someone lying next to him and the room was dark because the sun had gone down a long time ago. At first, Roxas assumed it was Axel, but when he rolled over and wrapped an arm around the figure the scent of someone else filled his nostrils. He recoiled, somewhat disgusted, and then he slipped over the figure and out of Axel's bed. A chill shot down his spine and he reached up and wiped at his nose.
Whoever was in Axel's bed smelled like women's perfume, liquor, and pot and Roxas decided to leave the room before the creeper in Axel's bed woke up. He felt his way around the dark room until he reached the handle of the door. He turned the knob and recoiled slightly when he saw the trashed living area and people who were crashing on the couch, the pool table, the floor… His tenants had taken it upon themselves to throw a party and Roxas felt agitation growing in his chest. He didn't mind parties, but he did mind passed-out, overly sexed young adults.
Skillfully, he waded through the people on the floor and made his way over to the balcony. The door was pushed open and he stepped out into the chill night air. Nobody seemed to be out on the balcony and Roxas couldn't blame them. The September heat had lifted and cold weather had begun to frost over the remnants of summer.
"Roxy…"
He was annoyed, but the nickname left him feeling warm. Only two people consistently called him Roxas and that had been his mother and now Axel. Occasionally his siblings would, but it was a rare occurrence.
"Hey, c'mere…" Axel slurred. He was lying sideways on the hammock on the farthest corner of the balcony. His feet touched the ground and he was swaying gently.
Hesitantly, Roxas made his way over. He didn't have to see Axel's glazed-over expression to know he was somewhat intoxicated.
"What?" he stood next to the hammock and crossed his arms. "There's some creep sleeping in your bed."
"What are you talking about?" Axel questioned. He was gazing upward at the stars and moon and he didn't look over at Roxas. "The creep in my bed is standing right next to me," he teased.
Blue eyes narrowed and he glared coldly at Axel, "So… who approved your request to have a party?"
The redhead ignored him, "Demyx was pretty pissed when he saw you in my bed. Think he would've given me the third degree if Zexion hadn't caused such a problem a few days ago…"
Roxas frowned, "What are you talking about?"
Axel stood, somewhat unsteadily, from the hammock. He slipped his hand into the blonde's own and stared at him intently. "Dance with me."
It wasn't a request. It was a command. And before Roxas could say no or pull away, Axel had wrapped an arm around his waist and was pulling him along the floor of the balcony. For someone who was somewhat intoxicated, Axel was surprisingly steady. He led their dance with ease and though Roxas struggled at first, he slowly melted into the redhead and just let it happen.
"Surprised you slept through it…" Axel mumbled after a few minutes. Their dance had died down into a slow sway that was really just a prolonged hug. Roxas gripped the older boy tightly and he found himself momentarily surprised when he realized Axel was gripping him just as tightly.
"The party?" Roxas mumbled against Axel's chest.
"It was loud as hell… Riku told me you were tired, though… Said you had gotten up early."
A frown creased his features and he wondered how much Riku had told Axel. Roxas had left out the part of his dream that involved Axel for that reason. They were best friends, weren't they? Surely Riku told Axel everything and vice versa.
"You can't throw parties here," Roxas looked up at Axel with slight dismay. "At least not during the week, Firecrotch."
"Yea, yea…" he said dismissively. "I got it. Zombies don't party. They're such buzz kills."
"I'm not a buzz kill."
"You're more of a buzz kill than cancer."
Roxas blushed and looked away from Axel, "Aren't you drunk? Aren't drunks supposed to be tired?" He didn't want to argue over whether or not he was a buzz kill. He knew the argument would not turn out in his favor and he hated that smug look Axel got when he knew he was right.
"I'm not drunk," the redhead yawned, "I'm tired, though. Let's go kick the creeper out of my bed and sleep…" He slipped from their embrace and, instead, grasped the younger boy's hand and led him inside. Axel didn't bother to wade through people; he plundered right through them and ignored the swearing or grumbles of pain when he kicked or stepped on someone.
He opened his bedroom door and yanked Roxas inside. Light was flicked on and the boy in Axel's bed stirred slightly.
"Out," the redhead walked over to his bed and grabbed the boy's arm. "Go find a comfy spot on the floor in the living room. Or go home. The latter, preferably…" He gave a yank and sent the young adult tumbling to the floor in a heap.
"Ungh…" the boy reached up and rubbed at his head. He got up, slowly, and mumbled 'dick' under his breath before skulking out of the redhead's room. The door was shut somewhat forcefully, but Axel ignored it. He knew the kid. Not well, but well enough to know that he wasn't ever getting any from anyone. Well enough to know that his bed wasn't infected with some kind of disease.
"You're… surprisingly together for someone who's drunk…" Roxas inspected Axel's bed.
"I'm not drunk," the redhead repeated. "I already said that. Maybe you're drunk…" He watched Roxas with some interest. "You don't need to play Scooby-Doo… No mystery, Zombie. The bed is fine."
"He smelled weird…" he frowned, "and what if he… I don't know… pissed himself or something on your bed? Do you wanna sleep in some weird guy's pee?" He finished his inspection of the bed and turned to look at Axel, "I promise I'm not drunk. I'm not the one throwing a party. Or drinking in the middle of the week. Or –"
"Yea, yea, Zombie…" Axel wrapped his arms around Roxas's waist, "Blah, blah, blah…Lecture me later…" He yanked the blonde down onto the bed with him and after some repositioning, Roxas found himself under the tall redhead. Axel was on all fours above him and he had swooped down to press soft, hot kisses to the pale skin of Roxas's neck.
"Hey, come on…" Roxas felt the hair on his arms rise, "A-Axel… stop…" He reached up and placed his hands on the redhead's shoulders. He wanted to feel like he had some control over the situation.
"Buzz kill," Axel's lips ghosted over his ear. "You sure I should stop?" He traced the shell of the younger boy's ear with his tongue. Roxas shuddered beneath him. His body was betraying him. Roxas was betraying himself. He liked Axel, but his resolve to despise the redhead was crumbling around him quickly. Axel's lips were soft, his tongue was warm, and he was on top of Roxas. Axel wanted Roxas and knowing this made Roxas feel thirty times less lonely and less sad and less hurt.
"A-aren't you dating someone?" He hated how weak his voice sounded. Part of it was Axel's skillful tongue tracing little patterns on his neck and the other part was that Roxas didn't really want an answer. He really didn't want to hear that Axel and Demyx were dating even though he knew they probably were. Denial was something Roxas could easily sink himself in.
"Maaaaybe," the redhead nipped the blonde's collar bone. "Wish I was dating you, though."
If he was teasing or not, Roxas couldn't tell. His cheeks had already heated to a considerable red color. He could feel the heat in his face and he was glad Axel wasn't lining his face with kisses. He was embarrassed and he didn't want the redhead to know.
"No, really…" Roxas put a little weight against Axel's shoulders. "Aren't you dating Demyx?" His throat betrayed him as the smallest of moans passed his moist lips. Axel was nipping the junction of flesh where his neck and shoulder met. It was a sensation that Roxas hadn't felt in a long time. It was the kind of pleasurable sensation that would make Roxas go against his better judgment. It was his weak spot and Axel had found it so easily.
"Mm…" his teeth grazed the area, "Your choice… I can answer your question or I can continue to tease you. Pick one."
Blue eyes narrowed and he gave Axel a cold look, "Don't play with me. I'm not a toy."
"I'm not playing," the redhead's lips ghosted his neck and shoulder, "I just want to know which is more important to you… Maybe I want to hear you say you want me…"
Cheeks flooded with color all over again and Roxas felt stupid. This was a somewhat difficult decision because he wanted both. He wanted Axel to say he and Demyx were dating. He wanted Axel to continue kissing him and nipping his flesh. But Roxas didn't want to admit that he wanted either because he didn't want to give Axel any kind of satisfaction. He didn't want the redhead to know how badly he wanted him and how jealous he was of Demyx.
"Tick-tock, Zombie…" Axel teased, "Want me to hum the Jeopardy theme?"
"You're drunk…" Roxas mumbled in a bad attempt at changing the subject.
"For the last time," Axel sat up on his knees and his green eyes met with blue ones. "I'm not drunk, Roxy. I don't get smashed at my own parties…"
"But your eyes are –"
"Rimmed red. Yea. I know. Maybe I don't sleep well. Maybe I haven't been sleeping well the past week. Maybe something in the air is bothering my eyes. Maybe I was lighting up earlier. Maybe my eyes get like that when I make eyes with my cute tenant from downstairs." Axel shrugged.
"… You're such a liar," Roxas tried to look away to hide his smile. "You're not making eyes with me."
"I'm trying to make babies with you, but you just won't have it," he teased, happy to finally bring the conversation back around.
"Whoa, whoa…" he looked up at Axel with some amusement, "You must have failed biology in high school, Firecrotch."
"No," Axel leaned down and kissed his lips briefly, "I just know my seed is so potent, it can impregnate anything."
"Sure, why not?" Roxas smiled, "Batman has money, Superman has super strength and flight, and you have the ability to be the father of baby giraffes."
"I like giraffes." Axel smiled and kissed him again, "I'd rather father a baby Akuroku though."
Roxas grimaced slightly, "That's a terrible name…" Fingers tangled in Axel's red hair, "Is that our kid? Akuroku? We're going to have a serious discussion about that later …" Roxas brought the older boy down and their lips met in a brief kiss.
Eyes locked, red-rimmed jade into vibrant blue, and then they were kissing. But these kisses weren't brief and polite. They were the kind of kisses where Roxas opened his mouth to let Axel's tongue explore. They were kisses that left Roxas feeling delirious and stupid and very, very hot. When he met the redhead's tongue, he felt a spark jolt through his entire being and it caused the hair on his neck to stand on end. When he felt Axel's hand slide under his shirt and explore his skin, Roxas wondered if the redhead's fingers were always so warm. His touch was like fire and in his wake he seemed to leave little embers that melted all of Roxas's feelings of loneliness and sorrow.
Their kisses became a little clumsy as Roxas worked Axel's shirt off. Every time they broke contact they immediately attempted to reconnect. They were desperate for each other. They were desperate for the other's contact. Roxas took in a sharp breath when he felt the redhead's lips on his neck again and Axel hissed softly when the blonde raked his fingernails roughly down his naked back. They were all heat, all passion, complete carnage.
"Are you going to have sex with me?" Roxas blurted stupidly. He was pulling at Axel's red locks nervously. His cheeks were flushed. He was hot. He wanted Axel. He knew it was against his better judgment but, God, he wanted Axel.
The redhead lifted his head from the blonde's neck, "No…" His voice was quiet. "I only conquer boys I don't wanna keep around…"
Roxas wasn't sure how to feel about that. Axel pressed a warm kiss to his cheek and Roxas melted against the redhead's every touch. He was reminded so deeply of his mother when he was around Axel. He had a soft, gentle touch like her. He had the same kind of disarming charm that his mother had once had.
"I care about you too much to just do it with you…" Axel nipped his exposed earlobe. "Don't get me wrong… I'd really like to, but some boys are worth waiting for…"
"W-what about Demyx?" Roxas asked quietly.
The redhead buried his face against the blonde's neck and mumbled "what about him?" Guilt seemed to lace his words, but Roxas figured maybe he was just imagining it.
"I… I don't know… Haven't you guys…" he paused and ran his fingers through Axel's hair, "uh… consummated your relationship?"
The older boy lifted his head and gave Roxas a look, "Have we fucked?" He raised a brow, "No. We haven't fucked. He's not a slut, you know…"
The blond rolled his eyes, "Then why is he with you?"
Axel looked amused, "Why are you?"
Cheeks heated and he looked away from the redhead.
"You just inadvertently called yourself a slut…" Roxas could hear the grin on his tenant's features and his cheeks took on an even darker shade of red when Axel added, "If you're going to be a slut, I strongly suggest you be my slut."
"I thought Demyx already held that position?" He raised a brow and ignored the heat in his face. There was no use hiding it. Axel knew he was making Roxas blush and his attempts to hide it only seemed to be encouraging Axel to make him blush more.
"You can be his replacement."
"That's nice, Axel. You're such a good boyfriend."
"Ugh… Boyfriend…" the redhead shivered, "There's that word again. Wish everyone would stop saying it."
"Yea," Roxas gave Axel's shoulders a push and sat up, "how dare Demyx think you're his boyfriend. Have you informed him that he's mistaken or are you just going to sleep with him and then tell him?"
"Buzz kill…" The redhead rolled off Roxas and lay motionless next to him. The blond brought his knees up and placed his arms on top, eyes roving over Axel's body.
"If you don't like him, why are you with him?" A frown creased his features and his eyes went from Axel's body to Axel's room. He noted the easel in the corner, the tattered notebook on his desk, his mother's anthology of Aesop's fables…
"I like him." The redhead rolled on his side and watched Roxas curiously. "I don't mind being his boyfriend. It's just… Relationships are like fire. Sometimes they're spontaneous, sometimes they're planned. Sometimes you get burned, sometimes you do the burning. Sometimes you light a fire and you think it'll burn out quickly, like a match, but then it gets bigger and bigger and bigger until the flames trap you. Then you realize the only way to escape is to go through the flames themselves and you pray to God that you come out on the other end unscathed."
Roxas held an impassive look and they were silent for a long time. A gentle sigh passed his lips and then he smiled, just the slightest bit, because Axel sounded somewhat jaded. For all the shit he gave Roxas, he was just a little bit jaded too.
"Why are you so interested in me?" he after a few moments.
Axel sat up and looked at Roxas. He sighed and then placed a warm, soft kiss to the blonde's lips. Their foreheads were pressed together, their noses touching, and Roxas breathed deep the scent of fire… Something like a candle recently blown out or a match with no flame.
"I'm a relationship arsonist, Roxy. I light the match, I feed the flames, and then I burn the people involved." Their lips met briefly, "I've never been burned by my own fire. I've controlled every single relationship. But you?" Axel pulled away and lay down on his bed. His arms went behind his head and he sighed gently, "You're your own fire… You're unpredictable and dangerous and you're something I can't control. You'll probably burn me, Roxy, but I really wouldn't have it any other way…"
A sigh parted the blonde's lips and he lay down next to Axel. He mumbled 'masochist' under his breath before turning on his side and allowing the redhead to spoon with him.
Axel was right. Roxas was his own fire.
••••••••••••••
The Lion and his Lionesses
There once was a lion that had to make a very difficult decision regarding two very beautiful lionesses. One lioness wallowed and brooded frequently, but she could be very sweet and gentle. The other lioness was spontaneous and fun, but she was the kind of lioness that fell in love frequently and fell out of love often. So the lion chose the brooding lioness for he knew she would love him all his days. But she would not accept his love despite it being plainly obvious that she loved the lion just as much as the lion loved her. So the lion, tired of her games, chose the other lioness with a heavy heart. And the fun, spontaneous lioness was greatly enthralled with the lion, but eventually they grew apart and went their separate ways. The lion ended up alone without either lioness and he knew his misfortune was brought on by his impatience with the brooding lioness.
Moral: Love that requires waiting is a love worth waiting for.
"Sap."
"At least I can keep a boyfriend, Cheeseburger…"
"Hey, I could find some arm candy to hang off me. I just like my relationships to mean something…" Riku flipped through his roommate's tattered notebook and eyed the fables. "Does Roxas know about these yet?"
"No," Axel sat at his desk. He leaned back in his chair and watched as Riku's pretty eyes scanned a page in the notebook.
The Cat and the Mouse
A cat came upon a mouse and before it had a chance to attack, the mouse begged the cat to spare his life. Feeling lazy, the cat let the mouse go. The next day, the cat came upon the mouse again and, again, the mouse pleaded and begged the cat to spare his life. The cat, again feeling lazy, let the mouse go. The next four days, the cat came upon the mouse and the mouse continued to beg and plead and the cat continued to let the mouse go out of pure laziness. On the fifth day, the cat came upon the mouse and he told the mouse, "If I come upon you one more time, I'll disembowel you." And the mouse replied, "Because you have been lazy and let me live, I was able to direct all the mice I know into your home. It is not you who will disembowel me; it is us who will disembowel you."
Moral: Get your shit done in a timely manner or you'll get consumed by all the shit that builds up.
"You're not hoping to become the next Richard Scarry, are you?" Riku asked with a smile. "I don't remember the animals in the Best Storybook Ever swearing…"
"Think I'm gonna write a fable about circumcision…" Axel joked.
"Or how to give blow jobs," Riku offered helpfully.
The redhead opened his mouth to offer another idea, but the sound of Riku's phone ringing cut through their conversation. This was the fifth or sixth time his phone had gone off and each time Riku would check his phone, hit 'ignore,' and then pretend it hadn't even rang at all. This time proved no different.
"You never tell me anything, Cheeseburger…" Axel leaned back in his chair and stared up at the ceiling. It was around four in the afternoon. Both boys had finished their classes earlier in the day and they had already cleaned up from their party last night. Roxas had slipped from Axel's bed sometime before nine and the blonde's absence bothered him.
He remembered what Roxas had said… "I'm not going to be your fire within a fire, Axel. I don't even know if I'm going to be your fire at all…"
It wasn't like Axel had asked Roxas to be his other boyfriend. He hinted and insinuated but, then again, he was always hinting and insinuating; usually about sex.
"Axel."
"Huh?" The redhead looked over at Riku. "What?"
"I said, what do you mean?" He flipped to a new page in the tattered notebook, but his eyes did not scan the slanted writing.
"You never told me you dated Sora…" Axel shrugged, "And I don't know anything about your parents or… or your home life or anything. This might sound a little gay," both boys smirked, "but I thought I knew you before we moved in here… Now I feel like the only thing we have in common is each other."
"Sorry, Ashley. Maybe we can talk next time we paint each other's nails," Riku rolled his eyes and went back to scanning Axel's fables.
"I'm serious…" He reached out and placed his hand over the page his roommate was reading. "I tell you everything… Aren't we best friends?"
"Being best friends doesn't mean I have to delve all my secrets to you." Riku's eyes narrowed somewhat, "It just means when shit goes down I'm there for you."
"That's parents, Cheeseburger. Not best friends."
"I can have secrets," He sat up from his position on Axel's bed. "I'm entitled to have them…"
"But I don't keep secrets from you," the redhead frowned.
"That's your choice," Riku shook his head, "I never asked you to tell me everything. You just do."
"What if I had secrets?" Axel leaned forward in his chair and eyed Riku. "Wouldn't you want to know what they are?"
Riku shrugged. This infuriated Axel.
"Don't shrug at me! You would want to know!" the redhead shouted.
"I don't care," he slipped from his best friend's bed, "we have different definitions of what makes a friend a 'best friend.' I don't have to tell you anything."
"Is that what you said to Sora? You said 'you're my boyfriend. I can hide stuff from you if I want'?" Axel's brow furrowed and he knew he was stepping into a territory that didn't need to be stepped in. He knew this was a dangerous topic to approach with Riku, but he wanted to know.
Riku shifted uncomfortably and hesitated before answering, "Yea…" he sighed, "it's… it's not wrong to say it like that…"
Axel frowned and watched Riku slip from his bedroom silently.
••••••••••••••
"Kairi told meabout your fables…" Naminé sat back-to-back with Axel in the drawing room of the Music and Arts building. She was sitting upon a stool, leaning against the redhead, and drawing something in the sketchbook she always carried around. She sat somewhat slumped, like a small child, and her lips were slightly parted in concentration.
Axel, on the other hand, sat up straight and tall on his stool and he worked on his piece of canvas that sat against the wooden easel. He was using charcoal today. He had grown tired of paint because he found it to be somewhat unmanageable. He had also managed to misplace a package of unopened and expensive brushes.
"Did you read them?" He looked at his work on the canvas.
"Some…" Naminé leaned her head against Axel's back and tried to peek at his work, but he was too tall and she was too short. "Why did you pick a lion?" She spoke quietly despite the art room being empty. She seldom spoke when placed with any of her siblings, but by herself she could talk up a storm and Axel loved it.
"He's the king of the jungle…" he found himself smiling somewhat. "What's more majestic than a lion?"
"A dolphin," Naminé answered simply. "Or horses or doves…"
Axel laughed, "Dolphins aren't majestic… They commit suicide, you know…"
She sat up and turned to him, "No they don't!"
He looked at her over his shoulder, "Yes they do. They're also the only other animals to have sex for pleasure, like humans…" He smiled at her as she tried to decided whether or not he was lying. Slowly she turned back around and slumped against Axel. A sigh was breathed through her lips and he heard her pencil scratch against the paper.
"Are you really going to marry Roxas if your book gets published?" Naminé asked.
Axel paused. The charcoal he held in his hand was suspended, briefly, and then he let his arm drop. Jade eyes scanned his work on the canvas and then he peered at Naminé over his shoulder. She held her sketchbook close so he couldn't see what she was drawing. But this was how it always was. They got together once a week to draw and then before they left they showed each other what they had created.
This was only the third week they had done it. It was nearing the first of October and Axel was surprised at how fast September had flown by. He had been busy though, with school and Demyx and work… His relationship with Riku had become strained (whether or not this was his fault he wasn't sure. Riku had seemed very bad-tempered lately and he had been keeping very much to himself). His relationship with Roxas had also become strained.
Maybe not strained, but…
"I don't think he likes me…" Axel paused for a moment, "Well, no… I think he likes me. But I don't think he knows what to make of me, Nami…" Stupidly, he put his hand to his chin and smeared charcoal on his face. A sigh left his lips and he used his apron in an attempt to smear some of the blackness away.
"He's weary of you…" she mumbled, "I'd just see how it goes." Naminé sat up in her stool and placed her sketchbook on her lap. She leaned down and grabbed a jade colored pencil from the floor next to her seat. "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink."
Axel thought about this for a moment, "Aesop?" he asked.
She nodded and added, "You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think. That's Aesop too…"
The redhead laughed, "You can lead a boy to your bedroom, but his consent might be dubious…" he teased.
Naminé smiled, "Axel?"
"Hm?"
"Roxas…" she paused and thought for a moment, "Leave him alone."
"Huh?" he turned and looked at her. "What do you mean?"
"I mean leave him alone…" she said not unkindly. "Because… Because he's weary of you and I don't think trying to be his boyfriend is the right thing to do…" Naminé looked up from her drawing and she blushed lightly when she saw the look Axel was giving her. "Sorry, I… I…" she stammered, "I just want to help you. And I know Roxas. I think if you're his friend, just his friend, then your relationship won't be so push-and-pull. It won't be so… You're hugging one second and then ignoring each other the next. That's all…"
He sighed softly, "Yea…" His eyes glanced at his work on the canvas and then he stood. "I suppose it's not fair to Demyx either."
"No," Naminé frowned and watched as the redhead removed his apron. "It's not. You can't string them along."
Axel crossed the drawing room and placed his apron on an empty hook that jutted from the wall. He walked over to the sink and began washing the charcoal off his hands. The drawing room always seemed to humble him somewhat. He became much more serious and less playful when he entered and when he began to paint or draw or color he would become engrossed and very unlike himself. Not in a bad way, but in a way that was completely different from his flirtatious and charming nature.
"It's really pretty…"
The redhead looked over his shoulder and watched as Naminé's blue eyes scanned his piece of canvas. He dried his hands and walked over to her. Both of them looked at his work and Axel found himself feeling somewhat unsatisfied.
"It's not finished," Naminé looked up at him. "A phantom can't be cupping Roxas's cheek… A phantom can't put his hand on the small of my brother's back… Your anonymous man needs a head…"
The unsatisfied feeling in his chest lingered, but he smiled nonetheless. "The anonymous man will get a head when the time is right…"
"And then Roxas won't have his hands pressed against a naked torso? He'll have the same sultry look? The smallest hint of fear?" Her eyes were bright with delight and she laughed when Axel merely shrugged his shoulders.
"Show me what you drew…" He put his hand out and she hand him the sketchbook. "Page?"
"The last page. I drew it for you," she put her hands behind her back and watched Axel flip to the last page of her sketchbook. A smile cracked his hardened features and he found himself wholly taken with Naminé. "I wanted to make a cover for your book." She stood on her tip toes to eye the drawing with the redhead. "Because I know you'll get it published."
He laughed and touched the drawing with his fingers. Across the top she had written out Axel's Fables in very pretty, neat cursive and then along the middle and bottom she had sketched out everyone as an animal. Axel, in his lion form, adorned the middle of the page, his jade eyes and facial tattoos giving the lion a much fiercer look. Roxas, the lioness, perched upon a lonely rock in the distance behind Axel. Demyx, the second lioness, lay lazily on the jungle floor next to Roxas… Riku, in the form of a wolf, sat at Axel's right side, and Sora, drawn as a sheep, eyed the wolf tentatively. Kairi was placed on the left side of the drawing, depicted as a sly-eyed deer that seemed to see and know everything.
And then, the last of their group, Naminé, had drawn herself as the most tentative butterfly he had ever seen. She sat on Axel's tail, her wings wide and beautiful and it gave the picture a feeling of content. He had to look closely to see the design in the wings were actually letters. He had to look even closer to see that the letters spelled out a name.
"Badcock?" He raised a brow.
"Yep." She nodded.
"Why Badcock?" Axel's eyes didn't leave the drawing.
"Because soon you'll be a Badcock," Naminé stated.
He laughed, "This is great, Nami. I… I really like this."
"Keep it," she began to clean up her colored pencils from the floor. "Keep the whole book, Axel. I've drawn pictures for almost all the fables you've written."
He was touched by her actions and he found himself wondering if, at some point, Roxas used to be this sweet and kind.
Author's Note: Is that a weird place to end things? The last scene wasn't included originally but I added it in to help develop a different side to Axel as well as include Naminé (and her association with the fables). I figure it'd get pretty depressing writing a book for someone who's hot one second and cold the next, so I think Naminé's added interest helps push the idea forward. And it's kind of cute.
Thank you, thank you, thank you to Loves Ironic Tragedy and Aindel S. Druida for beta-editing this story. I really super-duper appreciate it. You guys are great!
So… Yea. Time is trucking along, both in real life and this story. Next chapter will probably be somewhat Riku x Sora-centric. Zexion is bound to show up in the next chapter with Demyx and we'll take a spin around the block to see what Officer Leonhart is up to and what kind of mischief he's ticketing people for.
Look for another chapter before mid-August.
In the meantime you should also look for a (possible) new chapter story. I think it's going to be a very loose telling of My Fair Lady. It's a work in progress.
Thanks for reading and thanks for all the support.
Thank You for Reviewing:
Daydreamishly: You're always the first to review. Every time I see that I yell "FIRST" in my mind (because that seems to be an American thing to do… Scream "FIRST" when one is the first to post something on an open forum). Anyway – I appreciate your compliments. I'm trying to chop down my review responses because some of the lengths are getting ridiculous. I'm glad you liked Kairi and Nami's characterization. I always seem to make my female characters really bitchy without meaning to.
Khuronji: I can see him as bisexual. I do like him paired with Nami, but I really prefer him with Roxas. Maybe that's biased. Maybe not. I don't know many guys who say things like "he made me feel like I had a heart" when speaking of their male friends. Sometimes I see Roxas as Axel's one exception. That can happen, right?
Natcat5: I'm definitely trying to incorporate the past more. It gives Roxas some depth. I'm also using the fables as a way to push Axel's artistic, deeper side (because he needs depth too). I really don't see Axel getting too wound up in emotions when it comes to relationships. Like… He'd be never say, "let's have an intimate talk about how we feel." It'd be more like "uh… sorry I'm a douche. I bought you candy so… shut up and smile." That's cool with me.
Sana-chan9: I laughed at that too (which sounds lame because I wrote it in there). It's one of my favorite lines from The Wizard of Oz. My next favorite part is probably the "If I Only Had a Brain" song. Yea… Riku is kind of a douche. But I just see him as an arrogant smartass. Axel is less arrogant when it's not about guys, but Riku's just so… smug. About everything. Even when he's wrong, he's still kind of smug.
Noooo. His hand won't fall off. I just figure if Axel shoved him in the pool that close to the edge, he was bound to get hurt.
Keuraki-SoraXRiku: Hahaha. When I first read your review, I thought you said "you need ASS, and AWESOMENESS" and I was really confused (delighted, but confused). You're in luck for the next chapter. It's going to be somewhat RikuxSora-centric. I need to move them along (slow and steady wins the race, though, right? Thanks Aesop).
Hahaha. I've learned to NEVER google things that I suspect might be uhh… less than pleasant. I googled docking. That was disturbing. I googled English phrases I've seen in books and that can be somewhat shocking. I like how you say 'maths' because I haven't heard anyone say that in a long time. I don't know why they don't call it 'maths' in America. They say 'mathematics,' but then it's just 'math' in the shortened version. And a LOT of Americans think 'maths' is a spelling error (which is funny to me).
I'm glad you liked the story so much. The pool scene was hard to write. A lot of this chapter was hard to write. The fables actually came first in everything I had written (they're so easy to write. I originally thought it'd be tough thinking them out, but it's really not).
Kyrian: Oh… Wow… At the bottom of a pool? Were they… forcibly removed or were they just wiggly? Wiggly teeth aren't good. Unless you're under fourteen… Then that's probably all right (right? I don't know shit about kids these days…). Yea, I'm glad I took it out too. Now I can develop a relationship between Nami and Axel that isn't slathered in resentment and dislike.
TopHatGlow: Wait… Is shanking… Is that pulling someone's trousers down? I thought shanking was when you fashioned a knife out of soap (or other non-harmful object) and then stabbed someone with it, usually in a prison setting. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you're British and shanking means something totally different. I have no idea. But yea, either way, getting shanked sucks.
Yea… Axel is indirectly emotional. Cool with me. Direct lovey-dovey emotion annoys me (also called 'clinginess'). My writing and you may have this direct lovey-dovey emotion. That's cool with me (because I'm indirectly involved :D).
RennyWasHere: All my dreams involve me being somehow attacked by bugs. Or me trying to hide from bugs… or me killing bugs. I hate bugs. Hah… Soap opera music… I think Roxas has enough sense to knock on Axel's door when he knows Demyx is around. Though if he did catch them, I think he'd take that cake and shove it up someone's rear end (that… seems unpleasant, but not painful). Yay for obsessive-compulsive disorder! Just kidding. I obsessively check my e-mail for reviews.
Aindel S. Druida: I messaged you. Finally. I'm such a tool. I can't hold a thought longer than seven seconds. Good. I need two betas. I hate having to reread my work thousands of times and then realize I STILL missed things. Glaringly obvious, shameful things. Things a second-grader could pick up on. Can't wait for you to start beta-editing.
Sensory Overload: You're sweet. You know… Not everyone who reads this reviews it. I get e-mails everyday for 'Story Alerts' and 'Favorite Story' for Axel's Fables, but reviews not so much. Ah well. I appreciate the kids (adults?) that do review. A lot.
Wow. That's a lot of words. I'm glad I could captivate you (or help you waste a few hours of time. I'm pleased either way). I like bet-type stories too. I think they spice things up and make things interesting. Makes for an easy plotline too.
I chose "Badcock" because when I first came to America (one of the very first years I was here), I lived in North Carolina. I didn't know a ton of English. I knew enough to form the shittiest sentence you've ever heard. But I knew the word 'bad' and the word 'cock' (I knew all the dirty English words) and when my mom drove by 'Badcock Fabrics' I nearly wet myself. Because that was the funniest shit in the world to me. So now it's just stuck with me.
Riku's last name was taken from this girl who swam on my swim team. God, she was awful… But we all called her 'Cheeseburger,' which is probably why she was so awful. She absolutely hated it (but we all got a laugh out of it).
MoonLLotus: Yea… Drama makes for a good story. Everyone loves angst, smut, drama, and comedy. But you have to put it all together in a way where one doesn't overload the other. People will read straight angst, but they're more likely to read a compilation of all four things.
TonberryBlue: Tonberry… Like from Final Fantasy? I like Tonberries. Roxas is a bit of a mean kid. He doesn't try to be though. It's circumstance… Well, okay, it's SOMEWHAT circumstance. The rest is on him. He chooses to be a pooper sometimes. Yes! I wanted to show a sensitive part to Axel. I also wanted to add in there that he does truly like Roxas, he just… can't really express it openly (partly because of how Roxas acts). I really do see Axel as someone who floats about, hopping from relationship to relationship, and finding that things often just don't feel right. I don't see him so much as a man-whore (well, sometimes I do), but more like someone who gets labeled a man-whore because he's unable to settle because he can't find the right person. But, you know… I also figure Axel's philosophy is probably "when in Rome." So if he's dating someone, why not get a piece of their behind?
Yea, that's pretty much it. See? Already on your way to a new language (;D). Having no 'to be' verb is so awesome… I think most languages have a 'to be' though.
You know… It is kind of sexy. As sexy as a piece of writing can get. Harry Potter is kind of sexy. Potter himself. Not the book. :D