Finally, chapter four. Wherein I had too much fun.

Fasten your seatbeats, this'll be a bumpy ride. With lots of kick-assing from several avenues. I won't say much else here, but I'll answer some things at the bottom.

Chapter Four - The Commander

"She's taken over Kuchiki's duties."

"I know."

"Do you think it will be enough…?"

"… I doubt it."

"Such a short time… such terrifying potential. Such power…."

"Trust me, I know."

A laugh.

"You think I don't?"

Frowning in contemplation, Rukia's dark eyes drifted over her charge's sleeping form, not really seeing anything. It was late in the morning, far past the time she should have been up, but she couldn't find it in her to wake her after the last forty-eight hours. Never in her existence had Rukia known Hollows to congregate in a single area in the intensity Karakura was suffering presently.

It's unnatural.

And several of them were unusually powerful. Shrieker himself, while having only been Hollow for less than two months, had overall been a match for a seated officer. Ninth or tenth seat.

Ichigo stirred, mumbling under her breath.

Rukia bit her lip.

Seated officers had an advantage over unseated shinigami - most of them knew shikai, the zanpakuto initial release, even if most of them couldn't use it very well with their meager reiatsu. Ichigo had no shortage of reiatsu, but didn't know shikai existed. And Rukia wasn't sure she dared to tell her about it.

She thought of the kido she had used against Shrieker - the Hinotama alone had probably set her back a month in recovery. Even now, several days later, she had a hard time focusing her reiatsu in all but the simplest of ways. She wouldn't be able to help.

Her hand closed into a loose fist, and Rukia scowled down at it.

Stupid gigai.

It's slowing down.

My powers are hardly recovering at all…

What should I do…?

An image formed in her mind of a man with black hair. She thrust it away.

"Never mind," she whispered. Ichigo turned over again, smiling in a way that was frankly disturbing. Rukia didn't want to know what she was dreaming about if it could provoke such a predatory response - her charge reminded her uncomfortably of a… of an animal at times. "I think it's time to go shopping."

It wasn't until the sun had finally risen high enough into the sky, allowing the rays that pierced through her window to flood her room with unbearably bright light that Ichigo stirred. Perhaps it was the night of uninterrupted sleep, or that her sleep had been one of vague dreams she had already forgotten as opposed to the vivid ones of late.

For whichever reason, it was the first time in three weeks that she had woken up so refreshed.

Hmm… Ichigo stretched like a cat, yawned, and looked around. The closet that served as Rukia's bedroom was open and empty, the mats folded neatly and stacked against the wall. Wonder where she's gone off too…?

Not that it mattered.

She rolled out of bed and stretched some more, before tearing off her nightshirt and grabbing the most convenient loose T-shirt off its hanger and proceeding to get dressed.

Yuzu had already put away the leftovers and washed the dishes by the time she got downstairs, and she forbid Ichigo to dirty up any more as a punishment for sleeping in, so Ichigo stalked out. Despite being turned away hungry, she was still in a decent mood.

Where to now? she thought after a moment, her feet choosing a path on their own.

She needed to drop by Orihime's place sometime soon; it had been far too long since she last visited, thanks mostly to shinigami duties. But as hungry as she was, Ichigo wasn't sure she was hungry enough to stomach the other girl's cooking - and if Orihime heard her stomach growl, the orange-head wouldn't be allowed to leave until she was stuffed.

Maybe later.

She could head over to the Plaza. Yakuza and other thugs tended to congregate there, and chances were she would have a good time. On the other hand, if she came home with bruises, Yuzu might refuse to let her eat again. Eleven year old dictator of a sister she was.

Ichigo hadn't left the Kurosaki Clinic with a destination in mind, but when she finally focused on her surroundings, they were familiar. The park bench, the greenery, and the small shrine to a departed loved one - the park that little girl had haunted.

"It doesn't look like she's still around," Ichigo remarked after a cursory look. "Thank god." Apparently, she had been serious in saying she could rest in peace.

If only pacifying ghosts had always been that simple. Some of them had been whiny little bastards. A lot of them actually. Most. But the survivors were often worse - holding on, clinging to a memory in the hope it would somehow bring the dead back to them.

It was pitiful. There was no way to bring back the dead. There never would be, would never be any point-

She caught herself before her line of thought played out, recognizing the rant beginning to build, and scowled. I'm ruining my own good mood.

But it was always so frustrating….

She had understood the moment her hands had touched-

"Hey Toshi, ge' over it man! S'not been any sign o' her showin' up since t'at time she broke our boards. Don' be such a wussy. 't's just a girl!"

Toshi… wasn't one of those skateboarder idiots called Toshi? Ichigo blinked, astounded at her own luck. Perfect stress relief. I thought I told them not to show back up…. Apparently, they were even stupider than they appeared, which was no mean feat.

"T'at 'just a girl' nearly broke my jaw!"

"Shu' up, L'il Mitch! Ya don' get the poin'!"

Ichigo never really cared much about grammar - she preferred to let her fists do her talking in a fight - but even she cringed at the butchering of her language. Shit, she had never heard such horrible accents.

"Wha' I say is, iffin she does show up again, we don' run like cowards like las' time. 'ere's more of us. I say we rush her! She can' take us all at once!"

"Yeah, yeah! She can' take us all at once!"

That was an opportunity to perfect to miss. Not to mention, that was damn insulting. She stepped out from behind the light pole that managed to shield her from the sight of unobservant brainless idiots. "Oh, I can't, can I?"

There were nearly a dozen of them, and every one lost all of the color in their faces.

Frozen, terrified… Easy prey. Ichigo's lips rose into a small, cold, nasty smile. Orihime had once accused her of practicing it in front of a mirror, since it was her automatic intimidation smile and worked so well.

"L'il Kozo," one of them whined, "now yeh've done i'."

That broke the spell of paralysis, and Ichigo pinned the one responsible with as powerful a death glare as she could manage, causing a wet spot to form in the front of his trousers.

Pathetic.

Her smile widened, and she shifted her posture slightly just for kicks as the fear built, and beckoned with two fingers. "Weren't you going to rush me? Then come on then, rush me. Beat me down with your collective…" Just a little contempt. Make them mad… it's so much more fun to break them then. "…might." Ichigo snorted delicately. "If there is any."

"You… you…" one of them - Kozo? Mitch? Other? Whatever, Thug One - managed to stutter, shaking like a leaf as he attempted to charge her.

It was laughable, and she laughed as she swept his street fighter haymaker aside, stepping in and punching upwards. The crack resounded through the park, and he collapsed to the ground, clutching his broken jaw.

"You said all at once, but one at a time is fine too." Ichigo shrugged, and beckoned with her fingers a second time. "So who's next…?

"Or do I have to come at you myself…?"

A few punches, a few kicks, and a few nimble dodges that led to thugs breaking each other's noses: it didn't take much until they were down, too dispirited, too terrified to even try fighting. She even rifled through their pockets for good measure - for a skateboarder gang, they had quite a bit.

Folding the yen into her pocket, she turned to leave, in a considerably better mood than the one she had arrived in. "Poor little thugs," she taunted over her shoulder. "If you ever feel like challenging me again, then come back… with some balls!"

Oh yes, perfect stress relief.

She thought of the money in her pocket. I wonder if Orihime would like to go out for lunch…

The walk to Urahara Shoten was both short and long, short in distance and long by the persistence of niggling worries. Rukia had tried to preoccupy herself with what she intended to buy, but that line of thought only lead her to the Hollow-tracking phone in her pocket, since she needed a new battery.

From there it was a train. Phone. Hollows. Fighting them…. Ichigo. Shikai - should she? Did she dare…?

She shook her head to stave off the thoughts, and forced a smile to her face as she crossed the threshold.

There were the green shelves that lined the walls, the green counters spaced out through the space, and the cash register on top of the counter. All were filled with some form of Material World sweet or another, and there was no way, at the surface, to tell that Urahara Kisuke's candy shop was anything but.

Rukia stepped up the counter, where a redheaded boy sat boredly.

"I can't help ya if you don't have any merchandise," he said rudely.

"I'm not here for candy," she replied tersely, and before the boy could say anything else she continued. "I'm here to see the manager."

"What would the boss want with you?"

Pretending she didn't realize a couple of the more destructive kido she knew were alternating with some of Ichigo's tamer curses in the back of her mind, Rukia opened her mouth to retort - only not to have to.

"Jinta… didn't the boss reprimand you for being rude to clients?"

"Tessai!" Jinta's eyes went a little wide. "I was just-"

The huge apron-clad shop hand brushed off the boy's impending excuse with a slight smile. "Miss Kuchiki! What a pleasure it is to see you again." Tessai bowed slightly. "I'll go get the boss for you."

"No need," another voice chimed in. "I'm already here." An engaging smile. "I got a shipment from the other side just yesterday. Well, Miss Kuchiki, what do you need?"

Urahara Kisuke, Rukia thought as she handed her short order to the man, was an enigma. The name and the straw-blonde hair struck her as familiar, but the absurd green and white striped hat, haori, and sandals the ruined any chance of recognition.

"…one kikanshinki celestial text messenger power cell… what grade?"

"The middle grade." The old one had been completely fried trying to replace Chad's memories of a half-dead Ichigo. She hoped it had worked.

"If it works." He tapped a few buttons in the register, raising an eyebrow at the next two entries. "One reiatsu contanobooster? Odd choice. …Sixty somafixer internal soul-fixing medicine? You do know how using them too much is bad for you…? Stay in that gigai too long, and you'll have a hard time coming out of it."

Rukia looked down at her hands. They were trembling slightly, she noticed.

"The gigai… doesn't respond like it should. It's been slowing down. It responds sluggishly. And that's not good." Not with the Hollow-hotspot that this place has become…

"I can give it an inspection if you like," Kisuke offered, grinning. She could almost see hearts. "All two hundred twenty-five body parts, for only 3,999 kan-"

"No thanks."

He adjusted his hat, not looking the least bit put out. "So… on your card?"

"No." If the fee was put on her card, so would the merchandise. Rukia held out her tracker phone. "Bonus money." If not one of those scores of Hollows that had appeared in the last few weeks was on the bonus list, she was going to be very irritated.

Kisuke took the phone, clicking through the records. "Fishbone D… none. Acidwire… nope. Hexipoditas… zilch…." He clicked for a while longer, before reading off, "Elysium… two thousand. That was a strange one."

Rukia winced at the memory. Its ability had been to incite feelings of enjoyment, probably in order to make the prey lower its guard. Unfortunately for the Hollow, it had led to a sadistic little cat and mouse game: Ichigo refused to finish it, but also refused to let it escape. She herself, standing on the sidelines, had been little better.

"Hmm…" Kisuke stopped reading off the zeros after about twenty. "Canis, two hundred. And Shrieker… five thousand. Now he was a menace. He ate two shinigami."

"It would have been more if he hadn't been set on tormenting one particular soul," Rukia muttered. After an inquiring look from the shopkeeper she relented and explained. "Shrieker was Hellbound, had been a serial killer during life, but an accident happened and one of his would-be victims killed him. Ichigo and I fought him a few days ago."

She closed her eyes, remembering the condition the orange-head had been in when she had decided to return and help. "His ability… was powerful. And Ichigo had an injured arm from a Hollow earlier that day."

"Was the damage that bad?"

Rukia laughed quietly and humorlessly. "Only because I refused to heal it completely."

Kisuke didn't reply immediately, only fiddled with his cap.

Say something, why don't you, she thought irritably. Don't just sit there. She felt guilty enough as it was. "All in all," she continued, breaking the awkward silence, "Shrieker was easily a match for a seated officer."

"Strange," commented the shopkeeper. "Stronger Hollows usually stay in Hueco Mundo. Did you go on a raid?"

Thankful for the mild joke, Rukia laughed softly. "Hardly. It seems like it at times, though." She sighed ruefully at the phone Kisuke had handed back.

With all the Hollows popping up, it might as well be.

Of course, that led her thoughts back to her charge, and to Shikai. Scowling in frustration, she slipped it back into her pocket - only to hear it beep. With a snarl that caused Kisuke to hide a grin behind his fan, Rukia pulled it out again and read off the description.

Hoshitaka's Sukiyaki Restaurant?

Hadn't she passed that when Ichigo had taken her to Orihime's apartment…?

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no.

Rukia wanted to cry - Urahara Shoten was easily fifteen minutes walk from the Kurosaki Clinic, in the opposite direction from the restaurant, and if Orihime got injured….

"Something wrong, Miss Kuchiki?"

"Ichigo's at home," Rukia admitted frankly, face in her hands. From the slight crinkle of his eyes, she was certain he was laughing at her. In his head at least. Either that or smelling the colors, she added darkly.

"In that case, Miss Kuchiki, I think I can help you."

As it turned out, Orihime was unable to resist the prospect of gorging herself on Hoshitaka's delicious sukiyaki - Ichigo had the shabu-shabu instead. It wasn't breakfast food, but then, it wasn't really breakfast time, either.

"…and it was like this big, big, big monster jumps out at me and yells 'I am your father, Orihime!'"

Ichigo smiled indulgently; Orihime's hands had gradually picked up speed, making wilder gestures as her story progressed, and now they were flung wide and her face was upturned, as if she were offering praise to some higher being.

Orihime's dreams were always strange, but as vivid as dreaming life itself - it actually reminded the orange-head of how most of her dreams had become.

Like half-lucid glances into worlds come and gone, and those that would never be.

Almost like Shakespeare, she thought, rolling her eyes at her own melodrama. Almost like -

She froze.

It was faint, so faint. But she could feel it.

It was a thousand icy fingers, running up and down her spine, exploring her body, making her sick; it was a thousand newly-forged daggers, knifing at her temple, digging through her mind, leaving her violated; it was a thousand fangs, tearing into her stomach, into her core - ripping her apart.

Harsh and ragged, she forced herself to breathe as the sensation retreated, until there was nothing left but a feeling of hollow victory that wasn't hers.

"Ichigo?" Orihime's hand on her shoulder brought her back to the concrete, back to the view of the skyline from the roof of Hoshitaka's. "Are you okay?"

That was… a Hollow. A powerful one.

Ichigo swallowed and focused on returning her breathing to normal. It took a few breaths.

A dangerous one.

"Yeah, Orihime," she replied, "I'm fine." The expression on her friend's face said she was not convinced. "Why don't we go-"

There was no time to go anywhere, as an explosion rocked Hoshitaka's and knocked them both to the ground. Orihime landed roughly on top of Ichigo, and followed her line of sight, squinting.

"Now that…" Ichigo muttered, stunned, "is one ugly son of a bitch."

She couldn't figure out what it was… unless it was a great, undulating mound of testicles.

"It's a tentacle monster!"

Despite the situation, despite that Orihime shouldn't have been able to see it, Ichigo couldn't help but burst out laughing - for a few seconds, at least.

It lashed out with a tentacle hardly a second after she had started laughing at Orihime's remark, but not fast enough that she couldn't maneuver, to take a blow that might have broken some of Orihime's ribs. In her place her body buckled, caught by the wrist before it flew over the side of the restaurant.

The orange-head skidded on the air, coming to a rough stop before leaping back onto the roof, sliding the zanpakuto from its sheath.

The Hollow was not like Shrieker.

Ichigo wasn't sure whether to be thankful or annoyed.

"Well," she commented wryly, casting a reassuring smirk at the white-faced Orihime. "That was convenient."

When she saw the garganta form in the air above Hoshitaka's Sukiyaki Restaurant, Rukia despaired - Ichigo would chop her to mincemeat, zanpakuto or no zanpakuto.

When she saw the immense size of the Hollow that appeared from it, she thought she had a reprieve… maybe she'd be eaten instead. Oh, if only, if only.

Then, she saw both Ichigo and Orihime on the roof, not ten feet from the Hollow, and revised all of her previous thoughts.

After a one hundred and fifty year stay of execution, and despite that she had never been a Hollow, Hell had finally taken her. There was no other excuse.

The stark white Orihime clutched Ichigo's lifeless body with the desperation of a drowning woman to her last buoy, the only thing keeping her afloat amidst a sea of terror, while Ichigo's spiritual body dodged inside and outside of tentacles, hacking away with abandon… were Orihime not there, in potential danger, Rukia figured the orange-head would have been dancing in joy.

She could imagine the words now.

"Finally a foe with some kickass regeneration to make up for no fighting skills!"

Rukia snorted despite herself.

But if she has to keep defending Orihime, things could turn nasty really quick. She bit her lip, wishing she had learned more than the basics of Hoho, fast movement. If she could just get Orihime away, everything would be so much simpler…

As it was, without even the reiatsu to force the gigai to higher speeds, without being able to fly… there was no way she would manage to get to the roof, let alone away with Orihime.

How did they get up there anyway?

She looked more closely at the girl with the long, orange-brown hair, and felt ice solidify in her stomach.

And why… does it seem like… she's following Ichigo's movement…?

Well, dancing with a monster that could regenerate every limb she slashed away had seemed new and interesting at first, but it was getting old fast. She wanted to see some blood, dammit. Some actual damage.

It was annoying - every time she made progress toward actually hurting it, the fucking blob would go after Orihime, and she would be forced to abandon her advantage to protect her.

Ichigo hated the few fights she had to undergo with Orihime at close hand.

Move, idiot. Get away!

I can't fight like this.

And the traitorous thought.

I'm better off without you.

She quashed the thought with a vengeance and an internal snarl that left her as a shout. "Orihime - don't just sit there like a corpse! Get outta here!"

"But Ichigo-"

"I said 'go'!" the orange-head barked, letting her frustration flood into her tone.

Orihime flinched as if she'd been struck, gathered up Ichigo's body like an overlarge doll, and stumbled across the dismembered, strewn-about limbs over to the piece of roof that overhung the trash receptacle that served as an excellent ladder to Hoshitaka's roof. A few tentacles followed her, only to be cut away as well.

Much better.

As her lips drew up in a nasty grin, she ducked under a flailing tentacle and jumped over a second, and gripping firmly with both hands and spinning on her heel, Ichigo buried her zanpakuto down to the hilt guard into the Hollow's glutinous body, and tore it out the side.

For the first time, as the blood flew, it let out a scream of pain.

-ON'T WANT TO DE-

-thetic piece of human ex-

Ichigo stumbled backward, wrenching the zanpakuto from the monster's bulk, and a hand crept from the hilt to her temple as her eyes squeezed shut in a vain attempt to blot out the pain. What is this…? It hurt like no attack she'd ever borne.

-ifteen seconds. Can't you do bette-

-not the only one hurting-

-AT'S WRONG WITH YOU?-

-YOU CAN'T-

…seem to handle this on your own.

Her eyes shot open once again - in time for her to dodge one big-ass tentacle. The screaming faded to the background for one glorious mental moment, before it surged forward again.

-tch. D'ya think you cou-

-truth, Inoue, you are-

-dealistic fool-

-hate you!-

-I WANT YOU GONE!-

She could feel the ribs crack under the next onslaught. Want this gone? she thought savagely at the last. I want this gone. For a moment she managed to crack her eyes open, dodge an attack.

-diculous. Can't you d-

I want it stopped. Now!

Want it stopped, do you?

And it was gone again, just an annoying buzz at the back of her head. She sidestepped, and the huge tentacle went flying. Before she could press her attack, however, her second voice - her conscience, or whatever, because the conscience wasn't suppose to annoy you unless you felt guilty about something - spoke up again.

Wanting is pointless. Useless.

No enemy will relent because you want them to. Would you desire such?

An enemy that so easily bent to her wishes…? No, she wouldn't. If one did… she would be infuriated.

Then what is it you wish?

There was a beat where the world stood still and time stood frozen as she thought.

I wish… for the power… to establish my place.

And what is that place?

The thudding of her own heart resounded in her ears as she thought, and a half-forgotten joke from four years prior sprung to mind.

Comandante.

She had the vague impression of a predatory smile, reflected by her own lips.

Then conquer them. Command them. In my name.

And side by side… we will carve our pathway, until that power is yours.

Time began to move again.

"Ordenar - Zangetsu!"

For a heady second, she felt a premonition of white and silver and black, and power flowing through her body and in her hands, sword burning cool, wreathed in light, before metal twisted and moved under her fingers.

Ichigo hefted the overlarge cleaver, with its black blade and dark red edge and brilliant bright scarlet bandages wrapping the hilt and settling around her neck like a scarf, and surged forward. In one slash, the cleaver did what the sword could not - and bisected the Hollow down the center.

Have no fear, Ichigo…

It shattered into millions of shards, proof of a successful kill.

I will never leave you to want for anything.

"What just… happened?"

I don't know.

"I think it's gone."

But what was it?

"But Ichigo… that's impossible."

Orihime smiled. Kurosaki Ichigo - making the impossible possible since birth. That should have been the orange-head's slogan, or at the very least on a warning sign strapped to her back. She giggled at the mental picture.

"That's shikai - the initial release. But she doesn't know how!"

Initial release…?

Blinking, Orihime pondered for a moment on whether poking the much smaller girl out of her shocked daze would result in better information, before deciding it would only prove detrimental.

"And the release command… ordenar…"

It's Spanish, she thought helpfully as Rukia dropped to her knees. She had hung out with Chad enough thanks to Ichigo to get a feel for the language.

"…what does it mean…?"

Of that, she wasn't entirely sure. She would have to ask.

"And what is that?"

"Rukia, that's… rude…" She followed the smaller girl's line of sight, and found herself swallowing her reprimand.

It was a white blot on the roof of Hoshitaka's Sukiyaki Restaurant. A white blot, more specifically, in human form and a starch-white version the strange outfit Ichigo now wore, with snow-white skin and hair the same color that fell over the figure's forehead and cast a shadow upon where the face would be.

It looks like someone drowned it in a bleach bath…

"That's…impossible…."

Orihime looked at Rukia a second time, registering the stark terror in her face, and wondered just what Ichigo had pulled this time. She sighed. Couldn't the orange-head keep it down to one impossibility per day, at least?

"How… odd."

He was a threat.

No matter what his posture read, he was a threat.

Ichigo knew. She herself had pulled that particular "I'm harmless" trick several times. She tightened her grip on her zanpakuto. Zangetsu was its name. Zangetsu…. She hadn't been aware zanpakuto had names, or that they could transform.

Damn Rukia. Just what else had she neglected to say?

The hilt cloth unfurled from its position draped around her neck, tripling in length in a second to circle around her like a protective shield, dribbling a thick red liquid that looked like blood unto the restaurant's roof. Aside from congealing, it didn't seem to have any effect, but instinct told her that the blood was more than for show. Much more.

The white figure tilted his head to the side thoughtfully, and his hair parted enough to allow her a look at his face - if it was a face. It was the same stark white as the rest of him, flawlessly smooth… almost like a mask. But she couldn't see a line where it met the flesh, unless it was perfectly along the jaw line….

"Yes, very odd." He seemed to be examining the bandage. "And at the same time… so very clever."

It made her feel like an exhibit at a museum. Responding to her irritation, a swath of bandage extended from the guard, swooping around the figure as if to capture him - only to pass through him as if he were smoke.

What?

A fraction of a second later the white face - mask? - was inches in front of her own, and a sharp pain erupted in her stomach boring, drilling, stabbing through and out behind. Her scream of pain was rather strangled, as the force pitched her forward into the white shihakusho.

He pushed her off none too gently, and the bandage wrap cushioned her fall and coiled tightly around her abdomen, hiding the baseball-sized hole.

Standing several meters away as the afterimage in front of her blinked away, he shook his head.

"Irritation is not a reason to instigate a fight far beyond one's skill."

Ichigo cringed, and not only from the pain. God, but that was stupid! If unintentional. The grip on her shoulder grew slightly firmer. You will learn control.

"However… I have faith in your rate of evolution."

It might have been a compliment, if the tone hadn't been so hideously - poisonously - amused. He looked away for a moment, then made a vague motion in the air beside him. "This has been most enlightening, but I fear there is more I have yet to do. Hasta luego."

She opened her mouth to comment, but he disappeared into the patch of air with a faint black afterglow.

"That… fucker. He walked out on me!"

The only one who heard was herself, and she heard a faint laugh in reply.

The hole in her stomach was strangely numb.

"Oh dear." Urahara Kisuke shook his head at the empty air where the white figure had stood and disappeared, and smiled engagingly at both girls. "It looks like Miss Kurosaki is in a bad way."

"In a bad-" Rukia repeated, voice shrill. "In a bad way! Kisuke - you saw that - that was bala! And that thing, it was-"

Poof.

"Miss Kurosaki… just had a bit of difficulty with the Hollow, right, Miss Kuchiki?"

Orihime blinked at the smaller girl's slow nod and blank eyes, and glanced in alarm at the small gizmo in the strange man's hand. He smiled.

"Some things aren't meant to be known," he said rather cryptically. "So why don't we see to your friend over there? That attack blew a hole through her abdomen."

"Orihime!"

"Isshi-daddy!"

"Orihime!"

"Isshi-daddy!"

"Orihime!"

Ichigo shuddered. Make it stop. Make it stop, I tell you!

"Strawberry," Karin whispered, mirroring the shudder at her own seat at the kitchen table, "I think I hate you."

Yuzu looked away from the spectacle, which was statement enough.

"I think I do too," she replied miserably, toying with her takoyaki, and then raised her voice. "Orihime! Freak of nature! Cut it out - some of us are trying to eat!"

She was ignored. Whining slightly, she cursed Inoue Kakei in as many ways as she could manage for attacking while Orihime was at home. If she hadn't been kicked out, Ichigo wouldn't have to put up with this.

"Isshi-daddy!"

"Orihime!"

"Isshi-daddy!"

She flinched, and tried to think of something, anything else.

The first thing that came to mind made her frown in contemplation.

Hasta luego… doesn't that mean "until we meet again"?

1.) Where's Kon? He's not here - last chapter, the danger was not from if Shrieker had gone hafter Ichigo instead, but that Rukia overdid herself with kido. In the Karakura arc of canon Bleach, Rukia's a very retroactive person. Here, getting some Soul Candy didn't occur to her. Pity, because it'd be dead hilarious to see what Kon would do, at large in a female body.

2.) Ichigirl's growth rate - WTF? Shikai already. There's a reason. Remember, what growth she undergoes now she won't gain later. Zangetsu, you'll notice, is different than canon Zangetsu. Since Ichigirl is vastly different that canon!Ichigo in most places but similar in some, I don't find this unrealistic.

3.) Whitey-chan. Muhaha. Shouldn't be hard to figure out what he is, but why he's there... hm. It does not bode well. For anybody. Except for a short cameo, you won't see him again for a while. BTW, Whitey-chan's not his name. You'll learn it when Ichigirl does (that is, far in the future).

4.) Kikanshinki don't hypnotize! Usually, but this is Urahara. I don't put it past him to modify one to his tastes.

5.) Spanish terms...? "Hasta luego" literally means something like "until then," but I think it's often used as Ichigirl assumes (don't quote me there). "Ordenar," as you may have guessed, is "to command." I left it in the infinitive form, mainly because wasn't sure whether you'd conjugate using "yo" or "tu." "Comandante" means "commander," though I think it can also be used for similar terms. Hey, take it easy, I've only studied Spanish for a few months, and not anything detailed.

6.) WTF was with Isshin and Orihime in that last scene? Come on. Anyone who knows anything about Naruto... can you not see Isshin and Orihime pulling a Gai and Lee scene? I certainly can, and I don't even know much about Naruto.

I rgubj that just about covers the basics... I gave a lot away in this chapter. A lot. Enough that had I not been having so much fun, I'd be biting my fingernails to nothing. Tell me what you think!