Chapter 4 Inner Turmoil

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, nothing is mine. Everything belongs to JKR

Warnings: Violence, adult language, slash-y elements (HD, naturally)

A/N: The heart of one certain white ferret now holds the power of death and life. A chapter in advance, enjoy! Thanks to Keir and my lovely readers and reviewers!

'You can't be serious, Potter.'

'Oh but I am. Are you calling me a liar?'

'Perhaps, perhaps. What are you going to do about it, huh?'

'I'll dump that bowl of water all over your perfectly shiny and clean fur you just groomed. I think that would suffice.'

'You're evil, Potter, plain evil. Well... I guess what you told can be true, then, after all. How very interesting. It positively kills me to say this, but there might be hope for you in the end. Congratulations.'

Harry just grinned at his fellow ferret, showing a mouthful of sharp teeth. He had just confined Draco and told him that he had almost been sorted to Slytherin. Only, he had spoken about that just because the blonde kept insisting Harry was the 'brainless dick of Gryffindor'. It wasn't, however, cruel and hurtful bickering anymore. The progressive change had been slow, prompted by the dog attack, but now the two ferrets no longer were constantly in each other's throats. They weren't the bestest of mates, naturally, since they were from the opposite ends of the words with a long past of vehement animosity, but a fresh air of companionship now resided in the cage. A truce, of sorts, had been called. Their ceaseless fighting had been reduced to slight squabbling not meant to really hurt. For instance, Draco no longer used the word 'Mudblood' and in turn, Harry didn't insult Draco's family.

With careful observation Hermione would have been extremely proud of, Harry had realized that even though the other boy detested his new life as a ferret, he still cared about his father. Not that he said that aloud, heaven forbid, but Harry could read between the lines. There was something fishy about Lucius, anyway, as he hadn't still obviously told anyone about the true identity of the black ferret residing with his son. Harry wasn't the one to complain, however, as he genuinely did not prefer the torturing chambers over the relatively comfortable cage. He was just bemused, utterly floored. Why did Lucius capture Harry if he didn't want to turn him over the Dark Lord? Harry doubted he just wanted someone to keep company for Draco. Perhaps Lucius was just bidding his time, sharing his information about the new resident when the right moment should come. Harry really hoped his rescue would arrive before that. He was fairly sure he wouldn't survive yet another encounter with Voldemort, all alone and without any kind of preparation or planning. Especially since Harry wasn't in possession of his beloved wand anymore – without it, he was basically helpless against the one of the most powerful wizards in Britain, as he hadn't even yet started his wandless training scheduled for his seventh year. He had had some basic Muggle combat training, courtesy of Moody, but Harry really doubted a karate kick to the groin would make Voldemort keel over. An interesting thought, however... Besides, Harry was still a ferret. A small, furry animal with no magical powers whatsoever. He could hardly sink his teeth into Voldemort's wand hand, gnaw at the wand until it was utterly destroyed and hope Voldemort wouldn't let that horrid and gigantic snake of his loose. Hell, Voldemort could kill him by simply stepping on him. A lovely image, that one. Harry could see the head lines already: "The Boy-Who-Scurried Killed By A Shoe".

'Why thank you for the kind words, Malfoy. I'm impressed, really.'

Draco chortled. 'You should be impressed. Malfoys are not kind to everyone, just to the few selected.'

'Should I be more impressed now?'

'Most definitely. I would most probably fall into deep depression should you not be overly impressed by my humble ways.'

Harry shook his head, amused. Malfoy could certainly be funny in his own way of using dry humour and sarcasm if he wanted. Harry had to look very carefully if he wanted to know whether the other ferret was for real of merely joking. Accustomed to socialising with open and often blatant Gryffindors, he was having a hard time getting used to the sneaky and surreptitious persona that was Draco Malfoy. 'You're a very peculiar person, Malfoy, I'll give you that. I wonder what would've happened if I had accepted your friendship in the beginning of first year.'

Harry had given a lot of thought to that, actually, during the last few days. Would Draco had been his first, real friend? Would he, Harry, be so close to the Weasleys and Hermione as he was now? Maybe Harry wouldn't have been sorted to Gryffindor, having seen that not all Slytherins were bad. Would he have been evil - for that, Harry already knew the answer. It was not the House that made a wizard or witch evil, it was the what they chose to do with their lives. It's our choices that define us, someone had told him. The world wasn't so black and white as many wanted to see. In any case, Harry was aware that you could go dark in every other Houses besides Slytherin, too. Pettigrew, for instance, had been a Gryffindor and he had been seduced by the power of the darkness.

Draco looked at him sourly. 'Yes... That incident. I was so mad at you after that, you know. No-one declines the friendship of a Malfoy. Well, except you, of course... Why did you turn me down, anyway? Did I have snoot on my nose, was that it?'

'No, you didn't have snoot on your nose, Malfoy.' Harry laughed quietly as that mental image flowed pass his eyes. 'It was just the way you acted.'

A confused expression spread over Draco's eyes as he cocked his head. 'The way I acted? I was being gracious and-'

Harry snorted. 'Gracious, you? Think again. The first time we saw -in Diagon Alley, you remember?- you acted so... so, eugh, haughtily. In addition, you insulted Hagrid, the first adult who treated me kindly. Can you imagine my feelings, I hadn't even heard about the magical world, and you asked me all these odd things and behaved so snottily? And in Hogwarts you go and insult my very first friend, Ron. The choice between you and Ron wasn't that hard at all.'

Draco narrowed his eyes suspiciously. 'You hadn't ever heard about the magical world before, back then? How is that even possible, you're a wizard for Merlin's sake!'

Harry hesitated, not really ready to spill out his whole heart. He was, after all, talking to Draco Malfoy of all people. 'I, er, I didn't know that I was a wizard before my letter came. Hagrid filled me in when he came and got me.'

Draco's eyes were now the size of saucers. 'You didn't know? What the hell, Potter! You were and are probably the most famous wizard, were you kept in the basement or something?'

'In a cupboard, actually.' Harry gave a sheepish smile as Draco's eyes budged even more. 'A long story, really. But the thing is that my family, if you can call them that, don't like wizards. My aunt and uncle, they despise the whole idea of magic, in fact. So, they chose to keep me in the dark, probably hoping I wouldn't turn out to be a freak like my mum.'

'You know... ' Draco said slowly, 'since your Muggle family is that horrible, how come you don't hate Muggles? I mean, if I had had those sort of guardians, I would've grown up hating and loathing them from the bottom of my heart.'

Harry tried to give a shrug. 'I hate them, the Dursleys, I really do, but I just don't care anymore. The Weasleys are more family to me than the Dursleys have ever been. But I know Muggles aren't all like that, there's just something wrong with my mum's sister and her family, that's all.'

The white ferret nodded tardily, but didn't pry anymore, and for that, Harry was grateful. He was more than happy to change the subject. 'So, how do you think the Quidditch matches are going at Hogwarts now that we're not there to play?'

Draco gave a toothy ferret-grin. 'I bet Slytherin is kicking Gryffindor's arse. To tell you the truth, your team is nothing without you. I wouldn't enjoy playing if you weren't on the opposite team.'

Harry frowned. 'First of all, there are excellent players in our team. And secondly, thanks. Playing against Slytherin is the best, I reckon, you give such good competition.'

A dreamy look crossed Draco's eyes. 'Oh, Quidditch... I really love that, you know. It would be really fascinating to play professional, actually. No Malfoy has ever played professionally.'

'No Malfoy has denounced the Dark Lord, either,' Harry said quietly.

Draco glanced at Harry sharply. There was a small silence. Harry knew Draco wanted to be on nobody's side, but the harsh division amidst the wizarding world was too great to be successfully neutral. For most of the people, between the black and white, there was no room for grey. However, Harry was confident that Draco would do the right thing in the end. He was just a little apprehensive at how the side of light would deal with a Malfoy among them. Apparently, he wasn't the only one. 'Tell me the truth Potter, no dilly-dallying... Should we get rescued, how can I survive? I'm a Malfoy, a Slytherin, I can't blend in with the goody-two-shoes. On my opinion, both sides would be willing to see me dead now.'

Harry noticed the slightly bitter tone and shuffled closer, butting his nose against Draco's. 'Don't worry, Malfoy. I'll vouch for you. There are plenty of safe houses around if the need arises, Dumbledore will see that you are protected and well. He's always believed in second chances. And about Slytherins... Well, you aren't the only snake on my side of the war.'

'What?' Draco asked suspiciously, staring at Harry through narrowed eyes. 'Who?'

'I don't know if I should be telling you this but... ' Harry paused. It wouldn't harm anyone, right? Draco would keep his mouth shut, he was smart enough. 'It's Snape.'

'Snape?' Draco's voice was incredulous. 'You can't be serious. The man is a Death Eater to the bone, I've seen him discussing business with father.'

Harry shook his head slightly, wondering how many really thought like that. 'He's a spy for Dumbledore. Has been for ages, since Voldemort killed my parents. Some of the few ones who know about it think he may be a double-agent, working for Voldemort for real, too, but I trust him. He's an evil git but his true loyalties lie with Dumbledore. He's even saved my life several times.'

Draco nearly had to sit down on his haunches from surprise. 'Merlin. I didn't see that coming. I mean, we're talking about Snape here... The epitome of darkness. Bloody hell.'

Harry chuckled shortly. He could understand Draco's bafflement even though he was a little surprised, too – he had always thought that Snape and Draco were pretty close, the older man being the Head of Slytherin and all. Apparently, not even his own students were able to see through the carefully constructed façade Snape was portraying. 'Well, yes, that was my reaction, too. But yeah, he's on my side. Our side. I've been hoping to see him here but so far, there has been no sight of him... If he knew I - and you - were here, he'd surely notify the Order.'

'The Order?' Draco was getting on his feet again, his whiskers quivering. 'I've heard you mentioning that a few times. Is that the secret society thingy opposing the Dark Lord?'

'Yeah, the Order of the Phoenix. Dumbledore founded it when Voldemort started his first reign of terror.' Harry was a bit dumbfounded at how he trusted Draco enough to tell him about these things. Somehow, there was a feeling in Harry's gut assuring the blonde wouldn't go running to the dark side to spill all the secrets. Harry hoped his intuitive feelings would hold.

'Are you a member?'

'A sort of member, I guess. I mean, I'm too young to be an active member and such, but since I'm who I am, I know lots of what's going on around the Order.'

Draco succeeded in forming a smirk again. 'A junior member, eh?'

'I suppose, yeah.' Harry laughed softly. 'I think the Headquarters is one of the safest places in Britain, perhaps Dumbledore will place you there after school and during breaks. It's nothing like your Malfoy Manor, I imagine, however. What is it like? Your home?'

The faintly dreamy look entered Draco's eyes again. 'It's beautiful, simply beautiful. The largest and most exquisite mansion I've ever set my eyes upon. When the sun sets, it looks like it's glowing. The gardens surrounding it are magnificent, full of exotic flowers and glorious fountains made of radiating marble.' The white ferret's head dropped a little. 'I was supposed to have it when I reach the age of adulthood, I am the only Malfoy heir after all. But with this... I don't think so. I'm surprised I'm not disowned yet, but the day will surely come. And after that, I have no right to the manor and other Malfoy heirlooms.'

Draco looked so momentarily sombre Harry couldn't resist; he gently rubbed his cheek against the other ferret's. 'Maybe your father won't disown you, you never know. You are, after all, the only heir, just like you said. Would your father want all the Malfoy property going to the Ministry after his death? I don't think so. And if it's about money, don't worry. I'll have plenty since I have all the Potter and the Black vaults, I have no problems with sharing it.'

'It's not about the money, I have my own separate, untouchable vault.' Harry could sense Draco smiling feebly inside his mind and the ferret's lips twitched a little. 'But thanks, anyway. I appreciate it.'

'Sure.' Harry rested his head against Draco's warm neck. For some reason, it felt solacing and not all that weird. Neither moved for a while, finding consolation from the soothing proximity. Harry wondered if Draco would even take his money if it came to it. Draco was a very proud and independent person, it would probably kill him if he had to sink so low. Not being able to maintain his usual life style... Harry was sure it would shatter the other boy. With a start, Harry realised that he actually truly cared what would happen to Draco afterwards. It scared him, the way he had grown so quickly attached to his former enemy. What if, despite everything that had happened, Draco would turn against him in the end? He didn't really know him that well, in the long run. Harry imagined Draco wearing glistering, black robes and that sinister mask, his lips curving into a malicious smirk once more, wand rising to cast a vicious curse. A shudder ran through Harry's body and he tried to push that image away, concentrating on the warmth Draco was offering instead. A day at the time. I'll worry about that when the time arrives.

The peace, nevertheless, did not last. Not long after, the dreadful interruption came in the form of Bellatrix Lestrange and her cruelly sneering face of pure malevolence.

"Your daddy isn't here now to protect you, littlest Malfoy," taunted the woman, an insane smile twisting her lips. Harry and Draco shared an alarmed look, both slowly retreating away from the Death Eater. Bellatrix flicked her dark wand in a threatening motion, clacking it loudly against the cage bars. "Scared, little Draco?"

Draco hissed, spit spraying from his mouth. Harry joined him, snarling at the offending wand resting against the bars. 'You wish, bitch.'

Bellatrix cackled at their response, lifting her wand. A mad gleam made her sunken eyes shine as she crouched closer, a look of glee and anticipation on her face. Harry felt suddenly very afraid. "You know, I've always wanted to know if the Imperius works with animals."

Harry felt his eyes widen and Draco stiffened beside him. Before they could do anything, however, Bellatrix levelled her wand and aimed carefully. "Imperio."

Harry jumped away, startled, as the sudden rush of magic hit Draco. Fearfully, Harry looked at the other ferret. Dread made his limbs feel exceptionally heavy as he witnessed the vacant eyes and the slouchy pose. This can't be happening, oh Merlin. 'Malfoy? Malfoy, can you hear me?'

Draco didn't answer, just stood there silently, staring straight ahead. Harry cursed the day Bellatrix had been born and moved closer, nudging the frozen ferret carefully. Bellatrix's next words, however, made him freeze as well. "Draco... kill the other ferret."

Harry nearly choked on his own tongue and swore his heart just stopped beating for a second. He watched with rapidly mounting panic as Draco slowly turned his head towards him, the silvery eyes empty and dead. 'Shit, Malfoy... Don't listen to her, you can beat this! You can beat this, Malfoy, don't let her win! You can -'

Harry was cut off as the white ferret suddenly lunged at him, teeth bared in a vicious snarl. The teeth sank into Harry's neck and Harry let out a pained yowl, struggling vigorously to shake Draco off. 'Malfoy! Don't do this! You're stronger than her -'

Draco didn't listen, attacking again. Now, a ferret isn't among the dangerous animals to be feared, and it could hardly do lots of damage to a human, but nevertheless, things were getting deadly in the cage as the two ferrets were forced to fight for their lives. Harry gasped for breath as they rolled around, Draco's teeth and claws painfully nipping him everywhere – his blood smeared Draco's white fur – but Harry couldn't fight back as violently. He just couldn't. Draco couldn't help it, he was under the Imperious curse – Harry let out a screech of pain as he was brutally slammed into the side of the cage, Draco's teeth ripping a piece of his ear away -

'Malfoy – Draco, please!' Harry panted now, bile rising in his throat as he vaguely heard the laughter just outside the cage. The black ferret had no time to recover:Draco suddenly got the upper hand and flipped Harry onto his back, thus exposing Harry's vulnerable throat and belly. With no hesitation, Draco buried his teeth deep into Harry's throat. Harry screamed, desperately trashing around in order to get away from the suffocating hold. The white ferret, however, sunk his claws in Harry's stomach and tightened his hold.

Starts exploded across Harry's rapidly blackening vision – he couldn't breath – and his struggle weakened. 'Draco... don't -'

I'm going to die, throttled to miserable death by a ferret, flashed in Harry's faltering mind and he would have laughed hysterically if he had had the air in his lungs to do that. The black ferret's movements became drowsy until they ceased to slight twitching and squirming – Harry, with his last strengths, looked up to stare at Draco with desperate yet droopy eyes. 'D-Draco...'

Just as Harry succumbed under the darkness, the white ferret pinning him to the ground flinched violently, blinking. The misty clouds floated away from the grey eyes and Draco shook, abruptly snapping his jaws apart as he broke the spell holding his mind captive. With growing horror, he stared at the battered ferret lying underneath him. He had done it. He was responsible, he was to blame – he hadn't been strong enough to stop the curse. 'No... '

Not paying any attention to the gleefully laughing Bellatrix, he jumped away and felt his blood freeze as Harry rolled onto his side like a dead weight, his stiff limbs sticking out. 'Oh Merlin, Potter – Potter, wake up – wake up -'

He poked Harry with his nose, willing him to get up -there was so much blood, the coppery scent made Draco feel nauseated- Draco's frantic eyes ran over Harry's ripped ear, the bleeding, deep scratches in the soft belly, the severe teeth marks decorating his grimy throat. 'What have I done...'

Draco didn't even notice Bellatrix, his tormentor, leave as he crouched low, trembling, listening to any signs of life. After a few agonizing seconds a rattled breath, though shallow, drew past Harry's lips and Draco almost sagged with relief. He wasn't dead... Yet. 'Potter, can you – can you hear me? Harry?'

Harry didn't move a muscle, just lay there and continued to scare the hell out of Draco. Draco swallowed, nearly vomiting as he tasted the lingering feeling of sticky blood in his mouth, then collected himself. Get a grip, Draco, he commanded fiercely. Get a grip. Draco shook himself mentally, then gently took hold of the loose skin in Harry's neck and pulled. Trying carefully not to injure Harry more, Draco dragged the other ferret's unresisting body slowly to Draco's cot. There. Is he cold? He's shivering, is he cold? Can ferrets have fever? Oh sweet Merlin...

With the help of his mouth and paws, Draco arranged Harry's fragile torso and his nerveless limbs with kid gloves, making him feel as comfortable as possible – he winced guiltily at that thought- and finally lay down beside him. He hesitantly curled his body around the unconsciously shivering ferret, offering his body warmth and solace. Harry twitched feebly, a weak mewl letting out. Draco's head shot up. 'Potter? Harry?'

The green orbs opened to reveal a groggy, clouded stare. 'M-Malfoy... ?'

'I'm here.' Draco swallowed. 'I'm here. Are you - does it hurt?'

Harry mewled again, his eyes shuttering close. 'Yeah... '

'I'm... I'm sorry, Potter. I'm sorry.'

'It's okay... wasn't your f-fault-'

With that, Harry fell silent again. His breathing was erratic and weak, but he was getting some oxygen into his lungs. Draco, not caring about the slowly drying blood spattered all over them, pressed closer to Harry, laying his head against Harry's small chest. The slow, frail thump of Harry's heart, the sign that Harry was alive, lulled Draco into exhausted and restless, nightmare-ridden daze-like sleep. 'I'm so sorry, Harry...'

He didn't see the pale face of one Lucius Malfoy peering in a moment later, staring at the grimy pair of ferrets with an unreadable expression, fiery fire suddenly blazing in his cold eyes before he quickly swept away.

BANG

Draco was startled awake as the loud bang of something vehemently exploding shattered the air.

BOOM

The cage rattled violently and Draco's heart leapt into his throat - what the hell? A repulsive stench of smoke suddenly reached his twitching nose and he grimaced, his head reeling pathetically from the abrupt wake-up call. A heavy weight was settled on his tail and Draco looked down, meeting with the miserable sight of one wounded ferret underneath him. Harry. Immediately, Draco scooped back down and frantically listened if there was a heart beat anymore -how long had he slept? How could have he slept, anyway? 'Harry, Harry, can you hear me? Potter?'

No verbal response, but Harry's closed eyelids twitched and the soothing, though slow, beat of Harry's heart reached Draco's ears. A loud explosion shook the cage again, forcing Draco to hastily strengthen his grip on the other ferret in order the prevent Harry's sudden fall from the cot. What in the Merlin's name was going on out there?

The cloth partially covering the cage had slipped away, enabling Draco to see better. He squinted – bright flashes of spells soared through the air everywhere, dark figures moving rapidly amidst the curses and hexes and smoke. Screams, furious yells and a series of smaller explosions hurt Draco's sensible ears, a part of the house behind the cage caught fire in one, great whoosh, the hungry flames growing higher and higher by the second. The only thought racing through Draco's frenzied mind in the massive haywire was what if they hurt Harry? The white ferret had no idea what was the battle raging outside the cage, who exactly were fighting against each other and why, but his sole purpose was now to make sure his fellow ferret wasn't injured more. It was the least he could do now.

With bared teeth, Draco practically lay on top of Harry's unconscious form as voices neared the cage all the sudden.

"There are two ferrets here, in a cage!" one of the loud voices shouted. "Snape was right!"

Two figures approached the cage quickly, towering threateningly over the ferrets. Draco hissed protectively, his burning mercury eyes glaring at them balefully.

"Look, there's the white ferret, the black one is underneath that – oh god, they're covered in blood -"

The hatch opened and Draco snarled ominously, snapping his razor-sharp teeth. "Hey, hey, calm down! Shit, Malfoy almost bit me!"

For a moment, Draco's wild eyes connected with sombre, apologetic amber eyes. "I'm sorry, Draco – stupefy!"

Draco was roused from his strained sleep by soft foot steps echoing in the distance. Groggily, and very much disoriented, he peeked through his pale lashes and groaned, feeling absolutely lethargic. A moment later, he blinked bemusedly, staring at the white, pristine ceiling above him. Wait a mo, his cage didn't have ceilings, did it? Draco reached a hand and scratched his nose in confusion - then he froze. Hand? The blonde gaped, shocked and floored to the core and nearly hyperventilating in his stupor.

"Easy there, Draco."

Draco gasped, extremely startled, and nearly fell from his cot at the sudden voice speaking. No, not a cot - a bed, real bed. Eyes wide, Draco looked up and saw a man in shabby robes sitting in a chair beside his bed. The man had greying, tawny hair and kind amber eyes, his expression gentle and concerned as he gazed the younger boy. "Good morning, Draco. It's good to see you awake."

Head spinning, Draco gaped at the man for a second, eyes quickly darting back and forth to map his new location – a few rows of simple beds, shiny cabinets and cupboards, in addition to tables holding collections of vials and bottles of liquids and salves in every possible colour. It seemed very familiar to Draco and he frowned in confusion, before it hit him like a bucket full of rocks. The hospital wing. They were at Hogwarts. After so many weeks, they were... safe?

How... ? Ignoring the man in haggard clothes, Draco rummaged through his still hazy memories, a deep scowl on his face. Yes, there was a battle of some sorts – lots of bright lights and shouts and explosion, there was fire -then he was... stupefied? Stunned while he was protecting... Draco's head shot up and he stared at the older man sitting patiently by his bedside.

"W-w-where -" Draco cleared his throat, not having used his speaking voice for weeks made his throat itchy and his voice painfully raspy. He swallowed, trying to moisture his parched throat. "Where's P-potter... ?"

The man's face fell a little, his amber eyes losing some of their vibrant shine, and Draco's heart nearly leapt straight up his throat and onto the cold floor of the hospital wing. The blonde followed the man's gaze to the bed next to his, on the other side of the man, and his breath hitched. There was a small box on the bed, set on the crispy, white covers. Trembling and filled with dread, Draco slowly swung his long legs out of his bed and got up, making his way to the other bed rather shakily. With apprehension, he took a peek.

Inside the box lay a familiar black ferret, silently curled up with its immobile head securely tucked between the front legs. There was no blood spattered on the lustrous fur anymore, but thick cotton bandages were firmly wrapped around the ferret's neck and belly. Draco's eyes travelled to the mauled ear, sticking out from the otherwise perfect little head and flinched, bile rising in his throat as he staggered backwards. A steady hand appeared on his shoulder to support him from falling over.

"Take it easy, Draco." Draco's hand flew to his chest, over his painfully fluttering heart, his breath coming in desperate gasps. "Deep,calming breaths, Draco, deep, calming breaths. There you go, feeling better?"

Draco gave a feeble nod, allowing himself to be helped back to his bed. He hated himself for feeling so weak that he required assistance and he very much wanted to pretend he was alone. But he had to ask. "Is he – is Potter -"

"He's alive," came the soft reply, and Draco sagged with relief, leaning back against his fluffy pillow. Potter was alive. Alive. Draco hadn't killed him. "Madam Pomfrey couldn't change him back to his human self, that's why he's still in his ferret form. It's his natural magic intervening: the injuries he has suffered might harm his human body even more if we were to change him. We must wait until he at least wakes up."

Draco bit his lip, almost drawing blood, and nodded again. He noticed his hands were shaking. Now that they were back, they were safe – would they take Draco away? For harming Potter, for assaulting him? Merlin, what if they thought he had attacked on purpose, intent on killing the Gryffindor? Potter wasn't conscious to defend him, to tell them what had happened, what if they were sending him to Azkaban? The shaking got worse, and Draco had to force the bitter tears of mixed relief of being finally rescued and seeing Potter alive, fear of not being believed and anger for Potter – he promised me he would speak for me, he promised he would be by my side, he promised! Why does he make me feel like this, so weak, so powerless? Damn that Gryffindor!

"You're hyperventilating again, Draco, calm down or you'll hurt yourself!"

Draco squeezed his eyes shut, burrowing into himself as he valiantly tried to get a grip of his flimsy nerves. The shock of suddenly being changed back into a human and rescued to Hogwarts with Harry, still as a ferret, in a small box, was heavily affecting his mind. After spending long weeks in a body of a ferret, mingling with the simpler ferret instincts, the weight of being a human again almost crushed him. With a shuddering, deep breath, he finally caught hold of the control and snapped his eyes open. His eyes met the worried amber ones. Suddenly, Draco recognized the greying man – Remus Lupin, his old DADA- teacher from his third year, and Harry's trustee.

"Are you okay?" asked the werewolf, tipping his head to the side with concern. "Would you like a calming potion?"

"No, no." Draco shook his head, the blonde locks falling into his eyes. "I-I'm fine. You're L-Lupin, right, Remus Lupin?"

He got an affirmative nod. "I am. I taught you Defence a few years back."

"I remember. Potter told me about you, he – he really likes you, you know. He trusts you." Draco didn't know why he was blabbering like this – maybe he wanted to make a positive impression on the older man. Lupin was certainly a trusted and highly valued member of the side of light, despite his animalistic condition, and furthermore, he was important to Potter. If Draco had him on his side, he would have better chances on survival. Besides, the amiable man seemed like a person Draco himself could trust. He didn't avoid Draco's gaze but met it evenly, not regarding Draco like the majority of the wizarding people would: with contempt, disgust and fear. Draco suddenly understood why Harry liked this man so much, trusted him with his own life. He saw it in his soft eyes; despite everything that had happened to him, despite the way most people treated him because he was a werewolf, he still saw good in people. Just like Harry. And maybe he did see some goodness in Draco, too.

The werewolf gave a solemn nod. "I and Harry are close. He's like the son I never had, and I guess I'm the father he lost when he was a baby. Harry's a wonderful person if he let's you close enough, believe me." A wistful smile played on his lips before he sobered again, levelling an even yet non-judgemental, gaze at Draco. "Draco... I'm not attributing responsibility on you in any way, but what happened? Harry would have – he would have died if Madame Pomfrey hadn't-" Lupin swallowed, a pained look flashing across his worn features. "Well, he was in bad condition. It looked like a dog had attacked him... "

"No," Draco whispered. "It wasn't a dog."

"Then what was it? What happened, Draco?"

"It was ... it was me." Draco swiftly turned his eyes away, not baring to look at the other man. He was sure Lupin would hate him now. "I did it, all of it. That Lestrange woman... she came by yesterday – or I think it was yesterday- and hit me with Imperio. She – she told me to kill the other ferret." The blonde looked up, glimmers of tears shining in his desperately pleading eyes. I will not cry, I am a Malfoy. "I tried to resist, Merlin, I did! But the curse was so strong – and I nearly killed him, I almost killed Potter."

There was a small silence. Draco stared at Lupin, silently begging him to understand. The greying man finally coughed, his eyes troubled as he looked straight at the younger man. Draco apprehensively searched for any sign of disgust, fear or rage. He found none. Instead, Lupin's face was mildly horrified and saddened. He sighed. "Oh Draco. That must have been terrible. But you broke the curse eventually, didn't you, since Harry is still alive."

"You – you believe me?" Draco's voice was near a whisper again.

Lupin favoured him with a humourless smile. "I know a lie when I see one. You weren't lying to me. But Draco, you seem tired. You really should try and get some rest. You've been through a lot lately."

Draco looked at Lupin hesitantly. His eyes flickered over to the lone box on the next bed and Lupin caught that. He smiled knowingly, comfortingly. "I'll watch over Harry. Shall I wake you if he arouses?"

Had he really been that transparent? Draco swallowed the lump on his throat, nodding. "I would appreciate that. Thank you, Lupin."

"Call me Remus, will you?" His smile was gentle and genuine. "And sleep now, everything will look better once you've had some peaceful rest. I'll be right here if you need me."

Draco slowly flopped back onto his bed, drawing the warm blanket over his head as he curled up like a ferret, arching his back and resting his head near his arms. The comfortable, soothing position soon let him be swallowed by the solacing arms of sleep, a few flimsy thoughts racing in his mind. Maybe Potter is awake when I wake up... Or maybe I wake up to see that this has been just a dream and Potter is dead under me, his green eyes forever closed. A murdered, they call me then.

The next time Draco woke up, there was only silence to greet him. Sleepily, the blonde glanced around beneath his protective cover and saw no-one around. The hospital wing was silent as grave. Even Lupin – Remus - was absent, his chair abandoned on the floor between the two occupied beds. But it hadn't been a dream, after all. Potter was still alive.

Draco's eyes slowly travelled to the lonely box next to him. Swallowing the hesitant wings of a nervous butterfly in his throat, he vacated his tepid bed and crossed the distance between the beds. Harry hadn't moved an inch since Draco last saw him. Was it a bad sign? Uncertainly, he reached out a slightly trembling hand and carefully petted the soft, pitch black fur. His fingers brushed against the rough bandages and he involuntarily grimaced. He had done that, he had done all that. Draco drew in a quick breath, pursing his lips tightly together. But I didn't mean it. So, I'm not a bad person, right?

"Right?" he whispered out loud, still stroking the black ferret curled up on the soft-looking towels settled under his prone body. Was he a bad person? Was he evil, dark? He didn't like Muggles, he didn't like puppies and kittens and children, he rarely spoke without scathing irony and sarcasm, he knew he had hurt people with his harsh behaviour and it didn't really bother him at all – but did that make him bad? It was just the way he was. Some people were more open and cheerful, hugging people left and right, but Draco... He had been raised into a noble Malfoy, a proud Slytherin, he couldn't be changed into a person he was not. Merlin, he didn't even want to change. He was not evil, damn it, was he?

"Did you say something?"

Draco yanked his hand out of the box and whipped around. Remus Lupin had entered the infirmary again, carrying two mugs of steaming coffee. "I'm sorry, did I startle you? I didn't mean to."

"It's okay," Draco responded quietly, grudgingly backing away from the box. He sat back on his own bed, warily watching the werewolf with keen eyes as he approached.

"I thought you would be waking up." Remus lowered himself to his chair, offering the other mug to Draco. "So I dropped by the kitchens and asked for some coffee. I'll bring you food later, you must be hungry. You've slept a whole day now."

"A whole day?" Draco croaked, surprised. Had he been that tired?

"We attacked just after dawn yesterday at the camp you were being held." Remus took a calm sip from his mug. "You woke up before midday yesterday, as I'm sure you remember. It is three pm now. Don't be concerned, combined with the stupefy I had to hit you with, the stress of your captivity takes time to recover from."

"Alright." Draco hesitantly raised the mug to his dry lips and let the warming liquid slide into his mouth. Merlin, it felt so good. "If you don't mind me asking... How is it that you found us, exactly? I thought the whereabouts of that place were firmly hidden."

Remus placed his mug on the small desk behind him and leaned back thoughtfully. "It wasn't easy, let me tell you that. Luck had decided to give us a favour, actually," the man mused, sending an emotional glance at the box concealing one injured ferret. "After Harry disappeared a few weeks ago, we found his abandoned wand and instantly knew he had been taken by servants of the Dark Lord. Harry would never willingly and intentionally leave his wand behind."

"My father took him," Draco offered slowly, the deep burn of betraying his father stinging in his chest. Don't be silly. That man turned you into an animal. "Harry told me."

Remus raised faintly surprised eyebrows and Draco blanched, cursing his sudden slip. Harry, my arse... Merlin, am I going soft? "He, uh, he said Lucius caught him while he was investigating something Potter thought was suspicious."

"Indeed." Remus' eyes were bright as they bore into Draco's with curiosity. "Draco, before I get on with the story... How did you get along with Harry in the cage? You spent all your time in that cage, did you not?"

"We did," Draco said carefully. "And how did we get along... Well, to tell you the truth, we didn't. In the beginning, at least. Hell, we were at each others' throats practically all the time."

"In the beginning...?" Remus slowly ventured, his eyebrows rising again in question. Draco sighed, shifting his gaze to look at the plain, brown box. He was not good at talking to people like this and hoped Harry was awake to explain everything.

"There was an... disturbance with a vicious dog of Aunt Bella's." The blonde bit his lip for a brief second before blurting out the rest. "Potter saved my life that day. After that... We started to get along. Called a truce, if you can say that. Eventually, that led to something else. I think-" he frowned, cutting out his inane blabber. Malfoys never gibbered like that, especially with a person they barely knew. "I don't know if we're friends or anything but we're not enemies. Not anymore."

Remus nodded. "I understand. Now, as you must realize, I have many questions for you, but I'll tell the tale of your rescue first, okay?" At Draco's curt incline of his head, he went on. "Now, as I said, we knew Harry had been kidnapped, and we did suspect it had been your father. We tried to contact him but never succeeded. We questioned Narcissa - had to travel all the way to France for that - as well, but she didn't know anything or didn't want to share her knowledge."

"She didn't know," Draco interrupted. "She never did. My father never told her anything concerning his career. She wasn't aware of my transformation, either. I haven't been in contact with her for months after she moved to France to visit her relatives."

Draco had never been that close to his mother. Being maternal and cuddly was not something Narcissa was good at, and she shared a fairly distant, but protective relationship with her son. She had always made sure Draco was kept out of harm's way when Draco was younger. Her sudden relocation to France came as a small surprise to Draco, and even though they had not exchanged letters or anything during her absence, Draco figured she had moved away after a spectacular raw she had had with Lucius about something Draco was never told, prompted by Lucius. In some way, Draco did miss his mother. There was something solacing in her presence, something Draco couldn't explain.

"Alright. In addition, we attempted to get in contact with you, too, but obviously, didn't have much success with that, either. Something about you taking a vacation in France, as well... We were at our wits' end, didn't have any leads or trails to follow and we were starting to get desperate." There was a sad look just behind the calm amber eyes, barely shining through. But Draco noticed it. "Harry meant so much, to many of us. Not just as a ... a pawn of this war, but as a friend, as a family member. So imagine our surprise when Severus – wait." Remus suddenly narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

Draco gave a long-suffering sigh. "I know all about Severus Snape and his status as a spy. Do go on."

"Right." Remus cleared his throat before continuing. "One evening Severus suddenly comes barging in here with crucial information. He claims he knows the location of where Harry is being held, alongside with one other involuntary prisoner. You. "

Draco scowled, bemused. "How come Snape did come across that information? Not that I'm complaining or anything, it's just that the location of that place was heavily warded and almost impossible to come by."

"Severus said that the information had come from your father, Draco. Lucius had briefly mentioned the cage with two ferrets and the whereabouts to Severus while they had discussed about an upcoming attack."

Draco was taken aback. "My... father?" he unbelievingly stammered.

"Yes, your father. Understandable enough, we hesitated before acting since the source of the information was him of all people, but finally, we decided to take a shot. And I'm glad we did. I don't think we would have reached you in time otherwise."

Turning his head away, Draco was still trying to get over the fact that it was his own father who had slipped the information that had, in the end, probably saved his and also Harry's life. He swallowed. Dared he hope it had been... intentional? Did Lucius deliberatively leak the location? No, Draco shook his head with a stubborn scowl on his face, it couldn't be. It just couldn't. He nearly groaned audibly. When did his life become so amazingly complicated, so painfully strenuous? What the hell had he done in the past life to deserve all this, rudely thrown straight at his face when he least expected it. He sighed.

"Draco, are you all right?" Remus' tone was concerned. "You look a little peaky. Perhaps you would like some potions Severus left-"

"No, no, I'm fine, really," Draco said tiredly, finally lifting his head. He somewhat straightened his slouching back and looked the other man in the eye to prove that he was indeed fit enough. "Earlier, you said you had some questions for me?"

Remus hesitated, his forehead wrinkling. "We don't have to do this now, Draco, you're just recovering from a terrible ordeal. The answers can wait."

"I'm ready now," Draco argued unyieldingly, crossing his arms over his chest. "Fire away."

"If you say so." Remus frowned. "We can take a pause anytime you need, just remember that, okay? Now, what we wondered within the Order when we saw you in that cage with Harry..."

For the next hour, Draco patiently recounted his sorry tale of denouncing Voldemort, the reasons behind his unforeseen decision, and the way he finally ended up in the cage as a ferret. When he was finished, he allowed himself to sag in exhaustion and lean back into the pillows, feeling drained, yet in a way, sated. Cloaking his apprehensive feelings with a mask of utter coolness, he watched Remus' face.

"Well," murmured the werewolf. "Can't say that I'm really surprised by your choice of life, actually." At Draco's look of bemusement, he smiled. "I watched you in your third year. Sure, you were acting like a prat and harassing the ones you considered to be beneath you, but... I saw right away that you were not evil. You had a mind of your own."

Not evil. Remus gently patted Draco's shoulder at his sharp intake of air. "I'm glad you did what you did. Not many people are brave enough to go against your family, not even if you think what they are doing is wrong. You would have done great in Gryffindor."

Draco's eyes widened in horror and he paled, nearly choking on his tongue. Me, in Gryffindor? Not in a million of years! Remus chuckled, clearly amused. "Just joking, Draco, just joking. You are a Slytherin through and through. But seriously, you've done greatly. No wonder Harry has taken a liking of you. Same could be said the other way around. Two opposites make one whole, I guess."

Draco regarded Remus suspiciously but didn't say anything. His dignity wouldn't let him. He couldn't just admit he -possibly- had some positive feelings towards the sodding Boy-Who-Lived-To-Annoy-The-Hell-Out-Of-Him. But, the blond was well, painfully well, actually, aware of the fact that he didn't hate the Gryffindork anymore. Grudgingly, he granted Harry's company... passable. Right?

Draco opened his mouth to wipe Remus' annoyingly smug grin off with a scathing remark, when a soft rustle drew his attention away. The brown box on the bed was rattling just a little bit, small claws scratching the cardboard in a scarcely audible way.

Additional A/N: I'm doing fanart for this story (I just can't get enough of these ferrets), would someone have any particular ideas for them? A scene from the story, perhaps.