Broken
"What are they saying?"
"shhh!"
"ouch"
"get your tin butt out of my face"
"Get your green face out of my butt"
The sound of a clear throat caused the four Titans to stand up straight, hands behind their backs whistling. Arella smiled. "She had just summoned her emotions. Now as good friends I am sure you would like to hear what she is saying?" They all rubbed the back of their hands laughing nervously. "Leave her be and join me for some tea"
Raven looked at all of her emotions and sighed. "Who do I have to listen to first." Raven crossed her legs and levitated. She was forced to twirl to Happy. Happy smiled and waved, Raven rolled her eyes.
"He makes you happy." was all she had to say. Raven looked at her, expecting to say more. "Even though his jokes are lame. His efforts makes you smile. The way he calls you Rae, makes you happy. Knowing that he has give you a special nickname. How he always tries to include you into the activities he participates in and how he tries to join yours makes you feel important." Happy paused shooting a smile at Raven. "Beast boy makes you happy." Raven scrunched her eyes together, wondering if it was true. She let the works sunk in. She was happy around Beast boy? She couldn't remember a single time she was ever happy around the changeling. "When you just finished your chess match with Cyborg, he wanted to learn. When you were meditating with Starfire, he joined in. When you were training with Robin, he trained too. Having him around you, brought you happiness. When the television was broken, he asked to borrow one of your books. And read the whole entire thing. All the things that he does to try to get close to you makes you very happy" Raven heard what Happy had to say. She let the words sink it, causing her heart to pound.
Looking up, she found herself facing Timid. She cleared her voice trying to find some courage but shortly lost it. Timid took a deep breathe. "Beast boy makes you sad." Raven raised an eyebrow confused, she didn't want to ask anything because she was trying to hear what they were saying rather than just listening. "He makes you feel Raven. He makes you feel sadness. When he turned into the beast, he protected you. You woke up worried and sad that the Titans had a bad idea of what was going on. Every time he gets hurt, you feel sad because you felt like you could stop it" Timid paused before taking a deep breathe. "You were sad when Terra broke Beast boy's heart over and over again. You wanted to help him, but you knew you couldn't. You were sad because you knew that he still loved her" Raven looked down in disgust. She didn't want to believe the words coming out of her own emotions mouth, but forced herself to let all the words sink in.
She looked back up facing Rage. This ought to be interesting. She thought to herself. "He makes us mad. Not just you. Me too. He drives both of us insane. The way he pesters you all the time, how he calls you Rae. It annoys the shit out of us because we're Raven. Not Rae. Raven. The way he acts like a kid all the time annoys the shit out of you. When you found out he read your diary, you wanted to cut him enough and feed him to whatever weird animal Starfire can name. He irritates you, gets on your nerves, and makes you lose control of me. The emotion you're suppose to keep in check 24/7." Rage found herself smirking as she crossed her arms. "He lights something in you, the smallest thing he does makes you furious. Why? Because he has his own way of doing it. What makes you even more furious and mad and pissed?" Rage paused and grinned. "Terra" Raven looked down, letting the words sink in, letting the words hit her.. "Even though you hate to say it girl, you love this boy. You were furious at Terra for hurting him. You didn't care that you couldn't keep your emotions in check. He told her everything, he trusted her, he told her everything about you. Which made you even more than furious. It also made you hurt. But face it, this boy lights something in you that you mistake as Anger."
"My turn!" Brave yelled happily. Raven rolled her eyes as she looked up. Brave was like Beast boy as much as she hated to admit. "BB." she paused dramatically. "Is the best thing that's ever happened to you sport!" she grinned as Raven frowned. "You think it's crazy but BB is the reason why you fight so hard most of the time. You're gonna hate this example, but Terra. You had enough courage to fight her because she was saying shit about him. He was and still is your friend. He's not afraid. He's willing to do what it takes to be a hero, and you admire that. And wish to be that sometimes. He's not afraid, and when he is afraid. He's not afraid to show it. That is true bravery. That is something you wish to have all the time. I may be that emotion, but trust me when I say I've been neglected. Beast boy is the one who summons me up. It reminds you how what bravery is. It summons me to give you the courage to do what you do everyday and fight in jump city" Raven didn't have to let the words sink in. She knew it was true. The other titans went down, they stayed down. Beast boy got back up every time. No hesitations. He fought hard. Harder than Robin sometimes.
Raven turned to Sloth who was picking her toes. Raven laughed inside, the last time she had this emotion was when she was thirteen and refused to clean her room. She was now glad that she did. "I know I know, what does Sloth have to think about emotions about all this stuff. And my speech will be shorter than the others because too many words." Sloth let out a huge gassy burp and smiled. "You let me out around Beast boy. Kay, next!" she looked down and began picking her toes. Raven looked away disgusted to find herself facing knowledge.
Knowledge pushed her glasses further to her face. "You admire his brain. You know he is indeed very intelligent but chooses not to. You enjoy his intellectual side. For example, chess. You enjoyed the two hour game because it did not get boring. It was very challenging to go against the changeling. I know everything because I am knowledge. I know every single one of your memories and in all the ones that contain Garfield, his plans are very unusual, yes, but you find them rather amusing. Being around him makes you feel smart, but at the same time it makes you feel like you do not have to have your nose stuck in a book all the time. He makes you feel childlike and makes me rather useless because as Love says he 'turns your brain to mush' although I am not quite sure that means" Raven rolled her eyes. Of course she would start quoting Love.
She then turned Rude, knowing that Love would probably like to have the last and probably very long speech. Rude burped. "RaeRae!" Rude said in a deep voice then laughed. "RaeRae. You love using me on him. All the good sarcastic and mean comebacks. And I mean man! That's why I love that boy, I'm being used all the time! I guess that's why Rage has a thing for him too. Anyways! You like the sarcastic references you use on that poor kid. You know it doesn't hurt him to the heart which is why you use it often." Raven smirked at Rude, her comments were pretty good and original. "You like to get him riled up because he's pretty hot when he's mad" that comment caused Raven to frown. "Rae. That's all I gotta say" Rude shrugged.
Raven frowned as she slowly turned toward Love who smiled sheepishly. Hear what she has to say. Hear what she has to say. Raven chanted in her heart. Love dropped her smile. "I have got one reason why you should listen to us. One reason that makes us sure that you do in fact love him. Other than the fact that I'm Love. One reason." Raven looked up and stared at the Purple cloaked emoticlone. Her face was dead serious. It was like staring into a mirror. Love looked deep into Raven's eyes, she wanted to make sure that she was actually hearing the words that were about to come out of her.
"What." Raven asked in a hush tone.
Love didn't say anything for a second, a small smile cracked. "He makes you feel" The violet eyed girl looked down at her hands. She absorbed the words coming from her own emotion. Her words echoing through her head. He makes you feel. In that moment, she understood what that statement meant. Robin had only affected Brave, being around Robin made her feel brave because he was just an average human who worked harder than anyone to save others. Robin was brave which affected Raven. Cyborg only affected Knowledge, the computer talks and playing chess for long hours made her use knowledge more often. Starfire only affected Happy- to some extent- when they bonded, because Raven felt as if she did have a friend. Beast boy was the only person to be able to cause her to feel every emotion. He made he her feel.
"Raven." she shot her head up to look at Love "As your emotions we're not asking you to go and actually marry him. We're asking you to accept how you feel. How he makes you feel"
The team and Arella were in the room next door, drinking tea. "Whoaaa this stuff is pretty good!" Beast boy commented as he chugged it down. "No wonder Rae likes this stuff"
"It is very pleasing, thank you um. Shall we call you Mrs. Raven's mom?" Starfire asked as she put her cup down. Arella smiled in a loving way.
"Please, call me Arella" she poured more tea for Beast boy and Starfire. "Looking at the clock will not hurry the procedure boys" Cyborg and Robin looked away from the clock and blushed. "I know you are all worried about her, but she is my daughter. She's stronger than you think." Beast boy looked down at his tea. "Regardless how broken she may be at times. She finds way to bounce back up from it. She spent her whole life being broken. Being told that she was something. Being shunned. She managed to break out of it and prove every single person wrong."
"I hope she's okay" Beast boy stated as he looked up.
"She will be BB. She just needs to hear what her emotions are saying. She's gonna be fine" Cyborg reassured. "The only emotion I worry about her dealing with is knowledge" Cyborg shivered. "I may get along with Knowledge but she's a whole new level of smartness!"
"I rather enjoy Happy. She does enjoys the trips to the shops I believe" Starefire chipped in.
"Brave is the best" Robin stated. "She is after all the reason why Raven is such a good heroine" Robin paused. "Although she does act like Beast boy"
"Which emoticlone do you like the most BB" Cyborg asked.
Beast boy sat, tapping his chin. "Well. I like Happy because Raven is rarely happy so when Happy comes out it's like bigger and happier but weird at the same time, but still it brightens the room somehow. I also like Brave because she can never turn down a challenge which is awesome! Because she busts out when I challenge Rae to a game. I also like Knowledge, she knows a lot of stuff and when Rae uses her I feel smarter and I can actually understand sometimes. But then there's Timid who reminds me of a little girl and even though it freaks me out when she overly apologizes she's like too innocent and too much a little girl. How can you hate a little girl. There's also Rage, yeah don't ask. I know how Rage gets all 'rawrrrr'" Beast boy put his arms up like a dinosaur and walked while rawring, then stopped. "But when Rae's all mad, she usually shows more of her emotions. Then there's Sloth, you think Rae wouldn't be a slob but daaang she's worst than me! There's also Rude, even though she is mean to me. Her insults are pretty good and her use of sarcasm is pretty awesome too." Beast boy tapped his chin trying to decide. Cyborg grinned as Robin and Starfire looked confused.
"You're missing one" Cyborg stated. Beast boy looked confused. "Loooove" this caused Beast boy's cheeks to turn pink.
"Well I like how Love comes out when there's waffles. Who knew she really loved waffles!" Beast boy stated. Cyborg laughed along with Robin. Arella just smiled. The door slid open revealing Raven, she was slouching and exhausted. She walked over to the couch and fell. "RAVEN ARE YOU OKAY? DID IT WORK?" Beast boy continued to ask useless questions, throwing in "Uou know I just realized you really do love waffles. Do you want some now" Raven pushed Beast boy's face away and buried her face into a pillow.
"No, I am an illusion because I destroyed myself" she said in her usual monotone. Beast boy rubbed the back of his head confused, causing Raven to grin a little.
"It worked" Cyborg and Robin said in a unison.
"That is splendid friend! We shall celebrate!" Star blabbed onto Beast boy and Arella about the party plans while jumping excitedly.
"So you heard what they were telling you?" Cyborg asked as he leaned over the couch. Raven slowly nodded as her eyes closed. "Do you agree" Raven shook her head and Cyborg chuckled. "You will one day" Raven couldn't help the small smile forming on her face as she drifted off to sleep.
Raven woke up back in her bed, which she has not been in since she was a child. She rubbed her eyes, once she opened there. She saw flames of red, her whole room burning down. She backed away but found that her headboard was burning. Crawling to the middle of the bed she watched the scene unfold. Too shocked to say anything. All the memories as a child, burning to a crisp. Raven tried to scream but her throat was tight. Air wouldn't come in or out. She wrapped her hands around her throat, trying to breathe as tears started to stream down her face.
A familiar evil laugh filled her ears. "You cannot hide forever" the voice echoed. The room continued to burn down. She tried to take in the smoky air. Unsure if this was a nightmare or not. She tried to stand up as she watched her room dissolved into a street that was unfamiliar to her. She watched as her friends struggle to escape from turning to stone. Looking around trying to find a pair of green eyes, she spotted him. Beast boy called out to Raven, trying to reach for her as his body turned to stone. On the other side of the street, Arella laid on the floor, blood covering her white leotard and cloak. The evil laugh echoed through her ears, the world was spinning around her as she watched everything at once. She felt the pain, the sorrow, she felt it all. A small scream escaped her mouth as more tears fell from her face."You cannot escape me, daughter!"
Violet eyes shot up, breathing hard. She drew her knees closer to her chest and hugged them. Pressing her forehead on her knees, letting the tears fall as she tried to get her breathing and emotions stable. She shut her eyes tight to make the tears stop falling, but they just kept falling.
She felt a warm hand on her shoulder. "Raven" the voice called out in concern. The fearless, strong, empathy girl found herself shaking in fear. Shaking and crying. It almost made her laugh. The arm snaked around her shoulders, her forehead pressed against the nape of his neck. The crying girl tried to make the tears stop falling, but Timid couldn't help let the tears fall. Rage was silent, Happiness wasn't even in her mind anymore, Brave cowered, all of her emotions were mute as Timid gave her everything to Raven.
Her heart was pounding fast as her crying soon came to a stop, she sniffled as she pulled away from her comforter. "Thank you Robin" she said in a weak smile. Robin handed her a napkins. She took them gratefully and wiped her tears and blew her nose. Discarding the used tissue. She sat cross legged, looking down at her clasped hands.
"Raven, what's wrong?" Robin asked in a caring voice. Raven looked up at him, glistening eyes. It reminded him of the seven year old Raven when Trigon took over the world. "Is he back" Raven nodded. "You had a nightmare then" She didn't reply, instead she just looked down at her clasped hands. "Hey, Raven. We will fix this" Robin reassured as he hugged the girl who was like a sister to him. "The team's all here for you"
Beast boy leaned beside the door, listening the whole scene take place. Robin beat him to it. He was gonna be the one to comfort Raven, he was gonna be the one to hold her. He clenched his fist and began walking the other direction. His fist clenched even tighter as his eye brows knitted together in confusion. He was angry, he didn't know why. The beast inside him screamed to get out again, trying to control it he continued to walk faster. And faster. Soon it turned to an a sprint. He shifted into a bird and few out of the building. Flying high into the sky, wanting so desperately to make anger go away.
He flew for hours, once he was sure his anger had subsided. He returned to the rooftop of the temple. Changing back into his green self, he inhaled deeply trying to get oxygen into his lungs. A water bottle was flung at him, which he caught and chugged down gratefully. He looked over at the person, grinning foolishly at his best friend. "Hey Cy" he said as he caught his breathe. "What's up?"
"Where've you been man?" Cyborg asked as he kicked himself off the wall, Beast boy turned to face the sunrise. Raven's awakening had been at 3, it was now 6 as the sun was beginning to rise. Cyborg put his hands behind his head and stared at the sunrise. "What's up BB?"
The changeling sighed as he crouched down, covering his face with his hands then running them through his sweaty hair angrily. "I don't know man." he said honestly. "I'm just." He paused as he let a frustrating sigh out. "I don't know" he said in a semi calm voice, it was strained. Cyborg knew his best friend well enough, and sure enough the Changeling did not understand what was wrong.
"Wanna tell me why you're so frustrated?"
The green teen chuckled in a crazy way as he shook his head, he looked up at Cyborg who had a grin on his face. Not taking his eyes away from the beautiful view. "Why don't you tell Bee that you like her?" Cyborg was taken back a little and coughed awkwardly, he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.
"I don't know man" in reality he did know. "Bee's sweet and all, but she's part of the Titan's East. We're so far from each other the distance and the fact that our lives are constantly in danger doesn't seem like good thing in a relationship" he looked over at his green friend who was now standing. Hands in his pockets, staring off into the sunrise. "Why?"
"Just curious," Cyborg looked back at the sunrise. It stayed quiet between the two for a while. As much as they both teased each other and beat each other up, they were always there for each other. "Raven woke up screaming." he looked at Cyborg this time. "I was going to check to see if she was okay, but Robin beat me to it" he chuckled. "I listened to what Robin was saying to her and I just got so mad" he looked away, scrunching his eye brows in confusion. "The beast." he paused in disgust "Was trying to come out. I was so angry and frustrated and mad and..." he clenched his fist again, feeling all the negative feelings coming back up. "I don't know why I felt like that. I wanted so badly to just rip his head off"
Cyborg grinned. "You like Raven"
The changeling didn't say a word. He looked at the raising then chuckled. "That's crazy."
Raven hugged her mother goodbye. Arella smiled sweetly as her daughter hugged her. "I shall visit earth one day. But for now, just remember. You do not have to agree with your emotions, but listen to them" Raven nodded as she hugged her mother once more. The team was going back to earth today. Raven was relieved that this whole issue was done with, but a little torn because of her mother.